Happy day

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

After going to sleep early yesterday, it felt nice to wake up at 5am and be at work by 7:50. Had taken the 7:30 shuttle.

Felt nice reading Evas quote for the day. ""The body is your tool, the mind is your identity, the soul is you and the whole world within. All three are essential and all three need to be nurtured every day.""

So true, we often get focused on improving one area we tend to forget the other. And then the on going temptations of the modern world. Mostly TV, but again the amount of information one gains is also tremendus, which if not exposed to would lead to ignorance..... again a catch 22 scenario.

How does one bring about a balance here? that is an on going scenario of self improvement in every ones life...

Afternoon took the shuttle to the bank closer to my house and got my checkbook, which was forwarded from the branch I opened the account at on Sunday.

Then went to the PC center for getting the Hard disk they had taken for imaging. They said that they have it ready and so went there again with my work lap top. Only to have the lady say that my hard disk is showing 100% free, that means all the data is lost.

Bummer.... so had to come back and start with the fresh installation of softwares....

Not sure why I am kind of facing so many obstructions. now not really keen on moving to India either. Got to see what in store,,,,, Even the plan to travel in India with Eva has wiped out now that she seems to be in love with another guy. Wonder what happend to Amit. Did he also turn her down like Louis? She seemed pretty pissed at him. And on with Ritish Jain. Good for her to be able to change guys so frequently. well how she does it only she knows. Atleast I cannot think of going for another for a long time to come.

Guess she is an expert now at switching from one guy to another. All the signs were already there. Just that I let my self be fooled into believing that there is something special there and that she was different from the other gals. And with parents from both sides involved, I let myself into it deeper. IT had to happen to teach me something.

Really interested to see how and where her life will take her and where mine will take.. But deep inside I really wish her the best and hope she finds true love and happiness in her life all along and what ever she chooses .... Thou feel and want it to have happened between us. But I guess there is too much of personalty clash on my end to tolerate the feelings of Jealousy that I would feel when I see my women kiss some other guy on the lips.
Don't think that is something I could live with.,, the constant feelings of someone hitting me in the stomach every time she kisses some guy on the lips..... naww too much for me to handle.
Hopefully she finds some guy who meets her specification.

And hopefully its someone she really loves and not just some guy she chooses based on that guy meeting some qualifying parameters.

Hope she realises that love is something deeper than just meeting the qualifying standards and requirements.... its much deeper and from the bottom of the heart.
Guess I was lucky in a way to know that I was capable and I am capable of loving someone very deeply and letting myself be open to hurt and let myself be hurt repeatedly.... all in the name of love.

:)

But then the questions,
why did we end up together if we were not ment to be ?
why did we have to go thru the pain of expectations and hope crashing down?

oh why why why?

if it was not ment to be, why did circumstance bring us together in such a magical way.
It was like everything was falling into place at the right moment and leading us to be together. Thou many times I just wanted to pull back and was hurt on the way cause of her thought less actions or was it her own little girl naivety. Yet everytime I was pulling back, got sucked into it with greater force.

Ahhhhh why is life so confusing.