Friday, Sep 16, 2011
Woke up early all upbeat and now I am having this strong urge to say I LOVE YOU to someone......
Filled with feelings of love and happiness, just want to share and shower someone with those overflowing feelings.
Like one of my friends said, you are a very loving person and have a lot of love to give. Much more than anyone can understand.
Heart is pounding and my smile is from ear to ear...
Around afternoon went to the doc, what I feared was laid to rest with the doc assuring that the possibility is less.
But he had me go for an X-ray and will let the doc know about it.
have to schedule an appointment with the next specialist doc that he recommended for that. who will only be open on monday.
Got home and got the call I dreaded from the company, that I have been given 5 weeks notice. thou I was expecting this, was feeling really shocked and thinking about what next. The job market looks so depressing and now living in a foreign country feels even worse. For I have to get out of here. Cannot move with all my stuff as it would cost me close to $6000 to move back to Canada.
worst case have to dump everything here, junk it and make the move.
What next is such a troubling thought.
Ahhh such a sick feeling of beaten down again.
With multitudes of questions racing around in my head and guts feeling as thou someone punched me.
Got to get out of this rut.. ahhhh
was sad to read besus mail on how her ex was out dating with in a couple of weeks and she wanted to know if this was how guys thought.. well as far as my exp goes even my ex did that and even more she did that and was doing that when she was acting as thou she was with me and still loved me and was already setting up another and with in a week of landing in india was all over him and when that guy backed down she jumped on another guy..... it was so sick knowing that side of her value less degenerative character. Guess it is now I understand the way selfish people behave. These can be men or women. Feel so sad for her.
ahhh got to get out of this feeling. want to go and watch a movie or something. As there is no hiking this weekend and don't feel like going for salsa either.
Maybe go to temple and pray. ahhhh so fucked up direction less life. A pawn of greater forces ruling and controlling the universe. As human we time and again tend to think that we are great when some of our aspiration are realized and then think that we are invisible. But the truth is that we got something not because we achieved it, but because the powers of the universe having its own master plan allowed us to think that we need something and allowed us to get it.
So what is the master plan that the universe has for me???
No comments:
Post a Comment