Tuesday May 01 2012
Hectic day at work,,
resolve to get into Tango getting stronger.
lets see how I feel on Wednesday.
I must be a real foolish screw ball. too romantically lost in my own world of creating romance when there is none.
Well maybe I am wrong.... maybe its just the way I am, trying to see some kind of big beautiful romance of a flame just when there a splintering sparks.
Damm crazy trick the mind plays or I let it play.
Oh how I wish I could be strong and objective oriented and selfishly focused on my needs than that of others.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Apr 30 2012. meditation and salsa
Monday, Apr 30 2012
Felt a lot of bad vibration, resulting in very high level of discomfort.
So went to downtown for meditation and then for salsa.
got talking with ven at sanfranscisco... he signed up his daughter in for a medical college in india... costing about 100k initial fee and 20k per annum in yearly fee.. thats like 200k... good god, thats something I could not even dream to have.. and here he is spending on his daughters education. and he has a son who will be following soon.. and this is for education in india. that would be like half a million just in fees.....
Makes me feel so lousy,, no wonder I am without a family. would not be able to support them and pay for their education with my own money, like my dad paid for mine.
Felt a lot of bad vibration, resulting in very high level of discomfort.
So went to downtown for meditation and then for salsa.
got talking with ven at sanfranscisco... he signed up his daughter in for a medical college in india... costing about 100k initial fee and 20k per annum in yearly fee.. thats like 200k... good god, thats something I could not even dream to have.. and here he is spending on his daughters education. and he has a son who will be following soon.. and this is for education in india. that would be like half a million just in fees.....
Makes me feel so lousy,, no wonder I am without a family. would not be able to support them and pay for their education with my own money, like my dad paid for mine.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Apr 29 2012, Intense meditation @ home
Sunday, Apr 29 2012.
Kept off alcohol, so with a rationally stable mind, able to focus sincerly with out external distraction on the requirements of actions I need to take up on and ground myself. Not improve, not raise above, not lower or anything that indicates sine waves and trubulance. Just pure grounding and neutralizing and bringing about stability.
Starting off with the words
Keep your thoughts positive
because your thoughts become your words,
Keep your words positive
because your words become your behaviors.
Keep your behaviors positive,
because your behaviors become your habit.
Keep your habits positive,
because your habits become your values.
Keep your values positive,
because your values become your destiny.
Values make a person.
Values are the flowers of ones depth in character.
Character is the off-spring of ones sincere, honest thinking and choices made.
Choices made are often the result of sacrifices and acts of unselfishness.
Putting oneself behind and putting others ahead is often an start towards unselfish practice.
Kept off alcohol, so with a rationally stable mind, able to focus sincerly with out external distraction on the requirements of actions I need to take up on and ground myself. Not improve, not raise above, not lower or anything that indicates sine waves and trubulance. Just pure grounding and neutralizing and bringing about stability.
Starting off with the words
Keep your thoughts positive
because your thoughts become your words,
Keep your words positive
because your words become your behaviors.
Keep your behaviors positive,
because your behaviors become your habit.
Keep your habits positive,
because your habits become your values.
Keep your values positive,
because your values become your destiny.
Values make a person.
Values are the flowers of ones depth in character.
Character is the off-spring of ones sincere, honest thinking and choices made.
Choices made are often the result of sacrifices and acts of unselfishness.
Putting oneself behind and putting others ahead is often an start towards unselfish practice.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Apr 28, Sat hike or not in the cold
Saturday, Apr 28 2012
woke up with the intention of going out hiking, but then looked at the company of people and did not feel much motivated to go. Kind of re enforced my plan to stay at home and save up on my energy and gas for my car.
With the rise in gas prices, its been discouraging to think of long drives. Would rather drive around closer places.
woke up with the intention of going out hiking, but then looked at the company of people and did not feel much motivated to go. Kind of re enforced my plan to stay at home and save up on my energy and gas for my car.
With the rise in gas prices, its been discouraging to think of long drives. Would rather drive around closer places.
Apr 27 2012... end of week
Friday, Apr 27 2012
End of week and almost the month of April.
Lazy day and the weather is getting colder with freez warning posted on the weather channel for the night. That kind of screws up motivation to go out and have some dance fun..... just the distance and thought of driving is overwhelming.
Maybe this week I will rest up and move in by the next. Tango top of the list with Caro coming back from her trip. only able to dream dancing with her now. hopfully will get to dance with her gentle sweetness.
got out of work around 3:15 and got my car inspection taken care off and then fixed the problem with some connecting at the left back wheel.
Kind of reminded how me and eva had a very close call, when the pin gave away on front wheel a few days after our trip. Had this happened during the trip, I am sure we would have not made it in this world. Not sure she realises how close we both came to extinction.
I am sure mirslov must have had the same kind of issue with his car.
ok for some vodka... almost finished half off the 1.7liter bottle... with one shot during weekends.. hmm.
End of week and almost the month of April.
Lazy day and the weather is getting colder with freez warning posted on the weather channel for the night. That kind of screws up motivation to go out and have some dance fun..... just the distance and thought of driving is overwhelming.
Maybe this week I will rest up and move in by the next. Tango top of the list with Caro coming back from her trip. only able to dream dancing with her now. hopfully will get to dance with her gentle sweetness.
got out of work around 3:15 and got my car inspection taken care off and then fixed the problem with some connecting at the left back wheel.
Kind of reminded how me and eva had a very close call, when the pin gave away on front wheel a few days after our trip. Had this happened during the trip, I am sure we would have not made it in this world. Not sure she realises how close we both came to extinction.
I am sure mirslov must have had the same kind of issue with his car.
ok for some vodka... almost finished half off the 1.7liter bottle... with one shot during weekends.. hmm.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Apr 26 2012 , things seem to move
Thursday, Apr 26 2012
things seem to move at work, tomorrow there will be two people less on the team.. so not really interested in joing the sick lady at the lunch table and have my brains fried up.
things seem to move at work, tomorrow there will be two people less on the team.. so not really interested in joing the sick lady at the lunch table and have my brains fried up.
Apr 25, 2012
Wednesday, Apr 25, 2012
work drags on,
attended a online presenation secession. and bam it was 10pm
work drags on,
attended a online presenation secession. and bam it was 10pm
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