Apr 15 2014 Vishu week

Tuesday Apr 15 2014

...... patient wait for another 4 hrs to know the course of my fate and life ,,,,, the wait and boredom is a torture....

hmmm in the mean time I am toying around with the idea for a Hollywood movie script --- >" The Girl with the Butterfly Smile "

A smile so beautiful,, 
that every time she smiled.... 
butterflies just fluttered and danced around in joy.... 
sunlight bounced of their wings 
such that it made the northern lights look pale ..... 
The lights twisted, turned, bounced of the million soft wings in heavenly splendor...
,,,ohhhh if only god was human, he would probably understand that its not right to emotionally torture people... thats the devils creed. hehehehe...

Ever wonder whats your purpose in life?

There was one time, when I thought,, yea the purpose of my life was to be happy, remain Happy.

So I went about the process of loving my own self, doing the things I wanted to do when I wanted to do and generally feeling happy about it for some time.

Then after sometime I asked myself so whats the purpose of other peoples lives,, whats the purpose of other living creatures that share this world of ours??!!??

hmmm what do we all have in common? 

--- many breath air, eat food, ,,,, repeat the process and its supporting actions over and over again. And some fade out, wither out, expire, die...

What is it that we all do... !!???? what is that common and seems to have purpose for all living creatures....

is the purpose of all other creatures to be happy?  

Animals, fish, worms, reptiles, trees, plants, butterflies, birds, bacteria, amoeba...... 

,, hmmm maybe... 

And most of them maybe happy, just because they get something to eat..

And then it stuck me....

We all are here for one and only one purpose.. that is to.... -->

.....

Groups of like creatures were formed, societies and communities formed, 

Creatures like Ants and human beings formed very organized groups,

Human beings went on to create religion, laws, machines, buildings and other service oriented functions,

All for the one and only purpose of supporting this one,,,,,

*************** Apr -14 - 2014 monday ************

Interesting.... ,,,,, I rather dance with beginners than snobby experts or performers...
I think dancers are broadly in two categories (neither are wrong, its just their right to choose and prefer ).. 

1) who dance to perform, for the attention, for the fame, they are usually looking around to see who is watching them or looking at the mirror when dancing.

2) who partner dance to connect with their dance partner, don't care about who is watching, the mirror is just a distraction..... like me for the pure of joy of syncing up each other energy and frequency of vibrations..
.... (again each person has their own right to choose what and who they wish to dance with)...
cheers.

************

*************** Apr -13 - 2014 Sunday ************

Phew! what a great end to the year, with 5 days of salsa music and a few great dances. Loved dancing with a few beginners today...... they followed so well. 

Cheers to the start of the Malayalam New Year.... cheers and Happy Vishu to all

******

Feel like a missionary trying to convert people into the religion of Salsa dancing and Toastmasters ..... Both great tools I found helped me shed some of my shyness .....

******

Ethical Strength of Character : Is NOT doing to others what you Would Not want done to you. 

************** Apr 12 2012 SAturday...

Going to be a non stop busy day.. ahhh just finished 3 hrs listening to inspiring speeches @ toastmasters contest.

Now off for some Spanish speaking classes (3hrs for Spanish fun),,, 
Then for some salsa at XO and then more salsa at Tumbleweeds 
(where I believe they play the best salsa music,,, rather the kind of music I like.... Cuban at heart )

************Toastmasters

Love hearing from people about their life, find it very inspiring to hear what they share with a passion and conviction that holds my attention.

Take away from people sharing parts of their life

1) Make a list of 50 wishes , DO NOT use common sense...

2) Hug for 20 seconds, your loved ones, friends,,,,, you will change yourself and the person you are hugging

3) Always give 100 percent, unless you are giving blood (man wearing a T-shirt at a blood donation place)

4) Dare to Dream and dare to Dream big

5) Sharing knowledge equals to sharing wealth 

***************

hmmmmmmm....
That poetically beautiful moment, when you get a dance partner who follows smoothly like a paint brush over canvas.....
Every stroke filled with the magical energy of connection,,,,, feeding and liberating the crazy creativity.....
Suddenly you are dancing and making moves you never even knew before..... Having laughter filled fun with the resulting goofiness... and still appreciating each other for those magical moments...  

****************@ Tumbleweed

ahhh what a great feeling... just danced one Cumbia with an amazingly beautiful gal ,, whos smile felt like the light from a million candles .... just that one dance was enough to keep me smiling ear to ear.. wow! she was so sweet and down to earth.... 

****************@ xo

t was nice to introduce a couple of people I met at the Spanish class to Salsa. And huge thanks to the gals who were kind enough to dance with beginner guys. ...
.hahaha... and to top it all, it was funny meeting a Gorgeous and friendly Ethiopian Princess ,, how could someone have so beautiful looking eyes.

****

Apr-11-2014 Heart break and LA

Friday Apr 11 2014

Feeling very Heart Broken   ...... life sure THROWS, nooooo HURLS curve balls at me..... like Catch 22 kind of ,, paradoxical , contradictory .. aahhhhhh ,, all I want is a simple life.... booooohoooo.. 

For some reason Edmonton did to me in a few days, what Ashburn could never do to me in more than an year there, nor philly ..... It stole my heart.. no wonder its called the "heartland"

,,,, just going thru my heart wrenching feelings of helplessness of my desires and lifes happenings... great to be going to LA... at the same time heart breaking to be leaving Etown... its like going from the Heartland (edmonton is known as that) to the Fake Land (LA)..


yesterday after 2 rounds of interview,, got to know in the morning that I have been selected. had 2 other rounds of interview before that....

ITs great to be having a job.. And I need to be greatfull for that.
At a place others would just love to have and have my life,, as chakr said, he would love to swap with me.

... yea nothing is for ever,, but I always wanted a simple life at one place with one gal who would also love me as much as I love her,,, but ,,,, I end up becoming a gypsy.... all my life.. lets see.. maybe I am getting too old and sentimental.. it was easy moving away from Ashburn Virginia in Feb end.. as I did not feel that warm connection there even after living there for one year... and here in just one month.. ahhh its heart breaking

Apr-09-2014 Nobody-Somebody

Wednesday Apr-09-2014
Been a Nobody
And hoping to be loved by - Somebody  ...

Is a story for Anybody
who loves - Somebody :)

..

It was interesting to get a 2nd round of interview call . Not sure to be happy about it, as it feels heart breaking to be getting away from Edmon... especially since I so foolishly and in a very out of control way fell head over heals for the girl with the butter fly smile.

If only she knew how much my heart goes all limp and googly everytime I think about her and her smile and her sweet lovely big eyes...

Apr 08 2014, Sharing and loving

Tuesday, Apr 08 2014.

When one is on a dizzy High by been in love, one tends to think with a open heart and mind of the world been a very loving and wonderful place and everyone is going to be loving, positive and wonderful just like us.
And the reality of the world (or each persons world) is what they try to spread and preach.

When in love, they tend to want to spread the love to every human being they come across, forgive enemies and people who hurt them , love them inspite of all , walk around with a EAR-to-EAR smile.

Happy, happy, happy,,, and spreading happiness and the feeling of happiness as Happiness tends to overflow from the heart over filled with love. Its very contagious. :)

Comparing this with the people who seem to be closed, been secretive, afraid, afraid of others, what others will say or think about them...... These are people or are people going thru not feelings of not having love or feelings of love and greater goodness in themselves that they end up and tend to see the same in other around them.

Even on facebook, one can see that when is in love, people tend to be open and expressive about their feeling and seem to want to spread the goodness to the others around the world.
And those involved in some kind of spooky affairs , that they themselves are not sure (and maybe their inner soul tells them that they are doing something wrong) tend to be overly secretive and try to project to the others some kind of fake projection of what they are going thru and afraid to reveal the real feeling and relations they are having......

The biggest give away about their relationship been screwed up is that they themselves are not sure and are not been true to their Honest feelings and intentions. :)

Apr 06 2014, Making my heart flutter everywhere

Sunday, Apr 06 2014

Had two interviews last week, one for New york and another for Los Angles ,, east coast to west coast.
And it was another feeling of highs, been with the people of spanish beginner classes.
Except the heart break that caro is moving off to toronto. She is so sincerely sweet and such a wonderful person. Can only feel the honest , nice feeling or sweetness around her. Hopefully her life improves and gets better for her.
And the new teacher from Colm, had seen her at salsa. Well now atleast I know one other person from outside salsa at salsa. :)

Was not a great week for salsa. Funny that I am in the first city where they don't have a regular salsa on a Friday.

But the sunday salsa after not having it last week, should be good. Excited and confused about meeting the smile that I have fallen in love with or in other words, the smile that I have a crush on.
awwww how can a smile be so heart disarmingly disarming , how could it invoke the feeling of happiness in me, how could it make me smile like I am in love and on top of the world.!!!!????

Looking into her eyes and thinking " If only you knew how much I am falling in love with you spirit and your smile"
wonder what she is thinking with that sweet smile, or whats cooking behind that sweet smile.!

The school boy like feeling of excitement, charging up my body and energy levels. Making me smile from ear to ear. Like nothing else in the world matters.

Mar 31 Monday. End of a Confusing Month... am I in love again?

Monday, Mar 31 2014

Am I in love again, feel so much like a kid to be infatuated by the smile of one person. Like all the walls I built up the past few years cause of the last heart break seems to just melt away.

What a tipsy feeling, just not able to stop thinking about that sweet warm smile that melted my heart. All the signs of one sided love. But what a great feeling to be back with those feelings. Like I could just go on with out food and sleep for ever.

that feeling of liberating a 100,000 butterflies out from my heart, gently floating around me, can't stop smiling.

,,,,, all this inspite of been out of work .

Also another record of having worked for the same company for 4 years. Anniversary.

Wish I could just stay on in Ed and just end up in reciprocal love with her and live the rest of our lives together for ever.

But,,,,, then reality and practicality is another story of pulling me back from the highs of the feeling of love.

Tomorrow starts the next Q2, where will my life take me, where is this all leading on too.
Only time will tell.

It was one of my visions to be living like this in this kind of apartment.. with a view, swimming pool , gym.. well some visions come true, just wished that it was also with someone I love and who loves me.

Mar 24 .. Rolling of the project,, next change

Monday, Mar 24 2014

hmmm great start to the week.. get to know that with change in scope requested by the client, I would be off the project.

Just about settling down,, or rather in the process and now this uncertainity.