Friday, Nov 06 2012
Was really very depressing since yesterday afternoon. Not knowing what or where things are going and a very suffocating feeling for not been able to feel free to do things.
had gone to sleep around 0030 hrs and woke up again in between a few time because of bad dreams and acid build up. almost finished half a liter of milk, and organic at that.
did a lil more intense work out, almost could not feel my hands. But feels good and a bit more toned and energized.
Called up Rj around 9 regarding the new opportunity. did not pick up, so called up again around 10, picked up and said Mh C has some updates and he will let me know, so asked if it was okay if I call him directly, to which he said, ok.
So called Mh C and was told that its pending a bit of billing costs. So would be able to get it thru by today or by monday. It seems to be almost confirmed.
Keeping fingers crossed, oh god just want to do a job and keep busy. Nothing is worse more than idling and wasting precious time that I could use as experience. Now because of that I can feel the level of uncertainty that I am going thru which is greatly affecting my own confidence.
Even thou now I hate to leave the warmth of Texas and move back to the cold of Philly. Have now been forced by circumstances to go where I am asked to go rather than been able to choose where I can go.
For all the talk by people who claim that I have a choice, well really no, not if I have other priorities like having a steady income which allows me to save for my future or emergencies and been able to do a job I am comfortable doing.
Surely realised that I am not fit for minimum wages , manual job. And do not want to get into that in any way. Would rather do the job that helps me use my intellect and my experience and get paid accordingly.
Got out around 12 to go to the temple and,, bummer,, the car wont start. had left the lights on and screwed up the battery again. have to wait for sometime and see if things will work itself out.
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