Sunday, Apr 29 2012.
Kept off alcohol, so with a rationally stable mind, able to focus sincerly with out external distraction on the requirements of actions I need to take up on and ground myself. Not improve, not raise above, not lower or anything that indicates sine waves and trubulance. Just pure grounding and neutralizing and bringing about stability.
Starting off with the words
Keep your thoughts positive
because your thoughts become your words,
Keep your words positive
because your words become your behaviors.
Keep your behaviors positive,
because your behaviors become your habit.
Keep your habits positive,
because your habits become your values.
Keep your values positive,
because your values become your destiny.
Values make a person.
Values are the flowers of ones depth in character.
Character is the off-spring of ones sincere, honest thinking and choices made.
Choices made are often the result of sacrifices and acts of unselfishness.
Putting oneself behind and putting others ahead is often an start towards unselfish practice.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Apr 28, Sat hike or not in the cold
Saturday, Apr 28 2012
woke up with the intention of going out hiking, but then looked at the company of people and did not feel much motivated to go. Kind of re enforced my plan to stay at home and save up on my energy and gas for my car.
With the rise in gas prices, its been discouraging to think of long drives. Would rather drive around closer places.
woke up with the intention of going out hiking, but then looked at the company of people and did not feel much motivated to go. Kind of re enforced my plan to stay at home and save up on my energy and gas for my car.
With the rise in gas prices, its been discouraging to think of long drives. Would rather drive around closer places.
Apr 27 2012... end of week
Friday, Apr 27 2012
End of week and almost the month of April.
Lazy day and the weather is getting colder with freez warning posted on the weather channel for the night. That kind of screws up motivation to go out and have some dance fun..... just the distance and thought of driving is overwhelming.
Maybe this week I will rest up and move in by the next. Tango top of the list with Caro coming back from her trip. only able to dream dancing with her now. hopfully will get to dance with her gentle sweetness.
got out of work around 3:15 and got my car inspection taken care off and then fixed the problem with some connecting at the left back wheel.
Kind of reminded how me and eva had a very close call, when the pin gave away on front wheel a few days after our trip. Had this happened during the trip, I am sure we would have not made it in this world. Not sure she realises how close we both came to extinction.
I am sure mirslov must have had the same kind of issue with his car.
ok for some vodka... almost finished half off the 1.7liter bottle... with one shot during weekends.. hmm.
End of week and almost the month of April.
Lazy day and the weather is getting colder with freez warning posted on the weather channel for the night. That kind of screws up motivation to go out and have some dance fun..... just the distance and thought of driving is overwhelming.
Maybe this week I will rest up and move in by the next. Tango top of the list with Caro coming back from her trip. only able to dream dancing with her now. hopfully will get to dance with her gentle sweetness.
got out of work around 3:15 and got my car inspection taken care off and then fixed the problem with some connecting at the left back wheel.
Kind of reminded how me and eva had a very close call, when the pin gave away on front wheel a few days after our trip. Had this happened during the trip, I am sure we would have not made it in this world. Not sure she realises how close we both came to extinction.
I am sure mirslov must have had the same kind of issue with his car.
ok for some vodka... almost finished half off the 1.7liter bottle... with one shot during weekends.. hmm.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Apr 26 2012 , things seem to move
Thursday, Apr 26 2012
things seem to move at work, tomorrow there will be two people less on the team.. so not really interested in joing the sick lady at the lunch table and have my brains fried up.
things seem to move at work, tomorrow there will be two people less on the team.. so not really interested in joing the sick lady at the lunch table and have my brains fried up.
Apr 25, 2012
Wednesday, Apr 25, 2012
work drags on,
attended a online presenation secession. and bam it was 10pm
work drags on,
attended a online presenation secession. and bam it was 10pm
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Apr 24 2012, sleepy after night out
Tuesday, Apr 24
was feeling sleepy by afternoon. having a hard time trying to keep my eyes open. but now in a online class on presentation... lady seems to be stuck on stev jobs as her ideal.
well he was a good marketing man, not a great presenter. at least does not impress me.
was feeling sleepy by afternoon. having a hard time trying to keep my eyes open. but now in a online class on presentation... lady seems to be stuck on stev jobs as her ideal.
well he was a good marketing man, not a great presenter. at least does not impress me.
Apr 23 2012, meditation and dancing
Monday, Apr 23 2012
got up around 5am, reached work aroun 7:45
out at around 5pm reached downtown around 6 and was stuck in the middle of a traffic stoppage caused by a building on fire. anyway got to the meditation place by 6:30,,,,, then was in the middle of an intense and varied group discussion on the slokas (verses). was interesting to hear peoples take on things and how they related to the words..... and I was not having much to say and felt peoples eyes staring at me when ever there was silence and it was like they were expecting me to say something... hmm is it because I look like a buddhist monk and they instinctly expect me to say something wise.
when an aggressive old man brought up the topic of tailgating and people cutting you off and asking for other reaction, I was well in the game, as I was and have been trying to practice the transfer of good feelings towards people who I thought were doing something bad and was wishing them good and in turn felt good about thinking good thoughts about them.... it kind of stuck a chord among them.
got up around 5am, reached work aroun 7:45
out at around 5pm reached downtown around 6 and was stuck in the middle of a traffic stoppage caused by a building on fire. anyway got to the meditation place by 6:30,,,,, then was in the middle of an intense and varied group discussion on the slokas (verses). was interesting to hear peoples take on things and how they related to the words..... and I was not having much to say and felt peoples eyes staring at me when ever there was silence and it was like they were expecting me to say something... hmm is it because I look like a buddhist monk and they instinctly expect me to say something wise.
when an aggressive old man brought up the topic of tailgating and people cutting you off and asking for other reaction, I was well in the game, as I was and have been trying to practice the transfer of good feelings towards people who I thought were doing something bad and was wishing them good and in turn felt good about thinking good thoughts about them.... it kind of stuck a chord among them.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Apr 22 2012, meditation
Sunday, Apr 22 2012
Got up early and reached the buddhist meditation place around 9:10 in downtown. ended up in the teachers training class and then after about 30 mins was told that the group sitting is in the other room.
It was nice, 3 hrs of intense meditation , not a word to anyone. just trying to focus and getting back when drifting off.
looks like the instability at work is affecting me. Bunch of bullshitting insincere people, trying to tell all kinds of lies to serve their own selfish agenda. They speak as thou the rest are fools.
Got up early and reached the buddhist meditation place around 9:10 in downtown. ended up in the teachers training class and then after about 30 mins was told that the group sitting is in the other room.
It was nice, 3 hrs of intense meditation , not a word to anyone. just trying to focus and getting back when drifting off.
looks like the instability at work is affecting me. Bunch of bullshitting insincere people, trying to tell all kinds of lies to serve their own selfish agenda. They speak as thou the rest are fools.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Apr 21 2012 Saturday
Saturday, Apr 21 2012
Again another sad day after talking with parents.
Not sure how to make my dad happy. well again again he has proved that I am not worthy and he is fixated on my kid brother, who does not even care to make a call home.
What am I supposed to do.
ITs like a lost cause and yet here I am going back into the same old pattern of been the good son and trying to get them to be happy ... and when I call up all my mom says is. is it a.... my kid brother,,, its like they are always waiting for him to call. And as always ,,, no one cares about me.
Guess I am just destined to be the one no one cares about and foolish me keeps going out of my way trying to get people to like me.
Fk them all.
I have to keep reminding myself to just not care about the rest of the world and just to care about my own self..... thats the easiest and toughest part, I am just not the uncaring and selfish person, like many pampered single kid. single male or single female in the family. Selfish and self centered to the core.
Again mom was talking about some call she got from a lady whos daughter did her phd and is now working in the gulf. seems to have told mom that they could get me a job in the gulf along with her. yea ,,,hmmmm. need to ponder.
/////
Also realized that I am a sucker for nerdy gals. Fall easily for them.
Given my current emotional conditions, I could easily fall for any gal who would be even a bit nice nice and caring to me.
Almost fell flat for the neuro genious from Frans va at tango. must be fate that took her away on a trip or going by the kind and caring and encouraging way she was partnering up with me while learning and taking blame even for my goof ups and encouraging me thru, said tons about her.... hmmm wish I had someone like that permantly in my life who cared like that......
well I can hope and dream. thats for sure for free and no one can steal that from me as long as I have a working brain.
Wonder when she will be back
Again another sad day after talking with parents.
Not sure how to make my dad happy. well again again he has proved that I am not worthy and he is fixated on my kid brother, who does not even care to make a call home.
What am I supposed to do.
ITs like a lost cause and yet here I am going back into the same old pattern of been the good son and trying to get them to be happy ... and when I call up all my mom says is. is it a.... my kid brother,,, its like they are always waiting for him to call. And as always ,,, no one cares about me.
Guess I am just destined to be the one no one cares about and foolish me keeps going out of my way trying to get people to like me.
Fk them all.
I have to keep reminding myself to just not care about the rest of the world and just to care about my own self..... thats the easiest and toughest part, I am just not the uncaring and selfish person, like many pampered single kid. single male or single female in the family. Selfish and self centered to the core.
Again mom was talking about some call she got from a lady whos daughter did her phd and is now working in the gulf. seems to have told mom that they could get me a job in the gulf along with her. yea ,,,hmmmm. need to ponder.
/////
Also realized that I am a sucker for nerdy gals. Fall easily for them.
Given my current emotional conditions, I could easily fall for any gal who would be even a bit nice nice and caring to me.
Almost fell flat for the neuro genious from Frans va at tango. must be fate that took her away on a trip or going by the kind and caring and encouraging way she was partnering up with me while learning and taking blame even for my goof ups and encouraging me thru, said tons about her.... hmmm wish I had someone like that permantly in my life who cared like that......
well I can hope and dream. thats for sure for free and no one can steal that from me as long as I have a working brain.
Wonder when she will be back
Friday, April 20, 2012
Apr 20 2012,, Weekend could not have come sooner
Friday, Apr 20 2012
At last a weekend that I do not have any plans and don't feel like going out for salsa dancing....
There does not seem to be any tango either that I can bravely go for. wish that french gal caro could have been here , then atleast could have bravely stepped out with her or practiced with her.
Should I go for a run or go have a Vodka martini.
At last a weekend that I do not have any plans and don't feel like going out for salsa dancing....
There does not seem to be any tango either that I can bravely go for. wish that french gal caro could have been here , then atleast could have bravely stepped out with her or practiced with her.
Should I go for a run or go have a Vodka martini.
Apr 19,, interviewing fake people
Thursday, Apr 19
6:30 pm interviewed a guy telephonically, suspect not to be the person who applied or was the candidate.
6:30 pm interviewed a guy telephonically, suspect not to be the person who applied or was the candidate.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Apr 18, to Tango or not to
Wednesday, Apr 18
was all focused on completing the test script when i get the mail to conduct 3 interviews.
wanted to go for the classes in tango. to continue my new hobby. so sent out msg to caro to see if she would be able to motivate me. But ,,,,, did not get much swing from her and ended up getting a msg of been away for 10 days. lets see how it goes after that. maybe next week.
was all focused on completing the test script when i get the mail to conduct 3 interviews.
wanted to go for the classes in tango. to continue my new hobby. so sent out msg to caro to see if she would be able to motivate me. But ,,,,, did not get much swing from her and ended up getting a msg of been away for 10 days. lets see how it goes after that. maybe next week.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Apr 17 2012...
Tuesday, Apr 17 2012
reached work around 8 and had subway for lunch.
was thinking of caro and wondering whats up.
my reply to her must have got her thinking or she has other options... hate it when people don't reply back in time.
well if its ment to happen it will. but was surprised to get the mail from sha suggesting we get together and practice sometime..... hmmmm
reached work around 8 and had subway for lunch.
was thinking of caro and wondering whats up.
my reply to her must have got her thinking or she has other options... hate it when people don't reply back in time.
well if its ment to happen it will. but was surprised to get the mail from sha suggesting we get together and practice sometime..... hmmmm
Monday, April 16, 2012
Apr 16 2012, taxes
Monday Apr 16 2012..
On a Tango high......
wanted to go out dancing again in the evening.. but decided to get home...
and got two invitations to partner up and practice tango....
the french connection, carol is so sweet. but she wants to go for the intermediate stage.. and i should bh eoing for the adv beginner classes next thou.
well lets see what she has to say.
Feeling flattered and confused.... wow a neuro doctor. wow must be a really brilliant person. And I am a sucker for nerdy gals. :) easily falls in love head over heals.
hmmmm life happens as its ment to happen.
On a Tango high......
wanted to go out dancing again in the evening.. but decided to get home...
and got two invitations to partner up and practice tango....
the french connection, carol is so sweet. but she wants to go for the intermediate stage.. and i should bh eoing for the adv beginner classes next thou.
well lets see what she has to say.
Feeling flattered and confused.... wow a neuro doctor. wow must be a really brilliant person. And I am a sucker for nerdy gals. :) easily falls in love head over heals.
hmmmm life happens as its ment to happen.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
April 15 2012,,,, Tango on a rainny day
Sunday, April 15 2012
Intense Tango day 2.... and boy oh boy,,, the french connection was awesome with cor. I was hoping to ask her number and before I could she asked me for my email... hmmmmm
just sad that she is going west for a few days.. hopefully we can catch up after that and join up for classes together.
Intense Tango day 2.... and boy oh boy,,, the french connection was awesome with cor. I was hoping to ask her number and before I could she asked me for my email... hmmmmm
just sad that she is going west for a few days.. hopefully we can catch up after that and join up for classes together.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Apr 14 2012, saturday, VISHU
Saturday, Apr 14 2012
yea.. woke up around 9:30 and called up home and talked to dad and cousin. called up aunts home and talked to mom and sisters. Wished them all Happy Vishu.
Cheers
got to see a comment on fb,,
Patience with family is love
Patience with others is respect
Patience with self is confidence
-Unknown
Just the motivation I needed. Feeling that so right as I am not getting much upset at things anymore. more like taking the buddhist point of view. just to imagine it all as temporary and to realize that during the process of things happening and letting it all go, like one is going to be dead the next moment. What happens..... just that one is dead, other things will just go on fine without us. Just that we let our ego govern our thoughts into thinking that we are the ones who are sustaining the things we are related to or working on. but no, all things will go on as its or upto its own end of phase.
For some reason was thinking of Slovenia.. whats my relation to that part of the world. only that sa mentioned that she was living and going for runs close to the border in Italy.. \
Was thinking of news from back home. one of the cousins cousin getting married and for the party on the night before the wedding, there were about 6000 (six thousand people).... damm thats like about 20,000 US dollars for dinner on the guests and family. Non vegetarian menu, goat, chicken, biriyani and what not.
And on the wedding ,, phew there were 3 huge halls full with live video in the other 2 halls... but lunch was vegetarian... good go. I would rather marry in secret and have a registered marriage than face that huge a crowd.
Ahhhh 2 hrs of intense tango..... woow
it was nice meeting a the french gal Carol ,,, so cute ascent. felt like kissin her when she spoke. and she was so sweet and nice as we both struggled thru a few moves to get it right.
yea.. woke up around 9:30 and called up home and talked to dad and cousin. called up aunts home and talked to mom and sisters. Wished them all Happy Vishu.
Cheers
got to see a comment on fb,,
Patience with family is love
Patience with others is respect
Patience with self is confidence
-Unknown
Just the motivation I needed. Feeling that so right as I am not getting much upset at things anymore. more like taking the buddhist point of view. just to imagine it all as temporary and to realize that during the process of things happening and letting it all go, like one is going to be dead the next moment. What happens..... just that one is dead, other things will just go on fine without us. Just that we let our ego govern our thoughts into thinking that we are the ones who are sustaining the things we are related to or working on. but no, all things will go on as its or upto its own end of phase.
For some reason was thinking of Slovenia.. whats my relation to that part of the world. only that sa mentioned that she was living and going for runs close to the border in Italy.. \
Was thinking of news from back home. one of the cousins cousin getting married and for the party on the night before the wedding, there were about 6000 (six thousand people).... damm thats like about 20,000 US dollars for dinner on the guests and family. Non vegetarian menu, goat, chicken, biriyani and what not.
And on the wedding ,, phew there were 3 huge halls full with live video in the other 2 halls... but lunch was vegetarian... good go. I would rather marry in secret and have a registered marriage than face that huge a crowd.
Ahhhh 2 hrs of intense tango..... woow
It was such a nice feeling connecting with a few and getting them to follow.. wow height of feeling high. One gal blew me away with the way she glided in my arm.ahhhh that is one lady who knows to follow and will drive the world crazy .
it was nice meeting a the french gal Carol ,,, so cute ascent. felt like kissin her when she spoke. and she was so sweet and nice as we both struggled thru a few moves to get it right.
Friday, Apr 13
Was feeling better today morning. After I got shens mail went for tango in the evening. as expected entered late, and got left out, with all the judgmental gals, who did not want to partner with a brown skinned guy.... so my first partner turned out to be the super smoking hot instructor, whos face light up after the first few steps and asked me if I did it before.. woooo.. I was almost shivering and told her how tensed I was feeling with my first steps....
Then ended up partnering with another gal sweet gal Emily, who looked like was with out a partner and walked towards me. yea... my first real Tango partner.. danced with her for most of the class and we rocked it... it was nice to see the regrets on the faces of the few snobs who did not want to partner with me before... well karma has a way to get to ya.
hehehe..
went for salsa after and met a gal from india who is into performing..... ahhhh not a big fan of performares, always seeking too much attention to themselves... but she was so delighted and kept complimenting me. hmm feels warm.
should have danced with the few other indian gals who were beginners,, but did not feel the energy to go over and ask them ,,, fear of the eternal "no". not worth screwing up my mood with their possible no's as I did not feel inspired to over comet the thought of getting rejected either.
Was feeling better today morning. After I got shens mail went for tango in the evening. as expected entered late, and got left out, with all the judgmental gals, who did not want to partner with a brown skinned guy.... so my first partner turned out to be the super smoking hot instructor, whos face light up after the first few steps and asked me if I did it before.. woooo.. I was almost shivering and told her how tensed I was feeling with my first steps....
Then ended up partnering with another gal sweet gal Emily, who looked like was with out a partner and walked towards me. yea... my first real Tango partner.. danced with her for most of the class and we rocked it... it was nice to see the regrets on the faces of the few snobs who did not want to partner with me before... well karma has a way to get to ya.
hehehe..
went for salsa after and met a gal from india who is into performing..... ahhhh not a big fan of performares, always seeking too much attention to themselves... but she was so delighted and kept complimenting me. hmm feels warm.
should have danced with the few other indian gals who were beginners,, but did not feel the energy to go over and ask them ,,, fear of the eternal "no". not worth screwing up my mood with their possible no's as I did not feel inspired to over comet the thought of getting rejected either.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Apr 12 2012... ssssik
Thursday, Apr 12 2012
got up feeling a bit better, did not have dinner last night,
Then just had a bannana for breakfas and took off for work around 7:30. got to be there for the meeting. lets see how it goes.. no lunch....
then after the 1 to 3 meeting. was exhausted and thought that I passed out a few times during the meeting. got out of work around 4:30 and back home.. feeling tired and can feel the fever and strain in my eyes.
ahhh so much for viral fever attack,, only had heard about this,, don't remember going down like this.
Funny comment by anj on facebook
Every man loves two women - one is the creation of his imagination and the other is not born yet. - Rumi
Which I think should be
got up feeling a bit better, did not have dinner last night,
Then just had a bannana for breakfas and took off for work around 7:30. got to be there for the meeting. lets see how it goes.. no lunch....
then after the 1 to 3 meeting. was exhausted and thought that I passed out a few times during the meeting. got out of work around 4:30 and back home.. feeling tired and can feel the fever and strain in my eyes.
ahhh so much for viral fever attack,, only had heard about this,, don't remember going down like this.
Funny comment by anj on facebook
Every man loves two women - one is the creation of his imagination and the other is not born yet. - Rumi
Which I think should be
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Apr 11 2012,,, Sick and bed ridden
Wednesday, Apr 11 2012
I am suddenly sick and bed ridden, not even having the energy to go to the kitchen.....
Hope I survive the night.
I am suddenly sick and bed ridden, not even having the energy to go to the kitchen.....
Hope I survive the night.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Apr 10 2012. Tuesday dragging by
Tuesday, Apr 10 2012
it was a drag, again not getting or seeing any big action.
kind of got a screwed up response from the vendor. so not sure how long or in what direction the project would move in.
it was a drag, again not getting or seeing any big action.
kind of got a screwed up response from the vendor. so not sure how long or in what direction the project would move in.
Apr 09 2012 moody monday
Monday, Apr 09 2012
it was a draggin, moody monday.. guess its all the tiredness from hiking 10 miles in the wilderness on sat
it was a draggin, moody monday.. guess its all the tiredness from hiking 10 miles in the wilderness on sat
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Apr 08 2012, Salmom curry
Sunday, Apr 08 2012
Got cooking on the salmon curry with Wild Alaskan Salmon. atleast thats what the lable said.
Ended up cooking it in a very different way and the smell and look was so different and awesome. yummm
Now my apt smells of curry . :)
Trouble for the Gujju neighbors , they seemed to have lit up all kinds of incense sticks not able to bear the smell of fish. hehehe
Tried going to costco. but closed for easter. damm no printer ink. got to do it in the next few days to take print out of all the stuff I need to take back up off.
Was an interesting hike chatting with jd and shn.. interesting conversation from jd on her new book and her travels around itly.. maybe one of these days, I will make it there and also get to travel to greece.
It was great talking with parents for about 1 hr today.
Got to know of a marriage of a cousin, which had about 6,000 people on the day before the wedding and more than 6,000 the day of the wedding, happening in 3 huge halls, with live telecast in the other halls. wow....
who said Indians are poor. damm filthy rich and throwing money like crazy.
Indian and chinese economy is going to take over the world. mostly chinese I think.
The chinese are too competitive and too smart. Something which makes Indians look like lazy bums... the europeans are definitely screwed. Matter of time before Germany gets dragged down by the weight of the Lazy greeks, spanish, Czechs, portuguse, English and irish.
Got cooking on the salmon curry with Wild Alaskan Salmon. atleast thats what the lable said.
Ended up cooking it in a very different way and the smell and look was so different and awesome. yummm
Now my apt smells of curry . :)
Trouble for the Gujju neighbors , they seemed to have lit up all kinds of incense sticks not able to bear the smell of fish. hehehe
Tried going to costco. but closed for easter. damm no printer ink. got to do it in the next few days to take print out of all the stuff I need to take back up off.
Was an interesting hike chatting with jd and shn.. interesting conversation from jd on her new book and her travels around itly.. maybe one of these days, I will make it there and also get to travel to greece.
It was great talking with parents for about 1 hr today.
Got to know of a marriage of a cousin, which had about 6,000 people on the day before the wedding and more than 6,000 the day of the wedding, happening in 3 huge halls, with live telecast in the other halls. wow....
who said Indians are poor. damm filthy rich and throwing money like crazy.
Indian and chinese economy is going to take over the world. mostly chinese I think.
The chinese are too competitive and too smart. Something which makes Indians look like lazy bums... the europeans are definitely screwed. Matter of time before Germany gets dragged down by the weight of the Lazy greeks, spanish, Czechs, portuguse, English and irish.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Apr 07 2012,,, Hikinggg
Saturday,, Apr 07 2012
off for a morning hike with the group,,, lets see if there are any interesting people to meet up. :)))) well lets see how good Venus and the rest of the stars are going to be to me,, about time.
But before that a stop over at costco for the printer ink refill.
off for a morning hike with the group,,, lets see if there are any interesting people to meet up. :)))) well lets see how good Venus and the rest of the stars are going to be to me,, about time.
But before that a stop over at costco for the printer ink refill.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Apr 06 2012 Venus in the Air - FULL MOON
Friday, Apr 06 2012
Dear V,
With Venus
holding the reins over the next few days, the cosmos will take you in so many directions that it'll be
hard to keep track of where you're going -- and which way is up!
The ride begins in a romantic fog on April
6, when Venus squares off against Neptune. Things may seem rose-colored, but you're probably not seeing
the relationship for what it really is -- meaning that you could fall hard when reality rears its ugly
head. Remember: If things seem too good to be true, they probably are. Do your best to breathe deeply
and look at the full picture.
With so much Venusian influence, this is an ideal week to unlock your deepest romantic
desires ....
wooooooo... tell me about it,,, especially with so many smouldering looks thrown in my direction the Heat is getting turned on. hehehe its nice to watch gals act like little girls seeking my attention for a change. hehehehe.
Yes I am single
you would have to be amazing to change that....
thats an amazing piece of msg on kees facebook page.
having a martini and sitting it out at home and wondering should I go for the hike tomorrow.. no hotties seem to have signed up,
And for now and present, the full moon night of friday evening...in no mood to drive 40 miles to downtown philly in the cold for any salsa.
As you mature you realise that its not worth falling in love or been in a relationship which is not that great or seems to head down the drain. Would rather be single and enjoy and have all the fun of flirting and playing around than get hitched with someone who seems to be in a entirly different world.... so the quote seems to make a big sense... and going by the likes its getting I can see that its mostly single people.... and glad to see some who seem to have matured too.
Interesting piece of information :
Traditionally, the April full moon is known as "the Pink Moon," supposedly as a tribute to the grass pink or wild ground phlox, considered one of the earliest widespread flowers of the spring. Other monikers include the Full Sprouting Grass Moon, the Egg Moon and, among coastal Native American tribes, the Full Fish Moon, for when the shad came upstream to spawn.
Speaking of maturity,, if something is ment to happen, it will, so I should stop pushing myself or rather control the urge to stop myself from chasing or looking for love in eevery passing beautiful face.
if its ment to happen it will. things will fall into place as pre-destined and without even having to make an effort, things will start happening and pulling you in that direction.. that was something I noticed with the way things happened with Eva. Like things just kept happening at the right time.. and that made me believe to the extend that she must be in the one and that she loved me. only to sadly discover that her love or my imagination that she was in love with me was as superficial and shallow as can me. And like a fool I led myself to believe many things.
ahhhhh its all my fault to let my imagination run wild with the thoughts of perfect love.
But hey,, life goes on and so does the learning. so many betrayls, so many struggles, so many falls,,, but in the end here I am up and dusting off all the nasty falls and moving on with my life.... again as the quote goes....
Yes I am single
you would have to be amazing to change that....
Yes I am single
you would have to be amazing to change that....
thats an amazing piece of msg on kees facebook page.
having a martini and sitting it out at home and wondering should I go for the hike tomorrow.. no hotties seem to have signed up,
And for now and present, the full moon night of friday evening...in no mood to drive 40 miles to downtown philly in the cold for any salsa.
As you mature you realise that its not worth falling in love or been in a relationship which is not that great or seems to head down the drain. Would rather be single and enjoy and have all the fun of flirting and playing around than get hitched with someone who seems to be in a entirly different world.... so the quote seems to make a big sense... and going by the likes its getting I can see that its mostly single people.... and glad to see some who seem to have matured too.
Interesting piece of information :
Traditionally, the April full moon is known as "the Pink Moon," supposedly as a tribute to the grass pink or wild ground phlox, considered one of the earliest widespread flowers of the spring. Other monikers include the Full Sprouting Grass Moon, the Egg Moon and, among coastal Native American tribes, the Full Fish Moon, for when the shad came upstream to spawn.
Speaking of maturity,, if something is ment to happen, it will, so I should stop pushing myself or rather control the urge to stop myself from chasing or looking for love in eevery passing beautiful face.
if its ment to happen it will. things will fall into place as pre-destined and without even having to make an effort, things will start happening and pulling you in that direction.. that was something I noticed with the way things happened with Eva. Like things just kept happening at the right time.. and that made me believe to the extend that she must be in the one and that she loved me. only to sadly discover that her love or my imagination that she was in love with me was as superficial and shallow as can me. And like a fool I led myself to believe many things.
ahhhhh its all my fault to let my imagination run wild with the thoughts of perfect love.
But hey,, life goes on and so does the learning. so many betrayls, so many struggles, so many falls,,, but in the end here I am up and dusting off all the nasty falls and moving on with my life.... again as the quote goes....
Yes I am single
you would have to be amazing to change that....
Thursday, Apr 05 2012
Got to work kind of in time around 8:15 and got cracking on hitting the action button, started sending out mails instead of been the shy guy waiting for others to make their move and set the direction and get things done in their own sweet time.
talk with dan was more fruitful and bonding.
got out for some salsa a the parx
the crowd seems to have changed, not many of the hot regulars..
Got to work kind of in time around 8:15 and got cracking on hitting the action button, started sending out mails instead of been the shy guy waiting for others to make their move and set the direction and get things done in their own sweet time.
talk with dan was more fruitful and bonding.
got out for some salsa a the parx
the crowd seems to have changed, not many of the hot regulars..
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Apr 04 2012 Great Relationships
Wednesday, Apr 04 2012... .04042012
nice... it was great reading posts from ki... she seems to be on a spiritual path, Such a sudden change from her superficial leaning and attitudes she had before. is it age, is it maturity kicking in or is it experience.
great quote :
Relationships are formed out of two reasons :
First is to Find out the Similarities
Second is to Respect the Differences.
So true...
What do I need to have or what kind of person should I go for.. surely not for the selfish , selfcentered, honor-less, persons with zero sense of loyalty and commitment.
Got to go for someone who is like me. caring and working hard to take care of the other person and who has a sense of sincere loyalty and commitment. That which comes from growing up in a family oriented and community oriented upbringing. Where at an young age one is taught to respect and consider the wishes and needs of the other people in the family. Someone who knows how to respect the Host and be a good guest. Someone who can be a good respectful host.
yeaaa,, no that I cracked the code, time to treat myself to some Son papdi and watch dancing with the stars elimination.. great to see the stars turning out great performances... The british singer not only looks smoldering hot and lovely, she can really dance like a pro.
The greek gal is sweet and HOT too.
hmmm wonder how it might be dating a greek gal.
nice... it was great reading posts from ki... she seems to be on a spiritual path, Such a sudden change from her superficial leaning and attitudes she had before. is it age, is it maturity kicking in or is it experience.
great quote :
Relationships are formed out of two reasons :
First is to Find out the Similarities
Second is to Respect the Differences.
So true...
What do I need to have or what kind of person should I go for.. surely not for the selfish , selfcentered, honor-less, persons with zero sense of loyalty and commitment.
Got to go for someone who is like me. caring and working hard to take care of the other person and who has a sense of sincere loyalty and commitment. That which comes from growing up in a family oriented and community oriented upbringing. Where at an young age one is taught to respect and consider the wishes and needs of the other people in the family. Someone who knows how to respect the Host and be a good guest. Someone who can be a good respectful host.
yeaaa,, no that I cracked the code, time to treat myself to some Son papdi and watch dancing with the stars elimination.. great to see the stars turning out great performances... The british singer not only looks smoldering hot and lovely, she can really dance like a pro.
The greek gal is sweet and HOT too.
hmmm wonder how it might be dating a greek gal.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
April 03 2012, visa doc issues
Tuesday, April 03 2012
Got to work and started off well .. then suddenly the mail comes in from bal ra... wanting the details of my old passports exit and entry into us entered too.. asked her officially I am not supposed to have the passport its just by accident that they gave it back to me at the indian consulate... to which she did not have an answer and stuck to ,, need to update with all the details... ahhhh such a pain in a world where people are not able to see beyond their own 2 yards.
took me about 2 hrs to get the dates and upload the doc. after that lost mood to work.
So was on apple and felt good recovering some of my monies.
Still having major issues with the people living below my house smoking and that smoke and alcohol smell getting into my apartment. mostly in the kitchen area. luckily nothing in the bed room so far.
Got to work and started off well .. then suddenly the mail comes in from bal ra... wanting the details of my old passports exit and entry into us entered too.. asked her officially I am not supposed to have the passport its just by accident that they gave it back to me at the indian consulate... to which she did not have an answer and stuck to ,, need to update with all the details... ahhhh such a pain in a world where people are not able to see beyond their own 2 yards.
took me about 2 hrs to get the dates and upload the doc. after that lost mood to work.
So was on apple and felt good recovering some of my monies.
Still having major issues with the people living below my house smoking and that smoke and alcohol smell getting into my apartment. mostly in the kitchen area. luckily nothing in the bed room so far.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Apr 02 2012. Intense day at work
Monday Apr 02 2012
Intense day at work.
started the day by picking up tan around 7:30am and reached work around 7:55am
maybe thats the rout I need to take to reach work too, seems to be faster and lesser traffic stops around that time. Will miss the narrower roads and the drive in the pure country side. but I could take that when returning in the evening...
Intense day at work.
started the day by picking up tan around 7:30am and reached work around 7:55am
maybe thats the rout I need to take to reach work too, seems to be faster and lesser traffic stops around that time. Will miss the narrower roads and the drive in the pure country side. but I could take that when returning in the evening...
Sunday, April 1, 2012
April 01 2012,,, Day of intense meditation at the Buddhist temple
Sunday, Apr 01 2012,,
reached the temple around 10 and was there upto 12,,,, my first 2 hrs of intense group meditation.
its funny how the senses get tuned to the surrounding when one meditates,,, I hardly spoke a few words today. and on the call from tan, also a few words..
getting more worried with the way things are happening or the conversations with parents at home. dad seems to be going into a depressive mood with both his sons not getting married and the pressures from everyone who they meet asking about it.... Feel bad for them.
But what can I do. My life is that of a gypsy, not able to put down any roots. Looking for financial stability, and scared of what happened when I was in van, Ending up doing minimum wages jobs and the scare of becoming homeless any moment. Hardly able to afford anything. Not that I am out of the woods yet. Even here its just a bit better thats all. But the scare of loosing the job and then not able to find one is always like a sword hanging over my head.
How can I provide for a family , give them a stable home to grow up in. When my own life is not stable and secure.
It would be great to go and live in India, well not the cities with its pollution and crazy life. about 2 to 4 hrs spend on the road commuting in the thick pollution from traffic.
It would be great to be live in the lil village of mine with its green purity. But then will be hounded by question on my life and what am I doing with it in terms of doing something like everyone else, A job . and earning or contributing positively like everyone else in the society.
ohhh what a continuous struggle.
yesterday had gone to a party, where I was the only one who turned up at sids house, poor old man. Living a lonely life. the others kind of bailed out. Wonder if my life will end up like his. Atleast he has many extra activities going on in terms of leading people on hik es.. and many people like me who are new to the city and lonely end up on these hike.
reached the temple around 10 and was there upto 12,,,, my first 2 hrs of intense group meditation.
its funny how the senses get tuned to the surrounding when one meditates,,, I hardly spoke a few words today. and on the call from tan, also a few words..
getting more worried with the way things are happening or the conversations with parents at home. dad seems to be going into a depressive mood with both his sons not getting married and the pressures from everyone who they meet asking about it.... Feel bad for them.
But what can I do. My life is that of a gypsy, not able to put down any roots. Looking for financial stability, and scared of what happened when I was in van, Ending up doing minimum wages jobs and the scare of becoming homeless any moment. Hardly able to afford anything. Not that I am out of the woods yet. Even here its just a bit better thats all. But the scare of loosing the job and then not able to find one is always like a sword hanging over my head.
How can I provide for a family , give them a stable home to grow up in. When my own life is not stable and secure.
It would be great to go and live in India, well not the cities with its pollution and crazy life. about 2 to 4 hrs spend on the road commuting in the thick pollution from traffic.
It would be great to be live in the lil village of mine with its green purity. But then will be hounded by question on my life and what am I doing with it in terms of doing something like everyone else, A job . and earning or contributing positively like everyone else in the society.
ohhh what a continuous struggle.
yesterday had gone to a party, where I was the only one who turned up at sids house, poor old man. Living a lonely life. the others kind of bailed out. Wonder if my life will end up like his. Atleast he has many extra activities going on in terms of leading people on hik es.. and many people like me who are new to the city and lonely end up on these hike.
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