Sep 25, stream of thoughts

Tuesday Sep 25 2012

Woke up with a stream of thoughts to improve self..

Ended up not going yesterday to the meditation in downtown and hence salsa.
So went for a walk and ended up jogging a bit. Suddenly felt all kinds of tensions in the leg muscles and nerves. Like they suddenly woke up.

Well atleast can feel the pain today morning. good sign. But also feel the affects of over eating all kinds of junk in the evening. Fell like an accumulation of all the fat around the waist. Well thats motivation for doing more stomach crunches.

One of the highlights of yesterday was that I did not talk with any one. Just one brief vist to the bank and a few words there with the associate.

Kind of weird way in which my life is going. Feeling a bit more healthier than last week.
But need to start exercising my brains which has been in a kind of traumatic mode with all kinds of night mares and lose of peace the past 2 and half months.

Should I call Ra and kind of touch base with him again for any openings.... last week ended up leaving msg.

Its kind of confusing with the Visa too now, since I made a visit out side of US after having the h1 approved. now have to try to figure out what and which i94 would be valid.

Just checked my BMI, its on the border of the higher side of normal.
Need to get down the waist, rather the area of stomach which is jutting out with all the junk food and resulting gases that gets produced by the junk food and resulting in the expansion or outward push of the stomach muscles.

=================
http://www.webmd.com/cholesterol-management/tc/high-triglycerides-overview

A blood test that measures your cholesterol also measures your triglycerides. For a general idea about your triglycerides level, compare your test results to the following:

• Normal is less than 150.
• Borderline-high is 150 to 199.
• High is 200 to 499.
• Very high is 500 or higher.

What causes high triglycerides?

High triglycerides are usually caused by other conditions, such as:

• Obesity.
• Poorly controlled diabetes.
• An underactive thyroid (hypothyroidism).
• Kidney disease.
• Regularly eating more calories than you burn.
• Drinking a lot of alcohol.

Certain medicines may also raise triglycerides. These medicines include:

• Tamoxifen.
• Steroids.
• Beta-blockers.
• Diuretics.
• Estrogen.
• Birth control pills.

In a few cases, high triglycerides also can run in families.

What are the symptoms?

High triglycerides usually don't cause symptoms.

But if your high triglycerides are caused by a genetic condition, you may see fatty deposits under your skin. These are called xanthomas (say "zan-THOH-muhs").

How can you lower your high triglycerides?

You can make diet and lifestyle changes to help lower your levels.

• Stay at a healthy weight.
• Limit fats and sugars in your diet.
• Be more active.
• Quit smoking.
• Limit alcohol.

Sep 24 2012 Mon, after weekend of internal debate

Monday, Sep 24 2012

The weekend was spend in self debate about actions past. How to improve self into the future. Lazing about looking for something worth while to do and be proud of accomplishing. To do something positively motivating and enriching.

Was able to go out for a long fast walk. It was an accomplishment, given that for the past 4 weeks, life swung from hectic travel, different cultures, climates and ultimately the body giving up under these pressures and yielding to fever, cold and cough.

Its strange that I noticed when I am sick, my hair and nails don't as fast as they would when I am feeling healthier. So looks like I am back to normal health, except for the occasional cough. Was a good decision not to go out dancing on Friday night.

Guess I am now tired to travelling as a tourist or have ended up having an over dose of exposure or in material sense, have now spent more than I am earning. So time out from any more travel.
These are the situations when I get inclined towards having money and not having to worry about earning to sustain myself.

Back to cooking (rather re-heating) veggie food.

And maybe head out for the group meditation at the Buddhist place in the evening and then for some free monday salsa :)

Thoughts when re-heating..

Looking around and comparing with friends I known for 10 to 15 years.... all ,, i mean all seem to have some kind of life achievement. Have their own house. yes something they did not inherit from their ancestors, just built or broght with their own hard earned money. Something physical that they could look at and feel proud of having done, rather a symbol of all their hard work, sacrifices and achievements.

What do I have, non-attached, fluctuating bank account (at its seasonal low now).
I could have had something too, had it not been my own greed and thoughts of making money grow faster, resulting in investments that only screwed up my savings.

Could have, should have, might have,,,,,, ahhh the story of HAVE.

Was on a roll the few months before going to India, peaceful, happy, alone, tension free life.

Then came the tragedy of moms heart attack. Ended up spending a bunch at the hospitals and travel. And then having to put up with some very idiotic self-imposing people (relatives), who think that they own me and started dictating and pushing me around only to rudely feel the surprise of me pushing back and no longer wanting to have to do anything with them.

Saw a Fedex van pull up, was excited thinking that it must be my iphone 5,,,,aww turns out that it was one of the neighbors who ordered a LG TV.

Sep 22 2012 Saturday, Beautiful day

Saturday, Sep 22 2012

BEAUTIFUL great Day, these are the words one should start their day with.
Seems to send out the positiviety and also get it back in return.

was nice to see the msg from J who is now moved down south of the equator.... one of the very few people who I had a good chemistry dancing with. She so inpsired me to create new moves and dips on the cha cha.

Was reminded of the conversation we had, chemistry between people is a mystery, just like life, you could be with the most beautiful person, yet not have the matching chemistry. External beauty is just skin deep, but the chemistry, the energy level match-up is really unique if one has the fortune to come across that kind of match.

Well everything is energy. And only few energies are bound to be compatible with each other. Wonder who and where my energy match up is.... been searching for her for a very long time and yet to find the one who is a match and is available.

Had brief talk with mom, was good to hear the lady who had come to help has come back after a few days. So a bit relieved with that and not having to think that moms sis (evil sis) would screw up things for her.

Sep 20 Thu, another day passes by

Thursday, Sep 20

Another day passes by, but atleast I got a call from bos about a non-matching opening. Which probably is a call back from yesterdays call and msg left.

Totally confused about life and its mysterious ways. Down into the lowest with hopes of love and life. Its like a hopeless deep well that I seem to be spiraling down into. Not able to meet single women who are compatible. Ending up meeting selfish angry women. Its like all the compatible ones are taken, smart guys who made the smart move in time.

awww rather not spend life with a miserable angry women, will only make my life miserable with her attitude. Rather be at Zero than get sucked down into negative area.

Now I am feeling well enough to go out dancing? still have the cough from Aug last week. The fever seems to have gone down. Sleep pattern seems to have got better. Thanks in a way that I am not working, gave me  enough time to recuperate.
And right at that moment I end up sneezing a few times, like having an allergic reaction..... hehehehehe lifes comedy of errors.

Wonder whats happening  back home, with the working lady taking off cause of her own cough and fever. Wonder how they are coping up there?
Well there is so much I can do and makes me realise the limits of my capabilities and also makes me feel guilty that I have so limited abilities.

Sep 19 Dis satisfaction and confusion

Wednesday Sep 19 2012

Going thru a phase or a stage in life where I am totally not satisfied with the things happening in my life and confused about a lot of things.

Am I on the right path or am been dragged into directions that I did not see coming by. Don't have much options either.

Past 10 days just passed by, mostly trying to get my sleep pattern back and recovering from the sickness I got when I toured the 4 south Indian states in 3 days. All the pollution, drinking water at hotels with shady hygiene conditions and then been on the move with very little sleep. Again the trip started with a blast, yes a virtual blast of the Gas tanker that delayed the train and killed many people. From there on it was a cascading effect, but looking back it was a good trip where I just made the best of the circumstances. Advantages of travelling alone and not having to think of what the other travel partners might like or not like. Well a good compatible travel partner would sure have made travelling much easier and nicer.

Waiting for passport and the new iphone.
The iphone order is something I regret now as I realize that apple screwed us over with an incompatible plug in to connect to computer. Its no longer the standard USB port.
Big disappointment there, if its true. Should know in a few days.

This time around hoping to use the video in the phone for recording incidents that would probably help improve the world. maybe like an hidden camera and publicize about bad things and people.

around 2:42 called up bos and ra ,, left msg to let me know about any job openings... it kind of sucks, not getting enough billable poejects and because of that the company screwing me over about the yearly increment in salary. Everyone seems to have got upwards of 3 percent hike, and me left with a meager 1 percent.

feel ashamed to even ask about it. Don't feel right to ask about it and also feel screwed over that I did not get what others got and that I was entitled to get. Its not like I did not work, just that the company did not have projects that fit my skill set or could not fit me in.

Sep 13 2012, Jet lag

Thu Sep 13 2012
Still suffering from Jet lag and trouble adjusting to the sleep pattern changes.

Took more than 50 hrs door to door. with a 20 hr halt in Doha.


Wed Sep 12 2012


Tuesday Sep 11 2012

Did not know what happened to this day, guess spent sleeping, confused and lost. Remember waking up a couple of times and looking for parents and hoping that one of my wicked aunts did not poison them.

Monday Sep 10 2012

Reached NYC around 4pm and after a long wait in the Q for immigration was out with out any issues. Got admire the way the immigration people working at the airport are working.
So many different people from different cultures from around the world, speaking in different tones, some that may be considered rude in many cultures.
ooofff to handle all these kinds of people day in and day out..... remarkable human quality of patience and peservence... hats off the immigration guys in NYC and many other places.

Thanks to nar for picking up at the airport . reached his house around 7:30pm and drove to my house to reach around 9:30pm EST (which must be around 7am IST of Sep11).
About 51 hrs door to door travel.

Sunday Sep 09 2012

Started off from home around sep09, 6am IST which is 8:30pm EST of Sep 08.
Reached calicut airport around 7:30am with a huge crowded of passengers blocking the enterance. took about 30 mins to get past the gate. Another 30 mins to pay the 10,000plus rupees that I had for changing the flight. then another 30 mins to clear the immigration... so was able to board the flight around 9:30 with out much hassle. Wish had come in earlier to avoid the crowd. Well lesson learnt.!

Reached Doha in the afternoon, asked the flight attentends about salsa in doha,, one of them seemed pretty excited ,, she was sweet and sexy,,,, damm why did we not talk much earlier.. but came back sadly with the news that there is no salsa on a sunday there.

So me and an check into Retaj hotel. Great looking hotel, with great facilities, I got a whole suite with kitchen and couple of rooms two TVs mostly showing the local soccer in about 5 to 10 channels.

After having a lunch buffet at the hotel, an asked around about the desert safari. about 300USD.(more like 270). So arranged for the safari guy to come pick us up around 3:30pm.

It was a different experience, driven in a Nissan 4 wheel drive. up and down some amazing sand dunes and 40 deg plus drops, like a crazy ride in a theme park.
Reached the south eastern border of Qatar, with a view of Saudhi arabia.

Returned back around 7:30pm,, 4 hrs.

did not have much in me to go into the swimming pool or try to find a place to dance salsa. Just had another great dinner buffet, stuffed with deserts. :)
Asked to have a wake up call around 5am. for flight at 8am.

Aug 25 2012, lifes complications

Saturday, Aug 25 2012
Went to irt y met up with unkls family. rainny day.

checking web to see about accomodation in tirupathi and mode of booking. lets see how that goes.
should be ok since its non-peak time.

Friday, Aug 24 2012
just waiting for the days to pass by for flight back to home.
went and reserved a tkt to tirupathi, hopefully will be able to complete my visit there after the scheduled 12 day mourning period for aunt.

Dropped of the gal who came in for cooking and taking care of the other work at Ranj , cousin sisters house so that she could go back to her village to celebrate the onam festival with her family.

Mon Aug 20 2012
The day the grave was closed, 3 days after cremation.

An comes back after 10 years around noon.

Friday, Aug 17 2012
Sail aunts body was cremeated around 10am


Thursday Aug 16 2012
had gone for walk around 7pm

got call from unkle.
Aunt sail passes away, after very courageously battling cancer for more than 3 years. She was one of the sweetest, soft spoken and nicest person I ever got to know on this earth. It was heart wrenching what she had to go thru and die inch by inch. Felt sick and think that life is sure not fair, if at all one person that deserves peace and happiness and ZERO suffering, it was her.

Her body was brought to the main family house of grandparents towards midnight.

So was busy cleaning up the house and getting it ready, when I got some help from Sr and husband Ra... who like the good person he is, just helped me with the cleaning, unselfishly and just for the sake of helping.

Then cam aunt ka,, claiming in front of everyone that she and her husband had cleaned up the place the day before. what a load of bull, if they had really cleaned up, then would there be so much of plastic and other crap in front of the house, that seems to have been there for quite a long time.

Wed Aug 15 2012
Went to mahi for the kadhi festival along with ath and ram.

Tuesday Aug 14 2012
Went to bsn mahe to get the modem configured and then to cousin prade shop to buy a couple of towles and dress and sandals.

Mon Aug `13 2012

Sun aug 12 2012

Sat Aug 11 2012
brought new fridge.

Friday, Aug10 2012


Thursday Aug 09 2012
registered issue with geaser with the dealer. walked all the way to chokli.

Wed Aug 08 2012
Brought Adsl modem rs 2000

Sunday Aug 05 2012
Towards evening ranj cousis sis gets the lady to help with the cooking and cleaning - kamala