Wednesday, Aug 31 2011
hmmm what a week, earth quake, hurricane, getting lost and stuck cause of flooding in the roads. talking with mom after the hurricane, cooking kapa and automatically having something great to eat. wow. There is a reason why they say, that some people are good cooks. Things they cook turn out to be good to eat. aww I think its just practice.
Borders going out of business and I have been going there almost every day to read some book or buy something at about 50% discount.
Anyways its good to know that I did not get drowned in the flood or loose anything.
Relatively this week seems to be calm, just like it was before the storm.
need to complete some more of the course, just not able to focus and do something productive. Makes me wonder do I have ADD.
Feeling low in confidence with each passing day and not having a job, living in a foreign country with no friends and family around, meaning no emotional support, when the feelings of low hits me.
What and where is my life taking me, the uncertainty of it all. Maybe that is something that everyone is going thru is some form or other in their life.
Been single is one of the good things that I am enjoying for quite long now. Kind of liking it that way, instead of having to put up with all the emotional drama and having to be responsible and committed to someone else. So much feeling of freedom.
almost 2am and yet to get anything moving positively, missed out on a good trade a few hrs ago. Well thats life, make choices as and when they are supposed to be made and live with the result. Accountability. :)
Wondering what the future of the world is going to be. is everything going to be motivated by hi-tech and touch screen, voice activation?
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
Aug 26 2011, Friday
Friday, Aug 26 2011
The whole of east coast is bracing up for Ierene the hurricane. How symbolic, that the crazy, destructive force of nature is been named with a female name. Goes on to show why most females are just like hurricanes---> unaccountable, destructive, selfish, self centered and crazy. hehehe never thought of that one before.
But it was so nice meeting and getting to dance with someone sweet, nice and a heart warming smile.
Her smile is so sweet,
That if she was my lover,
I would be the happiest man on earth,
Just the thought of waking up besides a beautiful smiling girl, brimming with warmth and kindness is making my heart go all fuzzy.
when she held the back on my head, like I was her baby, made me feel like the happiest man on earth.
wooooo what a feeling to wake up early morning to images of her smiling face revolving round in my head.
Afternoon : Got a call about an opening in India, suddenly feeling scared and brain is getting filled up with multiple questions and uncertainty.
One sad factor would be about my CAR, love my car, has been with me for the past 7 years traveled in US and Canada. So many memories we created. Guess this is the problem with me, get too sentimental and loyal to things and people I love and don't want to give up even thou it means lots of pain for me.
Sometimes I feel glad to know that my sense of loyalty and commitment is tested and proven to be strong as ever, unlike many that I see, who just see things without any sense of belonging and are cold and calculated like machines.
well will have many things to ship to India may be using the US postal service or maybe some shippers.
Then glad that Nar is buying a huge house, I could present him with most of my furniture.
Ahhhh how my heart is already in pain thinking about been separated from things that have been part of my life.
It was good to see all the pics on facebook of Cha and igo with all the new gals they got to make friends and victims of on a group outing to whistler. hehehe, atleast these gals are not playing dishonest games like eva played at Ossoyos.
What a fool I was. :) good learning exp to not be so naive and not to accept things people say. Because NOT what they say BUT what their actions are will be the full definition of their character.
What a bitch, she was, trying to blame Igo for what she lead him into and then again acting so innocent "why do guys just want to have sex with me"..... hehehe because you are a selfish bitch and when a guy loves you, you have only shown multiple times that you (including with your past ones) that you don't care for them. So naturally a guy who is focused on sex is only trying to protect his own heart and does not want the pain you would cause by your self centered behavior... guess this statement goes for many other girls too, including malini, gi, tam, lisa.....
In retrospect, had I also thought of this as a game and played it like a game, all these bitches would go around telling the same things about me and how men are like this and like that, rather than accepting any accountability on their part....
oh for been the sensitive guy. Well atleast now I know I am not and its driving a few people crazy and up the wall.
Want to have fun, then contact me.
Want to play emotional games, go find a poor, sweet, innocent guy and screw up his life.
hehehehe..
The whole of east coast is bracing up for Ierene the hurricane. How symbolic, that the crazy, destructive force of nature is been named with a female name. Goes on to show why most females are just like hurricanes---> unaccountable, destructive, selfish, self centered and crazy. hehehe never thought of that one before.
But it was so nice meeting and getting to dance with someone sweet, nice and a heart warming smile.
Her smile is so sweet,
That if she was my lover,
I would be the happiest man on earth,
Just the thought of waking up besides a beautiful smiling girl, brimming with warmth and kindness is making my heart go all fuzzy.
when she held the back on my head, like I was her baby, made me feel like the happiest man on earth.
wooooo what a feeling to wake up early morning to images of her smiling face revolving round in my head.
Afternoon : Got a call about an opening in India, suddenly feeling scared and brain is getting filled up with multiple questions and uncertainty.
One sad factor would be about my CAR, love my car, has been with me for the past 7 years traveled in US and Canada. So many memories we created. Guess this is the problem with me, get too sentimental and loyal to things and people I love and don't want to give up even thou it means lots of pain for me.
Sometimes I feel glad to know that my sense of loyalty and commitment is tested and proven to be strong as ever, unlike many that I see, who just see things without any sense of belonging and are cold and calculated like machines.
well will have many things to ship to India may be using the US postal service or maybe some shippers.
Then glad that Nar is buying a huge house, I could present him with most of my furniture.
Ahhhh how my heart is already in pain thinking about been separated from things that have been part of my life.
It was good to see all the pics on facebook of Cha and igo with all the new gals they got to make friends and victims of on a group outing to whistler. hehehe, atleast these gals are not playing dishonest games like eva played at Ossoyos.
What a fool I was. :) good learning exp to not be so naive and not to accept things people say. Because NOT what they say BUT what their actions are will be the full definition of their character.
What a bitch, she was, trying to blame Igo for what she lead him into and then again acting so innocent "why do guys just want to have sex with me"..... hehehe because you are a selfish bitch and when a guy loves you, you have only shown multiple times that you (including with your past ones) that you don't care for them. So naturally a guy who is focused on sex is only trying to protect his own heart and does not want the pain you would cause by your self centered behavior... guess this statement goes for many other girls too, including malini, gi, tam, lisa.....
In retrospect, had I also thought of this as a game and played it like a game, all these bitches would go around telling the same things about me and how men are like this and like that, rather than accepting any accountability on their part....
oh for been the sensitive guy. Well atleast now I know I am not and its driving a few people crazy and up the wall.
Want to have fun, then contact me.
Want to play emotional games, go find a poor, sweet, innocent guy and screw up his life.
hehehehe..
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Aug 23 2011, Earth Quake
Tuesday, Aug 23 2011
Got up early with a purpose of getting things done and then had the online class around 12 on Communication.
Got washing my cloths and in between got going with my breakfast. Multitasking.
Suddenly around 1:50pm the whole apt seemed to shake. I was pissed off that someone in the top apartment was running, maybe someone who was too over weight and was behaving in a very irresponsible manner.
Could see even the curtains shaking. The building was close to falling down with another jump from that person.
Then after sometime got to know on CNBC that there was a minor earth quake, with epi-center in Virginia.
Holly cow, tried to call Anl. Av and naraya, for some reason the calls would not go thru. It was kind of like the 9/11 scenario after the towers fell. no cell phone working.
Then after a few more tries was able to get to them one by one. It was funny how av in the west coast laughed saying that 5.9 kind of earth quake is something they have almost every day. hmmmm h
It was funny to hear the news on CNBC how they were evacuating the building 30 mins after the earth quake hit.
And that they were evacuating the pentagon because some water line broke there. I thought that the pent would be having a stronger structure than the normal buildings here.
Got up early with a purpose of getting things done and then had the online class around 12 on Communication.
Got washing my cloths and in between got going with my breakfast. Multitasking.
Suddenly around 1:50pm the whole apt seemed to shake. I was pissed off that someone in the top apartment was running, maybe someone who was too over weight and was behaving in a very irresponsible manner.
Could see even the curtains shaking. The building was close to falling down with another jump from that person.
Then after sometime got to know on CNBC that there was a minor earth quake, with epi-center in Virginia.
Holly cow, tried to call Anl. Av and naraya, for some reason the calls would not go thru. It was kind of like the 9/11 scenario after the towers fell. no cell phone working.
Then after a few more tries was able to get to them one by one. It was funny how av in the west coast laughed saying that 5.9 kind of earth quake is something they have almost every day. hmmmm h
It was funny to hear the news on CNBC how they were evacuating the building 30 mins after the earth quake hit.
And that they were evacuating the pentagon because some water line broke there. I thought that the pent would be having a stronger structure than the normal buildings here.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Aug 21 2011 Sunday
Sunday, Aug 21 2011
It was very very very nice talking with Dad, ended up giving him some suggestion/advice on happiness and about how we can only do somethings in our control and that we cannot control others and their selfish intentions and mentality.
We have to just let them go and live our own life and find happiness in the things we do to live our life. Because of his own un-happiness and expectation from my kid brother, he ends up been unhappy and in turn increases the unhappiness of my mom and then the whole house is unhappy and in the process causing problems to his own health.
Life is not worth wasting thinking about people and trying to change their selfish behavior. They will not change, they will only make us look more guilty and blame us for their anger and interfering in their selfish objectives.
Hope he understood what I was trying to tell him. But it was a good heart to heart talk after a very long time.
Was a great hike, and it was great to see one of the guys on the hike saving a little baby turtle that got stuck in an abandoned fishing rod. poor thing was struggling to free itself, god only knows for how long.
Then went to princeton Uni museum , it was a good learning exp on ancient cultures.
After that we all went to indian restaurant cross culture.
got back home tired and watched the brazil portugal football world cup final for under 20.
Now the big Q, should I got for todays hike,,, cloudy skies, might as well go.
It was very very very nice talking with Dad, ended up giving him some suggestion/advice on happiness and about how we can only do somethings in our control and that we cannot control others and their selfish intentions and mentality.
We have to just let them go and live our own life and find happiness in the things we do to live our life. Because of his own un-happiness and expectation from my kid brother, he ends up been unhappy and in turn increases the unhappiness of my mom and then the whole house is unhappy and in the process causing problems to his own health.
Life is not worth wasting thinking about people and trying to change their selfish behavior. They will not change, they will only make us look more guilty and blame us for their anger and interfering in their selfish objectives.
Hope he understood what I was trying to tell him. But it was a good heart to heart talk after a very long time.
Was a great hike, and it was great to see one of the guys on the hike saving a little baby turtle that got stuck in an abandoned fishing rod. poor thing was struggling to free itself, god only knows for how long.
Then went to princeton Uni museum , it was a good learning exp on ancient cultures.
After that we all went to indian restaurant cross culture.
got back home tired and watched the brazil portugal football world cup final for under 20.
Now the big Q, should I got for todays hike,,, cloudy skies, might as well go.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Aug 19, 2011, Friday, Weekend
Friday, Aug 19, 2011.
ITs weekend, and so much to write.. will try writing it in parts.
Trying to re-organize my life, trying to get the some good energy flowing in my apt. Just read and got the book with Feng shui on the different adjustments that can be done at home, more like vasthu in the indian context.
Just got my first fish burger from Costco and it seems to be ok. not sure about it full benefits as opposed to the salmon curry I make.
five days of 7:30pm to 10:30 pm of webinars have been exhausting.
Hopefully by next week there will be more stability in my life.
hope I can go to Princeton university museum tomorrow. Always a very good learning exp for me about the past of our world at the museums .
Would be nice to meet someone who has similar inclination to share life with.
ITs weekend, and so much to write.. will try writing it in parts.
Trying to re-organize my life, trying to get the some good energy flowing in my apt. Just read and got the book with Feng shui on the different adjustments that can be done at home, more like vasthu in the indian context.
Just got my first fish burger from Costco and it seems to be ok. not sure about it full benefits as opposed to the salmon curry I make.
five days of 7:30pm to 10:30 pm of webinars have been exhausting.
Hopefully by next week there will be more stability in my life.
hope I can go to Princeton university museum tomorrow. Always a very good learning exp for me about the past of our world at the museums .
Would be nice to meet someone who has similar inclination to share life with.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Aug 17, 2011 , new day of FEELING POSITIVE Energy
Tuesday, Aug, 17 2011
A New day begins, its 1:30am , I am awake, excited and feeling charged. Adrenaline flowing thru, heart beating.
Am I the luckiest person in the world or what. whoooo could complain.
Things change in life so fast and so suddenly you realise. Just like the mnk who sold his Ferari and went off in search of the true meaning. just like Gautam buddha who gave up been a great prince and became a monk.
My life with not that big a drama is still filled with so many changes that seem to come out of nowhere and taking me in directions I never ever imagined.
All I had when I got out of college was to have a steady job, maybe a 1 bedroom house and a vehicle to travel and to be married to a sweet and nice gal who would love me as much as I love her.....
But.... hehehe,,,,, so many different turns, so many different temptations, so many curve balls, so many home runs,
so many different tones and vibrations of sounds,
so many different sense of touch and feel,
so many different beautiful colors and sights,
so many different tastes,
so many different fragrances
So many shades that seem to enliven my 5 senses.
Learning lesson at every step, growing from the experience by analyzing the past and Vinning by not repeating the same mistakes of the past.
every mistake,
if taken with full responsibility,
is another great tool, towards gaining knowledge and wisdom.
A New day begins, its 1:30am , I am awake, excited and feeling charged. Adrenaline flowing thru, heart beating.
Am I the luckiest person in the world or what. whoooo could complain.
Things change in life so fast and so suddenly you realise. Just like the mnk who sold his Ferari and went off in search of the true meaning. just like Gautam buddha who gave up been a great prince and became a monk.
My life with not that big a drama is still filled with so many changes that seem to come out of nowhere and taking me in directions I never ever imagined.
All I had when I got out of college was to have a steady job, maybe a 1 bedroom house and a vehicle to travel and to be married to a sweet and nice gal who would love me as much as I love her.....
But.... hehehe,,,,, so many different turns, so many different temptations, so many curve balls, so many home runs,
so many different tones and vibrations of sounds,
so many different sense of touch and feel,
so many different beautiful colors and sights,
so many different tastes,
so many different fragrances
So many shades that seem to enliven my 5 senses.
Learning lesson at every step, growing from the experience by analyzing the past and Vinning by not repeating the same mistakes of the past.
every mistake,
if taken with full responsibility,
is another great tool, towards gaining knowledge and wisdom.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Aug 16 2011, tues, Shade, chayya, Tea
Tuesday, Aug, 16 2011
Was completely taken in by Chayya, the name so stuck out and it was like been hit between the eyes, bulls eye. One look at her pic and it was like I have known her for ever and have been waiting for someone like her.
Curly hair, intensely sincere eyes and smile with a disarming calmness and peace about her. Lets see how it will go, will we be able to connect eternally or will this be another head fake.
It was good chatting with Raj after a long time and then thinking of our friend Prince who passed away in an accident this week a few years ago. He was a very nice guy.
Latter in the evening was in the 3 hrs online course that I will be in for the whole week... 3*5 == 15 hrs
And now attending another secession on Chaos to Control..... might as well take advantage of all the free courses thanks to the company.
Was completely taken in by Chayya, the name so stuck out and it was like been hit between the eyes, bulls eye. One look at her pic and it was like I have known her for ever and have been waiting for someone like her.
Curly hair, intensely sincere eyes and smile with a disarming calmness and peace about her. Lets see how it will go, will we be able to connect eternally or will this be another head fake.
It was good chatting with Raj after a long time and then thinking of our friend Prince who passed away in an accident this week a few years ago. He was a very nice guy.
Latter in the evening was in the 3 hrs online course that I will be in for the whole week... 3*5 == 15 hrs
And now attending another secession on Chaos to Control..... might as well take advantage of all the free courses thanks to the company.
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