May 08 2014 - Movers

Thursday May 08 2014

The movers came in aorund 10 and left around 12.

had a weird night of waking up in night mares, thinking that I was missing the flight.


yesterday, mss butterfly smile came to my home.. in a weird twist of events and we had a very very brief talk, was nervous as hell and trying to play kool..

was intersting to see her at such close quarters, sweet, open, a very pleasent way of explaining things.

only bummer was the use of drugs,,,
does she want to use it in the future.

latte in the eveing went to salsa at fky budda.. met the tango gal elain and we went a restuaurant and sat down to talk.

butter fly gal wants to take me out for dinner tomorrow.


went out to OTR.... after driving around for a bit and watching the sun in the western horizon . had the rest of the pizza.. kind had a very very odd feeling of not been in a happy place of having things that I would like to have,,,,, love of a wonderful women.

went to on the rocks and got into the class for basics.

Then for some reason, connected with a hot lady,,, eye to eye,, who latter came over and asked me to dance...
it was a great odd kind of connection.. she said she would come and get me on the bachata and latter on she did ,, and boy of boy,, after a very very long time got to dance bachata in a very very sensual way.

Then the story of the butter fly gal... seems to be kind of weired...Felt as thou she was avoiding me. Well maybe my expectation were raised too high,, its her truf, and been one of the divas, was surely in demand ..

was disappointed when she said no to a merengue... something I wanted to test our connection on..

The salsa  on vivo,, was also a bit odd... with her focusing on her hand styling and her attention getting diverted towards people around.... well thats  the path of the performer,, not in the non-performer tub I am in that of trying to find connection between partners and not caring about the rest of the world... thou it would be flattering and in a different world of its own.

she seemed to be only dancing bachata with that one guy,, really felt pangs of jealousy.. but also felt that he did not care much about her.... she seems to be just another stepping stone for him..
and she seemed to be into him and looking for his approval.
well, well,,,,,, story of my love life,, always in love with someone who is really in love with someone else....

It was sweet of her to invite me for dinner in the morning.. but after the interaction tonite
 not sure where that stands..
Will she pull an selfish eva on me?
suddenly canceling with no regard to the others life and feelings?

If she does,, ,, then I need to go evaluate again why I am been drawn towards women like that, even after 5 years,, the same pattern? atleast in this case I would know what to happened historically.

Its heart,,,, wrenching, tingling to,, see someone you love and deam of them loving you... showing the same kind of loving , dotting love to someone else... and hurting more ,, when you see them treat you love like they are just stepping stone and don't care much for who seems to be the love of your life.