Tuesday, May 27 2014
Got to work after the long weekend.
kind of lethargic, got call that my house hold stuff will be delivered today.
so got off work around 3:45 and the delivery guys come around 6..
well atleast this time things dont seem damaged much.. set up the TV now my place looks like a TV shop.
missing the sweetness of M and the so down to earth persona.
well I guess I am not worthy of deserving something as good as that.
feelings waves of depression ,,,
walked over to walmat and in the macdonalds got a fish o fillet and a junk burger...
thou I have food at home, do not feel like eating it... guess its the crash time after the high on adrenaline.
IT was funny to see M dance and perform, she seems to be dancing in her own sweet world at her own pace and rhythm. totally an energy out of sync with the others. explains a lot about her self... a bit like Ev.. self absorbed.... but then not as angry but a more gentle self lower energy... which is begging to be guided. Felt that when I tried the finger dance with her..... her whole personalty changed into ecstasy....
She is not a performer,, but she seems to like the attention she is getting there.
Can't help but love her ,,,,
ahhh why this one sided torture.....
and why is it that I attract people that I am not interested in .. why are the ones I am interested in not interested in me.
What if there is something there that I would not like to see in a life partner.. drugs!? atleast she did admit it. Is she taking any now? not sure, she sure as hell is very secretive about what she is upto late weekend nights... did not seem comfortable to share,, seemed uncomfortable..... like it bothered her telling me that piece of information. and she was out way into late night.. wonder what her life is like....
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Monday, May 26, 2014
May 26 2014 Soul mate who is miles, years and phases apart.
Monday May 26 2014
It feels so heart breaking ...to know and realize the person you think is your soul mate and you are at different phases in life, miles apart, years apart ...
Only connection that now remains,,,, is the thin thread via facebook....
****************
Heres my interpretation..... :D
For guys,,,,, -> Forggys only win in stories and not in real life ;) hahaha as bad as it sounds... lets face reality.
It feels so heart breaking ...to know and realize the person you think is your soul mate and you are at different phases in life, miles apart, years apart ...
For some mysterious reason you end up getting a glimpse of her soul,,,,, paths crossing briefly, then are miles apart, just left with the feelings of having seen the doors of heaven and bliss.
You gradually realize that you met the one you have been searching for, in one moment of what felt like a light of enlightening revelation.
you with all of what seems to be the accumulation of all the years of ups and downs that did not make much sense try again and again to reason, pull away, get pulled back, pushed away.
But the feeling of having met the perfect other half of your soul just keeps getting more stronger and more clearer.
Even little piece of revelation of her life feels like it only made the initial il - logical feelings look like the "perfectly right gut instinct" of been attracted to the absolutely right soul.
The simplicity of living life happy with little,
Common threads of personal and professional grounds...
,,,, been natural, living natural, salsa, yoga, kick-boxing,
Soul mates often haunt common grounds...
,, miles apart, years apart and at different phases in life,,,,
that very path you had been walking on and had been thru
years before, you see your soul mate treading thru.
A huge part of you just wants to reach out and say,
I am with you and will be with you hence forth.
with confusing turbulence in your heart,
you reach out in ways that you could,
with no book or check list of do's and dont's,
friends trying to reason an unreasonable soul
a soul in the ecstasy of having met its only other.
foolishly trying to beat the advancing clock.
In desperation and fear of loosing the most important.
but then been at different phases in life,
the miles apart only makes her feel that we are different .....
Will there ever be the perfect meeting and union leading to the synchronous locking of souls and the resulting forever happiness.
Do I wait, live every moment in anticipation..... while other souls try to bite a piece of our perfect made for each other ,, will it be too late ...
or will it just be the criss cross of souls , never to meet again~!?
****************
Heres my interpretation..... :D
Short salsa story created on the fly, inspired by the cartoon by Chakri Gajula and comments made my Ella ;)..... [Thanks guys]
Once upon a time there was a beautiful Swan Ella and a dorky frog Vin. :)
The frogy asked Miss Swan to dance salsa,,,,, she laughed and said "no".
Poor frogy thought hmmm maybe I can impress her with a bachata.
So froggy waited and waited, practiced all his best moves over and over in his head...
And Bachata came, he went over and asked Swany for a dance..... she squinted and said "Nope"...
awww bummer.... Froggy thought, all is not lost, maybe I can impress her with a cha-cha-cha... maybe 3rd time lucky..
So froggy again waited.... went over the smooth moves and transitions over his head and had a cocky smile of satisfaction.
Came Cha-cha-cha... with a spring in his steps he went over to the pretty swan and asked "shall we dance?"... swanny rolled her eyes and said "Nah".
ahhhh man, Froggy thought,, that was my best move... oh well maybe the "Merengue", my last trick...
Came merengue..... forggy, jumped out of his sulky mood, twisted turned, ducked between bodies and like a jenie out of the bottle he was in front of her...
"MERENGUE?" he asked,
with his best imitation of a deep throated latin accent ....
with cold eyes, now melting with pity, she said "Maybe"......
And they dance happily ever after...
Moral of the story: never say "no" when asked for the first time by someone to dance, you never know what you are going to miss out on. :)
For guys,,,,, -> Forggys only win in stories and not in real life ;) hahaha as bad as it sounds... lets face reality.
Sunday, May 25, 2014
May 25 2014 Sunday soul mate!
Sunday May 25 2014
Its kind of strange that I feel I have met my soul mate. Starting with the first fatal attraction towards her smile. Then getting to know bits and pieces of her ,,,, felt like she is the one that I had been fantasizing about my whole life as my perfect mate..... and had the fortune of meeting in mysterious circumstances.
The little I got to know about her, was able to relate too,, the job after college... yoga, martial arts, salsa... no make up... just down to earth living the simple life.... how much more could I have asked for in a perfect soul mate!!???
Just two things that stood out as Red flags
1) her having done or doing drugs
2) refusing to dance with me the merengue. ....
3) probably not been honest about having got back with her boyfriend
why is the universe showing me someone who meets all the criteria of a soul mate and then not letting us unite!?
Feels like a cruel joke.
Just feel that she is at a very different stage in her life of evolving...
going thru what seems to be the same path that you had been thru.... and your heart and soul feels like reaching out and saying... here baby, let me hold you and lets pass thru this together as soul mates are supposed too.
**********************
*-***********************
Its kind of strange that I feel I have met my soul mate. Starting with the first fatal attraction towards her smile. Then getting to know bits and pieces of her ,,,, felt like she is the one that I had been fantasizing about my whole life as my perfect mate..... and had the fortune of meeting in mysterious circumstances.
The little I got to know about her, was able to relate too,, the job after college... yoga, martial arts, salsa... no make up... just down to earth living the simple life.... how much more could I have asked for in a perfect soul mate!!???
Just two things that stood out as Red flags
1) her having done or doing drugs
2) refusing to dance with me the merengue. ....
3) probably not been honest about having got back with her boyfriend
why is the universe showing me someone who meets all the criteria of a soul mate and then not letting us unite!?
Feels like a cruel joke.
Just feel that she is at a very different stage in her life of evolving...
going thru what seems to be the same path that you had been thru.... and your heart and soul feels like reaching out and saying... here baby, let me hold you and lets pass thru this together as soul mates are supposed too.
**********************
Hyderabadi Biriyani... for my Hyderabadi Soul
This kind of touched me..... in my case, I ended up first falling mysteriously for a beautiful smile [one sided] and then was able to forgive the past ones..... felt liberating to be able to let-go of the past hurt and the resulting feelings all cause I could feel the feelings of tender love from my heart again .... so for me it should read,,, when you fall in love ,,, you forgive the past....... or loving heart - > forgives
*****************
felt nice to have run on the thread yesterday... personal best time this year. .. not sure if its cause of running at lower altitude? but felt good and was able to sleep like a log.... well sleep is again all about mental peace brought about by a clear conscious and noble thoughts
*****************
Whenever you are lost, you will be found again.
Lost cannot exist without found. Your heart is not stolen; it is guarded because it was hurt. It's worth opening it again and again to experience the whole gamut of life: the splendor of all the play of opposites with an underlying peace from the awareness of the part of you that has no opposites.
Lost cannot exist without found. Your heart is not stolen; it is guarded because it was hurt. It's worth opening it again and again to experience the whole gamut of life: the splendor of all the play of opposites with an underlying peace from the awareness of the part of you that has no opposites.
MAy 23 Friday
Bored and looking for inspiration !!!!! ... feeling home sick....
So end up watching a movie based on the book written by my cousin.. story based in the lil village of mine ,,,, Mahe, India
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rAVwDCObzQ
Very interesting to hear some of the characters speak in the dialect spoken in my village... ... missing the land of my ancestors... and all my dear cousins .... Atleast I got to see the coconut trees and the shores of Mahe... the waves tap dancing and creating their own music..... the birds singing "good morning ,, have a beautiful day" every morning....filled with mixed feelings of longing, happiness and sadness,..
++++++++++++
Volunteered, working in the kitchen of the hugging saint last year in Washington DC , met some amazingly down to earth people with amazing attitude and like minded philosophy towards living. Was inspired and motivated to know that there are people in this world who look beyond wealth, looks, material possessions and are focused on doing things for others.... in short-> giving their time and effort for a greater self less good.
Was a bit disappointed when moving away to Edmon...ton... but now fate has got me to LA right on time ....in 2 weeks I will probably be able to meet the same inspiring people (mostly from France and Austria) who can ALSO cook amazing Malu food... [would have married any of them in a heart beat.. hehehe]
[[[I am no fan of any god-man or god-woman],,,,, I just try to soak in the good positive feelings and vibrations of the sweet people who sincerely love to do greater good to others... ]]]
So end up watching a movie based on the book written by my cousin.. story based in the lil village of mine ,,,, Mahe, India
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rAVwDCObzQ
Very interesting to hear some of the characters speak in the dialect spoken in my village... ... missing the land of my ancestors... and all my dear cousins .... Atleast I got to see the coconut trees and the shores of Mahe... the waves tap dancing and creating their own music..... the birds singing "good morning ,, have a beautiful day" every morning....filled with mixed feelings of longing, happiness and sadness,..
++++++++++++
Volunteered, working in the kitchen of the hugging saint last year in Washington DC , met some amazingly down to earth people with amazing attitude and like minded philosophy towards living. Was inspired and motivated to know that there are people in this world who look beyond wealth, looks, material possessions and are focused on doing things for others.... in short-> giving their time and effort for a greater self less good.
Was a bit disappointed when moving away to Edmon...ton... but now fate has got me to LA right on time ....in 2 weeks I will probably be able to meet the same inspiring people (mostly from France and Austria) who can ALSO cook amazing Malu food... [would have married any of them in a heart beat.. hehehe]
[[[I am no fan of any god-man or god-woman],,,,, I just try to soak in the good positive feelings and vibrations of the sweet people who sincerely love to do greater good to others... ]]]
I am still trying to figure out why powerful congress people are moved to tears cause of her hug,, ?????
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znRKoXmsfGM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znRKoXmsfGM
*-***********************
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
May 20, Mirage
Tuesday,, May 20 2014
Was at pi ne waiting for my partner of 10 years to come by... but then it turned out into a head fake.
feeling a bit low,,
got talking with cman.. went for a walk around the beach front.
got back and fell asleep.
Was at pi ne waiting for my partner of 10 years to come by... but then it turned out into a head fake.
feeling a bit low,,
got talking with cman.. went for a walk around the beach front.
got back and fell asleep.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
May 19 , sucky monday
Monday, May 19
las palabras de amor son siempre las mismas: toman el sabor de los labios que las pronuncian - g. de maupassant
the words of love are always the same: take the taste of your lips which pronounced them - g. de maupassant
Commented about how maupassant was one of fav authors... and it kind of got a reaction.... asking me not to msg.
Only a heart thats honest and open to receiving love will be understanding towards the love flowing towards it :).....
Kind of feels sucky that she deleted my comment about maup been one of my fav authors.
Got out to pc h for some salsa.. baby.. not much of energy left after running.
Sunday was a great day, went to St monica... was flattered by the attention from a few ... one who was so impressed that she asked to dance again. and again and had a great close connecting bachata... wonder if I will ever meet her again.
Got out to pc h for some salsa.. baby.. not much of energy left after running.
Sunday was a great day, went to St monica... was flattered by the attention from a few ... one who was so impressed that she asked to dance again. and again and had a great close connecting bachata... wonder if I will ever meet her again.
Saturday, May 17, 2014
May -17 2014 long weekend in Canada and my first weekend at home
Saturday May 17 2014
ITs a long weekend in Canada and woke up with some sweet loving thoughts of the one and only..
so sent out this thoughts from my heart...
"I hope no matter what, that you never have to fake, pretend or force yourself to love someone. Always stay true to yourself, your true feelings, be sincere and honest like I believe you always are"....
I think ,,,, thats not what my idea of love is about,, you cannot fake love,,, it has to happen in its own way and its own sweet time,, that is ,,,if there is something there...... I also admire her for the fact that she is not faking it or pretending anything thats not there or trying to force something like that.... if she did, I would be disappointed.
She did not force me or get to me by something she went about doing.... it just happened....I felt her energy,,,,fell for it... and the things I got to know about her,, proved to me that it is towards someone who really deserves to be loved unconditionally.... and I am thankful that she inspired me in a way no one has after a very very long time ... thats nature at work...
hahahahaha
Daivathinte Vikruthikal (loosely translated Gods Mischief ,, not close to the translation in wikipedia) , Award winning novel written by my moms cousin M. Mukundan, story based in the native land of my ancestors Mahe, India,.. Malayalam movie with the same name : which also won the film award for Best story for that state 1992
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daivathinte_Vikrithikal
I was just thinking about the way the universe twists and turns my life around and was thinking about the word gods mischief... and was reminded of the novel ... I never read but heard....
hahahaha.. wiki describes my place,, as a ""little village, Mahe,"" hmmm ,, guess it is,,, the author married my moms (his cousins) class mate.. A place so small that almost every one is related to each other in some way thru marriage
If I ever become a writer, I hope I write about happiness and love..... no, do not want to be contributing to the misery of focusing on pain and negativity... (thou that seems to see popularly).
I try, I try and I try,,,
...... Then there comes a time, I have to say
bye, bye, bye.... ....
well there is so much a person can Try.....
after that self-respect kicks in.
*****************
went to costco with anub, his wife and kid....
very interesting couple dynamics.
ITs a long weekend in Canada and woke up with some sweet loving thoughts of the one and only..
so sent out this thoughts from my heart...
Mmmmm Wishing you a very wonderful Long weekend.... cheers,
What are you upto ? ,, hmm knowing you,, I guess it would be back to back action packed..
hope you take some time in between all your hectic "to do" to step back and let your body and mind tissues catch up (don't burn out the old ones too soon.. it takes 7 years for the whole transformation,, I remember your words)...
Anways was thinking about you and wanted to just share these words with you...
"I hope no matter what, that you never have to fake, pretend or force yourself to love someone".....
Have a lovely time spreading the gift of your adorably, lovely-energy filled, butter fly smile, to all those lucky people around you and making the world a better place.. cheers and loads of luv
one of your many adoring fans
"I hope no matter what, that you never have to fake, pretend or force yourself to love someone. Always stay true to yourself, your true feelings, be sincere and honest like I believe you always are"....
I think ,,,, thats not what my idea of love is about,, you cannot fake love,,, it has to happen in its own way and its own sweet time,, that is ,,,if there is something there...... I also admire her for the fact that she is not faking it or pretending anything thats not there or trying to force something like that.... if she did, I would be disappointed.
She did not force me or get to me by something she went about doing.... it just happened....I felt her energy,,,,fell for it... and the things I got to know about her,, proved to me that it is towards someone who really deserves to be loved unconditionally.... and I am thankful that she inspired me in a way no one has after a very very long time ... thats nature at work...
hahahahaha
Daivathinte Vikruthikal (loosely translated Gods Mischief ,, not close to the translation in wikipedia) , Award winning novel written by my moms cousin M. Mukundan, story based in the native land of my ancestors Mahe, India,.. Malayalam movie with the same name : which also won the film award for Best story for that state 1992
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daivathinte_Vikrithikal
I was just thinking about the way the universe twists and turns my life around and was thinking about the word gods mischief... and was reminded of the novel ... I never read but heard....
hahahaha.. wiki describes my place,, as a ""little village, Mahe,"" hmmm ,, guess it is,,, the author married my moms (his cousins) class mate.. A place so small that almost every one is related to each other in some way thru marriage
If I ever become a writer, I hope I write about happiness and love..... no, do not want to be contributing to the misery of focusing on pain and negativity... (thou that seems to see popularly).
I try, I try and I try,,,
...... Then there comes a time, I have to say
bye, bye, bye.... ....
well there is so much a person can Try.....
after that self-respect kicks in.
*****************
went to costco with anub, his wife and kid....
very interesting couple dynamics.
May 16 2014 no heart no feel for music
Friday May 16 2014
Was thinking about people, their feel for music and heart
One of the easiest way to know if a person has heart and feel for music is to ask them about merengue..
If they say its boring, then they do not have basic feel for music. More than often they turn out to be people who are performers.. into 1,2 style 3,4 style 5,6 style.... they do not feel the depth and motivating power of music....
Was thinking about people, their feel for music and heart
One of the easiest way to know if a person has heart and feel for music is to ask them about merengue..
If they say its boring, then they do not have basic feel for music. More than often they turn out to be people who are performers.. into 1,2 style 3,4 style 5,6 style.... they do not feel the depth and motivating power of music....
Thursday, May 15, 2014
May 15 2014 hurt and confession
Thursday May 15 2014
Feeling low and lost.... whats happening there... seeing m online till late night into 2am.
Work it feels very out of place.. looks like will get sacked anytime.
*************
Nothing hurts more and feels helpless than to see the object of your affection lost and dotting on someone who does not even seem to care about her.....
oh for all that I am able to sense and feel so deeply about her, like sensing the soul of a soul mate, its weird how I am able to sense her and read her , if only she knew how deep.....
Can so clearly sense the turbulence ..... the denial .... the instinct to defensively divert focus and trying to keep occupied with more pleasant controllable activities, away from reality ....
Makes me believe in the supernatural ..... nature works by its own pattern and formulas..... like we are all pre-assigned roles and guided to do things. We like to think that it was all us and our great abilities that got us to where we are.
But in essence, it feels as thou it was pre-determined and we were fools and fooled into thinking that we are the ones controlling....
********
Confession time :
Last Wednesday, when I gave you my address, a part of me was thinking, oh god she is going to come down with her boyfriend and beat me up, or shoot me.
I thought, okay I have a clear view of who is going to come from the front of the building . So I might be safe.....
Then you called and said you were at the back of the building..... aaaaahhhh.. I thought ,, "thats it Vino, now you pay the price of been a Romeo:""!! (in indian movie style, the hero always gets beat up by the girls family hehehehe).
I thought about it and said to myself,,,,, ok if I am going to get beat up, so be it. At least I will be beaten up for doing something good with pure, true intentions. And that too by someone smile I adore....
Was so geared up for pain when I came down ,,, like a true martyr.. it felt like a scene from an Indian movie.... hahahahahaha... hope you are laughing at this foolish thoughts I am confessing too ;)
*************
Feeling low and lost.... whats happening there... seeing m online till late night into 2am.
Work it feels very out of place.. looks like will get sacked anytime.
*************
Nothing hurts more and feels helpless than to see the object of your affection lost and dotting on someone who does not even seem to care about her.....
oh for all that I am able to sense and feel so deeply about her, like sensing the soul of a soul mate, its weird how I am able to sense her and read her , if only she knew how deep.....
Can so clearly sense the turbulence ..... the denial .... the instinct to defensively divert focus and trying to keep occupied with more pleasant controllable activities, away from reality ....
Makes me believe in the supernatural ..... nature works by its own pattern and formulas..... like we are all pre-assigned roles and guided to do things. We like to think that it was all us and our great abilities that got us to where we are.
But in essence, it feels as thou it was pre-determined and we were fools and fooled into thinking that we are the ones controlling....
********
Confession time :
Last Wednesday, when I gave you my address, a part of me was thinking, oh god she is going to come down with her boyfriend and beat me up, or shoot me.
I thought, okay I have a clear view of who is going to come from the front of the building . So I might be safe.....
Then you called and said you were at the back of the building..... aaaaahhhh.. I thought ,, "thats it Vino, now you pay the price of been a Romeo:""!! (in indian movie style, the hero always gets beat up by the girls family hehehehe).
I thought about it and said to myself,,,,, ok if I am going to get beat up, so be it. At least I will be beaten up for doing something good with pure, true intentions. And that too by someone smile I adore....
Was so geared up for pain when I came down ,,, like a true martyr.. it felt like a scene from an Indian movie.... hahahahahaha... hope you are laughing at this foolish thoughts I am confessing too ;)
*************
I really wanted to ask you something... but I understand you are super super busy.. thats okay.. no pressure, just answer if you can.
When we danced.... I mean when I tried leading you with just the fingers,, what was it that you felt... ????
I remember that your face lite up, like someone just put rose water over you,, and the aura around you came to life.
But what did you feel and think? as opposed to your normal performance partner dancing and styling.... because with the finger touch dance,,,, you never have option for styling... u will be forced to stay focused on your partner and CONNECT, and would be communicating with your partner with the energy from your body connecting thru each others fingers,,, ... I did not realize that I was controlling energy untill one of the beginner girls elaine (adoring fan of yours in Etown) told me that she felt that I was able to control her energy,,,,,
if you have time to think about it, please do let me know.. what was it that you felt... ????
Peaceful and rejuvenating to be at home and spend time relaxing in the luxury of solitude and calmness
One develops inner strength by withdrawing deep with and taking time to reflect in the calmness of ones own breath......
the simple basics, the foundation, is where your true core is.
Peaceful and rejuvenating to be at home and spend time relaxing in the luxury of solitude and calmness
One develops inner strength by withdrawing deep with and taking time to reflect in the calmness of ones own breath......
the simple basics, the foundation, is where your true core is.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
May 14 2014... Happy Vino on a full moon night :)
Tuesday, May 14 2014.
Its all in our mind, Happiness, Love, Sadness, Hate..... all different versions of the same energy that we are born with and choose to convert into .... yes we have the choice, based on the capability of creative imagination.
So when you are in love, even in your own imagination or one sided...
let it be, because when you feel that love energy develop, its converting all other energies with in yourself into that wonderful loving energy. Which leads to greater good.
Issues tend to happen when you expect something back in return, maybe thats the reason some say,
Love is all about giving, with out expecting anything back in return. .. so cheers to the one love in my life,( in my imagination atleast) for helping me stay happy with her amazing sweetness, the worlds most Beautiful smile and inspiring kindness of action [thou I know so very little about her]
--> Guru Vino of the Vino Ashram of happiness (Vino) ....
Pharrell W song Happyiiieee https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6Sxv-sUYtM
Went for a run,,,,, felt a bit good running.. aching legs latter.. but good..
then to sevilla to dance some raunch hot bachata with a few.... who seemed to be too fast for my standards.
well atleast saw a few hook up and make out... wow..
and here I am lost in the imaginary love of someone who does not even care or know about me.
Its all in our mind, Happiness, Love, Sadness, Hate..... all different versions of the same energy that we are born with and choose to convert into .... yes we have the choice, based on the capability of creative imagination.
So when you are in love, even in your own imagination or one sided...
let it be, because when you feel that love energy develop, its converting all other energies with in yourself into that wonderful loving energy. Which leads to greater good.
Issues tend to happen when you expect something back in return, maybe thats the reason some say,
Love is all about giving, with out expecting anything back in return. .. so cheers to the one love in my life,( in my imagination atleast) for helping me stay happy with her amazing sweetness, the worlds most Beautiful smile and inspiring kindness of action [thou I know so very little about her]
--> Guru Vino of the Vino Ashram of happiness (Vino) ....
Pharrell W song Happyiiieee https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6Sxv-sUYtM
Went for a run,,,,, felt a bit good running.. aching legs latter.. but good..
then to sevilla to dance some raunch hot bachata with a few.... who seemed to be too fast for my standards.
well atleast saw a few hook up and make out... wow..
and here I am lost in the imaginary love of someone who does not even care or know about me.
May 13 2014 1st Run
Tuesday, May 13 2014
got back home around 5:30 along with Anubh.
was feeling flustered in love,,,, deeply unsure about whats going to happen.
So went for a run.. there seemed to be lots of people out fine dinning and dating by the beach.
My heart
For days they were Lost
For weeks they were crying,
For months they were locked
For years they were trapped.
Layers deep, did it dig deep and hide
Bring it out, Others tried
Afraid, scared, with memories of betrayal and hurt,
weeping away from the light
Suspicious of every touch, love or kind gesture
And just that smile from a beautiful angel,
melted the walls and barbed wires.
liberated the little baby butterflies
from cocoons of misery they were trapped in
... thank you , thank you, thank you my amazingly beautiful angel.
thank you for awakening my heart to the joys of infatuation, love and happiness.
Copy rights Vi V 2014
*********************************
" The Girl with the Butterfly Smile " [work in progress]
A smile so beautiful,,
that every time she smiled....
butterflies just fluttered and danced around in joy....
sunlight bounced of their wings
such that it made the northern lights look pale .....
The lights twisted, turned, bounced of the million soft wings in heavenly splendor...
Oh Girl with the Butter Fly Smile
you make me feel so Shy...
Dreams and thoughts I am filled with
that my eyes are always twinkling like stars
Your lovely round baby eyes
filled with gentle innocence just flushes my heart
little soft loli-pop hands
I held and danced to your sweetness. ,,, (ouch ET)
The touch of your Soft cheeks felt
soothing and nourishing to my torn soul.
oh! How i would love to kiss your lips and lovely cheeks
and love you as my love speaks
in the language of touch and whispers
as our bodies lock in the union of holy soul mates
,,,ohhhh if only god was human,
he would probably understand that its not right to emotionally torture people... [this is me adding my dry humor]
Copy rights V V 2014
***********************
Why is it
.....Everywhere I see
............Everyone I see
..I see
...........The face, with the Butterfly smile.
***********************
For days they were Lost
For weeks they were crying,
For months they were locked
For years they were trapped.
And just that smile from a beautiful angel,
melted the walls and barbed wires.
liberated the little baby butterflies
from cocoons of misery they were trapped in
... thank you , thank you, thank you my amazingly beautiful angel.
Copy rights Vi V 2014
*********************************
that every time she smiled....
butterflies just fluttered and danced around in joy....
sunlight bounced of their wings
such that it made the northern lights look pale .....
you make me feel so Shy...
that my eyes are always twinkling like stars
filled with gentle innocence just flushes my heart
little soft loli-pop hands
I held and danced to your sweetness. ,,, (ouch ET)
soothing and nourishing to my torn soul.
oh! How i would love to kiss your lips and lovely cheeks
and love you as my love speaks
in the language of touch and whispers
as our bodies lock in the union of holy soul mates
,,,ohhhh if only god was human,
he would probably understand that its not right to emotionally torture people... [this is me adding my dry humor]
Copy rights V V 2014
Why is it
.....Everywhere I see
............Everyone I see
..I see
...........The face, with the Butterfly smile.
***********************
It doesn’t take me much
4 July 2008 at 18:01
It doesn’t take me much
----------------------
It doesn't take me much to fall in love,
just a sweet lil gal with flowing hairs.
The twinkling beauty in her eyes,
matching the beauty of her smile.
It doesn't take me much to fall for a gal.
Just a simple gal with a tender caring heart.
It doesn't take me much to fall for a gal.
Just a simple gal whose eyes sparkle when our eyes meet.......
Copy rights V V 2008
4 July 2008 at 18:01
It doesn’t take me much
----------------------
It doesn't take me much to fall in love,
just a sweet lil gal with flowing hairs.
The twinkling beauty in her eyes,
matching the beauty of her smile.
It doesn't take me much to fall for a gal.
Just a simple gal with a tender caring heart.
It doesn't take me much to fall for a gal.
Just a simple gal whose eyes sparkle when our eyes meet.......
----------------------
It doesn't take me much to fall in love,
just a sweet lil gal with flowing hairs.
The twinkling beauty in her eyes,
matching the beauty of her smile.
It doesn't take me much to fall for a gal.
Just a simple gal with a tender caring heart.
It doesn't take me much to fall for a gal.
Just a simple gal whose eyes sparkle when our eyes meet.......
Copy rights V V 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2014
May 11 bye EdmnT,, with a confused heart
Sunday May 11 2014
Leaving Edmonton with a confused heart...
glad to have met someone who meets the crieteria of a perfect soul mate... but just that there was no reciprocal feelings
So little said
in so little time
So much remaining to be said
But time never permits.
Leaving Edmonton with a confused heart...
glad to have met someone who meets the crieteria of a perfect soul mate... but just that there was no reciprocal feelings
So little said
in so little time
So much remaining to be said
But time never permits.
May 10 2014.. Car been moved the conversation with Butterfly smile.
Saturday May 10 2014
Running around for cleaning up the place, and waiting for the car to be picked up. got picked up around 1:30pm
around 4:15 butterfly smile comes in, so we load her car with the stuff that I had. cooking pots and a few food stuff.
then head to remedy for tea... ahhh was not sure how it would go,, but an hour and half just flew away. touched on great topics and amazing intelligent conversation.
It was heart breaking for me to see her go aroun 615... why is the universe showing me someone who meets all the crieteria of a soul mate and then not letting us unite!?
Feels like a cruel joke.
Asked her if I could interest her for persian lunch tomorrow, to which she declined.. ah well I tried.. more than 200%.... thats 100% for me and 100% for her.....
well looks like she is in a different place and plane than I am.....
summary......
Its one sided..physical attraction on my side... We hardly know each other... And i leave for LA today.... She so matches the criteria of an ideal soul mate. ... Happy to have met someone like her...and heart broken at the same time... After i put that post up..we met for coffee and had another round of wonderful conversation... For about 2 hrs.. Then she had to go... And it started feeling like the universe was playing a joke...
kind of reminded me about the same thing that happened in indiana .. just that its just a switch of my direction of move,, and I had just been in Edmonton for about 2 months... did not even know her name for 2 weeks after I was impacted by her smile.. was trying to pull back,, then we became friends on FB,,,, not much interaction... so told her how I was impacted by her smile a day before I left for LA (2 weeks ago).. she was nice and wonderful about it.
we both realize that its just a physical attraction on my side and we hardly know each other.. and maybe we will one day meet when I return to Edmonton over coffee...... so subsequent ot my move to LA,, when I was about to get back to Edmonton on tuesday, Told her about it and that we should meet for coffee sometime when I am here... long story, short,
as fate makes things work,, we met on wednesday as she came to my apartment...and as I was dumping some kitchen stuff.. talked for a few mins.. then on thrusday at the salsa club,, a bit of an awkard meeting saw her dancing very closly with some guy,, thougth that it was her BF... on friday she invited me for dinner.... terriffic conversation for about 2 hrs and then a bit of salsa,,,,, so I told her hey we have to meet for our coffee.. she was reluctant.... then towards the end of the night she said hey I think we can meet for Tea on sat afternoon.. she has a tight scheduled life of activities, dance classes she is helping with ,, ,, so was not expecting much,, as I also had to leave the next day...
That 1.5 hrs of conversation and things we had in common,, blew my mind even more.. felt like she is closest I have ever come to knowing that there is someone meeting the criteria of "the women of my dreams".... and then it started sucking....
==========
evening went to tumblwe with mark, who was trying to motivte me by asking me to forget her as it does not seem to have potential for growth as I leave on sunday....
Obiviously if she had anywhere near to the same kind of feelings she would have put everything else on hold... but it was not ment to be.
Running around for cleaning up the place, and waiting for the car to be picked up. got picked up around 1:30pm
around 4:15 butterfly smile comes in, so we load her car with the stuff that I had. cooking pots and a few food stuff.
then head to remedy for tea... ahhh was not sure how it would go,, but an hour and half just flew away. touched on great topics and amazing intelligent conversation.
It was heart breaking for me to see her go aroun 615... why is the universe showing me someone who meets all the crieteria of a soul mate and then not letting us unite!?
Feels like a cruel joke.
Asked her if I could interest her for persian lunch tomorrow, to which she declined.. ah well I tried.. more than 200%.... thats 100% for me and 100% for her.....
well looks like she is in a different place and plane than I am.....
summary......
Its one sided..physical attraction on my side... We hardly know each other... And i leave for LA today.... She so matches the criteria of an ideal soul mate. ... Happy to have met someone like her...and heart broken at the same time... After i put that post up..we met for coffee and had another round of wonderful conversation... For about 2 hrs.. Then she had to go... And it started feeling like the universe was playing a joke...
kind of reminded me about the same thing that happened in indiana .. just that its just a switch of my direction of move,, and I had just been in Edmonton for about 2 months... did not even know her name for 2 weeks after I was impacted by her smile.. was trying to pull back,, then we became friends on FB,,,, not much interaction... so told her how I was impacted by her smile a day before I left for LA (2 weeks ago).. she was nice and wonderful about it.
we both realize that its just a physical attraction on my side and we hardly know each other.. and maybe we will one day meet when I return to Edmonton over coffee...... so subsequent ot my move to LA,, when I was about to get back to Edmonton on tuesday, Told her about it and that we should meet for coffee sometime when I am here... long story, short,
as fate makes things work,, we met on wednesday as she came to my apartment...and as I was dumping some kitchen stuff.. talked for a few mins.. then on thrusday at the salsa club,, a bit of an awkard meeting saw her dancing very closly with some guy,, thougth that it was her BF... on friday she invited me for dinner.... terriffic conversation for about 2 hrs and then a bit of salsa,,,,, so I told her hey we have to meet for our coffee.. she was reluctant.... then towards the end of the night she said hey I think we can meet for Tea on sat afternoon.. she has a tight scheduled life of activities, dance classes she is helping with ,, ,, so was not expecting much,, as I also had to leave the next day...
That 1.5 hrs of conversation and things we had in common,, blew my mind even more.. felt like she is closest I have ever come to knowing that there is someone meeting the criteria of "the women of my dreams".... and then it started sucking....
==========
evening went to tumblwe with mark, who was trying to motivte me by asking me to forget her as it does not seem to have potential for growth as I leave on sunday....
Obiviously if she had anywhere near to the same kind of feelings she would have put everything else on hold... but it was not ment to be.
Friday, May 9, 2014
May 09 2014. dinner or no dinner with the object of my affection
Friday, May 09 2014.
. dinner or no dinner with the object of my affection!!???
Kind of weirded out by the dance with her yesterday night..
had better connection with all the others.. it was like the worst dance with the most important person in my life and that sucks and hurts big time.....
"It kind of sucks and hurts when the best dance of the night and connection is with many amazing strangers and the worst is with the love and soulmate of your life [atleast the love and soul mate of my life in my imagination]....
M
Turns out my fears were not valid. she said she is single again ,, broke up with boyfriend 2 weeks ago.... kind of felt bad and strange that this was happening to her.
Had gone over to the MKT place for the "run for Dad" pre run party. she turned up around 6:15 ,, 6:20.. met her volunteering friend. who it seems was her room mate in vienna.
Had a brief conversation with her upto 8pm.. ranging from me foolishly talking about spanish and arab history and its links. and about black pepper..
she had to leave by 8pm..... to go to the salsa and be there volunteering...
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My heart
For days they were Lost
For weeks they were crying,
For months they were locked
For years they were trapped.
And just that smile from a beautiful angel,
melted the walls and barbed wires.
liberated the little baby butterflies
from cocoon of misery they were trapped in
... thank you , thank you, thank you.
" The Girl with the Butterfly Smile "
. dinner or no dinner with the object of my affection!!???
Kind of weirded out by the dance with her yesterday night..
had better connection with all the others.. it was like the worst dance with the most important person in my life and that sucks and hurts big time.....
"It kind of sucks and hurts when the best dance of the night and connection is with many amazing strangers and the worst is with the love and soulmate of your life [atleast the love and soul mate of my life in my imagination]....
M
hej ... so about the MKT event ... i just saw that it is over at 7 pm ... there will still be food and drinks and my friend can join us after 7 (she volunteers until 7) but i can make it to be there at 6 pm so they get some donations from my consumption there so long story short: are you available to be there at 6 pm?
V
for you,, any time any where
===========================
V
for you,, any time any where
===========================
ITs dauntingly hurting to see the object of my affection looking dottingly with all her baby faced sincere innocence at another , who in turn does not seem to show the same level of intensity or reciprocal feeling or interest. more like using her as a intermittent stepping stage or a temporary rest area break in his own journey.... :(
==============================
==============================
Turns out my fears were not valid. she said she is single again ,, broke up with boyfriend 2 weeks ago.... kind of felt bad and strange that this was happening to her.
Had gone over to the MKT place for the "run for Dad" pre run party. she turned up around 6:15 ,, 6:20.. met her volunteering friend. who it seems was her room mate in vienna.
Had a brief conversation with her upto 8pm.. ranging from me foolishly talking about spanish and arab history and its links. and about black pepper..
she had to leave by 8pm..... to go to the salsa and be there volunteering...
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My heart
For days they were Lost
For weeks they were crying,
For months they were locked
For years they were trapped.
And just that smile from a beautiful angel,
melted the walls and barbed wires.
liberated the little baby butterflies
from cocoon of misery they were trapped in
... thank you , thank you, thank you.
A smile so beautiful,,
that every time she smiled....
butterflies just fluttered and danced around in joy....
sunlight bounced of their wings
such that it made the northern lights look pale .....
that every time she smiled....
butterflies just fluttered and danced around in joy....
sunlight bounced of their wings
such that it made the northern lights look pale .....
The lights twisted, turned, bounced of the million soft wings in heavenly splendor...
Oh Girl with the Butter Fly Smile
you make me feel so Shy...
you make me feel so Shy...
Dreams and thoughts I am filled with
that my eyes are always twinkling with stars
that my eyes are always twinkling with stars
Your lovely round baby eyes
filled with gentle innocence just flushes my heart
lil lolipop hands
I held and danced to your sweetness.
filled with gentle innocence just flushes my heart
lil lolipop hands
I held and danced to your sweetness.
The touch of your Soft cheeks feels
soothing and nourishing my torn soul.
soothing and nourishing my torn soul.
,,,ohhhh if only god was human,
he would probably understand that its not right to emotionally torture people...
he would probably understand that its not right to emotionally torture people...
***********************
Why is it
.....Everywhere I see
............Everyone I see
..I see
...........The face, with the Butterfly smile.
***********************
Why is it
.....Everywhere I see
............Everyone I see
..I see
...........The face, with the Butterfly smile.
***********************
It doesn’t take me much
It doesn’t take me much
----------------------
It doesn't take me much to fall in love,
just a sweet lil gal with flowing hairs.
The twinkling beauty in her eyes,
matching the beauty of her smile.
It doesn't take me much to fall for a gal.
Just a simple gal with a tender caring heart.
It doesn't take me much to fall for a gal.
Just a simple gal whose eyes sparkle when our eyes meet.......
----------------------
It doesn't take me much to fall in love,
just a sweet lil gal with flowing hairs.
The twinkling beauty in her eyes,
matching the beauty of her smile.
It doesn't take me much to fall for a gal.
Just a simple gal with a tender caring heart.
It doesn't take me much to fall for a gal.
Just a simple gal whose eyes sparkle when our eyes meet.......
Thursday, May 8, 2014
May 08 2014 - Movers
Thursday May 08 2014
The movers came in aorund 10 and left around 12.
had a weird night of waking up in night mares, thinking that I was missing the flight.
yesterday, mss butterfly smile came to my home.. in a weird twist of events and we had a very very brief talk, was nervous as hell and trying to play kool..
was intersting to see her at such close quarters, sweet, open, a very pleasent way of explaining things.
only bummer was the use of drugs,,,
does she want to use it in the future.
latte in the eveing went to salsa at fky budda.. met the tango gal elain and we went a restuaurant and sat down to talk.
butter fly gal wants to take me out for dinner tomorrow.
went out to OTR.... after driving around for a bit and watching the sun in the western horizon . had the rest of the pizza.. kind had a very very odd feeling of not been in a happy place of having things that I would like to have,,,,, love of a wonderful women.
went to on the rocks and got into the class for basics.
Then for some reason, connected with a hot lady,,, eye to eye,, who latter came over and asked me to dance...
it was a great odd kind of connection.. she said she would come and get me on the bachata and latter on she did ,, and boy of boy,, after a very very long time got to dance bachata in a very very sensual way.
Then the story of the butter fly gal... seems to be kind of weired...Felt as thou she was avoiding me. Well maybe my expectation were raised too high,, its her truf, and been one of the divas, was surely in demand ..
was disappointed when she said no to a merengue... something I wanted to test our connection on..
The salsa on vivo,, was also a bit odd... with her focusing on her hand styling and her attention getting diverted towards people around.... well thats the path of the performer,, not in the non-performer tub I am in that of trying to find connection between partners and not caring about the rest of the world... thou it would be flattering and in a different world of its own.
she seemed to be only dancing bachata with that one guy,, really felt pangs of jealousy.. but also felt that he did not care much about her.... she seems to be just another stepping stone for him..
and she seemed to be into him and looking for his approval.
well, well,,,,,, story of my love life,, always in love with someone who is really in love with someone else....
It was sweet of her to invite me for dinner in the morning.. but after the interaction tonite
not sure where that stands..
Will she pull an selfish eva on me?
suddenly canceling with no regard to the others life and feelings?
If she does,, ,, then I need to go evaluate again why I am been drawn towards women like that, even after 5 years,, the same pattern? atleast in this case I would know what to happened historically.
Its heart,,,, wrenching, tingling to,, see someone you love and deam of them loving you... showing the same kind of loving , dotting love to someone else... and hurting more ,, when you see them treat you love like they are just stepping stone and don't care much for who seems to be the love of your life.
The movers came in aorund 10 and left around 12.
had a weird night of waking up in night mares, thinking that I was missing the flight.
yesterday, mss butterfly smile came to my home.. in a weird twist of events and we had a very very brief talk, was nervous as hell and trying to play kool..
was intersting to see her at such close quarters, sweet, open, a very pleasent way of explaining things.
only bummer was the use of drugs,,,
does she want to use it in the future.
latte in the eveing went to salsa at fky budda.. met the tango gal elain and we went a restuaurant and sat down to talk.
butter fly gal wants to take me out for dinner tomorrow.
went out to OTR.... after driving around for a bit and watching the sun in the western horizon . had the rest of the pizza.. kind had a very very odd feeling of not been in a happy place of having things that I would like to have,,,,, love of a wonderful women.
went to on the rocks and got into the class for basics.
Then for some reason, connected with a hot lady,,, eye to eye,, who latter came over and asked me to dance...
it was a great odd kind of connection.. she said she would come and get me on the bachata and latter on she did ,, and boy of boy,, after a very very long time got to dance bachata in a very very sensual way.
Then the story of the butter fly gal... seems to be kind of weired...Felt as thou she was avoiding me. Well maybe my expectation were raised too high,, its her truf, and been one of the divas, was surely in demand ..
was disappointed when she said no to a merengue... something I wanted to test our connection on..
The salsa on vivo,, was also a bit odd... with her focusing on her hand styling and her attention getting diverted towards people around.... well thats the path of the performer,, not in the non-performer tub I am in that of trying to find connection between partners and not caring about the rest of the world... thou it would be flattering and in a different world of its own.
she seemed to be only dancing bachata with that one guy,, really felt pangs of jealousy.. but also felt that he did not care much about her.... she seems to be just another stepping stone for him..
and she seemed to be into him and looking for his approval.
well, well,,,,,, story of my love life,, always in love with someone who is really in love with someone else....
It was sweet of her to invite me for dinner in the morning.. but after the interaction tonite
not sure where that stands..
Will she pull an selfish eva on me?
suddenly canceling with no regard to the others life and feelings?
If she does,, ,, then I need to go evaluate again why I am been drawn towards women like that, even after 5 years,, the same pattern? atleast in this case I would know what to happened historically.
Its heart,,,, wrenching, tingling to,, see someone you love and deam of them loving you... showing the same kind of loving , dotting love to someone else... and hurting more ,, when you see them treat you love like they are just stepping stone and don't care much for who seems to be the love of your life.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
May 06 2014... to Edmonton
Tuesday May 06 2014
ITs going to be a very long day.. demos, cable set up (now doubtful)... and the long 6 hrs of travel to edmonton,, not to mention starting off from work around 1pm and reaching home around 1 or 2.. that will be 12 hrs door to door.
What a hectic past few days
loosing the iPhone on Sunday was one of the craziest things that happened. screwed up my sunday... into monday.
got a new one paying $700 at the apple store.
wooo,, it was heart warming to get the mail from the butterfly smile...
not sure what her real deal is, single or taken?
well there is no scope for anything to happen there as the logistics are too many and against any smooth run even if she is single.
But then it has been a good source of inspiring moments just cause of her smile.. that liberated the bonded butterflies in my heart... phew after such a long time.
So nice to know that i can still feel those feelings.
ITs going to be a very long day.. demos, cable set up (now doubtful)... and the long 6 hrs of travel to edmonton,, not to mention starting off from work around 1pm and reaching home around 1 or 2.. that will be 12 hrs door to door.
What a hectic past few days
loosing the iPhone on Sunday was one of the craziest things that happened. screwed up my sunday... into monday.
got a new one paying $700 at the apple store.
wooo,, it was heart warming to get the mail from the butterfly smile...
not sure what her real deal is, single or taken?
well there is no scope for anything to happen there as the logistics are too many and against any smooth run even if she is single.
But then it has been a good source of inspiring moments just cause of her smile.. that liberated the bonded butterflies in my heart... phew after such a long time.
So nice to know that i can still feel those feelings.
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