Sat - jun 26 2010
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Started the day with cleaning up of the washroom. then trying to sort out the plastic I accumulated. need to find a place to recycle it.
Then got to head out for the tapas pot luck.
my horoscope for today :
Your Lovescope - Today, June. 26, 2010
Is marriage in your immediate future? Thoughts of it, at least, could cross your mind today. You tend to be cautious and move slowly, however, so you're not apt to say anything to your beloved until you have all contingencies worked out in your mind. Still, your partner may say something to you. The astral energy implies that this has been coming for a long time. Move ahead with caution, but move ahead.
hehehehehe,, sweet
Wanted to cook something authentic, but was not motivated. wrote a nice mail for Evi la miminko, but not sure to send it her, basically wanted her to know that I understand her uncomfortableness and dilema, after having lied to me and getting caught in her lies, as I now know her much better than anyone else and accept her for what ever she is. Only problem is that she has to learn to accept herself as she is and not try to project herself as the super perfect person she wants people to believe .
And that part of her always wanting others approval of her as something different from what she really is and what she thought I think about her is causing her to feel uncomfortable. I have forgiven her for all the hurt she caused me and the trauma she led into, holding nothing back and yet loving her for whatever she truly is.
I am not asking her to love me back or anything, that is not how love works, I just want us to be good friends and let the past go and use it to learn more about ourself and our foolishness in handling certain situations.
But she is not able to let go, because she is not able to accept the fact that she got caught in her maze of lies as any human who lies. And her Huge EGO is not letting her accept the fact and forgive herself.
And that is causing her to rather blame me for everything and not letting her own self to own up to many of the mistakes she did. And that in turn is causing her to feel bouts of fear and trauma every time we contact each other. I remind her of all the negativity she keeps trying to hide from herself and others.
But that is part of everyone, everyone has negative stuff, nothing to be afraid about, just have to learn to Accept it as something that is there in everyone and try to work at keeping it in control.
The sooner we learn to accept those negativity as part of our life and try to work at controlling them sooner we will be able to face our own self with more confidence and thus bringing out our sincerity. Hopefully she understands this part.
Almost afternoon and running out of ideas for the Tapas pot luck.
In the end around 1pm decide to go to Costco and see if I can get something. Got a pack of Tacos (72 lil ones) and some milk and chicken thigs .
Went for the tapas potluck around 4:30 with the hope of hiking, but it turns out that the hiking got put off. so it was just the pot luck at 6:0
the Tacos seem to be a great hit.
Had Ashish and Jeff at Sidneys place and Malini joined in too from NJ.
Started off with a course of wine (vino), then had the Whiskey that Ashish brought.. then had some red vino.
Watched the Beatles for some time as Sidney was a huge fan.
Somewhere in between I dragged Malini and started dancing the salsa with her, was surprised to see her dance and follow so well with out her dancing shoes and no salsa music, just dancing to some random jazz music. Wow. that was very impressive. I am impressed by her not wearing make up, ability to hold a intelligent conversation on history of the world cultures. Seems to have traveled a lot, now I am feeling a bit bad that I never got to travel like she did internationally all related to work. Awesome to have an accounting job that takes your around the world.
Then we had lots of discussions on subjects of history of US, India, Russia, European migration, Migration of Indians, native Indian history.
Looked like Malini and Ashish have traveled all over Europe. Damm I have to go on a trip thru Europe at any cost. Last year I wanted to go, but Eva kind of changed it to an US trip.
Then have to travel thru whole of South East Asia too, it was interesting to hear from them how they found a lot of Indian cultural and religious influence in Vietnam, Cambodia, Malaysia, bangkok. Then the analysis started and more facts on history started coming out. About how powerful the Tamil kingdoms were and how they used the boats to go conquer the south east asian kingdoms
Malini was trying to find our more about the girls in my life.
haha not so fast lassie.
I think I like her.
then the conversation turned to all the Psychotic behavior of girls during full moon and how the bi-polar girls like ... seem to be so nice and sweet and suddenly the polarity of the ions in their body seem to change during the full moon and they turn out to behave like crazy creatures. The magnetic pull has an effect on the ions in our body based again on the Iron content in our system.
Jeff who was married a few times seem to be of the opinion that all women are like that. Even malini seem to say that.
Strange was the common experience of the other people about swiss people been too stuck up and rigid. Not much fun, but great hikers. Something weird in their behavior compared to the others Europeans.
Ashish seems to have traveled to Czech too, so might get some info from him on how to plan a trip to Prague and travel thru Zlin into Slovakia and hike up the hi-tatras.
Back home after after about 6 hrs of philosophical, cultural, historical, pshycological talk and lots of talk about hiking around Philly.
Its a great full moon outside. lovely in its glory....
There is someone in this world out there
Waiting for me in this world somewhere
Asking " Honey when will you be back home?"
Back home!
Back home!
When will you be back home?
Back home?
Waiting for me, so she could share,
her deepest thoughts so rare,
Her daily musing,
And her silly things,
Share the jokes and laughter
deepest fear and sadness
My shoulder to cry and
hugs and kiss away the sorrows
Where are you my love
Lost am I in this wild wicked world
My sould hungry and thirst
seeking out our home,
Clueless and lost so far.
Looking at every passing face for a trace a hint
How long do I have to wait
For the right princess of my heart,
So far its been vandalized by a few
Tarnished and beaten down by few
Hurt and kicked about by a few
But yet pulling up and standing strong
With fresh hope and optimism
Hoping you would be by my side soon
Waited have I for too long.
Holding down the lid of my heart filled with love
let out a few burst of steam
whiff of my love a few got to feel
But the best and the whole remains all yours my love
waiting for you,
carrying it for you.
Searching for you
How long will you hide from me
or have our paths crossed and we just missed each other
or are we just a little away from each other
in my heart I carry the love and its special fragrance
just so that its you and me in the garden of love
our house that becomes a home with you and me in our love
Patrick posted pics of his daughter, she is just hours old. We both ended up having a girlfriend almost at the same time last year, both girls did belly dancing. He and his girl stuck it out together thru all odds and worked it out and now they are a cute family. cheers
My story ended up in me getting my self esteem kicked around like a football and my heart thrown down from the heights of Eiffel tower and then stomped down into the earth. Just was taken for granted and keep getting treated like I am some kind of low disrespectful creature.
So much for been nice.
Yep this is what happens to nice people and for been patient and trying to work it out with someone who, just is selfish to the core in her own innocent foolishness.
And foolish me hoping that they will understand about themselves and the damage they cause to others and will turn around. So far there is and has been only taking me and my sincere love for granted.....
ahhhhh who knows the future.
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