Saturday, Sep 17 2011
Woke up with the intention of getting my life organized, throwing out the junk stuff. Called up home and talked with parents. Dad was not well and mom was getting concerned about his health. Even I have a uneasy feeling about him and his health.
I wanted to do so many things for them, but my own lack of discipline and focus is causing my problems to compound and not able to reach my wonderful state of abundance.
maybe go to the temple in the afternoon and gain some focus and faith.
Got call from Nar, great news of him having brought the 5 bed room house. Wow so good for him and his moms here too for the great auspicious occasion. So happy for him, got his Green card and now a house. He thoroughly deserves it and he worked really hard for it and went thru so many falls and never gave up.
Compared to him, I think I had it very easy. Or not compared to some situations I had to go thru. Guess my time will come too. Wish I could treat my parents to something wonderful. They so deserve it. Atleast wanted to take them to The Taj mahal and maybe to one foreign country, like singapore or middle east or to England or some country in Europe.
All these costs money and continuous income which means job. OR winning a multi-million dollar lottery or contest.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Sep 16 2011, Friday, I LUV U.
Friday, Sep 16, 2011
Woke up early all upbeat and now I am having this strong urge to say I LOVE YOU to someone......
Filled with feelings of love and happiness, just want to share and shower someone with those overflowing feelings.
Like one of my friends said, you are a very loving person and have a lot of love to give. Much more than anyone can understand.
Heart is pounding and my smile is from ear to ear...
Around afternoon went to the doc, what I feared was laid to rest with the doc assuring that the possibility is less.
But he had me go for an X-ray and will let the doc know about it.
have to schedule an appointment with the next specialist doc that he recommended for that. who will only be open on monday.
Got home and got the call I dreaded from the company, that I have been given 5 weeks notice. thou I was expecting this, was feeling really shocked and thinking about what next. The job market looks so depressing and now living in a foreign country feels even worse. For I have to get out of here. Cannot move with all my stuff as it would cost me close to $6000 to move back to Canada.
worst case have to dump everything here, junk it and make the move.
What next is such a troubling thought.
Ahhh such a sick feeling of beaten down again.
With multitudes of questions racing around in my head and guts feeling as thou someone punched me.
Got to get out of this rut.. ahhhh
was sad to read besus mail on how her ex was out dating with in a couple of weeks and she wanted to know if this was how guys thought.. well as far as my exp goes even my ex did that and even more she did that and was doing that when she was acting as thou she was with me and still loved me and was already setting up another and with in a week of landing in india was all over him and when that guy backed down she jumped on another guy..... it was so sick knowing that side of her value less degenerative character. Guess it is now I understand the way selfish people behave. These can be men or women. Feel so sad for her.
ahhh got to get out of this feeling. want to go and watch a movie or something. As there is no hiking this weekend and don't feel like going for salsa either.
Maybe go to temple and pray. ahhhh so fucked up direction less life. A pawn of greater forces ruling and controlling the universe. As human we time and again tend to think that we are great when some of our aspiration are realized and then think that we are invisible. But the truth is that we got something not because we achieved it, but because the powers of the universe having its own master plan allowed us to think that we need something and allowed us to get it.
So what is the master plan that the universe has for me???
Woke up early all upbeat and now I am having this strong urge to say I LOVE YOU to someone......
Filled with feelings of love and happiness, just want to share and shower someone with those overflowing feelings.
Like one of my friends said, you are a very loving person and have a lot of love to give. Much more than anyone can understand.
Heart is pounding and my smile is from ear to ear...
Around afternoon went to the doc, what I feared was laid to rest with the doc assuring that the possibility is less.
But he had me go for an X-ray and will let the doc know about it.
have to schedule an appointment with the next specialist doc that he recommended for that. who will only be open on monday.
Got home and got the call I dreaded from the company, that I have been given 5 weeks notice. thou I was expecting this, was feeling really shocked and thinking about what next. The job market looks so depressing and now living in a foreign country feels even worse. For I have to get out of here. Cannot move with all my stuff as it would cost me close to $6000 to move back to Canada.
worst case have to dump everything here, junk it and make the move.
What next is such a troubling thought.
Ahhh such a sick feeling of beaten down again.
With multitudes of questions racing around in my head and guts feeling as thou someone punched me.
Got to get out of this rut.. ahhhh
was sad to read besus mail on how her ex was out dating with in a couple of weeks and she wanted to know if this was how guys thought.. well as far as my exp goes even my ex did that and even more she did that and was doing that when she was acting as thou she was with me and still loved me and was already setting up another and with in a week of landing in india was all over him and when that guy backed down she jumped on another guy..... it was so sick knowing that side of her value less degenerative character. Guess it is now I understand the way selfish people behave. These can be men or women. Feel so sad for her.
ahhh got to get out of this feeling. want to go and watch a movie or something. As there is no hiking this weekend and don't feel like going for salsa either.
Maybe go to temple and pray. ahhhh so fucked up direction less life. A pawn of greater forces ruling and controlling the universe. As human we time and again tend to think that we are great when some of our aspiration are realized and then think that we are invisible. But the truth is that we got something not because we achieved it, but because the powers of the universe having its own master plan allowed us to think that we need something and allowed us to get it.
So what is the master plan that the universe has for me???
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Sep 14 2011 Wed,,,, yeaaa interview atlast
Wed Sep 14 2011
got an potential interview atlast , job in west coast. Too costly, meaning for the same salary, I have to spend more, about $1000 per month more on rent and then 20% hike in income taxes.... awwww not fair, but its better than nothing and ending up on the streets or ending up working for min wages in canada.
ahhhh lousy interview... guess not a match to the requirements... :(((((
got an potential interview atlast , job in west coast. Too costly, meaning for the same salary, I have to spend more, about $1000 per month more on rent and then 20% hike in income taxes.... awwww not fair, but its better than nothing and ending up on the streets or ending up working for min wages in canada.
ahhhh lousy interview... guess not a match to the requirements... :(((((
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Sep 13 2011 Tuesday
Tuesday, Sep 13 2011
Got call from bos about possible open in San Francisco.... got to see if that works out
Had a great cumbia with a tall girl yesterday, blew her mind off, she came back again to thank me..... woo hooo.. :)
Had seen jord on friday night and it was a funny encounter, I was at the street corner answering a call from bach about some doubt he had for an interview and that jack arse lied to me about the client,, well he is a brahamin, given to a DNA of selfishness and crookedness. Anyways getting to the point, she got out of the taxi with her friend, looked at me. A fleeting moment of "i know that guy". Then we both looked away. A few secs latter she was across the street, her friend talking with a couple of guys and she was staring at me, either she was wondering who I was or might remember the great Merengue we had together. Gosh she is so beautiful and natural. No wonder she had so many guys chasing her and wanting to dance with her and I had written her off as never going to ask to dance.
Was thinking about relationship and partnerships and the way my mind thinks and its attraction.
Natures Laws of relationship : Basically there are two categories
a) Caring and Giving (ME LAST -> ML)
b) Selfish and Self-centered (ME FIRST -> MF)
They attract each other. The ML's tend to attract the MF's and vice-verse. Rarely are the ML's attracting other ML's and for sure the MF's cannot stand each other.
They keep calling each other "Selfish".
Relationships and partnerships are all about "US" and not about "I". When the "I" starts taking over, the rest of "US" ending up becoming very hurt, unhappy, sad and frustrated.
Its great been the person who is giving, sacrificing and protecting, but then the problem starts when the other starts taking things for granted, rather wants more and not interested in giving back anything.....
its torture for the giver, causes wounds that god knows how long it would take to heal.
While the Selfish person would just easily (with no sense of consciousnesses) move on to another person who is a giver and start their cycle of exploitation.
Got call from bos about possible open in San Francisco.... got to see if that works out
Had a great cumbia with a tall girl yesterday, blew her mind off, she came back again to thank me..... woo hooo.. :)
Had seen jord on friday night and it was a funny encounter, I was at the street corner answering a call from bach about some doubt he had for an interview and that jack arse lied to me about the client,, well he is a brahamin, given to a DNA of selfishness and crookedness. Anyways getting to the point, she got out of the taxi with her friend, looked at me. A fleeting moment of "i know that guy". Then we both looked away. A few secs latter she was across the street, her friend talking with a couple of guys and she was staring at me, either she was wondering who I was or might remember the great Merengue we had together. Gosh she is so beautiful and natural. No wonder she had so many guys chasing her and wanting to dance with her and I had written her off as never going to ask to dance.
Was thinking about relationship and partnerships and the way my mind thinks and its attraction.
Natures Laws of relationship : Basically there are two categories
a) Caring and Giving (ME LAST -> ML)
b) Selfish and Self-centered (ME FIRST -> MF)
They attract each other. The ML's tend to attract the MF's and vice-verse. Rarely are the ML's attracting other ML's and for sure the MF's cannot stand each other.
They keep calling each other "Selfish".
Relationships and partnerships are all about "US" and not about "I". When the "I" starts taking over, the rest of "US" ending up becoming very hurt, unhappy, sad and frustrated.
Its great been the person who is giving, sacrificing and protecting, but then the problem starts when the other starts taking things for granted, rather wants more and not interested in giving back anything.....
its torture for the giver, causes wounds that god knows how long it would take to heal.
While the Selfish person would just easily (with no sense of consciousnesses) move on to another person who is a giver and start their cycle of exploitation.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Sep 12 2011 Monday, debate
Monday, Sep 12 2011, full moon.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-LhnzszFOw
VV: Terrorism ,,,, who are the biggest Terrorist,,,,, hmmm let me try,, approx 200 years ago,,,, who were the ones manufacturing Opium with huge factories in Calcutta and flooding China? ( google -> opium wars). who were the once using terror to suppress the poorer nations???....
hahaha I feel it funny that most white folks in the Americas claim it to be their right to be here, little realizing that they are here as the result of the European invasion of Native American land (after having terrorized (after having terrorized them with guns and spreading chicken pox) and then blame and paint the natives as been evil and bad people......
the list goes on and if you are fair minded or have the ability to think fairly research... to me its history repeating itself again in the middle east with the majority white population attacking other countries and sovereignty for monetary gains,, and if the argument is about freeing and protecting other countries people ,,,
then why have you not done that to the Tibetans?
why have you not done anything there????
are they not worth protecting?
ooopsss there is no known oil fields there.
TF : & how about what was done to the Scotts and Irish? Maybe we could discuss Latin America as well. In relation to some of these, the holocaust begins to look like like a weekend tryst. I find I amazing what we are able to rationalize, as individuals, and as societies. Bizare when the thug claims to be the victim. It reminds me of http://www.lucifereffect.com/ Where good people will inflict very unjust behavior on others. Thanks for the post.
VV : yep,,, the holocaust seems not so high up when compared to the atrocities that were committed. The British and others been victors after WW2 were in a position to deflect the attention on Hitler and his atrocities and there by burying their own legacy of cruel deeds.
I wonder what would have happened if Hitler would have won, he would probably have undertaken a similar publicity campaign to show the Allied forces as Evil and Cruel people and would have painted himself as the savior of the new world order. ;)
Greed and War only causes an never ending cycle of destruction. One of the oldest Corporate models was/is the British East India Company. I find that many big corporates are doing that today under various pretext's.
Governments are overthrown with the help of military might, while the people serving in the military are made to think that they are fighting for their FREEDOM and brain washed into thinking that they are doing it for the greater good.
Yep for the greater good and benefit of the Richy-rich and their kids and generations to follow.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-LhnzszFOw
VV: Terrorism ,,,, who are the biggest Terrorist,,,,, hmmm let me try,, approx 200 years ago,,,, who were the ones manufacturing Opium with huge factories in Calcutta and flooding China? ( google -> opium wars). who were the once using terror to suppress the poorer nations???....
hahaha I feel it funny that most white folks in the Americas claim it to be their right to be here, little realizing that they are here as the result of the European invasion of Native American land (after having terrorized (after having terrorized them with guns and spreading chicken pox) and then blame and paint the natives as been evil and bad people......
the list goes on and if you are fair minded or have the ability to think fairly research... to me its history repeating itself again in the middle east with the majority white population attacking other countries and sovereignty for monetary gains,, and if the argument is about freeing and protecting other countries people ,,,
then why have you not done that to the Tibetans?
why have you not done anything there????
are they not worth protecting?
ooopsss there is no known oil fields there.
TF : & how about what was done to the Scotts and Irish? Maybe we could discuss Latin America as well. In relation to some of these, the holocaust begins to look like like a weekend tryst. I find I amazing what we are able to rationalize, as individuals, and as societies. Bizare when the thug claims to be the victim. It reminds me of http://www.lucifereffect.com/ Where good people will inflict very unjust behavior on others. Thanks for the post.
VV : yep,,, the holocaust seems not so high up when compared to the atrocities that were committed. The British and others been victors after WW2 were in a position to deflect the attention on Hitler and his atrocities and there by burying their own legacy of cruel deeds.
I wonder what would have happened if Hitler would have won, he would probably have undertaken a similar publicity campaign to show the Allied forces as Evil and Cruel people and would have painted himself as the savior of the new world order. ;)
Greed and War only causes an never ending cycle of destruction. One of the oldest Corporate models was/is the British East India Company. I find that many big corporates are doing that today under various pretext's.
Governments are overthrown with the help of military might, while the people serving in the military are made to think that they are fighting for their FREEDOM and brain washed into thinking that they are doing it for the greater good.
Yep for the greater good and benefit of the Richy-rich and their kids and generations to follow.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Sep 11 2011 Sunday, 10 years after
Sunday, Sep 11 2011 , 10 years after the huge change brought about in the world.
hiking in ft wash.. flood waters.
For all the selfish and self centered women :
Most women are crazy like this, selfish and unappreciative of good men who are nice, caring and protective :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U93BBNq5A64
Sep 10, sat, jud and angle
hiking in heniz park, flood waters
Sep 9 fri, brsil, salsa, not a great night.
hiking in ft wash.. flood waters.
For all the selfish and self centered women :
Most women are crazy like this, selfish and unappreciative of good men who are nice, caring and protective :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U93BBNq5A64
Sep 10, sat, jud and angle
hiking in heniz park, flood waters
Sep 9 fri, brsil, salsa, not a great night.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Sep 09 2011 Friday. THIRU-ONAM
Friday, Sep 09 2011 Thiru-Onam ,,,,,, eaaaaa
Feels nice to be celebrating Onam again. Cook, cook and cook more and enjoy the ambiance. Yesterday Obama made a good speech, now waiting to see how the market will react, the asian and european market seems to have tanked down ahead of g7.
Next week may reveal a lot more about the direction the economy would go.
Sunday is also the 10th annivarsary of 9/11 and again news of possible threats.... ahhh why. What wrong with people. Why do they want to keep destroying things. Why cannot they take pleasure in constructing, creating, making things. Do something productive instead of destruction.
Were these people who grew up with out toys when they were kids?
When growing up kids end up breaking their toys and then end up hurt and sad and regretting and missing the toy they love. That way they learn the hard way that destruction hurts. And growing up, they learn a better appreciation and sentiment for things and not wanting to break or destroy.
And when as kids if they grow up with out toys, they end up not learning how destruction hurts.... my lil theory on growing up
ok,,, early morning, time to get celebrating and cooking. kappa, Avial (mixed veggies), beetroot fried in coconut... yummmm and not to miss out on the chicken curry and salmon curry and sambar ... | I already have 3 curries, 3 more to go..... best Onam ever.
Was inspired by Venk on focusing and doing some studying...... have to try and focus there and improve my self to be able to compete in the market.
Starting the day with Garlic toast and Hot Ginger Tea, yummm
Feels nice to be celebrating Onam again. Cook, cook and cook more and enjoy the ambiance. Yesterday Obama made a good speech, now waiting to see how the market will react, the asian and european market seems to have tanked down ahead of g7.
Next week may reveal a lot more about the direction the economy would go.
Sunday is also the 10th annivarsary of 9/11 and again news of possible threats.... ahhh why. What wrong with people. Why do they want to keep destroying things. Why cannot they take pleasure in constructing, creating, making things. Do something productive instead of destruction.
Were these people who grew up with out toys when they were kids?
When growing up kids end up breaking their toys and then end up hurt and sad and regretting and missing the toy they love. That way they learn the hard way that destruction hurts. And growing up, they learn a better appreciation and sentiment for things and not wanting to break or destroy.
And when as kids if they grow up with out toys, they end up not learning how destruction hurts.... my lil theory on growing up
ok,,, early morning, time to get celebrating and cooking. kappa, Avial (mixed veggies), beetroot fried in coconut... yummmm and not to miss out on the chicken curry and salmon curry and sambar ... | I already have 3 curries, 3 more to go..... best Onam ever.
Was inspired by Venk on focusing and doing some studying...... have to try and focus there and improve my self to be able to compete in the market.
Starting the day with Garlic toast and Hot Ginger Tea, yummm
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