May 29 2013 Wednesday, speech no 2 down

Wednesday, May 29 2013.....


2nd Speech at Toast masters down.... Phew,,, nerve wracking last speech... but was able to deliver the speech, that I was trying to find words to make it a 5-7 min speech I was only able add a bit to around 5pm ,, had no time to practice and prepare,, was thinking of delivering it at the next secession... 
but..., went to the event at 6:45 pm and gave my speech around 8:30pm..... thanks to the encouragement of a few fellow toast masters,,, 
Phew !,,, I even forgot the names of some of the people I knew well.....Good god, how is it that some people are able to deliver speeches in such a cool, collected manner and why is it that I am such a wreck.... 

But for an impromptu speech,, it seemed a great thing to have been able to speak for 6mins and 40 secs... how the hell did I have so much to talk about,, what did I really talk,, I was so nervous and lost,, I do not even remember what exactly I spoke, just that it got the people laughing and discussing about the topic for about 30 mins after that.....
 — feeling wonderful

When one opens up to learning a New LANGUAGE, one opens up to learning a whole New CULTURE.
So the amazing discovery starts into the world of sounds, words, multiple interpretations of words, cultural comparisons ......and above all a better understanding of the world around us. With a higher probability of it leading to stronger friendships and tolerance between people.
So cheers to learning new languages and opening up our mind(S)

May-28-2013 Tuesday, Energy

May-28-2013 Tuesday, Energy

Energy is neither created nor destroyed, its just converted from one form to another. 

When one really falls in love, one falls in love with the Energy/Vibrations of the other person. All other things, the bling, the glitter, the show,,,,,, does not last long. Because of the mis-match of energy, there is bound to be un-happiness.
Energy is neither created nor destroyed, its just converted from one form to another. Many a times we have the power to choose what we convert the energy we are born with so cheers to finding that harmonious matching energy.

finding the harmonious matching energy plays a part in what we choose to be dazzled by.

during the course of our life we all get attracted to people who seem to have a ton of energy in the things they do. Most of the times we end up falling and having a crush on people who seem to speak with a higher energy, kind of feel inspired by their talk or something that they do.
I see many people seem to fall for singers  and a few inspiring speakers. Singers the most...

It was natural that even I ended up having a crush on someone who I just saw give a very energetic speech. Was communicating with a very experienced friend who was into toastmasters and he said that its a normal thing. And that there will be other people who would be having a crush on you for the speech you give.
And give a speech I did , for the first time in my life.
Was impressed with myself and flattered by the feed back and review I got back for it.

A whole speech of about 6 mins and people choose to remember many things, but the one that stood out was also the one that I am comfortable with and doing. Because I guess when the happiness energy came out, they all felt it and I guess it caught their attention, dazzled them and in a way it inspired them.

So heres to spreading happiness and inspiring people around me.

It was a long Memorial day weekend in the US.
had gone out dancing on firday night. Confused a bit by the actions and words of Cdy. I have been going there for about 6 months now and suddenly since the past 3 weekends she keeps saying how good I am ... then was also surprised to hear her say that she hates guys and she just leads them on and that men just think with their dicks... hmm interesting to hear that.
So now I almost asked her, are you just leading me on?

She seems to be aware of how she tends to lead during dancing and that since I control her, she liked it and dancing with me.
So full of contradictions.

I was not really enjoying dancing with her as I end up spending my rythem and focus on trying to keep her in line and not ending up hurting the others dancing.

If only she knew to control her self and follow . Its partner dancing, just like in a relationship, there is a lead and there is a follow. there cannot be multiple leaders, thats where there is dis-harmony and un-happiness.
Just like in partner dancing, there are roles one plays in relationship. And one is also blessed with certain body parts and physical capabilities that the other does not have to complete the requirements so the relationship could flourish.

But if someone in the relationship tends to try and get into the role of the other,, just like in everything in the world, there is dis-harmony and resulting chaos.

Hopefully people will be more aware and accepting of the roles they need to play and not play and work on making their relationship better and harminous.

May 20-2013 Love

Monday May 20 2013

Coming out of a depressing and low energy weekend.
Thou relatively peaceful, there is this lurking feeling of uneasiness.

Then today cheered myself up, thinking about love and having had the fortune to know and realise that there is someone there who loves me. Who maybe in a peculiar situation, for having made certain decisions based on what , where and other ciricumsatances. But yet feels a bit better to know that hidden (maybe forbidden) connection. Like a secret love that only we both could understand and comperhend.
Others probably do feel that tension of pull and push, yet it feels nice to know and comforting to feel that sincere love and see it in the eyes and espressions.

April 22 2013 , Nightmares leading into first speech.

Monday, April 22 2013.

Had nightmares during weekend, was centered about my first speech to be done on wednesday.
woke up to the horros of some ladies shouting at me during my speech. woke up with a week knee. Been thinking about it and going thru the horrific feeling of stage freight again.

April 10, day of presentations... still nervous and stammering when presenting.

Wednesday, Apr 10

A beautiful day, sun shinning at its brightest after a very long time,
 new years eve for Telugu and kannada people.

day of presentations for me... still nervous and stammering when presenting. jitters and heart rate racing.

just finished the smallest at work presentation , was stammering at places. :(

was working on my ice-breaker,
well they have hobby nite, today, so might try to show off my salsa.
its kind of giving me confidence to talk about something I think I maybe good at.

so my nervousness is thinking about situations that may not happen or when I am the least preparation and practice.

lets see how it works out tonite.. :) fingers crossed.

Apr 04 2013 , hyper active day, sudden burst of Suns energy

Thursday , Apr 04 2013 ,
A hyper active day, sudden burst of Suns energy.
Charged after having cooked my own food yesterday night . Also the early morning coffee helped to keep me hyper and motivated.

Apr 03 2013 Lost and feeling insecure.

Wednesday, Apr 03 2013

Been having a nagging feeling the past few days, something is off.
Getting all kinds of bad vibrations. Not feeling motivated to cook, clean, work out. Its like something is there bothering me, but revealing itself.

But today, after digging a bit, got to know that I am been given a low-blow by the company, not paying me what they should. It feels sick, that market conditions are so bad that I am now afraid to take the risk. And also that I am kind of not upto the job market skills that seems to change every other day.
Living me with no bargaining chip.

One thing for sure, this is all market dynamics and my own ability or lack there of to over come the hurdles.
But how?
the million dollar question.

Trying to prepare for my 1st speech... not as easy as I thought that it would be, even writing it up in sequence of presentation has been a task, that turned out to be harder than anticipated.