Wednesday, Oct 03 2012
Day of washing, woke up trying to motivate my self into looking forward to a beautiful day and waking up with a smile, even thou the mind was drifting towards all the other issues and problems thats happening in the family, with parents and my own personal job front.
its about afternoon now and so far seems to be ok.
just got the washed cloths into the dryer and tried using SIRI to set up a reminder..
Created Reminders using SIRI,,, "Dry Cloths" - reminder created --> "Break notes" ;)
hehahaha... thats funny
debating to call raj and bos to check on the job status,, but had called up yesterday and left msgs....
This time around I seem to be taking the issue lightly, some kind of intution about it. But not been able to put my finger on it. Not even sure if its positive or negative.
And not able to motivate myself into focusing on studying a particular subject that I could try to navigate my career on.
So much confusion regarding the future of technology and with my current skills that seems to be going out of market....ahhhhh frustration.
got to see whats in store for the presidential debate of US today.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Oct 02 2012 Tuesday, New month
Tuesday, Oct 02 2012,
Rainy day. but still feeling bouyant. trying not to think of things happening back with parents there. Who seem to be living in the world of kings and zamindars. Dad still has not learnt to talk with people past the time his dad used to have lots of servants and treated them with not much respect.
Respect for other human beings and creatures is the core for every human being. Taking people for granted was the norm of the time, duing the days of kings and land lords, who just thrived on the fear and slavery and never really did any real work.
3pm Called up raj and bos regarding job opening,, ended up leaving voice msg for both.
cooked salmon curry atlast for the first time (maybe) this year. yummyyyy
Monday Oct 1 2012
Early morning got a Fedex.. turns out that my pass sent out for renewal to the canadian office came back because they noticed a shadow behind my head in the photo.
dang,,, another $hundred down the drain to resend.
Atleast the walgreens was very customer friendly and did not charge me for the photo taken again. Even thou I wanted to pay for it as a matter of taking accountability for my failure to have raised the issue at that time and letting it slide thru.
It was totally my fault. So I should pay for it..
Accountability, accountability, accountability,,,,, that is what I need to face, accept and pay for, for my thoughts, choices, actions and reactions :)))))
Well atleast ended up sending the package again to canada thru fedex.. funny , that thou the weight was the same,, fedex charged me a few cents more thiis time. wonder whats their criteria for fee calculations?
Sunday Sep 30 2012
Went out hiking with the group after such a long time. It was nice to see Den again... she is remarkably sweet. Felt like there was some kind of under current going on between us, eyes meeting, darting, smiliing on the sly, trying to joke about something trival,,,, but not happening smoothy, with the strange tension of shyness on both sides.
Felt like huggin her.
Was impressed how she was brave enough to chase the snake away, while I ran the opposite direction. seems she had a snake for pet. wow , effects of having hippy parents. But more than that was her impressive phd.
Rainy day. but still feeling bouyant. trying not to think of things happening back with parents there. Who seem to be living in the world of kings and zamindars. Dad still has not learnt to talk with people past the time his dad used to have lots of servants and treated them with not much respect.
Respect for other human beings and creatures is the core for every human being. Taking people for granted was the norm of the time, duing the days of kings and land lords, who just thrived on the fear and slavery and never really did any real work.
3pm Called up raj and bos regarding job opening,, ended up leaving voice msg for both.
cooked salmon curry atlast for the first time (maybe) this year. yummyyyy
Monday Oct 1 2012
Early morning got a Fedex.. turns out that my pass sent out for renewal to the canadian office came back because they noticed a shadow behind my head in the photo.
dang,,, another $hundred down the drain to resend.
Atleast the walgreens was very customer friendly and did not charge me for the photo taken again. Even thou I wanted to pay for it as a matter of taking accountability for my failure to have raised the issue at that time and letting it slide thru.
It was totally my fault. So I should pay for it..
Accountability, accountability, accountability,,,,, that is what I need to face, accept and pay for, for my thoughts, choices, actions and reactions :)))))
Well atleast ended up sending the package again to canada thru fedex.. funny , that thou the weight was the same,, fedex charged me a few cents more thiis time. wonder whats their criteria for fee calculations?
Sunday Sep 30 2012
Went out hiking with the group after such a long time. It was nice to see Den again... she is remarkably sweet. Felt like there was some kind of under current going on between us, eyes meeting, darting, smiliing on the sly, trying to joke about something trival,,,, but not happening smoothy, with the strange tension of shyness on both sides.
Felt like huggin her.
Was impressed how she was brave enough to chase the snake away, while I ran the opposite direction. seems she had a snake for pet. wow , effects of having hippy parents. But more than that was her impressive phd.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Sep 26 Wed Supposed to Rain today
Wednesday, Sep 26 2012
Supposed to rain today.
Also 41st day since Sail aunt passed away.
Trying to get some objective and motivate myself, so far not able to get any degree of leverage.
What is it that I want to do, what should I do ?
Tried shaving hair, tried to study something, but was not able to focus for more than 12 pages.
Should I try cooking the salmon curry, that I have not tired for long?
Car battery is down, should I try to start it and then go for a spin?
Wish I had lots of money in the 100s of millions, all invested and giving me a steady source of income. Then I could just take off traveling to different destinations around the world.
Well that would mean that I am lazy and not willing to contribute to the society I live and are a person freely living of the hard work done by others.
:( a real but sad thought.
So oh god please get me working and leading a peaceful, happy and satisfied life.
Supposed to rain today.
Also 41st day since Sail aunt passed away.
Trying to get some objective and motivate myself, so far not able to get any degree of leverage.
What is it that I want to do, what should I do ?
Tried shaving hair, tried to study something, but was not able to focus for more than 12 pages.
Should I try cooking the salmon curry, that I have not tired for long?
Car battery is down, should I try to start it and then go for a spin?
Wish I had lots of money in the 100s of millions, all invested and giving me a steady source of income. Then I could just take off traveling to different destinations around the world.
Well that would mean that I am lazy and not willing to contribute to the society I live and are a person freely living of the hard work done by others.
:( a real but sad thought.
So oh god please get me working and leading a peaceful, happy and satisfied life.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Sep 25, stream of thoughts
Tuesday Sep 25 2012
Woke up with a stream of thoughts to improve self..
Ended up not going yesterday to the meditation in downtown and hence salsa.
So went for a walk and ended up jogging a bit. Suddenly felt all kinds of tensions in the leg muscles and nerves. Like they suddenly woke up.
Well atleast can feel the pain today morning. good sign. But also feel the affects of over eating all kinds of junk in the evening. Fell like an accumulation of all the fat around the waist. Well thats motivation for doing more stomach crunches.
One of the highlights of yesterday was that I did not talk with any one. Just one brief vist to the bank and a few words there with the associate.
Kind of weird way in which my life is going. Feeling a bit more healthier than last week.
But need to start exercising my brains which has been in a kind of traumatic mode with all kinds of night mares and lose of peace the past 2 and half months.
Should I call Ra and kind of touch base with him again for any openings.... last week ended up leaving msg.
Its kind of confusing with the Visa too now, since I made a visit out side of US after having the h1 approved. now have to try to figure out what and which i94 would be valid.
Just checked my BMI, its on the border of the higher side of normal.
Need to get down the waist, rather the area of stomach which is jutting out with all the junk food and resulting gases that gets produced by the junk food and resulting in the expansion or outward push of the stomach muscles.
=================
http://www.webmd.com/cholesterol-management/tc/high-triglycerides-overview
Woke up with a stream of thoughts to improve self..
Ended up not going yesterday to the meditation in downtown and hence salsa.
So went for a walk and ended up jogging a bit. Suddenly felt all kinds of tensions in the leg muscles and nerves. Like they suddenly woke up.
Well atleast can feel the pain today morning. good sign. But also feel the affects of over eating all kinds of junk in the evening. Fell like an accumulation of all the fat around the waist. Well thats motivation for doing more stomach crunches.
One of the highlights of yesterday was that I did not talk with any one. Just one brief vist to the bank and a few words there with the associate.
Kind of weird way in which my life is going. Feeling a bit more healthier than last week.
But need to start exercising my brains which has been in a kind of traumatic mode with all kinds of night mares and lose of peace the past 2 and half months.
Should I call Ra and kind of touch base with him again for any openings.... last week ended up leaving msg.
Its kind of confusing with the Visa too now, since I made a visit out side of US after having the h1 approved. now have to try to figure out what and which i94 would be valid.
Just checked my BMI, its on the border of the higher side of normal.
Need to get down the waist, rather the area of stomach which is jutting out with all the junk food and resulting gases that gets produced by the junk food and resulting in the expansion or outward push of the stomach muscles.
=================
http://www.webmd.com/cholesterol-management/tc/high-triglycerides-overview
A blood test that measures your cholesterol also measures your triglycerides. For a general idea about your triglycerides level, compare your test results to the following:
- Normal is less than 150.
- Borderline-high is 150 to 199.
- High is 200 to 499.
- Very high is 500 or higher.
What causes high triglycerides?
High triglycerides are usually caused by other conditions, such as:
- Obesity.
- Poorly controlled diabetes.
- An underactive thyroid (hypothyroidism).
- Kidney disease.
- Regularly eating more calories than you burn.
- Drinking a lot of alcohol.
Certain medicines may also raise triglycerides. These medicines include:
- Tamoxifen.
- Steroids.
- Beta-blockers.
- Diuretics.
- Estrogen.
- Birth control pills.
In a few cases, high triglycerides also can run in families.
What are the symptoms?
High triglycerides usually don't cause symptoms.
But if your high triglycerides are caused by a genetic condition, you may see fatty deposits under your skin. These are called xanthomas (say "zan-THOH-muhs").
How can you lower your high triglycerides?
You can make diet and lifestyle changes to help lower your levels.
- Stay at a healthy weight.
- Limit fats and sugars in your diet.
- Be more active.
- Quit smoking.
- Limit alcohol.
Monday, September 24, 2012
Sep 24 2012 Mon, after weekend of internal debate
Monday, Sep 24 2012
The weekend was spend in self debate about actions past. How to improve self into the future. Lazing about looking for something worth while to do and be proud of accomplishing. To do something positively motivating and enriching.
Was able to go out for a long fast walk. It was an accomplishment, given that for the past 4 weeks, life swung from hectic travel, different cultures, climates and ultimately the body giving up under these pressures and yielding to fever, cold and cough.
Its strange that I noticed when I am sick, my hair and nails don't as fast as they would when I am feeling healthier. So looks like I am back to normal health, except for the occasional cough. Was a good decision not to go out dancing on Friday night.
Guess I am now tired to travelling as a tourist or have ended up having an over dose of exposure or in material sense, have now spent more than I am earning. So time out from any more travel.
These are the situations when I get inclined towards having money and not having to worry about earning to sustain myself.
Back to cooking (rather re-heating) veggie food.
And maybe head out for the group meditation at the Buddhist place in the evening and then for some free monday salsa :)
Thoughts when re-heating..
Looking around and comparing with friends I known for 10 to 15 years.... all ,, i mean all seem to have some kind of life achievement. Have their own house. yes something they did not inherit from their ancestors, just built or broght with their own hard earned money. Something physical that they could look at and feel proud of having done, rather a symbol of all their hard work, sacrifices and achievements.
What do I have, non-attached, fluctuating bank account (at its seasonal low now).
I could have had something too, had it not been my own greed and thoughts of making money grow faster, resulting in investments that only screwed up my savings.
Could have, should have, might have,,,,,, ahhh the story of HAVE.
Was on a roll the few months before going to India, peaceful, happy, alone, tension free life.
Then came the tragedy of moms heart attack. Ended up spending a bunch at the hospitals and travel. And then having to put up with some very idiotic self-imposing people (relatives), who think that they own me and started dictating and pushing me around only to rudely feel the surprise of me pushing back and no longer wanting to have to do anything with them.
Saw a Fedex van pull up, was excited thinking that it must be my iphone 5,,,,aww turns out that it was one of the neighbors who ordered a LG TV.
The weekend was spend in self debate about actions past. How to improve self into the future. Lazing about looking for something worth while to do and be proud of accomplishing. To do something positively motivating and enriching.
Was able to go out for a long fast walk. It was an accomplishment, given that for the past 4 weeks, life swung from hectic travel, different cultures, climates and ultimately the body giving up under these pressures and yielding to fever, cold and cough.
Its strange that I noticed when I am sick, my hair and nails don't as fast as they would when I am feeling healthier. So looks like I am back to normal health, except for the occasional cough. Was a good decision not to go out dancing on Friday night.
Guess I am now tired to travelling as a tourist or have ended up having an over dose of exposure or in material sense, have now spent more than I am earning. So time out from any more travel.
These are the situations when I get inclined towards having money and not having to worry about earning to sustain myself.
Back to cooking (rather re-heating) veggie food.
And maybe head out for the group meditation at the Buddhist place in the evening and then for some free monday salsa :)
Thoughts when re-heating..
Looking around and comparing with friends I known for 10 to 15 years.... all ,, i mean all seem to have some kind of life achievement. Have their own house. yes something they did not inherit from their ancestors, just built or broght with their own hard earned money. Something physical that they could look at and feel proud of having done, rather a symbol of all their hard work, sacrifices and achievements.
What do I have, non-attached, fluctuating bank account (at its seasonal low now).
I could have had something too, had it not been my own greed and thoughts of making money grow faster, resulting in investments that only screwed up my savings.
Could have, should have, might have,,,,,, ahhh the story of HAVE.
Was on a roll the few months before going to India, peaceful, happy, alone, tension free life.
Then came the tragedy of moms heart attack. Ended up spending a bunch at the hospitals and travel. And then having to put up with some very idiotic self-imposing people (relatives), who think that they own me and started dictating and pushing me around only to rudely feel the surprise of me pushing back and no longer wanting to have to do anything with them.
Saw a Fedex van pull up, was excited thinking that it must be my iphone 5,,,,aww turns out that it was one of the neighbors who ordered a LG TV.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Sep 22 2012 Saturday, Beautiful day
Saturday, Sep 22 2012
BEAUTIFUL great Day, these are the words one should start their day with.
Seems to send out the positiviety and also get it back in return.
was nice to see the msg from J who is now moved down south of the equator.... one of the very few people who I had a good chemistry dancing with. She so inpsired me to create new moves and dips on the cha cha.
Was reminded of the conversation we had, chemistry between people is a mystery, just like life, you could be with the most beautiful person, yet not have the matching chemistry. External beauty is just skin deep, but the chemistry, the energy level match-up is really unique if one has the fortune to come across that kind of match.
Well everything is energy. And only few energies are bound to be compatible with each other. Wonder who and where my energy match up is.... been searching for her for a very long time and yet to find the one who is a match and is available.
Had brief talk with mom, was good to hear the lady who had come to help has come back after a few days. So a bit relieved with that and not having to think that moms sis (evil sis) would screw up things for her.
BEAUTIFUL great Day, these are the words one should start their day with.
Seems to send out the positiviety and also get it back in return.
was nice to see the msg from J who is now moved down south of the equator.... one of the very few people who I had a good chemistry dancing with. She so inpsired me to create new moves and dips on the cha cha.
Was reminded of the conversation we had, chemistry between people is a mystery, just like life, you could be with the most beautiful person, yet not have the matching chemistry. External beauty is just skin deep, but the chemistry, the energy level match-up is really unique if one has the fortune to come across that kind of match.
Well everything is energy. And only few energies are bound to be compatible with each other. Wonder who and where my energy match up is.... been searching for her for a very long time and yet to find the one who is a match and is available.
Had brief talk with mom, was good to hear the lady who had come to help has come back after a few days. So a bit relieved with that and not having to think that moms sis (evil sis) would screw up things for her.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Sep 20 Thu, another day passes by
Thursday, Sep 20
Another day passes by, but atleast I got a call from bos about a non-matching opening. Which probably is a call back from yesterdays call and msg left.
Totally confused about life and its mysterious ways. Down into the lowest with hopes of love and life. Its like a hopeless deep well that I seem to be spiraling down into. Not able to meet single women who are compatible. Ending up meeting selfish angry women. Its like all the compatible ones are taken, smart guys who made the smart move in time.
awww rather not spend life with a miserable angry women, will only make my life miserable with her attitude. Rather be at Zero than get sucked down into negative area.
Now I am feeling well enough to go out dancing? still have the cough from Aug last week. The fever seems to have gone down. Sleep pattern seems to have got better. Thanks in a way that I am not working, gave me enough time to recuperate.
And right at that moment I end up sneezing a few times, like having an allergic reaction..... hehehehehe lifes comedy of errors.
Wonder whats happening back home, with the working lady taking off cause of her own cough and fever. Wonder how they are coping up there?
Well there is so much I can do and makes me realise the limits of my capabilities and also makes me feel guilty that I have so limited abilities.
Another day passes by, but atleast I got a call from bos about a non-matching opening. Which probably is a call back from yesterdays call and msg left.
Totally confused about life and its mysterious ways. Down into the lowest with hopes of love and life. Its like a hopeless deep well that I seem to be spiraling down into. Not able to meet single women who are compatible. Ending up meeting selfish angry women. Its like all the compatible ones are taken, smart guys who made the smart move in time.
awww rather not spend life with a miserable angry women, will only make my life miserable with her attitude. Rather be at Zero than get sucked down into negative area.
Now I am feeling well enough to go out dancing? still have the cough from Aug last week. The fever seems to have gone down. Sleep pattern seems to have got better. Thanks in a way that I am not working, gave me enough time to recuperate.
And right at that moment I end up sneezing a few times, like having an allergic reaction..... hehehehehe lifes comedy of errors.
Wonder whats happening back home, with the working lady taking off cause of her own cough and fever. Wonder how they are coping up there?
Well there is so much I can do and makes me realise the limits of my capabilities and also makes me feel guilty that I have so limited abilities.
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