Tuesday, May 27 2014
Got to work after the long weekend.
kind of lethargic, got call that my house hold stuff will be delivered today.
so got off work around 3:45 and the delivery guys come around 6..
well atleast this time things dont seem damaged much.. set up the TV now my place looks like a TV shop.
missing the sweetness of M and the so down to earth persona.
well I guess I am not worthy of deserving something as good as that.
feelings waves of depression ,,,
walked over to walmat and in the macdonalds got a fish o fillet and a junk burger...
thou I have food at home, do not feel like eating it... guess its the crash time after the high on adrenaline.
IT was funny to see M dance and perform, she seems to be dancing in her own sweet world at her own pace and rhythm. totally an energy out of sync with the others. explains a lot about her self... a bit like Ev.. self absorbed.... but then not as angry but a more gentle self lower energy... which is begging to be guided. Felt that when I tried the finger dance with her..... her whole personalty changed into ecstasy....
She is not a performer,, but she seems to like the attention she is getting there.
Can't help but love her ,,,,
ahhh why this one sided torture.....
and why is it that I attract people that I am not interested in .. why are the ones I am interested in not interested in me.
What if there is something there that I would not like to see in a life partner.. drugs!? atleast she did admit it. Is she taking any now? not sure, she sure as hell is very secretive about what she is upto late weekend nights... did not seem comfortable to share,, seemed uncomfortable..... like it bothered her telling me that piece of information. and she was out way into late night.. wonder what her life is like....
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