Saturday May 10 2014
Running around for cleaning up the place, and waiting for the car to be picked up. got picked up around 1:30pm
around 4:15 butterfly smile comes in, so we load her car with the stuff that I had. cooking pots and a few food stuff.
then head to remedy for tea... ahhh was not sure how it would go,, but an hour and half just flew away. touched on great topics and amazing intelligent conversation.
It was heart breaking for me to see her go aroun 615... why is the universe showing me someone who meets all the crieteria of a soul mate and then not letting us unite!?
Feels like a cruel joke.
Asked her if I could interest her for persian lunch tomorrow, to which she declined.. ah well I tried.. more than 200%.... thats 100% for me and 100% for her.....
well looks like she is in a different place and plane than I am.....
summary......
Its one sided..physical attraction on my side... We hardly know each other... And i leave for LA today.... She so matches the criteria of an ideal soul mate. ... Happy to have met someone like her...and heart broken at the same time... After i put that post up..we met for coffee and had another round of wonderful conversation... For about 2 hrs.. Then she had to go... And it started feeling like the universe was playing a joke...
kind of reminded me about the same thing that happened in indiana .. just that its just a switch of my direction of move,, and I had just been in Edmonton for about 2 months... did not even know her name for 2 weeks after I was impacted by her smile.. was trying to pull back,, then we became friends on FB,,,, not much interaction... so told her how I was impacted by her smile a day before I left for LA (2 weeks ago).. she was nice and wonderful about it.
we both realize that its just a physical attraction on my side and we hardly know each other.. and maybe we will one day meet when I return to Edmonton over coffee...... so subsequent ot my move to LA,, when I was about to get back to Edmonton on tuesday, Told her about it and that we should meet for coffee sometime when I am here... long story, short,
as fate makes things work,, we met on wednesday as she came to my apartment...and as I was dumping some kitchen stuff.. talked for a few mins.. then on thrusday at the salsa club,, a bit of an awkard meeting saw her dancing very closly with some guy,, thougth that it was her BF... on friday she invited me for dinner.... terriffic conversation for about 2 hrs and then a bit of salsa,,,,, so I told her hey we have to meet for our coffee.. she was reluctant.... then towards the end of the night she said hey I think we can meet for Tea on sat afternoon.. she has a tight scheduled life of activities, dance classes she is helping with ,, ,, so was not expecting much,, as I also had to leave the next day...
That 1.5 hrs of conversation and things we had in common,, blew my mind even more.. felt like she is closest I have ever come to knowing that there is someone meeting the criteria of "the women of my dreams".... and then it started sucking....
==========
evening went to tumblwe with mark, who was trying to motivte me by asking me to forget her as it does not seem to have potential for growth as I leave on sunday....
Obiviously if she had anywhere near to the same kind of feelings she would have put everything else on hold... but it was not ment to be.
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Friday, May 9, 2014
May 09 2014. dinner or no dinner with the object of my affection
Friday, May 09 2014.
. dinner or no dinner with the object of my affection!!???
Kind of weirded out by the dance with her yesterday night..
had better connection with all the others.. it was like the worst dance with the most important person in my life and that sucks and hurts big time.....
"It kind of sucks and hurts when the best dance of the night and connection is with many amazing strangers and the worst is with the love and soulmate of your life [atleast the love and soul mate of my life in my imagination]....
M
Turns out my fears were not valid. she said she is single again ,, broke up with boyfriend 2 weeks ago.... kind of felt bad and strange that this was happening to her.
Had gone over to the MKT place for the "run for Dad" pre run party. she turned up around 6:15 ,, 6:20.. met her volunteering friend. who it seems was her room mate in vienna.
Had a brief conversation with her upto 8pm.. ranging from me foolishly talking about spanish and arab history and its links. and about black pepper..
she had to leave by 8pm..... to go to the salsa and be there volunteering...
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My heart
For days they were Lost
For weeks they were crying,
For months they were locked
For years they were trapped.
And just that smile from a beautiful angel,
melted the walls and barbed wires.
liberated the little baby butterflies
from cocoon of misery they were trapped in
... thank you , thank you, thank you.
" The Girl with the Butterfly Smile "
. dinner or no dinner with the object of my affection!!???
Kind of weirded out by the dance with her yesterday night..
had better connection with all the others.. it was like the worst dance with the most important person in my life and that sucks and hurts big time.....
"It kind of sucks and hurts when the best dance of the night and connection is with many amazing strangers and the worst is with the love and soulmate of your life [atleast the love and soul mate of my life in my imagination]....
M
hej ... so about the MKT event ... i just saw that it is over at 7 pm ... there will still be food and drinks and my friend can join us after 7 (she volunteers until 7) but i can make it to be there at 6 pm so they get some donations from my consumption there so long story short: are you available to be there at 6 pm?
V
for you,, any time any where
===========================
V
for you,, any time any where
===========================
ITs dauntingly hurting to see the object of my affection looking dottingly with all her baby faced sincere innocence at another , who in turn does not seem to show the same level of intensity or reciprocal feeling or interest. more like using her as a intermittent stepping stage or a temporary rest area break in his own journey.... :(
==============================
==============================
Turns out my fears were not valid. she said she is single again ,, broke up with boyfriend 2 weeks ago.... kind of felt bad and strange that this was happening to her.
Had gone over to the MKT place for the "run for Dad" pre run party. she turned up around 6:15 ,, 6:20.. met her volunteering friend. who it seems was her room mate in vienna.
Had a brief conversation with her upto 8pm.. ranging from me foolishly talking about spanish and arab history and its links. and about black pepper..
she had to leave by 8pm..... to go to the salsa and be there volunteering...
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My heart
For days they were Lost
For weeks they were crying,
For months they were locked
For years they were trapped.
And just that smile from a beautiful angel,
melted the walls and barbed wires.
liberated the little baby butterflies
from cocoon of misery they were trapped in
... thank you , thank you, thank you.
A smile so beautiful,,
that every time she smiled....
butterflies just fluttered and danced around in joy....
sunlight bounced of their wings
such that it made the northern lights look pale .....
that every time she smiled....
butterflies just fluttered and danced around in joy....
sunlight bounced of their wings
such that it made the northern lights look pale .....
The lights twisted, turned, bounced of the million soft wings in heavenly splendor...
Oh Girl with the Butter Fly Smile
you make me feel so Shy...
you make me feel so Shy...
Dreams and thoughts I am filled with
that my eyes are always twinkling with stars
that my eyes are always twinkling with stars
Your lovely round baby eyes
filled with gentle innocence just flushes my heart
lil lolipop hands
I held and danced to your sweetness.
filled with gentle innocence just flushes my heart
lil lolipop hands
I held and danced to your sweetness.
The touch of your Soft cheeks feels
soothing and nourishing my torn soul.
soothing and nourishing my torn soul.
,,,ohhhh if only god was human,
he would probably understand that its not right to emotionally torture people...
he would probably understand that its not right to emotionally torture people...
***********************
Why is it
.....Everywhere I see
............Everyone I see
..I see
...........The face, with the Butterfly smile.
***********************
Why is it
.....Everywhere I see
............Everyone I see
..I see
...........The face, with the Butterfly smile.
***********************
It doesn’t take me much
It doesn’t take me much
----------------------
It doesn't take me much to fall in love,
just a sweet lil gal with flowing hairs.
The twinkling beauty in her eyes,
matching the beauty of her smile.
It doesn't take me much to fall for a gal.
Just a simple gal with a tender caring heart.
It doesn't take me much to fall for a gal.
Just a simple gal whose eyes sparkle when our eyes meet.......
----------------------
It doesn't take me much to fall in love,
just a sweet lil gal with flowing hairs.
The twinkling beauty in her eyes,
matching the beauty of her smile.
It doesn't take me much to fall for a gal.
Just a simple gal with a tender caring heart.
It doesn't take me much to fall for a gal.
Just a simple gal whose eyes sparkle when our eyes meet.......
Thursday, May 8, 2014
May 08 2014 - Movers
Thursday May 08 2014
The movers came in aorund 10 and left around 12.
had a weird night of waking up in night mares, thinking that I was missing the flight.
yesterday, mss butterfly smile came to my home.. in a weird twist of events and we had a very very brief talk, was nervous as hell and trying to play kool..
was intersting to see her at such close quarters, sweet, open, a very pleasent way of explaining things.
only bummer was the use of drugs,,,
does she want to use it in the future.
latte in the eveing went to salsa at fky budda.. met the tango gal elain and we went a restuaurant and sat down to talk.
butter fly gal wants to take me out for dinner tomorrow.
went out to OTR.... after driving around for a bit and watching the sun in the western horizon . had the rest of the pizza.. kind had a very very odd feeling of not been in a happy place of having things that I would like to have,,,,, love of a wonderful women.
went to on the rocks and got into the class for basics.
Then for some reason, connected with a hot lady,,, eye to eye,, who latter came over and asked me to dance...
it was a great odd kind of connection.. she said she would come and get me on the bachata and latter on she did ,, and boy of boy,, after a very very long time got to dance bachata in a very very sensual way.
Then the story of the butter fly gal... seems to be kind of weired...Felt as thou she was avoiding me. Well maybe my expectation were raised too high,, its her truf, and been one of the divas, was surely in demand ..
was disappointed when she said no to a merengue... something I wanted to test our connection on..
The salsa on vivo,, was also a bit odd... with her focusing on her hand styling and her attention getting diverted towards people around.... well thats the path of the performer,, not in the non-performer tub I am in that of trying to find connection between partners and not caring about the rest of the world... thou it would be flattering and in a different world of its own.
she seemed to be only dancing bachata with that one guy,, really felt pangs of jealousy.. but also felt that he did not care much about her.... she seems to be just another stepping stone for him..
and she seemed to be into him and looking for his approval.
well, well,,,,,, story of my love life,, always in love with someone who is really in love with someone else....
It was sweet of her to invite me for dinner in the morning.. but after the interaction tonite
not sure where that stands..
Will she pull an selfish eva on me?
suddenly canceling with no regard to the others life and feelings?
If she does,, ,, then I need to go evaluate again why I am been drawn towards women like that, even after 5 years,, the same pattern? atleast in this case I would know what to happened historically.
Its heart,,,, wrenching, tingling to,, see someone you love and deam of them loving you... showing the same kind of loving , dotting love to someone else... and hurting more ,, when you see them treat you love like they are just stepping stone and don't care much for who seems to be the love of your life.
The movers came in aorund 10 and left around 12.
had a weird night of waking up in night mares, thinking that I was missing the flight.
yesterday, mss butterfly smile came to my home.. in a weird twist of events and we had a very very brief talk, was nervous as hell and trying to play kool..
was intersting to see her at such close quarters, sweet, open, a very pleasent way of explaining things.
only bummer was the use of drugs,,,
does she want to use it in the future.
latte in the eveing went to salsa at fky budda.. met the tango gal elain and we went a restuaurant and sat down to talk.
butter fly gal wants to take me out for dinner tomorrow.
went out to OTR.... after driving around for a bit and watching the sun in the western horizon . had the rest of the pizza.. kind had a very very odd feeling of not been in a happy place of having things that I would like to have,,,,, love of a wonderful women.
went to on the rocks and got into the class for basics.
Then for some reason, connected with a hot lady,,, eye to eye,, who latter came over and asked me to dance...
it was a great odd kind of connection.. she said she would come and get me on the bachata and latter on she did ,, and boy of boy,, after a very very long time got to dance bachata in a very very sensual way.
Then the story of the butter fly gal... seems to be kind of weired...Felt as thou she was avoiding me. Well maybe my expectation were raised too high,, its her truf, and been one of the divas, was surely in demand ..
was disappointed when she said no to a merengue... something I wanted to test our connection on..
The salsa on vivo,, was also a bit odd... with her focusing on her hand styling and her attention getting diverted towards people around.... well thats the path of the performer,, not in the non-performer tub I am in that of trying to find connection between partners and not caring about the rest of the world... thou it would be flattering and in a different world of its own.
she seemed to be only dancing bachata with that one guy,, really felt pangs of jealousy.. but also felt that he did not care much about her.... she seems to be just another stepping stone for him..
and she seemed to be into him and looking for his approval.
well, well,,,,,, story of my love life,, always in love with someone who is really in love with someone else....
It was sweet of her to invite me for dinner in the morning.. but after the interaction tonite
not sure where that stands..
Will she pull an selfish eva on me?
suddenly canceling with no regard to the others life and feelings?
If she does,, ,, then I need to go evaluate again why I am been drawn towards women like that, even after 5 years,, the same pattern? atleast in this case I would know what to happened historically.
Its heart,,,, wrenching, tingling to,, see someone you love and deam of them loving you... showing the same kind of loving , dotting love to someone else... and hurting more ,, when you see them treat you love like they are just stepping stone and don't care much for who seems to be the love of your life.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
May 06 2014... to Edmonton
Tuesday May 06 2014
ITs going to be a very long day.. demos, cable set up (now doubtful)... and the long 6 hrs of travel to edmonton,, not to mention starting off from work around 1pm and reaching home around 1 or 2.. that will be 12 hrs door to door.
What a hectic past few days
loosing the iPhone on Sunday was one of the craziest things that happened. screwed up my sunday... into monday.
got a new one paying $700 at the apple store.
wooo,, it was heart warming to get the mail from the butterfly smile...
not sure what her real deal is, single or taken?
well there is no scope for anything to happen there as the logistics are too many and against any smooth run even if she is single.
But then it has been a good source of inspiring moments just cause of her smile.. that liberated the bonded butterflies in my heart... phew after such a long time.
So nice to know that i can still feel those feelings.
ITs going to be a very long day.. demos, cable set up (now doubtful)... and the long 6 hrs of travel to edmonton,, not to mention starting off from work around 1pm and reaching home around 1 or 2.. that will be 12 hrs door to door.
What a hectic past few days
loosing the iPhone on Sunday was one of the craziest things that happened. screwed up my sunday... into monday.
got a new one paying $700 at the apple store.
wooo,, it was heart warming to get the mail from the butterfly smile...
not sure what her real deal is, single or taken?
well there is no scope for anything to happen there as the logistics are too many and against any smooth run even if she is single.
But then it has been a good source of inspiring moments just cause of her smile.. that liberated the bonded butterflies in my heart... phew after such a long time.
So nice to know that i can still feel those feelings.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Apr-29 2014. My heart and butterfly smile
Tuesday Apr-29 2014.
My heart
For days they were Lost
For weeks they were crying,
For months they were locked
For years they were trapped.
And just that smile from a beautiful angel,
melted the walls and barbed wires.
liberated the little baby butterflies
from cocoon of misery they were trapped in
... thank you , thank you, thank you.
" The Girl with the Butterfly Smile "
My heart
For days they were Lost
For weeks they were crying,
For months they were locked
For years they were trapped.
And just that smile from a beautiful angel,
melted the walls and barbed wires.
liberated the little baby butterflies
from cocoon of misery they were trapped in
... thank you , thank you, thank you.
A smile so beautiful,,
that every time she smiled....
butterflies just fluttered and danced around in joy....
sunlight bounced of their wings
such that it made the northern lights look pale .....
The lights twisted, turned, bounced of the million soft wings in heavenly splendor...
Oh Girl with the Butter Fly Smile
you make me feel so Shy...
Dreams and thoughts I am filled with
that my eyes are always twinkling with stars
Your lovely round baby eyes
filled with gentle innocence just flushes my heart
lil lolipop hands
I held and danced to your sweetness.
lil lolipop hands
I held and danced to your sweetness.
The touch of your Soft cheeks feels
soothing and nourishing my torn soul.
soothing and nourishing my torn soul.
,,,ohhhh if only god was human,
he would probably understand that its not right to emotionally torture people...
***********************
Why is it
.....Everywhere I see
............Everyone I see
..I see
...........The face, with the Butterfly smile.
***********************
Why is it
.....Everywhere I see
............Everyone I see
..I see
...........The face, with the Butterfly smile.
***********************
It doesn’t take me much
It doesn’t take me much
----------------------
It doesn't take me much to fall in love,
just a sweet lil gal with flowing hairs.
The twinkling beauty in her eyes,
matching the beauty of her smile.
It doesn't take me much to fall for a gal.
Just a simple gal with a tender caring heart.
It doesn't take me much to fall for a gal.
Just a simple gal whose eyes sparkle when our eyes meet.......
----------------------
It doesn't take me much to fall in love,
just a sweet lil gal with flowing hairs.
The twinkling beauty in her eyes,
matching the beauty of her smile.
It doesn't take me much to fall for a gal.
Just a simple gal with a tender caring heart.
It doesn't take me much to fall for a gal.
Just a simple gal whose eyes sparkle when our eyes meet.......
Apr 28 2014, Epiphany
Monday Apr 28 2014,
Epiphany on a sleepless weekend :
There is difference between.....
Loving the idea of been in love with someone and loving who they really are....
Books and Stories helps us Imagine,
Imagination helps us Dream ,
Dreams give us Hope.
Hope leads to Desire.
Desire gives us Drive,
Drive helps us improve ourselves.
- Guru Vino ,,, hehehehe..... laughter cures all
26 April
thou the Edmonton weather was not great, the people there are ,,,,
well just been in LA for about 4 days now and it feels like I have been here for lot more, too many things happening all at the same time.
But really miss the simple, down to earth, sweetness of Edmonton.....
My wishes are very simple and down to earth.. well kind off ,, but the universe does not seem to agree and says,, oops sorry clerical error by the angles...
Epiphany on a sleepless weekend :
There is difference between.....
Loving the idea of been in love with someone and loving who they really are....
Books and Stories helps us Imagine,
Imagination helps us Dream ,
Dreams give us Hope.
Hope leads to Desire.
Desire gives us Drive,
Drive helps us improve ourselves.
- Guru Vino ,,, hehehehe..... laughter cures all
26 April
thou the Edmonton weather was not great, the people there are ,,,,
well just been in LA for about 4 days now and it feels like I have been here for lot more, too many things happening all at the same time.
But really miss the simple, down to earth, sweetness of Edmonton.....
My wishes are very simple and down to earth.. well kind off ,, but the universe does not seem to agree and says,, oops sorry clerical error by the angles...
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Apr 26 2014 New Apt lease, beach
Saturday, Apr 26 2014
Applied and booked the new apt on pine.
was fascinating to discover that it was walking distance from the beach.
Sent docs to movers ,,, now to see if we can coordinate the dates.
Sweet Vedanta : To steal the heart of the person who stole your heart and live together happily ever after.. ;)
Applied and booked the new apt on pine.
was fascinating to discover that it was walking distance from the beach.
Sent docs to movers ,,, now to see if we can coordinate the dates.
Sweet Vedanta : To steal the heart of the person who stole your heart and live together happily ever after.. ;)
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