DID I JUST MISS “THE LOVE OF MY LIFE”, THE ONCE IN A LIFE TIME - CONNECTION ????

DID I JUST MISS “THE LOVE OF MY LIFE”, THE ONCE IN A LIFE TIME - CONNECTION ????

Our eyes, met across the aisle, when I entered the door and headed towards my seat in the plane  - THE CONNECTION. 

Eyes Locked, in what feels even now (after about 14 years) - THE CONNECTION.

The Eye lock, for a few seconds, followed by the instant synchronized smile as our eyes lite up and sparks flew  - THE CONNECTION.

Both a bit taken aback, the awkward shyness, each with eyes glowing in excitement, wanting to impress, help and please the other  - THE CONNECTION.

The connection was obviously special and natural, multiple times, paths crossed, on a 12 hrs flight across oceans and continents  - THE CONNECTION.

The frequent blushing as paths crossed, the uneasiness of suppressed excited energies, brain freeze, like breaks applied to the gust of love energy trying to reach out, touch and connect  - THE CONNECTION.

The awkward, few tango of words, as cultures and accents collided, but the eyes locked into each other  - THE CONNECTION.

The eye lock, and smile between two strangers, with the others in the group looking on with confused expression  - THE CONNECTION.

Her kindness, overflowing and revealing in her actions, towards an unaccompanied kid on the flight, shooting up the evolving LOVE in my heart, with more love  - THE CONNECTION.

12 hrs of crisscrossing paths, ending with me left with a life time of regret, for not having the courage and stepping up - THE CONNECTION.

Qatar Airways, JFK to DOH on my way to CCJ on the fateful day of July-15-2012 .....  THE ONCE IN A LIFE TIME - CONNECTION !!!!!

She : Beautiful, lovely and KIND, Caring Air-hostess of Qatar Airways, South African origin.

Me : Passenger on the Qatar Airways Flight from JFK to DOH on my way to CCJ, because my mom was hospitalized. Filled with guilt for having feelings churning in me in a time of family crises. 

****************

some where in between, I was feeling thirsty when I was walking up and down the aisle, to stretch out,, so feeling thirst,,, I stepped into the middle booth (where the air hostess have a staging point for food),
no one was inside, I went in was about to pick up the plastic glass of water and suddenly she came with a huge smile.
 I was a bit taken aback, like she caught me stealing something , I smiled back and said, I came for the water.
She walked close to me, our eyes locked, I was feeling bad that, I thought, she caught me doing something bad, but she picked up the glass of water and gave it to me... phew what a relief,,, 

it was awakard situation I was in,, with my mom in hospital and me having feeling for this wonderful girl,,,, guilt,,

MEN ALSO NEED LOVE AND HELP

 

MEN ALSO NEED LOVE AND HELP

1. MEN ALSO NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO

Women usually wait for the man to be there to listen to them, but men also need a shoulder to lean on. Lady, stop for a moment and wait for your man to be there for you, it's not just about you, you're not the only one who has problems or needs a space to vent. In the same way that you tell your man everything because you trust him, make him trust you and he will tell you everything.

2. MEN ALSO NEED TO BE LOOKED FOR.

During dates and intimate conversations, women expect the man to ask questions and follow them, but the man also needs you to show interest in him, ask him questions and to to follow him.

3. MEN ALSO NEED A HUG.

The man is expected to give hugs and good hugs, but men also need the woman to approach him and hug him. Behind the strong ego mask that men wear, there is a gentle heart that also needs tender and loving care. A heart is a heart, whether it belongs to a man or a woman.

4. MEN ALSO NEED TO BE PROTECTED

When you speak ill of a woman or tarnish her name, your man is expected to defend her. But ma'am, also protect your man's honor when attacked, support him in private and in public.

5. MEN ALSO NEED TO BE TOLD "I LOVE YOU"

Although men don't show many emotions, they love it when the woman they love tells them "I love you." Yes, men are weird, they don't usually say these words, but they need to listen. If she stops saying them, he's afraid of losing her.

6. MEN ALSO NEED TO BE PAMPERED.

Men also love gifts, everyone: men or women. The question is, what exactly will please you? Know your tastes, stimulate your ego, laise it, celebrate your achievements, big or small.

7. MEN ALSO NEED TO FIGHT FOR THEM.

Men love a woman who fights for her relationship/marriage. Men can't save love alone, she must fight for him just like him...

8. MEN ALSO NEED YOU TO PRAY FOR THEM.

The man is expected to be the high priest in the relationship/marriage. But men also need the woman to cover them with prayers, for the woman to go to the spiritual battle and growth with him, and to protect him when he feels hurt.

9. MEN ALSO NEED TO BE ROMANTICIZED.

The man is expected to be the one who courts and enchants. But love is better when it is mutual. Lady, enchant your man, be daring sometimes, melt his heart, take it hard; men love a strong woman who can bring her special romance and her spark to the equation.

10. MEN ALSO NEED COMFORT

Men also cry, suffer, cry even if you can't see the tears. In the privacy of the two, hidden from the public; lady, console him, tell him that everything will be fine

11. MEN ALSO NEED PRAISE.

Women expect men to be generous with compliments. But men also prosper with appreciation; go ahead ma'am, don't be silent about his goodness, tell him what you love about him, that he looks and smells good, that there is no other man like him, that he is sexy and wonderful (if he means it).

12. MEN ALSO NEED A MASSAGE.

A woman's dream is to have a man who massages her easily; when she gets home after a long day, he rubs her shoulders, massages her feet, attends to her tension when she is pregnant. But men also have tensions, let your feminine hands detonate those tension bombs.

13. MEN ALSO NEED A WIFE TO START SEX.

Men are often supposed to think about sex constantly and therefore it is the man who should initiate sex. But, ma'am, your spouse will love that you take control from time to time. Excite him, put him in a mood; you know where to touch and lick so that he is up to the circumstances. He needs to know that you want your sex as much as he wants yours.

14. MEN ALSO NEED TO BE TAKEN CARE OF.

What a gentleman should do is anticipate the needs of the woman and satisfy them. What a lady should do is anticipate the man's needs and satisfy them; please him, he is her big baby.

15. MEN ALSO NEED THAT SURPRISE CALL OR TEXT MESSAGE.

Women often look at their phones waiting for the man to call or say "You haven't called me in two days." But men also love calls and surprise text messages; Approach him and put a smile on his face. Instead of crucifying him for not calling you, call him.

16. MEN ALSO NEED LOYALTY.

Men are often expected to be cheaters and dogs, they are very much required not to start adventures. But men also need their women to be faithful and not flirt.

17. MEN ALSO NEED SECURITY.

Men get jealous easily. They, like women, can become insecure and need the woman to ease their fears in a way that says "I only love you. I'm not going anywhere, years later you'll still be who I love."

18. MEN ALSO NEED FINANCIAL GESTURES.

The man is expected to be the supplier, and many women say "Your money is our money, my money is my money." But sometimes a man may encounter financial obstacles and needs an understanding woman to help him tackle the challenges at hand.

Nov-29-2024 Friday Remembering Days with dad, after watching the movie PAZHANJAN PRANAYAM >>>

 Nov-29-2024 Friday Remembering Days with dad, after watching the movie 

PAZHANJAN PRANAYAM  >>>  12:30 noon, just finished watching a Malayalam movie [PAZHANJAN PRANAYAM], kind of story of a guy 40 plus years, not married, looking to get married, gave up job as a teacher to take care of his dad. 

Loads of similarities, that made me think of the beautiful time I spent with my dad. Something my brother Anup was not able to experience and never will know. Kind of started to tear me up and fill up my eyes. 

But the twist is that, as with all movies and dreams, the guy meets a down to earth gal finally and they connect very well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byvtiPQrVv4  

DAD : I wish I had known, to love him better !!!!!

 

I wish I had known

To take care of him, better

I wish I had known

To Nurse him, better

I wish I had known

To respond to him, better

I wish I had known

To make him happier, better

I wish I had known

To make him smile, better

I wish I had known

To feed him, better

I wish I had known

To dress him, better

I wish I had known

To clean him up, better

I wish I had known

To walk him, better

I wish I had known

To take him around, better

I wish I had known

To massage him, better

I wish I had known

To listen to him, better

I wish I had known

To understand him , better

I wish I had known

To know him , better

I wish I had known

To spend time with him, better

I wish I had known

To treat him, better

I wish I had known

To respect him, better

I wish I had known

To learn from him, better

I wish I had known

To hold his hands, better

I wish I had known

To give him, better

I wish I had known

To give him the best, better

I wish I had known

To Comfort him, better

I wish I had known

To ease his pain, better

I wish I had known

To make his life, better 

I wish I had known

To love him , better

Missing dad !!! Every day, Every moment ,,,,, Missing his smile every morning, when I wake him up and get him ready for the day,,

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Caring out of love v/s out of sense of duty or obligation !!

 It is one of the reasons I think its difficult to find someone to do the care-giving work to our satisfaction, Since almost all of them do it out of the obligation of getting paid or if its a relative, they do it out of sense of society-imposed duty,,,
which for sure helps in getting them started, but then its just a matter of time before their good behavior collapses and they start getting angry and resentful, And they tend to take it out on the very person they are supposed to care for and on others.

the feeling of energy drained out and not even able to call up any one for, just a chat.... the few hours I get for myself,, I just collapse in bed... Now its past 2am and this is the time I really get to do any kind of catch up ,, well that is if I have the energy for that...  just cannot believe that its been over 4 years and almost end of 5th year , with out even a day off.... 

But one thing I had the fortune of realizing is (courtesy of some malu movie) that ,,, if you are doing things out of a sense of duty, responsibility or obligation,,,, soon you will start getting frustrated and angry ... but if you do it with a sense of love and learn to love doing it,,, energy level is totally different.... And with 5 years just flying by, tells a lot .... 

Dementia, a cruel demon !

 

*************************** May-8-2022 Sunday

Dementia,,, a cruel demon, that turns grown men into a baby, in mentality and behavior.

Dementia,,, a cruel demon, that tortures the loved ones who are themselves lost and trying to comprehend about their loved ones change in behavior..

,,, the struggle to remember, what was once a no-brainier,

the struggle to remember where the toilet was,

reaching the toilet and the struggle to remember, why one was there,

the struggle to remember to drink water,

the struggle to remember how to eat, what to eat.

Sitting down to eat, spoon in hand, staring at the food and wondering , what am I supposed to do now ??

The struggle or rather the inability to remember to brush ones teeth and how to brush !!?? ......

The STRUGGLE !!!

That HEART WARMING golden moment, when dad looks at you, recognizes you after days of blank stares, smiles and seem to say " I am glad, I have you in my corner " !!!!! <3 fills up my heart and makes every moment spent with him, worth it.. 😍