Anticipation

Monday, May 17, 2010
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Woke up early, but out of bed a bit late. Not much motivation to go to work as there is nothing there to do now.
Felt good going for a long walk yesterday night. Was feeling a kind of irritation for lack of going out walking or running. Guess this not walking is one thing now I understand that always caused Eva to be grumpy and irritated.

Only anticipation of all my stuff and car coming from Vancouver by tomorrow morning. woo hoo freedom soon. Feel like in a jail here with not been able to travel around.

How i wish E would be here and us living like a family, with naughty kids running around early in the morning and her chasing them around with lots of laughter. Would have been the perfect loving family I always wanted.

Was touched by watching Narayan and his cute family.

Thanks to his wife, I have home cooked food packed for a few more days and don`t have to cook. But after two days of just eating home cooked food, my dress are all gone tight. :(

Still feel the strong connection with Eva. Not sure what she is feeling thou. This lack of communication and unwillings to talk is something beyond my powers. She showed this trait and tortured me much before. Should have known this kind of behavior will only escalate with time. And like a fool I keep hoping for the better and thinking that people will change, once they realise the affects of their actions.

off to work....
8:05 at the desk.
Again wonder why rush to take the shuttle @7:35. I would have walked but not a great idea to walk in the damp rainy weather. Especially when wearing formal work shoes. The life of the shoes will just collapse. And to get a shoe of my size is next to a miracle. Have to go to India to get it. So rather take the shuttle than risk walking in the rain.

This time again there were few people who lit up my morning with their return "hi's and 'good morning". cheers to them.
Hope one day, everyone will be able to begin their day happy and smiling.
Sent out mail to E, not sure if she reads it or just trashes it. Was wishing that we could really try and work at our relationship than giving up at the first opportunity.
I was willing to work, even thou I felt like giving up so many times. Even after my mom and the astrologer said it will be filled with lots of unhappiness. I did not care, Astrology is great. But the human will power is greater.
Wish she did not give up so easily. And tried to work on communicating with me than shutting off.
Wish there was more will in making the relationship work. There in lies the secret of success and failure.

THE WILL.

lets see, if she was truely in love with me, she will realise it soon and reciprocate. I have put my ego aside and made another attempt to approach her. With the wish that we can again meet this time on a trip and travel, exploring, on the East coast of US , And with my apartment now in US it will be easy for her to come and stay with me.
But again her own will and willigness to work with me at making our relationship as a honeymoon every day will be very crucial.
Not the attitude of the west to give up and move to a new one and keep repeating that life long. No work no gain.
The results of hard work are always sweeter. It takes time, but surely the results will taste much better and sweeter. :)

Nothing much happening at work. trying to set up the local DB and it was bombing every time I was connecting to the server.
11:45 give a fresh extract of DB and head to cafetria for lunch. huge line up for pasta. Get it around 12:15. by then lost suvendo. Tried to call him on the cell, but got a no number found. So return to the desk.

1:00pm extract completed , yet not working. Played around with the configuration file.
3:45pm then got a brain wave to change the connect string. Viola... the initialization works.

4:30 head to the Analytics training. and got to see that I had 2 missed calls on the cell phone. Signals don`t reach in the room I sit.
The calls were from the driver of the truck getting my car and house hold stuff. And then a mail from the US insurance company asking for Canadian drivers abstract. Ahhhh will all that work on and try to do have some kind of extra work that needs to be done. Can`t I just get something done easily and smoothly

Called up the driver and even he says that he has issues of driving into my apt block as the roads are smaller. And he is trying to find some place where he can transfer to a smaller truck and drive it in.... ahhhh why is life throwing all these complications at me. Then I ask him atleast can I get my car and he asks me to come to a certain place by noon to pick it up. and now to see if I can get a ride from someone for that.

atleast got the drivers abstract by calling up vancouver from ICBC... and faxed it to the insurance.

ITs like I am about to give up on my life and fighting for it. Was feeling so beat down and wondering why is there so much of obstruction to everything that I am doing. Why is it that everything that I do seems to have some kind of complication even in the smallest of things. Why is it taking shots at my optimism and punching me.

8:15pm Went for a run around the apartment complex. That was refreshing to see a couple of very pretty girls out running in the opposite direction and greeting me with a lovely warm smile. Gave me more motivation to go into the gym.
8:30 went into the office of the apt , took print out of my insurance card. Then entered the gym and started cycling. Watched dancing with the stars on TV and cycled for about 30 mins. Phew was not able to stand after that. 10 mins of running and then 30 mins of cycling. And a great treat of watching dancing.

Have to get back on to the dance floor soon. Wish I could have danced the bachata and merengue with Eva now.

10:30pm Saw delma`s pics of her house warming. got bantering with her. And decided to call her and surprise her. She is still so sweet and down to earth. How could a girl as brilliant as her be so under utilized. Surely she will do and achieve something great in Canada. Time will reveal her humble greatness.