Dec 31, End of 2012

Monday, Dec 31 2012

Around afternoon went to DMV office from work to only find it closed.. crazy traffic here.
got back home around 7 with intentions of going out running..

Going to sleep myself into the new year.....

hopefully the plan will work this year END. :)

 To

Wake up, to a new sunrise, with hopes of peace and dreams of love.

To

Wake up, to finding Happiness in the little twists and turns of life.

To

Wake up, to been able to laugh at every fall with a sense of humor.

To

Wake up, to have the fortune of having a job to go too.

To

Wake up, with a Happy Smiling Heart and welcoming 2013.....

Cheers to all.

- Vino


awwwaaa.... went out running and twisted my foot and sprained it.
That is a bummer way to end the old year.

Dec 30 2012, sunday or plans

Sunday, Dec 30 2012.

was able to go for a run in the evening.. nice. all around my apt neighborhood . great place to run.

got back and worked out a bit and watched the nfl games.

Dec 29 , Sat of Snow

Saturday, Dec 29 2012,

Woke up to the gentle snow drifting down to make love to the earthy grounded surroundings.

was a good nite out salsa dancing, thou with not much connection except with the gal who is a professional salsa dancer. she is sweet and seemed to love every time I dipped her.
there was another mature lady, who kept asking me to dance, it was great, but except that she kept leading and then said that I need to get do something sexy with the bachata.... hmmm
anyways went out to my picnic spot around afternoon.

Got call from ash to play some pool towards evening, tried to play as best I could, realise how bad I am at it, but had fun, mocking my own goofiness.

back home around 5:45 and got on the web watching ufc. need to get into shape to be able to do physical stuff.

Dec 28th, Frustation at work, feel like such a dumbo

Friday, Dec 28 2012

woke up a bit late by 7:15.. got to work by 825.. no break fast, just a glass of milk. shower, and out of the house aroun 815. Glad to have taken an apt close by, beats getting stuck in the snobbish, crazy, arrogant driving traffic in the area .

Avoiding 2 hrs of stressful driving each day, about 40hrs per month or about 500hrs per year of stress avoided. :))) now putting it into per year makes it feel much better. works out to 25 dollars extra that I end up paying per day for the rent. that is about 12.5 dollars per hr of stress avoided.


Maybe like I planned last year, will try to sleep it into the new year. Just avoid all the noise and hype of consumerism around the new year.
Last years plan fell aside when I ended up winning the tickets to the new year event. well atleast got some free food sampling and hang out after party with maty. wonder what her story is, never really got to the bottom of it. was she cheating on her husband? or was she separated? or was she just looking for a short term fun? Just glad that I did not fall for her.

Dec 27, Thrusday of exploring options and people

Thursday Dec 27 2012.

8am to 8pm work.. :)
with lunch around 12 30 to 1:30

in the evening called up a v and talked for a few mins. got number of Rav S. Called up and left a msg.
got a return voice msg after a few mins.
got back home and called up, turns out to be living close to my current house and in a posh area by the country club. must be doing really well.
So the plan is to meet during weekend. Sat seems to be a low in possibility cause of the forcast of snow.

But anyways glad to know that someone from my past is living close by.

Dec 26 , Day after Christmas

Wednesday, Dec 26 2012

Not able to sleep, its just past 12 mid night.
Thinking of the snow, the Business rules and connections that I have to go thru to connect and understand. Damm discouraging. wish it was more structured and easier.

woke up around 6 out of bed around 7 and at work by 8..
went to the cable office to see if I could get the streaming bundle. but turns out I have to buy a TV to get the box and stuff.
had lunch @ home and then back to work.

Got out around 8:20..

on Facebook and saw that a gal I liked and had a brief connection with just before my move to US from van, got engaged.
I am really, really happy for her. She is such a sweet person.
The thing that got me thinking is thats another Good luck Chuck moment.
Thats like another persons best dreams coming true.

Cheers to Good luck Chuck in me ,,,,,,

 oooorrrr....

Cheers to Good Luck Vin.
Vin Vino.

I just have to fall in love with a person  or like them and their best dreams or desires come true,

Also was reminded of the lady in dallas salsa, who seems to have suddenly become a celibrity on Dallas latin Radio,,, seems to have become a talk hostess.

Dec 25 2012, Christmas.

Tuesday, Dec 25 2012

Woke up , with no desire to get out of bed. saw the sun rays seeping into my bedroom. Was only able to make it out of be around 11pm with multitude of thoughts swirling around planning the rest of the day, yep cook for one.

Then was getting all the preparations ready to make chapattis, when the call came from rj kan. regarding his move to Canada and wanting information about the initiation of the move, the things to do, look for, the counsel and stuff. Like everyone who is on the verge of a new move, was confused and seemed to need info and some to keep focused.
His heavy heart that the guys he  tried to contact reg the move, were not so helpfull and cooperative as he wanted or expected. He thought that every one would be like me unselfish, jumping at the opportunity to help and make his life comfortable. He is saddened that they are not returning his call even after a few calls. welll the take away I told his, that we learn from their behavior what we should not do to others. Atleast thats what I try my best to learn.

one of the beauties of living life is living itself.....

yea just wish that there were more ups and plateaus than the hard hitting lows.

Christmas night, and its been a great day of sunlight here. But come 3am, its going to start snowing... going to have a hard time getting to work.

Dec 24, Christmas eve after End of world / after life

Monday, Dec 24

trying to motivate myself from yesterdays feelings of low enthusiasm and low feelings.
Got get to get to work and start working on assimilating the knowledge to be able to do justice to the job I have undertaken...

Afternoon got out of work and drove home for lunch,,,, damm snowing has started..... hmm what a magical happening for some,, snowy christmas..

well not a big fan of the snow and driving in the snow.

Invited to tishs house, went there around 7 was there for south indian food and a couple of games of cards. Then returned back with a full stomach around 10pm.

that was Christmas eve for me, domesticated christmas eve.

Dec 23 2012, Slow sunday.

Sunday, Dec 23 2012

slow waking up, arranging things around the house to liven it up.. Feels good looking out in two different directions thru the 3 doors in 3 different directions.


CAlled up home again,, and again ending up in arguments ,,,,, frustrated with their false sense of priorities and sense of privileges...
A privilage sense of thinking that they own me.

Well my argument is that no parent own their kids, its the responsibility of the Parents to take care of the kids,,,,, and its the law in most of the countries and a matter of behavior among most of all living creatures that reproduce.

And among humans the children MAY take care of their parents in latter time. a huge may, again not a true responsibility. Just a sense of enforced responsibility cooked up by selfish parents, who just want to get away with a free ride by making their children feel guilty.

Felt a bit better taking with Ath and Ang,, trying to motivate them to live life and not get too serious with college life.

Dec 22....yea After life

Saturday,, Dec 22 2012..
12 22 2012

Is this after life,,, damm feels and looks the same.
Well @ salsa yesterday night ,, hit peaks and lows..

lows of getting too many rude "nos" at a salsa place.... damm sick bitches. There were like double number of guys to gals there..... guess thats where one gets to see the true nature of women.... most of them too self centered and then when the ratio changes,, they are always complaining about men not asking them to dance..

The crowning point was when the hottest gal (scarl)crossed across a sea of guys and comes over to ask me to dance.. first she points to me from in between two guys standing in front of,, I turn around to see if she ment some else behind me... she was like no "YOU",, for a moment I go googly eyed,, meee..
Wow,,, I was too nervous, but had a fun dance with her,,,,
Then latter on a cumbia, I went around the room asking a few gals,, got 3 NOs in a row,, tried to stay positive by saying, their loss,, went and asked a cute looking african american gal sitting with her friends in the vip section... dang it was nice to even get to dance the last 45 secs or so of the cumbia.

The crowing point was that latter the hottest gal (scarl) came and asked me to dance two more times..  woooo.. i could see the other gals giving her the dagger looks.. she did not care and she just danced.. kind of felt nice because of her,,, she drove about an hr from the neighboring state to be here. wow..

What a night, of ups and downs.

If only she knew how easily she could have got me to fall in love with her,,,,, I would have fallen for her just because she asked me after the series of NO's.. hmhmm,, well life sure is confusing with all kinds of curve balls thrown at you.



Friday, Dec 21 2012..... or 12 21 2012 Supposed to be the end of Mayan Calender or end of world..

At work around 7:45am,, out by 6:45pm
Decided to get Hyderabadi Dum ka biriyani during lunch...
rjn called up regarding info to of moving to canada. told him the details and then sent him the mails for relocation.

Evening decided to go to the salsa room.. wow a club called salsa room.. totally dedicated to salsa. nice..

Dec 20 2012 about 24hrs more for the End Of World EOW

Thursday Dec 20 2012

Just past mid-night,,,
feeling sick with all the doors around my life closing.... so 24hrs more EOw.... sick.

Dec 19 2012... Day of focused studying

Wednesday, Dec 19

attempted to get to work by 7 ,, was able to make it there only by 7:45am.. decided to stay focused on learning than attending any meetings and looking at the mails... seems to be a waste of energy and time.

got to stay focused.

got out by 7pm..

got back home and from 8 to 12 worked on documentation for about 4 hrs  ,,,, then got to know

"Your access has expired,check the date of expiration - > expire on Saturday, November 17, 2012 11:59:59 PM PST. ."

... such is life.....

ahhhh when is the world coming to an End... hope its pretty soon.... :(((

I am getting too old for all this fire fighting and trying to work my arse off , time and again to only have the rug pulled out from under me.

ahh now I really feel choked and feel like crying about everything happening in my life.

Dec 18, early to work

Tuesday, Dec 18

Got in early to work 7:45,,, late by 45 mins to my original plan. really frustrated for not been able to make much progress in understanding the nity-gritty of all this small components and their relationship.
Making me feel like a dumb arse and surely having ADD as I am not able to concentrate and focus and read and learn the stuff I should be.

got out around 7pm

ended up having thin crust pizza , my first bake in the gas oven, with a glass of the yummy spanish vino.
Was browsing the net and got to the first web page I created.. got to see the pics of my younger days.

http://www.reocities.com/siliconvalley/program/8411/

Dec 17, End of world in 4 to 5 days

Monday Dec 17

Was wondering whats high on the list of things to do for people when they are told its the end of the world in Dec 21 2012..
what would be the things that many have up on their list..

Most men would sure have lots of sex with lots of women among the top things to do list. :)

One gal friend said she would like to cuddle into the end of the world,, ended up asking is that gal talk for lots of sex? Cause gals are not so forth coming about talking or revealing about their sexual intentions.

Dec 16 2012, Love

Sunday, Dec 16 2012


Music has been and is the one MAJOR influence in inspiring and building up feelings of LOVE. 
Parents should focus on presenting KIDs with Musical related gifts than those CRAZY video games that seems to build up that part of the brain, related to destruction, killing and all kinds of progressive levels of violence !!!!! 
Parents, its a Choice and Responsibility that you folks have,

Inspiring thoughts during early morning cooking of my second week of veggie curries. :)

well there were lots, but this was the only one I could remember as an idea and come up with words.. the initial words, which I vaugely remember seemed much more precise and inspiring.

11:30,, debating on hitting Costco for my weekly picnic and need to explore the malu grocerry that I had seen online.... 
ahh why has the sun got to set around 4:30pm...

Got a Israeli Vino and a Spanish Vino...

Opened up the Spanish one,,, woooo it was smooth and charmingly fantastic,O... cheers to the mild tipsy and romantic feeling.

Dec 15 like waking in a dream

Saturday, Dec 15 2012

IT was great waking up after a very exciting and wonderful night of meeting some great people. hmmmm.

Got to go and apply for licence at new place.. now to find time to go and title and register the car..

Called up home during the drive to the department. tryiing to convince mom to avoid the soap operas on TV,,,, and like every addict, she refuses to acknowledge that its a problem.
Well its a major problem for a person who is living on just 25 percent and 30 percent of her heart muscles functioning.

Was nice to give my car, my lovely sweet heart a good Car wash with wax and the works. :)

Dec 14, Friiiiii,,, to salsa or not to

Friday, Dec 14 2012

frustrating with not been able to been upto speed at work.....

almost 11 hrs every day this week.. and still feel as thou I have not been able to make any progress.

frustrating and confidence killing.
need to now figure out, should I go or not to go salsa and just go let loose.

Tuesday, Dec 11,

Tuesday Dec 11 2012
but made it to work by 8:30,,, again with a struggle..
hmmmm 12-12-12 is tomorrow and the much talked about end of the world theory. hehehe.. not many seem to remember ,, or seems to have been lost in their own web of living life

back to home, 5 mins dirve ahhhaaa.. :) around 7pm and lots to time to kill. Sun set seems to happen around 5..

Was looking at the old pics from the past and re-living some of the great adventures.
Zion canyon always seems so close to heart and has a special place in my heart.




Monday Dec 10 2012

was not able to wake up early, kind of loving to sleep on in my own bed after such a long time.
but made it to work by 8:45

was able to send out my exp rpt.

Dec 09, Unpacking and resting and getting organized

Sunday, Dec 09 2012

woke up , called up home,,,,, not a good conversation. Don't remember having a good conversation ever after calling up parents....
Why?
what am I doing wrong?
why the total disconnect?

It feels sick,,, I try time and again to take a different approach,,, but.. soon the conversation turns ugly.

I must be really screwed up.

Anyways trying to unpack, clean up debris, organize and needing to complete other stuff and listening to some ancient hindi music that ver had given me.

Dec 08 hang over sat

Sat Dec 08 2012

Woke up around 10:30 and was in no situation to go to the DMV office.

feeling surprised that I was totally lost after last nights booze and meet with D and family. reached place around 7 and was there till a good 3am...
Then went to sleep again around 11:30 and woke around 3 in the afternnon

well my first sleep in my own bed.

Towards evening, went shopping for grocerries


Friday..Dec 07 2012

Checked out of the hotel ,, break fast was good at the hotels. hmmm another 2 week home of mine now.

Around evening went to D's house. was  trying to get the spoon I got from kerala. but was not able to find it or anything I could give them.
in the end, closer to the house, stopped at a grocery shop and brought two packs of lindt chocolates... not really happy with that thou.

Dec 06 2012,, so much brain/thought activity

Thursday Dec 06 2012

The past few days, have been noticing a much elevated range of thoughts and views about many subjects related to self awarness and my own past and current actions.

Dec 05 2012, House hold stuff

Wednesday, Dec 05 2012,

went from the hotel to the apt to wait out the movers.
got call ,no rather a voice msg @ 9 16.. they came around 10 and left around 11:45... two boxes broken and opened up...
and a few damages..

called up sen around 11 and told him that I am not going to make it to the meeting .. aroun 11:45 went to the hotel to have lunch...

Nov 28 2012...

Wednesday Nov 28 2012

Nov 29,,, confusion and chaos

Thursday, Nov 29 2012

got to work aroun 8:30 can in by 9

afternoon went to new apt and gave the initial rent.
tried calling up state revenue... again no let up or down about the mistake.

Nov 27 2012. back to work

Tuesday Nov 27 2012

back to work, sleep deprived... not able to sleep at new places.



Monday Nov 26 2012

12:30 moves comein leave around 2:30

try to complete the clean up and packing and loading by 4:30
hand over the keys to jen and start my drive to reach the home wood around 9... too late for their dinner.
met the pretty pak gal who i thought was spanish or related.
it was nice to talk to her about the biriyani...hehehe

Got a grand room with a bed room attached.. two flat screen tvs, kitchen and a Vip welcome. :)

Nov 25,, my last hike in philly

Sunday, Nov 25 2012

Woke up lazily,, trying to do some last minute pack up and cleaning the washroom..

Then around 10:20 head out to the city for maybe my last hike in the philly area...

Nov 24 2012, Sat Hike

Saturday, Nov 24 2012

Still a bit groggy but ended up going for the early morning hike. Turns out to be a very cold and chill day. Got to go back to the car and get a warmer jacked.

After hike was at whole foods for beer and burgers with sweet potato fries. My first time with a sweet potato fries.

nov 23

fri nov 23

Nov 22, thanks giving day hike

Thursday, Nov 22 2012

got up early and was ready for the thanks giving hike.
was a good hike and the visit to the bakery after..

checking out the TV's to buy or not too?
couple of good offers up tonite at wal mart.

lets see, the sale is going to start in a couple of hrs

Nov 21,, Drive back to PA

Wednesday Nov 21 2012

Start of long weekend.

Get up early, try to meditate a bit. then start the packing up , have breakfast again on the house..
got the receipt for fast check out that was shoved under my room door early morning.
time to head out.



Tuesday Nov 20 2012

Realised that I had forgotten my id at the leasing office yesterday.

Head there around 10:15am, get my id.. then give a check of 250 and hand over the application for the apartment.

get back after 11:30 as I got lost driving around the neighbor hood of my possibly new apt.
lunch at the cafeteria of the office.. not many choices
Dinner at the hotel,, with a glass of vino.. hehehe,, love it,, more so as its on the house.

Talked with the front office and got to reserve for next week at the same rate.. was not able to get the same rates on the web and thru company portal either. rate showing up as $150 per night,, wooo..

had gone to the aloft,, but they don't have a kitchen or fridge either. but it looked like a very luxurious place. The gal at the front desk stole my heart with her sweetness and nerdy look... hmmm my weakness for the nerdy, intelligent gals...

Nov 19, Monday madness

Monday, Nov 19 2012

After a not so pleasent sleep. waking up at 4 and then trying to sleep and then again waking up at 5 and 6:30am..

got ready and hit the restaurant for some free breakfast.

reached work place around 8:40 and called up As who came and signed me in.... huge office building in terms of spread out in 3 floors.
Interesting to note that it had a huge  population of indian orign people working. They seem to be every where, just like in dalas,,, even the surrounding areas are surrounded with many Indian restaurants.. but the biriyani here for $13 cannot beat the $1.99 chicken biriyani in dalas.

Around 5 went out apartment hunting ... liked the place they had.
Just want to sleep over it tonite and then maybe sign up, advantage is that its very close to place of work. about 1 mile.

Nov 18,,, off to VA

Sunday, Nov 18 2012

Woke up with a sense of excitment about the long trip. 3 hrs drive into VA along the i-95.

Still on a high after the hike, dinner and after dinner party at sids house. Will miss them all. Hopefully will be back for the Thursday, Thanks giving day hike... guess all those people who are not living with family or are not able to visit family or like in my case, not having a family to go to in the continent. will end up on that hike to just get away from the boredom of sitting at home.

Success... interesting debate with Do on FB


Success is having to worry about every damn thing in the world, except money. Johnny Cash.

me-> hmmmmmm, thats probably just financial Success... I like to think that each individual has his or her own measure of achieving success, based on what is more important to them in their life.

D ->When you get 100 Million in investment and you get a chance to worry about society issues and can actully do something about it without the worry of money your views might change...

me- >Exactly I would be thinking "oh yea, now I have FINANCIAL success", but then again my core priorities in life may not be "success" as defined by my financial worth. Success is different for each person. example: for some it maybe finding Love, for some it maybe been a good Parent, for some it maybe inventing a cure for Cancer / Aids, for some it could be going out and shooting a couple of Ducks, getting high,, getting Laid every day, having a collection of rare coins, having a drink, having a party every day, going out running every day, visiting different county every month, .... ;)..... hehehe,,, it goes on. Different Strokes for Different people.

11:45,,, got the rental from Enterprise.. pick up got delayed and came in around 10:52am.
But never the less very courteous and customer friendly service, unlike the Avis personal, who seem to display less of professionalism.

pack up the laptop and be there in VA in about 3 hrs time to check into Homewood suites :)))) with an indoor swimming pool,,, at last for some swimming,, hopefully I do not feel shy and back out.

7:45pm
Got into Virginia , after a tiring long drive on the I95... got into the hotel around 4pm and got a huge room with kitchen ,, luckly they are going to have breakfast and dinner from mon to thur.. niceeee

Went out driving to check out the area, boy they have huge wide roads, unlike the congested streets around Philly.

Went to the mall near by, did not see a good place to eat there. So did a quick search with the smart phone and came across a cluster of indian restaurant close to my hotel.. hmm so it was drive back and there ended up seeing a new restaurant from Hyd sounding name, Persis,,,, placed order for dum ka biriyani around 5:45 and picked it up around 6:30..

Got back to the hotel and had the spicy , loaded Dum ka biriyani..
watching nfl on  a 48 inch flat screen and biriyani... yummmm..

Now as I expected or feared, I chickened out of swiming in the indoor swimming pool. dammm maybe tomorrow.

Nov 17 2012, Weekend Hike

Saturday, Nov 17 2012

Bright and sunny day outside with a bit of chill ,, hmm more like cold.

around 10 called up home, trying to motivate mom. Not sure to what extend she was open to hearing me and my ranter . As always her ego and her own attitude of not wanting to take in anything logical and sensible that would take her away from her own world of reality wins over her. Well for a heart patient who is living with just about 25 to 30 percent of her heart muscles working, its only her and her own thinking that could get her thru. I and others can only do so much.

Okay back to getting ready for the hike, before that finish off with the salmon cury and rice with a sprinkle of the herbal curry from Nars house.

not to forget the Tea. been a long time since I had it with ginger....

Also excited about tomorrows drive to the new place and checking into a hotel with an indoor swimming pool. Long time since I did any swiming, which I know very very lil off. Last time I did it, was in a hotel close to Zion canyon. hmmmmm.
Had its own wonderful vibration there. Truly Zion.

Nov 16,,, day of rest I assume

Friday, Nov 16 2012

Its been a lack luster day, after all the hectic coordination.

At last or suddenly experiencing a vacuum. Peace, of not having to wait for others to respond, not wondering, if its a yes or a no, plan A of plan D, a sudden call in between or the wait for the call back and having to call up multiple time to multiple people.

Even after so many moves, my 2nd this year,,,, I am still left with the Good, Bad, Ugly feeling of struggle trying to make things happen and work out smoothly.

Change brings with it, the velocity of change, turbulence and chaos.

""The velocity of change comes visiting, with cousins turbulence and chaos ""

People in US keep taking about needing protection from other countries... because it seems that the people of other countries are out to get them... what a load of crap... in fact

 Deepavali?

 (  bloody arayans rascals celebrating the murder of our great Dravidian king Ravan... hmmmmm, even the Dravidians seem to be brain washed into accepting the Arayan superiority and victory over their own, more because of lack of education and the propaganda machinery thats been working for centuries).

Nov 15, Thu, Coordination of an Octopus

Thrusday, Non 15

Was trying to coordinate with the movers for this week and turns out no one was available. And next week is a no-happening with the long weekend. After a few calls to Kam and hol,y settled for nov 26.
so have to drive over on sunday, stay there for 3 nights and drive back.

so renting a car here for 5 days.

That would leave me 11 more days that I can stay in a hotel.,, in other estimate, need to get a apt by the 7th of dec.

Got a call from Doc office, telling me that they found that I have high chloestrol.. .aaahh thats something I know, now I got to find out how much more.. did it increase than when I did it a few months ago at home?
....

Went out for salsa dancing,, not a great night. was lack luster. came back home a bit disappointed even thou it was probably my last time going out salsa dancing in the area.

Nov 14, Wed, Relocation Action

Wednesday, Nov 14 2012

Lots of hectic work, Packing,,,, all in parts and pieces and not able to do it continuously. More because of confusion and putting off to the last minute.

But should be able to set it into motion and complete it once the movers date is confirmed.

now to head for the drug test again... ahh and to check on the costco checks,, did I cash them before I went to india in july???

Nov 13 2012,,,, packing, waiting and Doctor

Tuesday Nov 13 2012

It packing time and getting to the Yearly physical.


Monday Nov 12 2012

Started the day with the remote meeting, that did not go well as the Client seemed to have had made plans of their own and only wanted some clarification.

So after that it was waiting to be allotted to the proj so that I could start the relocation process. But as usual screw ups in the dates and understanding of the need by others screw up the date. Should have been nov 12 , with 1perct assigned to the proj but I lucily noticed the request been put for Nov 19 and alerted others. But again its a wait game, sending out mails to people..

and in between all this , went for the drug test which is another pre employment requirement with client.

,, wanted to go out to the buddhist temple for meditation and salsa after, but then after I started off, and thinking of hour long drive in the peak hr traffic of 5pm,,, got discouraged. Sun seems to be setting pretty soon and its getting dark by 5:30pm.

Nov 11 Sunday, New York

Sunday , Nov 11

Got off around 10 went over to NJ to Nars house, stopped over at the temple briefly.

Had a great lunch of fish curry and yummy rasam. Then around 4:20pm all head out to JFK in two cars.

Got back from jfk directly around 10:15. got call from cog Raj about attending a call tomorrow morning for some work related stuff. great. when the going gets going,, its like the flood gates of demand suddenly start opening up and improving my stock value in the job market.
cheers to that.

Nov 10 , weekend, relax, hike

Saturday, Nov 10 2012

At last one weekend where I can relax, not think about my employment status and the possibility of getting employed, self doubt, punctured confidence, help-lessness,,,,,

ahhh what a relief to be just able to not think about the immediate future and the barb wire preventing me from moving forward.

Yesterday my attempt at fish fry seemed to have worked a bit, just that I was not in any mood to eat the fried fish as I had a few baked tilapia before. Towards the evening had a shot of whisky with ice and water, felt relaxed and calmed. Which in turn resulted in me forgetting to have dinner and having to put the fried fish in the fridge.



Now to get ready for the hike.

Great hike..

Got lost when coming back, missed taking my usual exit and ended up driving 13 miles to the next one... luckily was able to turn around before paying the toll of would have ended up with another big drain on from my pocket.

Was thinking about why I tend to ignore someone after they say "no" when I ask them to dance.
Well it takes a lot of emotional energy in me to motivate myself to go over to ask someone to dance, and its also because I would have watched them and found them attractive enough to over come my shyness to ask them to dance. And when they say "no" it sure could be just "no I am resting" or anything.
But to me its like something I love and wanted to have and internally I understand I cannot have. And the more I would look at it or brood over it, the more painful or more desirable it appears.. So in my own best interest its best to ignore it and to imagine that its not there at all.
So when the object of my interest says "no", I in my own interest and to protect my own emotion, just tend to ignore the person going forward. To me that person no longer exists in and around the dance floor. They become a non-entity in the landscape.

Nov 09 2012, The test of patience - The Wait

Friday Nov 09 2012

It was a very patient wait yesterday, then ended up getting a call for another opening, thou it was a mismatch and the expectation was for a person experienced in process enhancement, something I never did and do not have the confidence to be creative, when needed, mostly with in time-lines.

kind of hurt my confidence and the wait for the call for the confirmation at virz. in va..... ahhh


‎"Demand integrity from yourself.
 Integrity is like loyalty. 
You can't demand it of someone else; 
you can only demand it of yourself." 

-- Jim Rohn

So very true. One thing I did not find in all the women I dated in the West, is their sense of loyalty. Which is probably a result of their upbringing with too many options. Or may be I am wrong, even Eastern women have the same issues. Guess its mosty a man thing and the ones who are not able to be loyal to their spouses are branded as "bad eggs" and there by most women blaming the whole group of men as "dogs".

Sense of Loyalty and commitment to relationship, no matter how bad the going gets, tells a lot about the persons loyalty and integrity.

Very easily do we get to see that, if one just takes a look back at a persons history. Well there could be exceptional circumstances for break up, but then when one commits to a relationship, it has its own sacred chamber to exclusivity. Only opened or broken by the people within that chamber.

The purpose of life as someone posted on FB : is to have fun

Well I have a different idea about it :

Come to think about it, purpose of every living creature or being is to reproduce. The rest of the activity for food, fighting for food to sustain life, building colonies are but SUPPORT activities to aid the purpose of breeding. 
Be it Human, animals, viruses, bacteria,,,,,
 I like to go by "Breeding or Reproduction" for all living creatures (Trees, plants, animals, creatures, birds, fish, bacteria, viruses, humans,,,,,). Kind of allowing it to be given a wider umbrella of thinking. ;)

Atlast around afternoon get call from client,, then around 5 get confirmation of the proj. yeaaa atlast after 2 months of waiting it out on the bench.

Here I come Virginia,,,, :) close to the White house. hmmmm

Nov 08, which one will I get.Decision time?

Thursday Nov 08 2012

It was funny waking up around 4 in the couch and then moving over to the Bed room. Well either way was able to fall asleep again like a baby.
Clear conscious.

Was wondering what exactly happened yesterday night. Remember having veggie pizza and munching it down. yummy,, then talking with Anl and then watching ABC on the net.

Got the maintenance guy come in the morning, had to tell him that the heating was fixed.

Then came the call from Kaml for the veriz opening in asb, va. To be ready for a call from the BA on the Client team. And that things are almost ready  and that I could be onboard soon. about 99% ready and ok.

Cheers to some cheerful and positive news.
ahhh I just want to get working again.

Also a couple of other openings, not sure now about the opening in Canada. Its funny that guy did not even bother to reply to amt or that is what Amt gave as answer.

After the brief snow storm yesterday, it feels nice and bright to see the sun and sunlight out. Love the sunshine.

Nov 07 2012, New Term for Obama

Wednesday Nov 06 2012

Start of new day with the Nor Easter hitting the North East parts and feeling the chill at home even thou the heat is on high.

And its the start of a new term of 4 years for Obama as President of US.

Now waiting for the Snow storm. ahhh nature at its ruthless element of surprise and ambushing.

Want to go out, but its so cold and with the heating in my bed room not working , have to wait for the repair person to come over.

Nov 06 2012 Election Day - US (aka world)

Tuesday Nov 06 2012

woke up to the phone call from Vis calling from India. Was not able to pick up the call, as I was drowsy after a late night yesterday.

Got back home around 2 and went to sleep around 3.

hmmmm effects of strong and tasty coffee from McDonalds.

It felt good to get out to the meditation center and the discussions after that.

Then it was time for the interview, not sure what the take away was for that.
Followed by Salsa,,,,, it was great meeting sweet kind faced heather, looked like a lovely doll. Great connection on the Cha-cha it felt even much better when she came all the way across the floor to say bye to me, when leaving. wow.

Well as usual there had to be one person who would put a damper on good times and fun , with her self centered behavior... reminded of some one who is like that. It was remarkable how they both look so physically alike. Thou on this one I could smell the stink of smoking and my reluctance to ask her dance the bachata.

Hmmm Election day, wonder how the world is going to change or react. Have a funny feeling now that Mitt Romeny might pull the rug from under Obama. It would be sad, if Romeny decides to get aggressive and start another war. It would only take this wonderful nation of hard working people down with all the destruction and resulting chaos.

Selective affiliation to information/disinformation, instead of questioning them, makes us all Paranoid mules for the source.

Politicians all across the world are just Managers, yes good managers of Lies. Some of their lies get caught, most get away and earn them followers, of course for the lies. 

Election time and the worlds waits with their hopes of the future and to be able to set aside fears of another war.

Nov 05 Monday, lifes lessons

Monday Nov 05 2012

Well got to get to the appointment for oil change early morning. And get moving in ITIL and SFDC.

8:30am went for oil change and was out by 9:30am.. drove over to McDonalds,, gosh it must have been ages since I visited a McDonalds. Got a breakfast combo with coffee to go and had it after getting back home.

Called up anl and talked for a few,, had called up Raj before that and left msg to let him know of my interest in the opening we talked about on friday.

Frustating wait with no solution in sight. Feeling of helpless ness making we value each and every penny I have and stopping me from spending or buying on an impulse.

Got call back from Raj ,,, asking me to send resume. phew ,, already feeling better.
Then got call from Sri about setting up interview tonite.. yeaaa things are getting better.


Sunday Nov 04 2012

@ NJ, was a bit scary to huge line of people with cans and people waiting for miles in cars. most of the shops been closed and small shops and grocerry try to stay open.

around 10pm, got call from Vin for the opening in pepsi, but stopped after he discovered that I was having too much of exp.

Weather is really getting chilly and cold.

Was very intersting to hear Nar talk about his views on married life and how each partner should be willing to try and make the other partners life better and easy, by supporting each other with taking responsibility of doing the household work more importantly taking care of the babies. As Anl had said before too, with family and kids its a totally different game and approach. Sacrifices of personal life that was before marriage and kids and approaching life as an entirly different sport of game that one was used to before.

It was a wow moment to see nar hosting another family in need and sharing their house cause of the effects of hurricane Sandy.
 No wonder that people in the west would not be able to do that and would be totally lost and would have fought or end up upset with each. As with living as a family , its tough even putting up with another family with kids or with going and living with another family.
Not sure if I have or will ever have that level of patience to put up with another who would be at a totally different wave length, Even with the same wave length, its very very difficult as there is always going to be certain difference between each person. Ego is always going to come out and play its part and thats were respect for others and not embarrassing the other partner in public no matter how different ones own views are and wants are.

Nov 03 2012 Sat Dilema of plan

Saturday, Nov 03 2012

Well a bit on a pickle here.
Should I go out hiking or should I head out to nars house?

Wanted to cover a couple of ITIL self learning stuff before heading out either way.

Called up home to give mom a pep talk.


need to organize,, to do list seems pending...

Try to cover ITIL and sfc crm.


Its been and emotional battle to try and concentrate and focus. I wish I could do it as seemingly easily done by many.
Trying to get past even the page 2 of studying, ending up thinking of so many other things and doing them instead of focusing and sticking to the plan of completing. Facebook been one of the main culprits that seem to challenge my focus.

Nov 02 end of week

Friday Nov 02 2012

End of week and no sign of a job .... yesterdays multiple job applications did not turn out any good and neither was I able to focus on getting things done that I had planned.. so here it remains in my plate again.


need to organize

3) schedule annual medical chek up done
5) Oil change ,, appointment done. 
6) washing  ,, done

Try to cover ITIL and sfc crm.

And now to squeeze in the washing too :)

Busy with calls and watching youtube videos on Tech stuff. wow It seems to have more content than googling. 

Surprising that I was at home full time. did not get to go as had planned for a walk in the evening..

Well there was this sudden emergency vehicles pulling up in front of the apt , went out to see the neighboring building had smoke coming out. seemed to be controlled as they left after a few mins. :)) 

Nov 01 2012, Start of month of uncertainty and change

Thursday Nov 01 2012,

 Start of month of uncertainty and change.
was able to wake up early, looks like a beautiful day with the sun out (atlast!).
Bit of chill with temp around 9 deg C around 48 deg F.

Got enrolled in the ct benifi , had to call up the support 877 as there seems to be some issues with the online enrollment. The lady I talked to coiped what was in my last years and I was able to update and edit.

ok thats done..

need to organize
1) Suitcases
2) aaa refund
3) schedule annual medical chek up
4) Dump all old docs, need to get cracking on the boxes.

Try to cover ITIL and sfc crm.

Oct 31 2012, ADHD

Wednesday Oct 31 2012

Psyched up and was able to get up early. Again what a feeling to feel the amount to time at hand even thou it was just around 8:30am when I checked for time felt like I was awake for a lot and had got lot done.

Called up Raj and aji, left voice again. then forwarded the notice mail to amti.
Got a call for opening in Dal. not sure if it will materialize, so far no info regarding the opening in puerto rico.

It feels scary and not able to focus on a few things I wish I could focus and study. More like a heightened case of AD or AD HD

Just gave a search and after reading about the sympotms feel like they were talking about me.

ADHD Symptom	Children with ADHD	Teens with ADHD	Adults with ADHD
Inattention	Children may be easily distracted, have difficulty following instructions or completing schoolwork, and have trouble listening.	Teens may lose things such as homework and schoolwork, make careless mistakes and fail to complete tasks.	Adults may put things off until the last minute, fail to follow through on commitments, have difficulty sustaining attention to reading or paperwork.
Hyperactivity	Children may climb or run excessively and have trouble remaining seated.	Teens may have difficulty engaging in quiet, sedentary activities, fidget with hands or feet and feel restless.	Adults may feel restless and impatient, like they're always "on the go," always need to be busy after work or on vacation.
Impulsivity	Children may find it hard to wait their turn when playing with friends, or may blurt out answers in school.	Teens may be impatient, frequently interrupt or intrude on others to the point of causing difficulties in social and academic settings.	Adults may interrupt others in class or at work, have difficulty waiting one's turn, finish others' sentences during conversations.

So now the question is how do I control this without having to take medication.

Meditation seemed to help, but it sure is slow with again the inablity to focus much. Group meditation did help.

ahhhhhhhhh

Oct 30 Tuesday, Sandys Fart

Tuesday Oct 30

Sitting at home listening to the wild noise been made with the wind blowing got me thinking and comparing it to a continuous Fart from something as big as a huge humongous space ship or maybe better put as Sandys Fart.

Sandy farted and blew out all my sources of communication with the outside world.
Woke up early morning to check the damage, car is still there.
So checked the phone, no signal, cable,, not connecting at all. Damm started feeling a kind of nervousness . What do I do? Don't have TV so do not know whats happening outside of this lil village I am in.
Not able to call up friends or family to get any information.

Had break fast, showered up and went out driving around to see if I could pick up the cell phone signal anywhere near.
Sat at the parking lot of walmart and got the telephone signals and called up home, nar and anl.

But saw that there was neither 3G nor 4G signals.

Again after sometime went around driving and saw that the signals got stronger close to the school. So drove back parked in the school parking lot and checked a few mails. Phew.

Then got back home, around afternoon got cable internet connection,, cheers.. atlast able to check and get to know whats been happening around the world.

Oct 29 2012 Monday, Sexy Sandy's dance

Monday Oct 29 2012

Its now a wait for the performance by Sexy Sandy and her side kicks to show us what its got.
The news seems to be bad with the philly airport closed down and the subways of New york closed.

few more hours for the dance of nature.

Oct 28 2012 Suday, waiting for Sandy

Sunday Oct 28 2012

Was a day of wait and watch with cloudy overcast.
Went to costco, saw that the crowds were lesser on the road and in the shop today than yesterday, when it seemed like every one was on the road and crowding shops and parking lots.

People hoarding up as a precaution of the fall out of the unpredictable out come of natures actions.

Oct 27 2012 Hike out

Saturday Oct 27 2012

around 1pm went out for a 7 mile hike.
then part of the group went to whole foods for beer and after a long time I had burger, Cowboy burger and fries along with it. yummy with the fried onions and bacon.

Oct 26 , end of depressing week and dreaded start of hurricane week

Friday Oct 26 2012

End of depressing week and dreaded start of hurricane week.

CAlled up raj and ajt.. and then send out the mail. But nothing seems to be coming back from them.
Kind of increased dilema and fear as now I got to know that I am on H1B instead of TN which means I need to leave the country as soon as I am laid off.

And next week starts with the huricane virtually coming in from the Atlantic and the news feeds are full of drama about their potential destructive behavior.

Towards evening went to the leasing office and gave the one month notice. ahhhh

Oct 25 2012, Notice

Thursday, Oct 25 2012

As expected got the dreaded Notice of 5 weeks.
Well like everything that you come across face to face, even thou you been thru it before and are expecting it. It fuels the lousy feelings more than its already been experienced when its just all in your mind.
The material impact sure is a fuel as its coming with your other senses getting to experience it and then it comes to hit you with a D-Date.

What exactly is causing me to think of it and dreading it, what is it that I am fearing?

As much as I like to claim, there is a huge part of me thats not willing to do minimum wages jobs. I want to work smarter and contribute to the development of self and my surrounding better with what I believe to be my skills, suited for jobs in the industry. Something that would give me a feeling of self recognization and also gives me enough confidence to hold my head up high and not be belittled by snobs and other ego maniacs. Something that would make the people who I love and who love me, look up with pride and feelings of great  achievement in my actions and been associated to me.

It is ofcouse with pride everyone talks about the ones we are related to when we hear of their accomplishments. And in many a cases do not want to talk about relatives who have not done good to the society at large.

Its just like every human, that I want to be liked by people.
Been liked and loved has it own wonderful feeling.

Kind of reminded of the lil babies and dogs loving me of showing actions of liking me with out even a word been spoken.
ITs like the theory of we all been masses of energy, sending of vibrations and frequencies of goodness or not so good. And then suddenly when we meet people who match our frequency there is the

Oct 24 2012 !!?? sums up start of today

Wednesday, Oct 24 2012

Tried to get up early.
It was nice going for a great walk and run about 3.3 miles in 45 mins after a brief work out yesterday.

Now got to get cracking on updating some of my tech skills and see how I can monetize on that.

FB delight.

Oct 23 2012

Tusday Oct 23 2012

"""A roadblock of sorts will appear in the second half of the month as the Sun moves into Scorpio on October 23. In and of itself, this transit simply represents a change of focus. In this case, however, the Sun is activating the very same traits Saturn is trying to reign in. Adding to this tension, the Sun will butt heads with Saturn on October 25, leaving you feeling a bit downbeat and intensely secretive.""

Got a call for an opening, but they were looking for someone with lots of Manager exp.

Bummer again.

Got another call,,, asking me to be ready to receive the 5 week notice from HR.
 Here we go again, held at ransom of the world and its crazy twists and turns.

Depressing feeling sweeping over me, the weather not helping either with its gloomy over cast of clouds.

A bit scared thinking of the hard time I had in Canada been unemployed and worrying to pay my bills. Hate to go back to India and face up to the red-neck characters who are among the village relatives.

Kind of really feeling sick now, mostly the dread of the unknown, fear of hitting lows and becoming dependent on others. Not the way I would like to live.

Who else to blame, other than self. Reasoning can be so diverse. Could end up blaming myself and feeling bad about the choices I made on the opportunities I must have done different.

But then again in the same way able to reason that, given the circumstances of laziness, lack of motivation, lack of concrete will, I would probably have made the same call.

Oct 22 Monday weekend summary

Monday Oct 22 2012

got the PP. now to get cracking on the immigration related issues.

Towards evening got out and went for the buddhist meditation secession, its been having a good effect on me and just listening to other share their experience in a wonderful way of trust is heart warming.

Went salsa dancing after and was surprised when a gal I had danced with, at brasil, couple of weeks ago on a wonderful cumbai, came over and said that her friend and taken a video of us dancing. Was excited and wanted that video as I wanted to see how I looked dancing a cumbia... So after dancing with her a bit, asked her if she could send it to me and I could give her my email. She said she has it on her facebook and asked me if I had one. I said yes and that we should exchange ids or I could give her my email and she could add me or I could add her if she gave me her id.

A bit latter, I got busy dancing with one of the sweet beginners and when I got back she was gone.. her name was Loraine or Laurine or something like that. She sure is very exotic and beautiful. Seems to have a kind of sensual aura about her with the poise that reminds of princess and royalty.

That was bummer... ahhhh well life sure does bait me and us all in different ways. cheers


Sunday Oct 21 2012

Woke up to a weird sound . Found out that it was the hot air baloon that was floating up above that was having hot air ignited or flared or what ever it is called that they do when they are already in the air.

Then heard some loud speaker comentary and realised that it must be the annual marathon. Went out and saw the last of the runner enter in about 1hr 30 mins latter.. on a 13 kms run. It was inspiring, felt like running.


Saturday Oct 20 2012
Went for the 12 miles hike.. about 20 kms. was not as much exhausted or tired after that, must be the bit of running and walking that I have been doing.
Had gone there with about 5 hrs sleep. had come back from a not so exciting salsa dancing night, went to sleep around 3am or 4 hike was at 11am. woke up around 8 or 9 am.

Oct 19 2012 Friday..Govt people and politics

Friday, Oct 19 2012


Does every nation need to have a common External enemy so that its Hyper energetic population (more brawn than brain) does not end up focusing their energies on the current Government/Rulers !!!???

Makes sense then when rulers elected or otherwise, tend to set up the population to believe that there is a common enemy, External, that is a threat to them. And keep feeding information and build up the Enemy into much bigger Threat than they really are.

Makes it easier, on a lager or wider point of view, that it is in the Internal interest of the Nation/group to have that Common enemy occupy the thoughts of the people rather than the Internal issues plaguing the Nation / group. 

Thoughts on the Internal Issues, which also could lead up to Internal chaos, fights, splits happening with in the Nation/Group based on differing ideology and beliefs.

One of the best examples is that of the multi-cultural, multi-racial (Aryans[european origin majority], Dravidian [aborginals mostly having DNA linked to the first man from Africa], Monglos [about 8 or the 30 states bordering china...]).
How can a Govt hold this group of diverse groups who are proud of their own heritage together?

Having a very common enemy - Pakistan.
Churning out tons of propaganda and keeping the news industry active with stories of fear and insecurity constantly going. On occasional even sponsoring some negative events with collateral damage written off for the greater good of keeping the majority population safer and together.

Oct 18 2012 fixed window shade

Thrusday, Oct 18 2012

Tried to get up early. but ended up getting out of bed only around 8:30am... damm motivation.

Maintence came and fixed the window with a new shade. now I am able to open it smoothly.

Oct 17 2012 Waiting Wednesday

Wednesday Oct 17 2012

Its been a long wait and no sign of the light or end of tunnel.

Set up payments for the month.

Was interesting to watch the debate online yesterday while also baking tilapia. :)

Interesting write up :

Dating is about finding someone who shares similar emotional issues and baggage. If you're a Type A and they're a Type B, things won't work out so well. Instead, richness and profundity are where it's at. Everything will settle when your intentions are versatile.

Guess its all about finding that one person who I think will make my life better and worth waking up each day    "Happily" to become a better person and that person thinks that I will make her life better and is worth waking up each day "Happily"  to become a better person.

went running and before that had a had work out.

Hoping to wake up early tomorrow.

Oct 16 2012...

Tuesday Oct 16 2012

Waking up again with feelings of anger towards a few people who bothered me with their insensitive and selfish comments the time I was at home with parents.

At times I wish I just could have shouted back and them and chased them away for good or even beaten up a couple of them so said uncles (retarded junk heads).

Oct 15 2012, new week of anticipation and activity

Monday, Oct 15 2012

Started off the day in anticipation.

around afternoon finished cooking up the atlantic salmon, kind of not happy with the salmon. Does not seem to release the oily stuff  (assuming that its Omega3) that comes out when cooking the Costco brought fresh farm salmon.
And the frozen Alaskan salmon seems to stink much more. The smell of fish. This was something I had experienced when I had brought the Alaskan salmon from wal mart too.

So is it the Alaskan salmon or is it the fact that its been vacuum packed and sealed for a long time thats causing this smell and not releasing any Omega 3 oil

Was hoping to shower up and head to the meditation ,, and got to see that they cut off the water supply due to some issues with the pipeline at the end of the apartment building.

Well its raining too, just let it go and around 4:30 set off to downtown. reached the meditation place around 6 with all the traffic. (kind of feels better driving in slower traffic than the fast moving crazy traffic around rush hour).

It was interesting sharing thoughts about life and philosophies with others who seemed to be like minded and going thru some of the confusions about life and behavior and reactions and trying to control the mind.

After the secession , went to the Gogh and had a couple of good dances of salsa, not as great as I would have wanted.

Kind of also getting a bit of confused about my career and been at home waiting for a project.... its been a month since I got back and that makes it about 3 months to the day of not having worked professionally.

Oct 14 2012, day of socializing

Sunday, Oct 14 2012

Got up with not much of hurry. kind of relaxing day.

Met NAr friend raj who got back from Uta and will be again relocating to near here.

WEnt to the restaurant stuff selling in bulk place and got a pack of Atlantic Salmon and thilapia..
It costed about 87 that I need to pay up to Nar.

Latter went to the ewr airport to pick up raj.

Towards evening nar sis and fam arrive, got out around 8:15 and reached home around 9:30. now to relax and start cooking the salmon curry tomorrow.

Oct 13 Saturday off to NJ

Saturday, Oct 13 2012

Call home, still frustrated with mom exerting herself much and stressing over stuff she should not. Not sure how better to handle it other than ignore it and let her do what she wants. There is so much I can do and tell someone about it.

After much of debate and preparation head off to NJ to the Temple, it was kind of re-kindling the feelings in the heart and feelings of vibrations.
The preparation was about the possibility of me feeling like staying over at Nars house. just in case scenario

Then got the bit of food for nar's home and tried calling him up 3:45. did not pick up the phone.
So went back into the temple canteen and got more food for the week.

Was returning when got call from Anl... and was driving back when nar calls after 4.. then make a u turn and get back.

It was a sweet experience watching his new baby girl have the toothless smile and giggling. sweet... and was great to have the sambar at their house.

Watched a couple of movies,, one was Proposal.... again my mind was saying, if it is ment to be, u will know it and things will just happen.
I thought that I had someone like that a sometime back. Then things started going south , the more I got to know and see some traits in that person, turned out to be an entirely different personalty lurking under the what I thought was a calm, reasoning and understanding person.

Well guess it was not the right time or person.

Oct 12 2012

Friday Oct 12 2012  ... 10 12 2012

hmmm still thinking of the sweetheart of a gal I got see at prx. she seems to have such a heart warming smile and a sweet pure personality. well all these by only the physical appearance  do not know how she really is. Would she be one with a volcano of anger hidden under her outward appearance?

but either way, it was  is a pleasent feeling seeing her and thinking about her.

Oct 11 2012, salsa :)

Thursday, Oct 11 2012

Ended up going for salsa and the surprise factor of seeing the sweetheart of a gal at pax ,,, it was great to see and watch her dance. Just did not like the guy trying to pick her up.

Towards the end had a few great danceses and WOWed the gals I danced with, resulting in a few others jumping on to me and trying to get a dance full of me...

Its flattering to have that kind of effect. Feel like a rock star. But a shy rock star. ;)

Oct 10 As Birth Day

Wednesday Oct 10 2012

Its A's birthday, sent out a mail wishing happiness.

Felt kind of uncomfortable and had lots of weird thoughts and images coming in yesterday and did not seem to have a good sleep.

Waiting out for the info about the resume sent for the new direction of my career . A bit unsure and wondering what to expect.

Its been a gloomy Vancouver like weather here. hopefully will brighten up soon with sunshine.

wondering should I go to Nar house for the weekend and spend time with his kids and take it easy.

Oct 09 2012, no mans land

Tuesday, Oct 09 2012

Again finding myself , wel-fed, rested, entertained and in no particular hurry to reach or go anywhere.
Directionless, or at peace or at a uncertain phase .

No objective other than the hope of getting on to a project and work on been productive and contributing to the betterment of society.

Had got dressed and all ready to go meditating and salsa dancing. But about 4 miles into the drive and seeing the clutter of traffic and the drizzle in COLD weather acted as a catalyst to make me turn around.
Went to Wal mrt and brought couple of warm shirts , lime and a box of cut fruit box meldy.

Was going thru facebook of a Friends Friend and noticed that the person had gone down the west coast in sep 2009, around the same time I had gone. Its funny to see all these people end up coming back and getting married. Looks like mine was the only trip that was ended up screwed.
Well now as I look back, I was just the driver for a self centered princess, who expected me to be her servant and handy man. Atleast I got to know sooner. :)

Good learning exp on understanding and studying human selfishness.

Oct 08 2012 Monday, start of new week

Monday, Oct 08 2012

start of new week

Oct 07 2012 , Lazy sunday

Sunday, Oct 07 2012


Salsa night out on Friday, 4hrs sleep and then on Saturday followed by 10 hrs intense (for me) hiking and 12hrs of sleep :)))) ,,, Good morning to Lazy Sundays :)

Had some very awakening conversation with Nar regarding family, behavior, self awareness and improving self.

Was around 3 pm when I got out and went to cost co. 

Wow was really tired after the hike around green lane resv. 

Watched the Broncos play the Pats. interesting game.

Oct 05 2012 Some good news

Friday Oct 05 2012

Some good news with the call from bos, felt a ray of hope after that. The hopeless feeling was crushing me and my positivity.

So sent out the resume..

then got call from nar and had a uplifting conversation with him.

was thinking about my inclination to speculate, seems to be in my DNA, going by the profession of my Grand dad.

Should that be the one that I should be taking up, seems to be well suited except that my speculation is getting over ridden by greedy hopes and screwing up my covering time or selling timing.

Again seem to add to the theory of natural gratification and attraction to speculative professions.

So now the question for today, should I go out to downtown for dancing? have not been there for more than five months,, still thinking of the great time I had last time I went there on the weekend. That was too great a day.

Oct 04 2012 Life mates

Thursday Oct 4


hmm nothing much happening.. except trying to wake up from listening to the US pres debate yesterday. Romney seems to be on the attack on a sleep and trired looking Obama. Something I was afraid that would happen.
If that continues,, gone is Obama and in comes Rom.

gloomy weather outside. stuck watching cnbc and the stock market. nothing much happening there either other than that I lost most of my earning again over all.

lousy sick feeling. awww well life. wonder whats the meaning of all this and what is it going to lead to.

like all I want to have a loving family that I can provide for and take care of. But with not much hope in careeer and earning to look forward to, it looks like a hopeless situation. Don't even feel like going out and looking for a mate. Rather filled with self doubt and end up building blocks and chasing potential mates away.

The salsa music at pax was just great today, but sad1y not many to dance, ended up dancing with a couple. It felt good and in fact felt great. Wish they could get the same DJ again.

Oct 03 2012 Washing day

Wednesday, Oct 03 2012

Day of washing, woke up trying to motivate my self into looking forward to a beautiful day and waking up with a smile, even thou the mind was drifting towards all the other issues and problems thats happening in the family, with parents and my own personal job front.

its about afternoon now and so far seems to be ok. 
just got the washed cloths into the dryer and tried using SIRI to set up a reminder..
Created Reminders using SIRI,,, "Dry Cloths" - reminder created --> "Break notes" ;)

hehahaha... thats funny

debating to call raj and bos to check on the job status,, but had called up yesterday and left msgs....

This time around I seem to be taking the issue lightly, some kind of intution about it. But not been able to put my finger on it. Not even sure if its positive or negative.

And not able to motivate myself into focusing on studying a particular subject that I could try to navigate my career on.

So much confusion regarding the future of technology and with my current skills that seems to be going out of market....ahhhhh frustration.

got to see whats in store for the presidential debate of US today.

Oct 02 2012 Tuesday, New month

Tuesday, Oct 02 2012,

Rainy day. but still feeling bouyant. trying not to think of things happening back with parents there. Who seem to be living in the world of kings and zamindars. Dad still has not learnt to talk with people past the time  his dad used to have lots of servants and treated them with not much respect.

Respect for other human beings and creatures is the core for every human being. Taking people for granted was the norm of the time, duing the days of kings and land lords, who just thrived on the fear and slavery and never really did any real work.

3pm Called up raj and bos regarding job opening,, ended up leaving voice msg for both.

cooked salmon curry atlast for the first time (maybe) this year. yummyyyy

Monday Oct  1  2012

Early morning got a Fedex.. turns out that my pass sent out for renewal to the canadian office came back because they noticed a shadow behind my head in the photo.

dang,,, another $hundred down the drain to resend.

Atleast the walgreens was very customer friendly and did not charge me for the photo taken again. Even thou I wanted to pay for it as a matter of taking accountability for my failure to have raised the issue at that time and letting it slide thru.
It was totally my fault. So I should pay for it..

Accountability, accountability, accountability,,,,, that is what I need to face, accept and pay for, for my thoughts, choices, actions and reactions :)))))


Well atleast ended up sending the package again to canada thru fedex.. funny , that thou the weight was the same,, fedex charged me a few cents more thiis time. wonder whats their criteria for fee calculations?


Sunday Sep 30 2012

Went out hiking with the group after such a long time. It was nice to see Den again... she is remarkably sweet. Felt like there was some kind of under current going on between us, eyes meeting, darting, smiliing on the sly, trying to joke about something trival,,,, but not happening smoothy, with the strange tension of shyness on both sides.

Felt like huggin her.

Was impressed how she was brave enough to chase the snake away, while I ran the opposite direction. seems she had a snake for pet. wow , effects of having hippy parents. But more than that was her impressive phd.

Sep 26 Wed Supposed to Rain today

Wednesday, Sep 26 2012

Supposed to rain today.
Also 41st day since Sail aunt passed away.

Trying to get some objective and motivate myself, so far not able to get any degree of leverage.

What is it that I want to do, what should I do ?
Tried shaving hair, tried to study something, but was not able to focus for more than 12 pages.
Should I try cooking the salmon curry, that I have not tired for long?

Car battery is down, should I try to start it and then go for a spin?

Wish I had lots of money in the 100s of millions, all invested and giving me a steady source of income. Then I could just take off traveling to different destinations around the world.
Well that would mean that I am lazy and not willing to contribute to the society I live and are a person freely living of the hard work done by others.
:( a real but sad thought.

So oh god please get me working and leading a peaceful, happy and satisfied life.

Sep 25, stream of thoughts

Tuesday Sep 25 2012

Woke up with a stream of thoughts to improve self..

Ended up not going yesterday to the meditation in downtown and hence salsa.
So went for a walk and ended up jogging a bit. Suddenly felt all kinds of tensions in the leg muscles and nerves. Like they suddenly woke up.

Well atleast can feel the pain today morning. good sign. But also feel the affects of over eating all kinds of junk in the evening. Fell like an accumulation of all the fat around the waist. Well thats motivation for doing more stomach crunches.

One of the highlights of yesterday was that I did not talk with any one. Just one brief vist to the bank and a few words there with the associate.

Kind of weird way in which my life is going. Feeling a bit more healthier than last week.
But need to start exercising my brains which has been in a kind of traumatic mode with all kinds of night mares and lose of peace the past 2 and half months.

Should I call Ra and kind of touch base with him again for any openings.... last week ended up leaving msg.

Its kind of confusing with the Visa too now, since I made a visit out side of US after having the h1 approved. now have to try to figure out what and which i94 would be valid.

Just checked my BMI, its on the border of the higher side of normal.
Need to get down the waist, rather the area of stomach which is jutting out with all the junk food and resulting gases that gets produced by the junk food and resulting in the expansion or outward push of the stomach muscles.

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http://www.webmd.com/cholesterol-management/tc/high-triglycerides-overview

A blood test that measures your cholesterol also measures your triglycerides. For a general idea about your triglycerides level, compare your test results to the following:

• Normal is less than 150.
• Borderline-high is 150 to 199.
• High is 200 to 499.
• Very high is 500 or higher.

What causes high triglycerides?

High triglycerides are usually caused by other conditions, such as:

• Obesity.
• Poorly controlled diabetes.
• An underactive thyroid (hypothyroidism).
• Kidney disease.
• Regularly eating more calories than you burn.
• Drinking a lot of alcohol.

Certain medicines may also raise triglycerides. These medicines include:

• Tamoxifen.
• Steroids.
• Beta-blockers.
• Diuretics.
• Estrogen.
• Birth control pills.

In a few cases, high triglycerides also can run in families.

What are the symptoms?

High triglycerides usually don't cause symptoms.

But if your high triglycerides are caused by a genetic condition, you may see fatty deposits under your skin. These are called xanthomas (say "zan-THOH-muhs").

How can you lower your high triglycerides?

You can make diet and lifestyle changes to help lower your levels.

• Stay at a healthy weight.
• Limit fats and sugars in your diet.
• Be more active.
• Quit smoking.
• Limit alcohol.