Oct 23 2012

Tusday Oct 23 2012

"""A roadblock of sorts will appear in the second half of the month as the Sun moves into Scorpio on October 23. In and of itself, this transit simply represents a change of focus. In this case, however, the Sun is activating the very same traits Saturn is trying to reign in. Adding to this tension, the Sun will butt heads with Saturn on October 25, leaving you feeling a bit downbeat and intensely secretive.""

Got a call for an opening, but they were looking for someone with lots of Manager exp.

Bummer again.

Got another call,,, asking me to be ready to receive the 5 week notice from HR.
 Here we go again, held at ransom of the world and its crazy twists and turns.

Depressing feeling sweeping over me, the weather not helping either with its gloomy over cast of clouds.

A bit scared thinking of the hard time I had in Canada been unemployed and worrying to pay my bills. Hate to go back to India and face up to the red-neck characters who are among the village relatives.

Kind of really feeling sick now, mostly the dread of the unknown, fear of hitting lows and becoming dependent on others. Not the way I would like to live.

Who else to blame, other than self. Reasoning can be so diverse. Could end up blaming myself and feeling bad about the choices I made on the opportunities I must have done different.

But then again in the same way able to reason that, given the circumstances of laziness, lack of motivation, lack of concrete will, I would probably have made the same call.