Friday, Jun 25-2010 =============== Great week end to look forward to for a Full moon, lunar eclipse, said to be one of the very powerful ones to come by astrologers. Woke up a bit tired from yesterdays work out. Was not able to motivate myself to physically do much. Just did a few breathing exercise. Then saw the mail from Eva who seems to be in some kind of flux. Maybe the effect of Full moon seems to affect her as before. Just wish that she could move ahead by putting the past to rest. I have said sorry for things I did intentionally and unintentionally and was even thinking about the mis understanding that happened at Grand Canyon, it was a honest mistake. Maybe its her own guilty consciousness of not looking at the mistakes she made and all the hurt that she cause me too. But even if she does not regret it or let me know about any regret she had. I have forgiven her for her actions towards me So I guess I am feeling more at peace than she is. Once we look back and understand our own faults and our own mistakes that we all make as human beings, it just becomes a matter of accepting our limits and saying yep we did our best, hopefully we have learnt positively and we will use that learning to use it in our present and future. And not keep grudges and all the negative emotions, which are never productive and will only lead to more negative emotions. funny it must be a lot of negativity going on today. Even the conf call with kolkata Raj Da the guy sitting besides me seems to be angry at the work of people in Kolkata. And seems to be continuing on the path of making the status conf into a fight . Well hope he understands that he is not the only one who is sincere and other people also have their own pressures in life and they are doing their best. May not meet the requirements, but they are doing what ever is possible by them. Also got a mail from Bangalore about the interview I conduct for the girl Shewta. replied that I have given my feed back to Ajit the Account manager. As I was sure that she had put in all fake experience and did not really do any real work on CTI. :) well at least she seems to know the terminology involved. Just trained on CTI I guess. The india conf call got over pretty fast. guess a lot of people are feeling very low and negative and aggressive today. Is this the affect of Full moon. Brings out the true self in people and highlights it more. Atleast I am feeling positive and not getting bothered by these negativity going on around me. hehehe was reminded of the old Czech movie that Eva was talking about. The cat showing the different colors of people based on what they were thinking. hehehe so the full moon brings out the real self out. :) sometimes sad I guess. But things which can be controlled by meditation. political quote for the day: "Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian." (native Americans they mean by Indians). So true and yet most people forget that and try to act like they have been living here for centuries and complain about mexicans coming into the US. Actually I think mexicans have more right to these places than the majority of the population. Now I understand why I am feeling tired. Did not drink enough water. Was so lost in watching the moon that I did not drink enough water and hydrate. First sign of all these is the cramping up at different parts of the body. Got to call up Malini and Ashish to see if they are up for going out to down town philly for some late night salsa. :) Tomorrow there is pot luck at Sidneys house. Tapas pot luck. Something spanish, wondering if its okay to take some indian stuff and a bottel of Viiinooo hehehe. love my name. See Evi on line , not really motivated to face her negativity or make her feel negative because of thinking about me. Thou I wish I could just do something to make her smile,laugh and be happy. She seems still angry at lot of stuff, well she is always angry at something. Only the words from some calming and inspiring quotes seem to cool her hot head down. And full moon seems to bring out the craziness out of her. Hopefully its not some kind of extreme case of bi-polarity she seems to show and she will positively work towards the solution within herself. I am and was hoping that we could be good friends and put out the Good and bad things that happened in the past behind us as soon as possible and move towards a calmer and happier state. And the more we delay been good friends and good to each other, the longer we will carry all the negative emotions. Something I am hoping that she will realize soon. Don't want her to be hurting herself thinking about and focusing on the negative past. And hope she can atleast try to practice some of the great words she seem to quote. Send malini a mail via iPhone, such a pain with no personal email access at work :) Hoping to coordiante tonites salsa outing with her and Ashish the new guy in Philly i met at the hike last week. Again seeing Eva in some kind of emotional turmoil, I am reminded of the song. Its only words, words are all I have to make you feel better and take your heart away. Words are all I have to make your suffering disappear. Its only words, words are all i have to make you smile and laugh. Its only words, words are all I have. :) To take your heart away.
Its a sad thing that she is totally focusing on what I have done bad and not even for one moment considering the fact that she has to do with a lot of it because of her thoughtless ignorant actions.
As long as she is in the world of hers of seeing it as all my fault then she will just continue on further into life with out having learnt anything positive or making any positive direction. I have forgiven her for all the stuff she did to hurt me and also for having tortured me with her many words of manipulation and lies. Even thou I am still besieged with questions as to why she had to lie to me at all about Amit. Well I guess even she does not know why she ended up lying to me and her parents. And she rather prefers to blame me than take any responsibility for her action, I sure she will surely like to fool herself into making me the Villain in all this. But holding zero responsibility for her own actions.
If at all anything I think I have been more patient to her and realized that I could be that patient and friendly and willing to work out issues and help us both grow together. But what can I do if the other person has a wall up and not open to even understanding the situation I try to explain. Well it takes time I guess for them to even understand that they must have done something wrong and she always was trying to preach moving forward with out learning from the past or using the past as lessons for the future, Just bulldozing into the future without correction the correctable errors of the past is not how people evolve and grow.
Was trying to set up DTC call in number to test with the british guy matt who seems to be having his own anger going on about the situation. Guess today I am to expect that from almost every one who is bi-polar. Full moon brings out the crazies. hehehe
Get a msg back from Malini seems to want to go out for salsa and also seems to want to go on Satruday night. Called up Ashish even he seems to be intrested.
So its party time.
Get the testing done in the war-room with a successful screen pop. phew :}
Get back home after compiling a doc from the code , reverse engineering to get to know the existing business functionality . need to go over it with krathik
Get back home around 7, eat dinner and head out in the evening... salsa, salsa baby
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