Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Apr-29 2014. My heart and butterfly smile

Tuesday Apr-29 2014.

My heart

For days they were Lost
For weeks they were crying,
For months they were locked
For years they were trapped.

And just that smile from a beautiful angel,
melted the walls and barbed wires.
liberated the little baby butterflies
from cocoon of misery they were trapped in
... thank you , thank you, thank you.

" The Girl with the Butterfly Smile "
A smile so beautiful,, that every time she smiled.... butterflies just fluttered and danced around in joy.... sunlight bounced of their wings such that it made the northern lights look pale .....
The lights twisted, turned, bounced of the million soft wings in heavenly splendor...
Oh Girl with the Butter Fly Smile you make me feel so Shy...
Dreams and thoughts I am filled with that my eyes are always twinkling with stars
Your lovely round baby eyes filled with gentle innocence just flushes my heart
lil lolipop hands
I held and danced to your sweetness.
The touch of your Soft cheeks feels
soothing and nourishing  my torn soul.
,,,ohhhh if only god was human, he would probably understand that its not right to emotionally torture people...
***********************
Why is it
.....Everywhere I see
............Everyone I see
..I see
...........The face, with the Butterfly smile.
***********************

It doesn’t take me much

4 July 2008 at 18:01

It doesn’t take me much
----------------------

It doesn't take me much to fall in love,
just a sweet lil gal with flowing hairs.

The twinkling beauty in her eyes,
matching the beauty of her smile.

It doesn't take me much to fall for a gal.
Just a simple gal with a tender caring heart.

It doesn't take me much to fall for a gal.
Just a simple gal whose eyes sparkle when our eyes meet.......

Apr 28 2014, Epiphany

Monday Apr 28 2014,

Epiphany on a sleepless weekend : 
There is difference between.....
Loving the idea of been in love with someone and loving who they really are....



Books and Stories helps us Imagine,
Imagination helps us Dream , 
Dreams give us Hope. 
Hope leads to Desire.
Desire gives us Drive,
Drive helps us improve ourselves. 

- Guru Vino ,,, hehehehe..... laughter cures all 

26 April 
thou the Edmonton weather was not great, the people there are ,,,, 
well just been in LA for about 4 days now and it feels like I have been here for lot more, too many things happening all at the same time. 
But really miss the simple
, down to earth, sweetness of Edmonton..... 
My wishes are very simple and down to earth.. well kind off ,, but the universe does not seem to agree and says,, oops sorry clerical error by the angles...

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Apr 26 2014 New Apt lease, beach

Saturday, Apr 26 2014

Applied and booked the new apt on pine.
was fascinating to discover that it was walking distance from the beach.

Sent docs to movers ,,, now to see if we can coordinate the dates.

Sweet Vedanta : To steal the heart of the person who stole your heart and live together happily ever after.. ;)

Friday, April 25, 2014

Apr 25 2014 Your path will be difficult, but will be rewarding.

Friday Apr 25 2014

Fortune cookie today : Your path will be difficult, but will be rewarding.
hmmmmmm which path? Career, love, family, peace, happiness, money,.....!!?


We are all modules of Energy.
When you are attracted to a person, you are really attracted to that module of energy.
Sometimes when it matches, it gels seamlessly and HEAVEN it is. 
Dancing is a great way to know if your energy matches.... it became more evident yesterday with the different levels of energy and frequencies 

I have never been a guy who went oohhh ahhh for celebrities, they never had any impact on me.... 
I just go ,, hmm.. ok.. then start wondering why am not feeling the stuff that other people are feeling ... also used to wonder ,, whats in mona lisa's smile... its just a painting of some round expression less face.. why are people going so poetic about her ??? 
how can people feel all those kind of things just looking at her painting!!??.... 

then BOOM,, one fine sunday evening,,,,, I got hit by the butter fly smile... .. ever since then... well the result is the universe decided to send me to LaLa Land  hehehehe

Then in its own way, the universe tried to build up expectations by throwing in some obstacles/blocks to the lala land trip,,,,, it kind of raised my expectations a bit... but then in its own way...the universe said... sorry hehehe... not your lucky day... ... aww well one can only try and hope for so much . "every thing happens for a reason" , but glad that I was able to experience those thoughts and un explained treasured feelings, that makes me smile... , something that you cannot fake or buy with money... 100% organic . PURE and FREE  .. just wished I had the opportunity to know her and the person behind the butterfly smile....

and I have never been a guy who went oohhh ahhh for celebrities, they never had any impact on me.... I just go ,, hmm.. ok.. then start wondering why am not feeling the stuff that other people are feeling ... also used to wonder ,, whats in mona lisa's smile... its just a painting of some round expression less face.. why are people going so poetic about her ??? how can people feel all those kind of things just looking at her painting.... then boom,, one fine sunday evening,,,,, I got hit by the butter fly smile...  .. ever since then... well the result is the universe decided to send me to LaLa Land  hehehehe

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Apr 23 2014 LA life day 1 (3rd time around)

Wednesday Apr 23 2014  LA life day 1 (3rd time around)

Woke up to a brand new day in LA.
It has its own magic of sexual charge. When the gals lock eyes with you its so sexually charged ... so different from the warm sensual sweet looking gals of Edmonton.

ahhh so to be smitten by the girl with the butterfly smile.
Had always heard people talk about mona lisas smile and wondered ,, are these people crazy... whats so great about her smile..
now been smitten by a gal a bit looking like her.. but much, much ,, much better and sweeter... I can relate to those people.....


Monday, April 21, 2014

Apr 21 2014, overcoming bottle necks

Monday, Apr 21 2014

Atlast got to see that the document cleared customs and was able to pick it up in the afternoon.
Was on the conf call with the team,, thanks to technology.. cheers

NOW on to booking flight and car..

When a man is smitten by a women, he feels so happy, that he thinks that he is super human enough to be able to capture the moon for the sweetie of his life... :)




" The Girl with the Butterfly Smile "
A smile so beautiful,, that every time she smiled.... butterflies just fluttered and danced around in joy.... sunlight bounced of their wings such that it made the northern lights look pale .....
The lights twisted, turned, bounced of the million soft wings in heavenly splendor...
Oh Girl with the Butter Fly Smile you make me feel so Shy...
Dreams and thoughts I am filled with
that my eyes are always twinkling with stars
Your lovely round baby eyes
filled with gentle innocence just flushes my heart

lil lolipop hands
I held and danced to her sweetness.
The touch of your Soft cheeks feels
soothing and nourishing to my soul.
,,,ohhhh if only god was human, he would probably understand that its not right to emotionally torture people...


Feeling heavy hearted. 
Zillions of Questions, Zero Answers.
Came Feb-23,,,,, leaving Apr-22 ..... (thou the plan was to leave on Apr-20).... Its like some mysterious force is playing or moving my life based on some weird formula ! ? ???
And never did I get so smitten and fall so hard. 

Apr 21 2014.. LA

Monday Apr 21 2014


Was supposed to be in LA today,,,, but fate mysteriously played its own game, delayed the documents I was supposed to have received and so had to cancel the trip.

Is the universe trying to tell me something!!!!

was hoping to meet the gal with the butterfly smile and lollipop hands..... but she never turned up for salsa or was not there when I got there.

,,, so what does that all mean... what is the mystery that life is trying to unravel.

Have been out dancing ... met the other beginners dancers who seem to be feeling the loving vibrations from me.... its like I have gotten a bit more braver and carefree ,,, falling in kind of a love with someones smile.

It was interesting to get to  hear "I like you" from the lady with the beautiful eyes.. felt a bit nervous that I might be misleading her as I was just dancing in happiness most of the time imagining that I was with the gal with the butterfly smile. Luckily was able to sneak in the information about my moving off to LA and could see the disappointment on her face. But glad that it did not go anywhere to end up hurting people.

It feels strange to be the center of attention from so many gals ,,,,, while my brain is swirling with the images of the butter fly smile... and my whole body is trembling with happiness like I have never known before.
All this cause of some physical attraction to someone who I will probably be never seeing again...
And for some reason, I am seeing her beauty in every gal I look at and guess the others are seeing the twinkling stars in my eyes....

But then why , why, why was I not allowed to fly out today,,,,, if it was not meant to happen. why ... but in a good way, after about 4 years I am able to feel the feelings of love ,, no overflowing love.. especially after the pain of cruel betrayal that I tried to endure..... It was funny to see e's friend send me a mail saying that she wishes to un-friend me on face book as she felt uncomfortable... ahh for trying to remind me about all the pain I went thru day and night the past 4 years or was it 5 years of grieving for falling for the bad person.

Atleast it feels good to be paying attention to someone who has thus far proved to be worthy of my attention now. With her honest replies to my mail and in her own ways of showing that she is a caring person. Who would run up behind me in -10 deg freezing weather to say she is sorry, just because our interaction felt weird.... that showed some real class of caring character of the person, so much different from been treated as unworthy person by the last...

" The Girl with the Butterfly Smile "
A smile so beautiful,, that every time she smiled.... butterflies just fluttered and danced around in joy.... sunlight bounced of their wings such that it made the northern lights look pale .....
The lights twisted, turned, bounced of the million soft wings in heavenly splendor...
Oh Girl with the Butter Fly Smile you make me feel so Shy...
Dreams and thoughts I am filled with
that my eyes are always twinkling with stars
Your lovely round baby eyes
filled with gentle innocence just flushes my heart
The touch of your Soft cheeks feels
soothing and nourishing to my soul.
,,,ohhhh if only god was human, he would probably understand that its not right to emotionally torture people...



Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Apr 15 2014 Vishu week

Tuesday Apr 15 2014

...... patient wait for another 4 hrs to know the course of my fate and life ,,,,, the wait and boredom is a torture....

hmmm in the mean time I am toying around with the idea for a Hollywood movie script --- >" The Girl with the Butterfly Smile "

A smile so beautiful,, 

that every time she smiled.... 
butterflies just fluttered and danced around in joy.... 
sunlight bounced of their wings 
such that it made the northern lights look pale ..... 
The lights twisted, turned, bounced of the million soft wings in heavenly splendor...
,,,ohhhh if only god was human, he would probably understand that its not right to emotionally torture people... thats the devils creed. hehehehe...


Ever wonder whats your purpose in life?
There was one time, when I thought,, yea the purpose of my life was to be happy, remain Happy.

So I went about the process of loving my own self, doing the things I wanted to do when I wanted to do and generally feeling happy about it for some time.

Then after sometime I asked myself so whats the purpose of other peoples lives,, whats the purpose of other living creatures that share this world of ours??!!??

hmmm what do we all have in common? 
--- many breath air, eat food, ,,,, repeat the process and its supporting actions over and over again. And some fade out, wither out, expire, die...

What is it that we all do... !!???? what is that common and seems to have purpose for all living creatures....
is the purpose of all other creatures to be happy?  

Animals, fish, worms, reptiles, trees, plants, butterflies, birds, bacteria, amoeba...... 
,, hmmm maybe... 
And most of them maybe happy, just because they get something to eat..

And then it stuck me....

We all are here for one and only one purpose.. that is to.... -->

.....

Groups of like creatures were formed, societies and communities formed, 
Creatures like Ants and human beings formed very organized groups,
Human beings went on to create religion, laws, machines, buildings and other service oriented functions,


All for the one and only purpose of supporting this one,,,,,


*************** Apr -14 - 2014 monday ************

Interesting.... ,,,,, I rather dance with beginners than snobby experts or performers...
I think dancers are broadly in two categories (neither are wrong, its just their right to choose and prefer ).. 

1) who dance to perform, for the attention, for the fame, they are usually looking around to see who is watching them or looking at the mirror when dancing.

2) who partner dance to connect with their dance partner, don't care about who is watching, the mirror is just a distraction..... like me for the pure of joy of syncing up each other energy and frequency of vibrations..
.... (again each person has their own right to choose what and who they wish to dance with)...
cheers.

************
*************** Apr -13 - 2014 Sunday ************

Phew! what a great end to the year, with 5 days of salsa music and a few great dances. Loved dancing with a few beginners today...... they followed so well. 

Cheers to the start of the Malayalam New Year.... cheers and Happy Vishu to all


******

Feel like a missionary trying to convert people into the religion of Salsa dancing and Toastmasters ..... Both great tools I found helped me shed some of my shyness .....

******

Ethical Strength of Character : Is NOT doing to others what you Would Not want done to you. 


************** Apr 12 2012 SAturday...
Going to be a non stop busy day.. ahhh just finished 3 hrs listening to inspiring speeches @ toastmasters contest.

Now off for some Spanish speaking classes (3hrs for Spanish fun),,, 
Then for some salsa at XO and then more salsa at Tumbleweeds 
(where I believe they play the best salsa music,,, rather the kind of music I like.... Cuban at heart )

************Toastmasters
Love hearing from people about their life, find it very inspiring to hear what they share with a passion and conviction that holds my attention.

Take away from people sharing parts of their life


1) Make a list of 50 wishes , DO NOT use common sense...

2) Hug for 20 seconds, your loved ones, friends,,,,, you will change yourself and the person you are hugging

3) Always give 100 percent, unless you are giving blood (man wearing a T-shirt at a blood donation place)

4) Dare to Dream and dare to Dream big

5) Sharing knowledge equals to sharing wealth 

***************
hmmmmmmm....
That poetically beautiful moment, when you get a dance partner who follows smoothly like a paint brush over canvas.....
Every stroke filled with the magical energy of connection,,,,, feeding and liberating the crazy creativity.....
Suddenly you are dancing and making moves you never even knew before..... Having laughter filled fun with the resulting goofiness... and still appreciating each other for those magical moments...  

****************@ Tumbleweed
ahhh what a great feeling... just danced one Cumbia with an amazingly beautiful gal ,, whos smile felt like the light from a million candles .... just that one dance was enough to keep me smiling ear to ear.. wow! she was so sweet and down to earth.... 

****************@ xo
t was nice to introduce a couple of people I met at the Spanish class to Salsa. And huge thanks to the gals who were kind enough to dance with beginner guys. ...
.hahaha... and to top it all, it was funny meeting a Gorgeous and friendly Ethiopian Princess ,, how could someone have so beautiful looking eyes.
****


Friday, April 11, 2014

Apr-11-2014 Heart break and LA

Friday Apr 11 2014

Feeling very Heart Broken   ...... life sure THROWS, nooooo HURLS curve balls at me..... like Catch 22 kind of ,, paradoxical , contradictory .. aahhhhhh ,, all I want is a simple life.... booooohoooo.. 

For some reason Edmonton did to me in a few days, what Ashburn could never do to me in more than an year there, nor philly ..... It stole my heart.. no wonder its called the "heartland"

,,,, just going thru my heart wrenching feelings of helplessness of my desires and lifes happenings... great to be going to LA... at the same time heart breaking to be leaving Etown... its like going from the Heartland (edmonton is known as that) to the Fake Land (LA)..


yesterday after 2 rounds of interview,, got to know in the morning that I have been selected. had 2 other rounds of interview before that....

ITs great to be having a job.. And I need to be greatfull for that.
At a place others would just love to have and have my life,, as chakr said, he would love to swap with me.

... yea nothing is for ever,, but I always wanted a simple life at one place with one gal who would also love me as much as I love her,,, but ,,,, I end up becoming a gypsy.... all my life.. lets see.. maybe I am getting too old and sentimental.. it was easy moving away from Ashburn Virginia in Feb end.. as I did not feel that warm connection there even after living there for one year... and here in just one month.. ahhh its heart breaking


Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Apr-09-2014 Nobody-Somebody

Wednesday Apr-09-2014
Been a Nobody
And hoping to be loved by - Somebody  ...

Is a story for Anybody
who loves - Somebody :)

..

It was interesting to get a 2nd round of interview call . Not sure to be happy about it, as it feels heart breaking to be getting away from Edmon... especially since I so foolishly and in a very out of control way fell head over heals for the girl with the butter fly smile.

If only she knew how much my heart goes all limp and googly everytime I think about her and her smile and her sweet lovely big eyes...

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Apr 08 2014, Sharing and loving

Tuesday, Apr 08 2014.

When one is on a dizzy High by been in love, one tends to think with a open heart and mind of the world been a very loving and wonderful place and everyone is going to be loving, positive and wonderful just like us.
And the reality of the world (or each persons world) is what they try to spread and preach.

When in love, they tend to want to spread the love to every human being they come across, forgive enemies and people who hurt them , love them inspite of all , walk around with a EAR-to-EAR smile.

Happy, happy, happy,,, and spreading happiness and the feeling of happiness as Happiness tends to overflow from the heart over filled with love. Its very contagious. :)

Comparing this with the people who seem to be closed, been secretive, afraid, afraid of others, what others will say or think about them...... These are people or are people going thru not feelings of not having love or feelings of love and greater goodness in themselves that they end up and tend to see the same in other around them.

Even on facebook, one can see that when is in love, people tend to be open and expressive about their feeling and seem to want to spread the goodness to the others around the world.
And those involved in some kind of spooky affairs , that they themselves are not sure (and maybe their inner soul tells them that they are doing something wrong) tend to be overly secretive and try to project to the others some kind of fake projection of what they are going thru and afraid to reveal the real feeling and relations they are having......

The biggest give away about their relationship been screwed up is that they themselves are not sure and are not been true to their Honest feelings and intentions. :)


Sunday, April 6, 2014

Apr 06 2014, Making my heart flutter everywhere

Sunday, Apr 06 2014

Had two interviews last week, one for New york and another for Los Angles ,, east coast to west coast.
And it was another feeling of highs, been with the people of spanish beginner classes.
Except the heart break that caro is moving off to toronto. She is so sincerely sweet and such a wonderful person. Can only feel the honest , nice feeling or sweetness around her. Hopefully her life improves and gets better for her.
And the new teacher from Colm, had seen her at salsa. Well now atleast I know one other person from outside salsa at salsa. :)

Was not a great week for salsa. Funny that I am in the first city where they don't have a regular salsa on a Friday.

But the sunday salsa after not having it last week, should be good. Excited and confused about meeting the smile that I have fallen in love with or in other words, the smile that I have a crush on.
awwww how can a smile be so heart disarmingly disarming , how could it invoke the feeling of happiness in me, how could it make me smile like I am in love and on top of the world.!!!!????

Looking into her eyes and thinking " If only you knew how much I am falling in love with you spirit and your smile"
wonder what she is thinking with that sweet smile, or whats cooking behind that sweet smile.!

The school boy like feeling of excitement, charging up my body and energy levels. Making me smile from ear to ear. Like nothing else in the world matters.