Monday Feb 03 2014
New month, new week, new day..
My life that i never planned
- No permanent Address (tough to put an address on the Passport when I don't live more than an year at one place).
- No steady job that I can say, yes I have been working for this company or at this place for 10 years... all the jobs I held were just in single digit years.
- Travel, Travel, Travel, good for small party talk, but not a great life in terms of stability and peace. Long term friends or relationships.
- Don't have too many permanent accessories (cause there is no permanent place to store it or keep it and a huge burden during the frequent relocations).
- Home is where the heart is,,, I am now confused as to where my home is. My heart is all over the world.
- Travel brings out the best and worst in people. A great gauge to decide on a potential mate for life.
will get to know their good side of been a caring, helping, supporting person and a team player
OR
a selfish person, who will suck out the energy in your life,,,,your life would be better with out and not worth fighting for.
Unplanned travel is like life, how you go about it as an individual or as a person worthy of been in a team or a person who uses the team for their own selfish agenda.
Would you want to be part of a team where you are been used and utilize whenever the other person finds it convenient or would you want to be in a team that brings out the spirit goodness of been in a supporting team that helps bring out the best in each other.
A good and best team mate is someone who is mature, responsible and thinks about the team before own self most of the time.
Monday, February 3, 2014
Saturday, February 1, 2014
Feb 01 2014.... Self Confidence!!??
Saturday Feb 01 2014
Wish I had more belief, self confidence, self esteem,,,,,
Why is it so low for me compared to the other?.
Is it Culture? Personalty? Others who are always blaming me for their failures? been too sensitive to others opinions or remarks? did I grow up overly protected from the world that I am not able to handle rejections well? too many rejections?
Why? What?
It was nice to see a guy with lot of similar back ground as mine high school and pre Engineering from hyd and then ending up in private college in karnataka becoming the ceo of micro soft. The encouraging kicker is that he same year as me.
So does that mean that I can become something big too and help contributing to making a huge change in this world for the better?
Why not?
Have to keep trying and trying,,, get up and pull myself up after every fall and get working harder to work at becoming better.
Wish I had more belief, self confidence, self esteem,,,,,
Why is it so low for me compared to the other?.
Is it Culture? Personalty? Others who are always blaming me for their failures? been too sensitive to others opinions or remarks? did I grow up overly protected from the world that I am not able to handle rejections well? too many rejections?
Why? What?
It was nice to see a guy with lot of similar back ground as mine high school and pre Engineering from hyd and then ending up in private college in karnataka becoming the ceo of micro soft. The encouraging kicker is that he same year as me.
So does that mean that I can become something big too and help contributing to making a huge change in this world for the better?
Why not?
Have to keep trying and trying,,, get up and pull myself up after every fall and get working harder to work at becoming better.
Monday, January 27, 2014
Jan 27 2914, dull start of the week
Monday, Jan 27 2014
After a very quite weekend mostly spent at home. Trying to re energize self and soul, trying to get my spirits up and going.All cause of the cold outside.Made a new drink that I was able to come up with .. of fresh cut ginger, put in a bit of turmeric power and microwaved it in a cup of water....
Ginger is great to improve our immune system, turmeric has healing powers ,, good for any internal cuts and bleeding within the colon and I remember using it when I had a major injury to my leg, it healed like magic.
So made it for the second day.
Wish I was able to get out and go for a run ,, even getting to the gym in the neighborhood for the thread mill seems to not hold that much of a motivation factor,, even thou its again a privilege that I am given and not realizing the value and not been appreciative and grateful for those privileges of luxury.
Have been having the fruit mix, blending it in the blender and having it like a smoothie. Seems to reduce the waste that has been making me feel guilty when I end up throwing out about 50% of the fruits I end up buying but not consuming (or lazy to consume).
Getting the small portions of mixed-cut fruits seems to be better and easier to consume after blending it.
Its exactly to the day last month that was my last working day. Time sure flies (again a reminder).Don't seem to be able to concentrate and study. things I am so privileged to have opportunity for.
Whyyyyy, ,,, is it the ADD or is it just my own dis content and the search for something more exciting, or is it just plain laziness, with no sense of accountability but a sense of Entitlement (false)?
Oh why am I been so ungrateful and not putting in the disciplined focus thats needed to make my life productive for self, family and the world?
Do something good and useful for others. Learn something that I am given an opportunity to learn (a privilege actually),,,,, there by given the power and opportunity to make life around me better.
Nothing much happening on the side of the getting a new project.was there on Saturday evening as part of the dry run for the presentation pitch they were making to one of the possible clients... still a long way to go...Realistically seems like a far fetched shot.
****************Some people become so losts deep in hate, that they become blinded by any goodness or all the goodness thats there in the object of their feelings.was thinking about the people on facebook friends, who so seem to trash obama at every possible opportunity. ITs like unknown to them they have a deep racial bias. So easily seems to have forgotten the republican pres before who led the people into war and chaos in Iraq, not to mention the lives of the poor soldiers lost and the impact that the families are burdened with.*****
Friday, January 24, 2014
Jan 24 2014, Black under the eye
Friday, Jan 24 2014
Was wondering why in some pics the dark under my eye was showing up.
The reasoning I got to understand now is that I have not been getting enough sun due to all the cold wave. Mostly been sitting indoors. Result = skin growing pale with the depletion of pigments. But the pigments under the eyes seem to remain.
okay I am going to go and sit in the sun by the bedroom door. :)
Was wondering why in some pics the dark under my eye was showing up.
The reasoning I got to understand now is that I have not been getting enough sun due to all the cold wave. Mostly been sitting indoors. Result = skin growing pale with the depletion of pigments. But the pigments under the eyes seem to remain.
okay I am going to go and sit in the sun by the bedroom door. :)
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Jan 23 2014,,,,, the uncertainty of next job
Thrusday, Jan 23 2014
3 weeks and counting.... not sure where, what kind of job I will end up doing ,, if at all I will get a job?
So much of the repeated pattern. Not been smart enough or qualified to be in a market where the need is more than supply, means as a supplier of my services, I have to just be open to be thrown around in what ever directions the tide takes me.
3 weeks and counting.... not sure where, what kind of job I will end up doing ,, if at all I will get a job?
So much of the repeated pattern. Not been smart enough or qualified to be in a market where the need is more than supply, means as a supplier of my services, I have to just be open to be thrown around in what ever directions the tide takes me.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Jan 22 2014, Purpose in life
Wednesday Jan 22 2014
Again thoughts were going back to the purpose in Life.\\
back to
Breed, Breed, Breed.
Eat, Breed, Eat, Breed.
Competitively Breed
[seeking out the best possible available match]
All other things in life , house, dress, make up, cars, roads, weapons, morale, laws, security, hygiene, religion, ,,,,,
all of that revolves around the one Main purpose of Breeding for all living creatures : Birds, Animals, Trees, Plants, bacteria, viruses, Humans,,,,
So cheers to Breeding with the best possible AVAILABLE Match. :)
Again thoughts were going back to the purpose in Life.\\
back to
Breed, Breed, Breed.
Eat, Breed, Eat, Breed.
Competitively Breed
[seeking out the best possible available match]
All other things in life , house, dress, make up, cars, roads, weapons, morale, laws, security, hygiene, religion, ,,,,,
all of that revolves around the one Main purpose of Breeding for all living creatures : Birds, Animals, Trees, Plants, bacteria, viruses, Humans,,,,
So cheers to Breeding with the best possible AVAILABLE Match. :)
Monday, January 20, 2014
Jan 20 2014, weekend breezed by
Monday, Jan 20 2014
The weekend, just breezed by.
From going out with the group to late night break fast (or early morning 3am) . to sleeping thru most of satur-DAY to ending up watching the NFL games on sunday.
thou much of my plans of studying just did not happen or start off.
was thinking about the kindness offered by sandy to help me get a American green card. She offered all her docs and everything to help me get it. It was very touching to see that kind of volunteered kindness. Especially after experiencing all kinds of selfish self-centered women in my life. It was refreshing to have a bit of faith restored in goodness of women well atleast some of the women who are and have been in my life.
Love is so made of crazy fantasies and dreams of a perfect mate. But the perfect mate does not exists. So then we try to compromise, but that again requires two or more interested parties. For that it takes something called Loyalty and Commitment.
Not every one is loyal and commited, most are constantly looking for bigger better deals (BBD), at the first opportunity to ditch and run (move) to another ,,,,, many do go for the BBD.
Maybe its cause who they are or because they were raised that way, with no loyalty to anything (family, friends or anything). Well glad that these traits did show up pretty early in my relationships and happy that I am not stuck with such miserable creature who could have made my live miserable and short instead of Long and Happy ,, as is now :)
The weekend, just breezed by.
From going out with the group to late night break fast (or early morning 3am) . to sleeping thru most of satur-DAY to ending up watching the NFL games on sunday.
thou much of my plans of studying just did not happen or start off.
was thinking about the kindness offered by sandy to help me get a American green card. She offered all her docs and everything to help me get it. It was very touching to see that kind of volunteered kindness. Especially after experiencing all kinds of selfish self-centered women in my life. It was refreshing to have a bit of faith restored in goodness of women well atleast some of the women who are and have been in my life.
Love is so made of crazy fantasies and dreams of a perfect mate. But the perfect mate does not exists. So then we try to compromise, but that again requires two or more interested parties. For that it takes something called Loyalty and Commitment.
Not every one is loyal and commited, most are constantly looking for bigger better deals (BBD), at the first opportunity to ditch and run (move) to another ,,,,, many do go for the BBD.
Maybe its cause who they are or because they were raised that way, with no loyalty to anything (family, friends or anything). Well glad that these traits did show up pretty early in my relationships and happy that I am not stuck with such miserable creature who could have made my live miserable and short instead of Long and Happy ,, as is now :)
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