Oct 31 2012, ADHD

Wednesday Oct 31 2012

Psyched up and was able to get up early. Again what a feeling to feel the amount to time at hand even thou it was just around 8:30am when I checked for time felt like I was awake for a lot and had got lot done.

Called up Raj and aji, left voice again. then forwarded the notice mail to amti.
Got a call for opening in Dal. not sure if it will materialize, so far no info regarding the opening in puerto rico.

It feels scary and not able to focus on a few things I wish I could focus and study. More like a heightened case of AD or AD HD

Just gave a search and after reading about the sympotms feel like they were talking about me.

ADHD Symptom	Children with ADHD	Teens with ADHD	Adults with ADHD
Inattention	Children may be easily distracted, have difficulty following instructions or completing schoolwork, and have trouble listening.	Teens may lose things such as homework and schoolwork, make careless mistakes and fail to complete tasks.	Adults may put things off until the last minute, fail to follow through on commitments, have difficulty sustaining attention to reading or paperwork.
Hyperactivity	Children may climb or run excessively and have trouble remaining seated.	Teens may have difficulty engaging in quiet, sedentary activities, fidget with hands or feet and feel restless.	Adults may feel restless and impatient, like they're always "on the go," always need to be busy after work or on vacation.
Impulsivity	Children may find it hard to wait their turn when playing with friends, or may blurt out answers in school.	Teens may be impatient, frequently interrupt or intrude on others to the point of causing difficulties in social and academic settings.	Adults may interrupt others in class or at work, have difficulty waiting one's turn, finish others' sentences during conversations.

So now the question is how do I control this without having to take medication.

Meditation seemed to help, but it sure is slow with again the inablity to focus much. Group meditation did help.

ahhhhhhhhh

Oct 30 Tuesday, Sandys Fart

Tuesday Oct 30

Sitting at home listening to the wild noise been made with the wind blowing got me thinking and comparing it to a continuous Fart from something as big as a huge humongous space ship or maybe better put as Sandys Fart.

Sandy farted and blew out all my sources of communication with the outside world.
Woke up early morning to check the damage, car is still there.
So checked the phone, no signal, cable,, not connecting at all. Damm started feeling a kind of nervousness . What do I do? Don't have TV so do not know whats happening outside of this lil village I am in.
Not able to call up friends or family to get any information.

Had break fast, showered up and went out driving around to see if I could pick up the cell phone signal anywhere near.
Sat at the parking lot of walmart and got the telephone signals and called up home, nar and anl.

But saw that there was neither 3G nor 4G signals.

Again after sometime went around driving and saw that the signals got stronger close to the school. So drove back parked in the school parking lot and checked a few mails. Phew.

Then got back home, around afternoon got cable internet connection,, cheers.. atlast able to check and get to know whats been happening around the world.

Oct 29 2012 Monday, Sexy Sandy's dance

Monday Oct 29 2012

Its now a wait for the performance by Sexy Sandy and her side kicks to show us what its got.
The news seems to be bad with the philly airport closed down and the subways of New york closed.

few more hours for the dance of nature.

Oct 28 2012 Suday, waiting for Sandy

Sunday Oct 28 2012

Was a day of wait and watch with cloudy overcast.
Went to costco, saw that the crowds were lesser on the road and in the shop today than yesterday, when it seemed like every one was on the road and crowding shops and parking lots.

People hoarding up as a precaution of the fall out of the unpredictable out come of natures actions.

Oct 27 2012 Hike out

Saturday Oct 27 2012

around 1pm went out for a 7 mile hike.
then part of the group went to whole foods for beer and after a long time I had burger, Cowboy burger and fries along with it. yummy with the fried onions and bacon.

Oct 26 , end of depressing week and dreaded start of hurricane week

Friday Oct 26 2012

End of depressing week and dreaded start of hurricane week.

CAlled up raj and ajt.. and then send out the mail. But nothing seems to be coming back from them.
Kind of increased dilema and fear as now I got to know that I am on H1B instead of TN which means I need to leave the country as soon as I am laid off.

And next week starts with the huricane virtually coming in from the Atlantic and the news feeds are full of drama about their potential destructive behavior.

Towards evening went to the leasing office and gave the one month notice. ahhhh

Oct 25 2012, Notice

Thursday, Oct 25 2012

As expected got the dreaded Notice of 5 weeks.
Well like everything that you come across face to face, even thou you been thru it before and are expecting it. It fuels the lousy feelings more than its already been experienced when its just all in your mind.
The material impact sure is a fuel as its coming with your other senses getting to experience it and then it comes to hit you with a D-Date.

What exactly is causing me to think of it and dreading it, what is it that I am fearing?

As much as I like to claim, there is a huge part of me thats not willing to do minimum wages jobs. I want to work smarter and contribute to the development of self and my surrounding better with what I believe to be my skills, suited for jobs in the industry. Something that would give me a feeling of self recognization and also gives me enough confidence to hold my head up high and not be belittled by snobs and other ego maniacs. Something that would make the people who I love and who love me, look up with pride and feelings of great  achievement in my actions and been associated to me.

It is ofcouse with pride everyone talks about the ones we are related to when we hear of their accomplishments. And in many a cases do not want to talk about relatives who have not done good to the society at large.

Its just like every human, that I want to be liked by people.
Been liked and loved has it own wonderful feeling.

Kind of reminded of the lil babies and dogs loving me of showing actions of liking me with out even a word been spoken.
ITs like the theory of we all been masses of energy, sending of vibrations and frequencies of goodness or not so good. And then suddenly when we meet people who match our frequency there is the