Saturday, Jan 07 2012
Laid back day, but trying to motivate myself to complete a online course.
ahhh Great,, the web site is down, so no intellectual exercise for me today... hmm maybe try some reading of the magzines that I subscribed too...
Anl comes by in the afternoon around 3, meet him at zub mand after returning from temple and have biriyan and samosa chole and puri chole... best was the shera, did not beat the udupi shera.
then got back home and finished half the bottle of Sevovitza that Evi had given me. And the funny part, thou it smelled of strong alcohol, did not have any affect on the other faculties... So after that had to resort to drinking mexican beer. carona, dos equis and some other.
then it gave us a bit of hig... watched a malu movie. interesting to see my village shown in the movie..... woooo the green, green. lush natural land of my ancestors. Paradise on earth 365 days of the year.
Did not have the motivateion to go out salsa dancing. no contact with Mar. wonder what she is thinking. well not really interested in encouraging or creating the circumstance for her to cheat or what ever it is that she is going thru. miss dancing with her.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
Jan 06 2012 Friday, depressing feelings
Friday, Nov 06 2012
Was really very depressing since yesterday afternoon. Not knowing what or where things are going and a very suffocating feeling for not been able to feel free to do things.
had gone to sleep around 0030 hrs and woke up again in between a few time because of bad dreams and acid build up. almost finished half a liter of milk, and organic at that.
did a lil more intense work out, almost could not feel my hands. But feels good and a bit more toned and energized.
Called up Rj around 9 regarding the new opportunity. did not pick up, so called up again around 10, picked up and said Mh C has some updates and he will let me know, so asked if it was okay if I call him directly, to which he said, ok.
So called Mh C and was told that its pending a bit of billing costs. So would be able to get it thru by today or by monday. It seems to be almost confirmed.
Keeping fingers crossed, oh god just want to do a job and keep busy. Nothing is worse more than idling and wasting precious time that I could use as experience. Now because of that I can feel the level of uncertainty that I am going thru which is greatly affecting my own confidence.
Even thou now I hate to leave the warmth of Texas and move back to the cold of Philly. Have now been forced by circumstances to go where I am asked to go rather than been able to choose where I can go.
For all the talk by people who claim that I have a choice, well really no, not if I have other priorities like having a steady income which allows me to save for my future or emergencies and been able to do a job I am comfortable doing.
Surely realised that I am not fit for minimum wages , manual job. And do not want to get into that in any way. Would rather do the job that helps me use my intellect and my experience and get paid accordingly.
Got out around 12 to go to the temple and,, bummer,, the car wont start. had left the lights on and screwed up the battery again. have to wait for sometime and see if things will work itself out.
Was really very depressing since yesterday afternoon. Not knowing what or where things are going and a very suffocating feeling for not been able to feel free to do things.
had gone to sleep around 0030 hrs and woke up again in between a few time because of bad dreams and acid build up. almost finished half a liter of milk, and organic at that.
did a lil more intense work out, almost could not feel my hands. But feels good and a bit more toned and energized.
Called up Rj around 9 regarding the new opportunity. did not pick up, so called up again around 10, picked up and said Mh C has some updates and he will let me know, so asked if it was okay if I call him directly, to which he said, ok.
So called Mh C and was told that its pending a bit of billing costs. So would be able to get it thru by today or by monday. It seems to be almost confirmed.
Keeping fingers crossed, oh god just want to do a job and keep busy. Nothing is worse more than idling and wasting precious time that I could use as experience. Now because of that I can feel the level of uncertainty that I am going thru which is greatly affecting my own confidence.
Even thou now I hate to leave the warmth of Texas and move back to the cold of Philly. Have now been forced by circumstances to go where I am asked to go rather than been able to choose where I can go.
For all the talk by people who claim that I have a choice, well really no, not if I have other priorities like having a steady income which allows me to save for my future or emergencies and been able to do a job I am comfortable doing.
Surely realised that I am not fit for minimum wages , manual job. And do not want to get into that in any way. Would rather do the job that helps me use my intellect and my experience and get paid accordingly.
Got out around 12 to go to the temple and,, bummer,, the car wont start. had left the lights on and screwed up the battery again. have to wait for sometime and see if things will work itself out.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Jan 05 2012, a better day
Thursday, Jan 05 2012
Thou went to bed around mid night, woke up with acid problems in the stomach frequently during the night. But was able to get out of bed around 7:30am. Could have done better there with 6am. Lack of motivation
Then got to do some mild work out. Which was much better than I have done in quite a few months. cheers to that. Feel like doing more. but need to get some mental focus and learning done. Something I have been struggling for quite some time.
Back to getting on with life.
Thou went to bed around mid night, woke up with acid problems in the stomach frequently during the night. But was able to get out of bed around 7:30am. Could have done better there with 6am. Lack of motivation
Then got to do some mild work out. Which was much better than I have done in quite a few months. cheers to that. Feel like doing more. but need to get some mental focus and learning done. Something I have been struggling for quite some time.
Back to getting on with life.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Jan 04 2012, Gaining Control
Wednesday Jan 04 2012
Its a bit of a let down and frustrating that I am not able to get back into the rhythm of waking up early. Atleast tried to go to bed early which was 12 mid night. There was a bit of struggle getting into bed early too. But made it in and was hoping to wake up around 5:30 or 6am.
But got out only around 8:30am. was wake and drifting off into sleep a few times.
Motivation is a factor to get going .
done with going thru the mail and trying to figure out how I could motivate myself into improving my lifes twisted path.
Coffee sure does seem to help a bit.
Now to get myself into doing some self learning
The thought of it been possibly my last 15 days with Ct or rather 11 working days. is a bit of fear building up.
applied for a job in memphis. lets see if that works out. would be nice to dump some stuff on lil bro
made call to rj , was told to be ready for the next move in the next couple of weeks...
then latter got call from hr rja, he basically asked me why I was not ready to take up some jobs and mentioned St juds... I was so shocked and did not know what to tell him, and ended up telling him that I never even heard of the st juds opening.
asked me if i was interested in proj mgmt.. I said yea,, in fact I just finished the pmp on skill soft.
well remains to be seen what he will come back to me with,,, just not comfortable with manipulating my resume with lies.
Kind of left with an uncertain feeling after the conversation. ohhh god, please help with this life and please keep me strong and keep me safe and protect me from having to be in situations where I would have to do something I am not happy and comfortable doing. Please...
Its a bit of a let down and frustrating that I am not able to get back into the rhythm of waking up early. Atleast tried to go to bed early which was 12 mid night. There was a bit of struggle getting into bed early too. But made it in and was hoping to wake up around 5:30 or 6am.
But got out only around 8:30am. was wake and drifting off into sleep a few times.
Motivation is a factor to get going .
done with going thru the mail and trying to figure out how I could motivate myself into improving my lifes twisted path.
Coffee sure does seem to help a bit.
Now to get myself into doing some self learning
The thought of it been possibly my last 15 days with Ct or rather 11 working days. is a bit of fear building up.
applied for a job in memphis. lets see if that works out. would be nice to dump some stuff on lil bro
made call to rj , was told to be ready for the next move in the next couple of weeks...
then latter got call from hr rja, he basically asked me why I was not ready to take up some jobs and mentioned St juds... I was so shocked and did not know what to tell him, and ended up telling him that I never even heard of the st juds opening.
asked me if i was interested in proj mgmt.. I said yea,, in fact I just finished the pmp on skill soft.
well remains to be seen what he will come back to me with,,, just not comfortable with manipulating my resume with lies.
Kind of left with an uncertain feeling after the conversation. ohhh god, please help with this life and please keep me strong and keep me safe and protect me from having to be in situations where I would have to do something I am not happy and comfortable doing. Please...
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Jan 03 2012, wakey wakey
Tuesday, Jan 03 2012
woke up around 6am and then again hit the bed to get out of bed around 11:30am.
uuuuuhhhh no more late nights for me even if its free. Get back to the routine of staying healthy, wealthy and wise. or need to.
eyes are still burning and its such a beautiful sunny day (thou cold).
Enjoyed waking around the plain flat lands in the neighbor hood yesterday evening, almost reached the airport. was fascinating watching the planes take off and land in pairs about 30 secs gap between each landing and take off. wow what an orchestra of efficient modern time management.
had walked by Mc Donalds and did not even enter it. yeaaa.
okay ny resolutions...
try to avoid Alcohol as much as possible.
try to stick to veggie diet as much as possible
Try to go out for a run every day or atleast walk a few miles.
A bit disappointed that Ron paul did not win the Iowa caucus... :(
got mail from mar about salsa , send msg back about not been able to make it. need to get my life and sleep pattern back.
woke up around 6am and then again hit the bed to get out of bed around 11:30am.
uuuuuhhhh no more late nights for me even if its free. Get back to the routine of staying healthy, wealthy and wise. or need to.
eyes are still burning and its such a beautiful sunny day (thou cold).
Enjoyed waking around the plain flat lands in the neighbor hood yesterday evening, almost reached the airport. was fascinating watching the planes take off and land in pairs about 30 secs gap between each landing and take off. wow what an orchestra of efficient modern time management.
had walked by Mc Donalds and did not even enter it. yeaaa.
okay ny resolutions...
try to avoid Alcohol as much as possible.
try to stick to veggie diet as much as possible
Try to go out for a run every day or atleast walk a few miles.
A bit disappointed that Ron paul did not win the Iowa caucus... :(
got mail from mar about salsa , send msg back about not been able to make it. need to get my life and sleep pattern back.
Monday, January 2, 2012
JAN 02 2012 , At last some rest ful time
Monday, Jan 02 2011
Went to sleep early, catching up on the lost sleep of the past two days. ahhh what a soothing feeling, feel like going to bed again, maybe my body needs more rest.
Well atleast was able to start off the day with Athira from srilanka and thou heated up puttu was not able to eat it,, well for today morning.
But again yesterday night it was a debate between puttu and chicken biriyani. of course Biriyani won hands down.
Its interesting for just $9 I got 3 chicken Biriyanies, even Mc Donalds cannot beat that price and it would last me for 3 days. Even if I cook every day, I will end up spending more. hmmm ideas to save. Ganesh was right, there are too many Indian and pakistani restaurants competing and thats making it easier for people like me and he was here for more than 5 years and he still has not able to cover all the restaurants he wanted too.
Laid back day, was not able to sleep and ended up watching "parenting" on streaming. on got to bed after 3:30am.... this is what happens to the body clock if you let it change your routine.
Ahhhh then come the difficulty of waking up,,
Went to sleep early, catching up on the lost sleep of the past two days. ahhh what a soothing feeling, feel like going to bed again, maybe my body needs more rest.
Well atleast was able to start off the day with Athira from srilanka and thou heated up puttu was not able to eat it,, well for today morning.
But again yesterday night it was a debate between puttu and chicken biriyani. of course Biriyani won hands down.
Its interesting for just $9 I got 3 chicken Biriyanies, even Mc Donalds cannot beat that price and it would last me for 3 days. Even if I cook every day, I will end up spending more. hmmm ideas to save. Ganesh was right, there are too many Indian and pakistani restaurants competing and thats making it easier for people like me and he was here for more than 5 years and he still has not able to cover all the restaurants he wanted too.
Laid back day, was not able to sleep and ended up watching "parenting" on streaming. on got to bed after 3:30am.... this is what happens to the body clock if you let it change your routine.
Ahhhh then come the difficulty of waking up,,
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Jan 01 2012, Sunday, what a night
Sunday Jan 01 2012
What a night or early morning into the New Year of 2012.... it was like a dream with my wishes coming true.....
With beautiful Mar to dance the cumbia with ... my first Cumbia in Dallas...
For the first time had so many women come and ask me to dance and compliment me. It was like they were fighting and I was trying to get away.
was in salsa heaven dancing with mar again.
And then the after party in the hotel room with ren and gang. 4 men and 10 women. woooo
What a night or early morning into the New Year of 2012.... it was like a dream with my wishes coming true.....
With beautiful Mar to dance the cumbia with ... my first Cumbia in Dallas...
For the first time had so many women come and ask me to dance and compliment me. It was like they were fighting and I was trying to get away.
was in salsa heaven dancing with mar again.
And then the after party in the hotel room with ren and gang. 4 men and 10 women. woooo
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