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Woke up after a late night of Salsa in the city. Found two places to dance salsa in downtown now.
It was an amazing nite dancing with some really hot looking girls who were able to follow. One girl came and asked me to dance twice, one on a cha-cha and then surprisingly she came all the way from across the room and asked me dance on a bachata.
Is there something there? She waved a very shy bye-bye before she left for the night. And she seemed to be looking at me when she was dancing with other guys.
Not sure what will happen. Girls are all mysterious. She is undoubtedly very pretty and her friend also was very hot looking. Her friend was so easy to dance salsa with, she seemed so happy after I dipped her a couple of times. She loved it most , was smiling from ear to ear and looked like she was going to kiss me, had I not moved my face and it ended up in a side kiss and hug. Her eyes and expression looked the same way evas was when she surprised me with a tongue lock kiss on top of cypress.
Ahhhh I am not one who likes to have a relationship with someone because she is hot. Yes it does help in the sexual attraction department.
And then met a girl from Brazil who looked so much like an indian and her boy friend comes and asks me to dance with her. wow! Either I have become a better dancer by not dancing for so many months or something magical is about to happen.
Surprising I don`t remember any of their names, its like I don`t care what your name is, you are going to be another of those sluts who will just use me for what ever you see on the outside and then dump me for another bigger better deal (BBD). Its all like the business deals for you in the west. Just business. :) So why should I treat you different. I will also use u for what ever you are worth. That way I don`t have much emotion committed to you.
Got msg on Skype from Lubo about letter arriving , that I sent with Evas tax returns.
The online status showed that it came about 15 days ago to their country. And missy Eva did not even have the courtesy to reply to my mail. After her trip to Delhi and feeling like an arrogant celebrity, it looks like she thinks that every one should just come and kiss up her back. And that she can just cut people off like some cold hearted slut... yes slut is the word that Amit used and she proved him right. Have to agree with amit and also Nilesh that this is what you can expect from the people of the west. And I just turned out to be the fool who sent her dresses and collector items for her birth day. And all the while she was really going to »India to meet him and be with him. She might not be slut in the physical sense (not yet), but on the emotional side, she is big time. And does what most sluts do, fool themselves into believing that they are very poius and pure and are very consicious about critizism from their close ones and try to project a different image to their close people.
Again proving my instincts right that I did not travel to India with her or commit to going to India to travel to Kerala with her, as she just needed me as back up if Amit does not fall into her trap. Or who know that guy Rishit or her kiss buddy Mihir. Like I foresaw, she would end up with someone there, as is her character with in the month. And another one the next. .. Much against what she said, how can I get into another relationship so soon.... well here u go.
It feels so sick that she just wanted to maintain a cordial relationship till she got her check and then as soon as she got her check and returned from Delhi she decided to cut off on facebook. Something that I did not have the heart to do.
And now it feels so strange to be in communication with her parents, who were potential in-laws. Well she is the product of their creation, if I am feeling sick of her overall behavior, then they have to take some blame too. Her selfish mother most of all. Her mother does not come across to me as a honest person. Maybe very sensitive person, but she is not honest with herself. And that is one trait that Eva seems to have in her a lot. A LOT.
Well like beena said``
"When you fall, don't see the place where you fell, instead see the place from where you slipped. Life is about correcting mistakes."
She has focus mostly on defining the problem wrong. And hence will continue to do the same mistakes as she goes on ahead. Until such time as she decides to face the honest reality of her own actions.
Its great to read about good positive words, but whats the use if your actions are contradicting your words. And everything she writes on the Facebook wall feels like pretty boxes with junk in them. As whats inside is so shallow and superficial.
Hope that her new move into mediation might help her improve her inner self. Or again if she chooses the easier way of combining her own comfort level mixing junk with it, then its a lost cause.
Got to move on, maybe she and others before her are just some kind of trial runs for me before the real love comes into my life. But it feels so sick and not right. Why did so many things happen, why so many co-incidences. And why did I put in so much energy and my life into it, working and hoping that she was the one. Only to have her kick and stomp my heart like some crazy ball or to be crushed like a grape.
I still never under stood her fettish for kissing and been kissed by strangers. I thought and others think too that the may 1st kiss should be by someone we love not just random strangers or friends. Its celebrating lovers day by that special kiss . Not the love between friends, between friends its on the cheeks not mouth to mouth.
Guess she is not even aware of the pics raymondo posted on the web of them kissing last year. It felt so sick to see those pics, it was not just one kiss, it was so many and she calls it ahh just a kiss between friends,, yea right,,, stop bullshiting yourself first. He was just using that as a stage to get to the next stage of having sex as just friends. just like so many other guys in salsa , who use tricks like that to induce and seduce girls, step by step. Either she is truly an idot or she is someone who is not aware of the boundaries of relationship and where to draw the line or is like other girls who get easily seduced by playboys who know how to exploit weak character women.
I surely would not be able to live with someone kissing my wife or lover on the mouth. I would die of jealousy. And to me it is as holy as having loyalty and faithfullness towards my partner. But her values seem to be different or the values she liked to adopt. And its not anything to do with culture. Its all about man-women relationship and its sacredness to ones own heart. The fact that she so easily broke off everytime she got angry says that she does not hold the union and relationship to the high standards that I hold. For her its just an ego boost or just another kiss with some stranger on the mouth.
Well its not like that for me.
Good lesson learnt, next time there is someone who is showing any sick behavior like that, just cut them off and move away.
Well she will either become someone who will just go around the world changing boyfriends every month and become a true slut like amit said or will end up marrying Amit if she is lucky to trap him. Or who knows he must be a smarter guy who will just seduce her with his words and just use her for what ever ideas he has. He atleast seems to have screwed it up big time between me and her or no, she was already setting it up to appear that way so that it will be easier to convince him or her next lover that I was an ass hole. Good for her and her Karma. cheers.
1:00pm, After noon set out to go shopping at costco, Patel grocerries and wal mart.
Funny how I just said kem-cho to a lady giving out samples at costco and she just started talking to me in gujarathi and I was just looking at her not knowing what to say.
4:00pm returned back home and noticed that there are a bunch of girls living opposite to my apartment and they were having a party... hmm would be nice to get to meet them.
New neighbor replaced the Indian from hyderabad. New guy is from Haiti. Seems to be having a bit of snobbishness about him. The french ascent even thou he is of african origin.
Wanted to cook my first salmon curry, had Bru Coffee that I brought at the Patel store, thought that it would be instant coffee, but it was not, so kind of disappointed there.
Feeling so sleepy, passed out in the couch, this time with out TV. woke up with some kind of night mare again at 2am, confused as to the day of the week, is it sunday or monday. Do i have to go to work. So far have not done any real work and its almost 2 months. april may. And I have not got paid for the 2 weeks at Satyam-apex2000.
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