d Sat - 19 Jun 2010
*****************
Wake up kind of grouchy with just 3 hrs sleep after returning late night from Salsa dancing last night. Got to meet a terrific hot looking dancer from Ukarine, must be having Uzebek heritage. She seems to have the background of a ball room dancer and very elegant.
Anyways have to be at the Hamilton Train station by 9am in New Jersey, its about an hours drive.
Get chatting with eva a bit on skype and gtalk.
then had to rush to get ready.
Reached Hamilton grand parking spaced station at 9am phew after getting lost on the way a couple of times.
Then brought the tickets,, $30 for return trip to new york. had I known this, I would have just drive to New york.
took the 9:30 train
Reached New york arounc 10:30 - 11. got out and then went to the number 2 subway station for train towards Brooklyn bridge. Decided to take the day pass for $8.75.
Got down at Church st of chambers and walked a few blocks in downtown to reach the Bridge. Holly cow, the whole world seems to have decided to come there this particular lovely warm day. Many people were biking and running on the bridge too. Great view of the city from there. So many people from different parts of the world all speaking different languages.
Mostly today I get to hear a lot of French. Was expecting to meet a few eastern european, Czech or slovak :) but came across non, I guess they are all hiking up in the National Parks.
Walked across the length of the bridge and reached garden dedicated to the WW fighters. Sat there had a snack and decided to call home. Ended up talking with dad, who was again trying to convince me to get back home and marry. Then he asked about eva, did not know what to tell him. So just said, hey you told me that the astrological horoscopes don`t match so it did not work. Then he was trying to get me to ignore the horoscope and just marry if I like her. Oh god, this is so frustrating, how do I tell him that it takes two willing people to do that and now she is not even interested in talking to me leave alone the far and distant marriage.
Mom was at her Ancestral home of her mothers. They were having some pooja there in honor of her ancestors so she was there with the rest of her family and relations. Dad been not so religious and more of a communist - atheist did not go.
After the talk with Dad, wanted to call up Eva, but was feeling so bad after the talk with Dad. Just did not have the mental motivation to call her up.
Walked around the garden and then went to the walk way by the brooklyn bridge.
Took a train back to down town to Penn Station. was feeling a bit hungry, stopped by a Halal way side food stall and ordered chicken-lamb combo with rice. The guys looked like they are from Afganistan, seemed very friendly towards me but seemed angry towards the other people . Anyways take the package and try to find a place to sit down eat. nothing seems to be around. End up walking from 33rd street to 42nd st on 8th Ave. this used to be the area I used to walk around during weekends with my childhood friend Younous when we were in New York. about 10 years ago. He is back in India after 9-11. poor guy got sent back from the airport.
Reach time square, wow they have small tables and chairs out in the open in the middel of times square. So end up with a vacant table and chair and have my yummy chicken lamb combo, something like a falafel. all just for $5. Eating Right in front of the doors of NASDAQ.
Sit down for sometime, taking in the mass of people and tourists from all over the world pass by, and many new york latin americans going about showing off their super shapely bodies and oozing of sexiness. Maybe shallow. but definitely a very good treat for the eyes and adding to the glamor of the location.
3pm debating to go for a show on 42nd street or to the Museum in Central park. Pass by the crowds of 42nd street and then decide to check the movies playing. Nothing seems to appeal. So go the subway again and take the number 1 to 72nd street on the west side. Upper west side is really cleaner and seems to be filled with super rich people. Walk towards (eastwards) to Central park. oh my god. this is like a giant picnic place lots of activity going on.
There seems to be some dance event going on all around the park, just like the jazz fest in Vancouver, but with more people and more events.
Hang in there for sometime, fill up water, get a few free ice tea that was been given out to people. Walk towards the museum. But end up taking the wrong turn in the park and had to walk from the lower end of the park to the middle. something like 10 to 15 blocks. Phew this is getting tiring.
Reach the museum and see there is a lot of international crowd there too. got put off by the $20 entry fee. Maybe good to go there with someone special and who is into the arts, history and culture.
Get out and sit on the steps with 100s of others , beautiful and calming it is.
Around 5pm slowly made my way to the 86th street and lexinton(on 4th Ave I think) and took a subway from there to Grand central Station. Saw lots of security on top with special weapons and dogs there. take a few pics of the grand Architecture and then take the shuttle train (S train) to 42nd street and times square . And from there get back to 34th street by the number 3 train. Get out into the open and slowly walk, its almost 6pm now. See that there is some WWF event happening in Madison square Garden and the crazy fans were there to see their stars getting in.
How different the interests of people in the world are. These guys seem to live to just see the fake fighting and drama on WWF. Its like they are part of the drama.
Guess we all are part of the drama of life and end up getting too deeply in love with something or other. It must be a human necessity. Thats may also be why we are so social creatures, when we don`t have that much attachment to family then we tend to get attached to something else to compensate the non attachment to family. That is something that seems to be there in some of the American Psyche.
Go and check the next NJ transit train is at 7:01 pm, have about 40 mins to spend, get out again from the station and hang around watching the crowd of WWF fans, there are kids as small as 3 and 4 years old with their parents. Wow what an exposure to violence these kids get even at that young age.
America is so truly filled up with all the different types of people. That is what makes America special. Thou it may seem weird that other people have different life style and interests than us, respecting that difference and been understanding to that is what is the core strength of this country. Not always possible but I see that it is practiced and enforced in such a way that people are doing it by their own choice and freedom.
Get into the train around 6:55pm , There is a couple of Chinese students new to US and studying in US sitting besides me. Talk for a few with them. they seem to be having difficulty with English. but seem to be very polite and nice.
So different from the Chinese in Vancouver, who are always aggressive and seem so rude.
8:30 reach back to Hamilton station, the battery on my iPhone is almost dead, need it to get back home with the GPS.
End up paying ab out $7 for the Weekend parking at the station, wow it is really costly to go to New York by train.
Next time I am driving all the way to Jersey city. parking for $8 and then taking the all day metro pass for another $8. instead of this $30+$7+$8 I ended up pay, and not to mention the tolls i had to pay using the highway to Hamilton station about $6. over all $50 .
Get back home around 9:45pm
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
Customs dept
Friday the 18 of Jun 2010
++++++++++++++++++++
Got up early thinking of hitting the 7am train to downtown philly. then realised that it was peak hr commute and would cost more. So attended the 7 to 7:30 meeting with Kolkata India which as usual spilled into 8am.
Saw Eva come online on gtalk. did seem to be replying to my greetings. :(
then took the 8:50am train to Philly, reached there by 10am
Went to the US Customs house which also had the Homeland security and Passport office. Heavy security just like entering the airport and run by 3 idots who seem to be frustrated at their job.
Got thru and went into one of the office which had a big crowd and turns out to be the passport office. Entered the other door opposite , hardly any one around, then a older african american lady comes over and asks me how can i help you. Tell her about my vehicle documents needed by the DMV. So she goes over to a Customs Inspector and tells him about me. That was very touching.
After a few mins he comes over, was very understanding and he asked me where was my car. told him it was at my house. He said that was okay, he filled up the forms i had no clue about and stamped them. The stamp was one thing that was supposed to have happend when the Truck driver got the car in at the border.
Phew ! that was easy. Some people make life so easy with their kindness and understanding. May god bless him and his family.
get out with a huge sense of relief and walk around Penns landing, There was a couple of USS navel ship anchored in the river. what a magnificent sight. :)
Bright blue skies,
current of water flowing down the river,
man made vessels trying to co exist with the natures turbulence,
and make life easy of man and his needs.
Man is all very powerful in his desire to achieve with his persistence to bend across nature and make way for a comfortable life for himself and his family.
11:00 get back to 30th street and at 11:16 get on to the R5 train to penbrook.
12:10 reach penbrook and at home heat up the rice and have it with yogurt (curd).
Once again did not make curry, maybe i will have it with scrambled eggs.
Drop off the customs documents at FIAZO for the DMV , hope to get the Registration done soon.
get to work, do a few more tests to see if the code was fixed , cleaned up the code a bit and moved it into the Dev server.
updated the Quality documents to reflect the changes I made.
Thinking of joining the hiking group going to New York tomorrow morning. Did not know that New york city had something to hike in. Well it should be a good discovery phase for me. keeping options open
Right now having vodka orange juice, bloody mary as its known. And head back to down town for some sexciting salsa.
Feel like letting go of everything I hold as dear and sincere and become a insincere guy just talking things that the girls want to hear. Bloodly hell no one seems to care for the real nice guy in me. They just take me for granted and not even appreciate me for all the goodness I stand for. lets see how I feel when I get there.
:)
++++++++++++++++++++
Got up early thinking of hitting the 7am train to downtown philly. then realised that it was peak hr commute and would cost more. So attended the 7 to 7:30 meeting with Kolkata India which as usual spilled into 8am.
Saw Eva come online on gtalk. did seem to be replying to my greetings. :(
then took the 8:50am train to Philly, reached there by 10am
Went to the US Customs house which also had the Homeland security and Passport office. Heavy security just like entering the airport and run by 3 idots who seem to be frustrated at their job.
Got thru and went into one of the office which had a big crowd and turns out to be the passport office. Entered the other door opposite , hardly any one around, then a older african american lady comes over and asks me how can i help you. Tell her about my vehicle documents needed by the DMV. So she goes over to a Customs Inspector and tells him about me. That was very touching.
After a few mins he comes over, was very understanding and he asked me where was my car. told him it was at my house. He said that was okay, he filled up the forms i had no clue about and stamped them. The stamp was one thing that was supposed to have happend when the Truck driver got the car in at the border.
Phew ! that was easy. Some people make life so easy with their kindness and understanding. May god bless him and his family.
get out with a huge sense of relief and walk around Penns landing, There was a couple of USS navel ship anchored in the river. what a magnificent sight. :)
Bright blue skies,
current of water flowing down the river,
man made vessels trying to co exist with the natures turbulence,
and make life easy of man and his needs.
Man is all very powerful in his desire to achieve with his persistence to bend across nature and make way for a comfortable life for himself and his family.
11:00 get back to 30th street and at 11:16 get on to the R5 train to penbrook.
12:10 reach penbrook and at home heat up the rice and have it with yogurt (curd).
Once again did not make curry, maybe i will have it with scrambled eggs.
Drop off the customs documents at FIAZO for the DMV , hope to get the Registration done soon.
get to work, do a few more tests to see if the code was fixed , cleaned up the code a bit and moved it into the Dev server.
updated the Quality documents to reflect the changes I made.
Thinking of joining the hiking group going to New York tomorrow morning. Did not know that New york city had something to hike in. Well it should be a good discovery phase for me. keeping options open
Right now having vodka orange juice, bloody mary as its known. And head back to down town for some sexciting salsa.
Feel like letting go of everything I hold as dear and sincere and become a insincere guy just talking things that the girls want to hear. Bloodly hell no one seems to care for the real nice guy in me. They just take me for granted and not even appreciate me for all the goodness I stand for. lets see how I feel when I get there.
:)
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Beautiful day
Thursday Jun, 17 2010
*********************
Got up early after going to sleep early and mentally tired.
Then got to see sweet mail from Eva. Made my day also the Snow ball effect of our thoughts and the need to control them.
Replied back to her mail about my thoughts about the US and Indian way of thinking and life.
Cheers heading to shower now.
Get to work by 6:50am. cheers almost empty parking lot.
7:00am log on to the call and kriss gets in still sleepy at 7:05am. Indian group seemed to be on time today.
7:41 meeting ends with lots of discussion on code changes.
Beautiful day, was smiling and getting smiles back even from drivers who were driving by me. And its bright and sunny outside, not hot, not cold.
Just pleasent.
Chatted with Eva for some time. Wish she would open up more. Because like before., it always seems that she is just listening and I am having a monlouge . Not really sure if its just her personality to listen or if what I am trying to communicate is way above her ability to understand. Or if she is just taking in the information and not able to process it or she is just too taken in by all the new things I keep thinking and rolling off to her.
But she has this way of making me think about things no other women made me think. Only wish that we had met under better circumstances.
But now when the circumstances have improved and was good for us to try living as a couple and trying to see how we can work out our life and synchronize.
She is just not willing to. And seems to have a huge wall up. Well I tried all possible.
11:am got chating with Li about the Moc pop, she is in New Jersey and needed info about the Siebel works with Avaya
Series of emails back and forth between people. And I got chatting with Li on the internal company chat app
12:30 head home have the rest of the frozen pizza and a glass of milk.
Get back to work. still trying to figure out the solution for the issue with the program code. Trying asking Kriss for help he seemed to be busy. Think I will make one last attempt. almost frustrating to the point of giving up
Suddenly have another brain strom. And apply that . Wooo hooo it worked like magic after compiling.
Ahhh what a sense of achievement. It should not have taken more than half a day and I took like 5 days. All because I was looking at it in a very different way. Just had to pull back and look at it differently and the solution appears. I was defining the poblem wrong. I was looking at some symptom and trying to fix that, when in fact the symptom was the result of issues else where.
Just like life, have to just pull back and look where the real issue is.
Feel really charged up after having fixed this bug. Sometimes solutions are right in front of us, but we are not able to see it. So much for my own ego getting kicked in the butt. I am more humbled now. Thats another good learning lesson.
4:30 get to the training again and out by 5:30
Ajit wanted to know the Moc Pop was a desktop app or a Internet browser based. After the training go to the Call center and ask them , also get to see that its a IE based app, not a desktop app.
Feeling really charged. Called up the Dept of labour to complain about the company not having paid me the wages for two weeks of work done in New York. But kept getting the wrong sub -department. might try tomorrow.
Narayan called me again. Trying to get me to commit to meeting the malu lady friend of his.
I kept telling him no, I am not ready to do anything like that. He was trying to have her fly over to Philly and then have me pick her up at the airport. I told him I don't have a car that is registered and I cannot take the risk of driving like that.
Hope I don't get weak and fall for the pressure tactics he is using.
Also have to go out for my customs documentation tomorrow as I am driving a car with out any registration.
Lets see it almost 7pm if I can cook any curry up.
*********************
Got up early after going to sleep early and mentally tired.
Then got to see sweet mail from Eva. Made my day also the Snow ball effect of our thoughts and the need to control them.
Replied back to her mail about my thoughts about the US and Indian way of thinking and life.
Cheers heading to shower now.
Get to work by 6:50am. cheers almost empty parking lot.
7:00am log on to the call and kriss gets in still sleepy at 7:05am. Indian group seemed to be on time today.
7:41 meeting ends with lots of discussion on code changes.
Beautiful day, was smiling and getting smiles back even from drivers who were driving by me. And its bright and sunny outside, not hot, not cold.
Just pleasent.
Chatted with Eva for some time. Wish she would open up more. Because like before., it always seems that she is just listening and I am having a monlouge . Not really sure if its just her personality to listen or if what I am trying to communicate is way above her ability to understand. Or if she is just taking in the information and not able to process it or she is just too taken in by all the new things I keep thinking and rolling off to her.
But she has this way of making me think about things no other women made me think. Only wish that we had met under better circumstances.
But now when the circumstances have improved and was good for us to try living as a couple and trying to see how we can work out our life and synchronize.
She is just not willing to. And seems to have a huge wall up. Well I tried all possible.
11:am got chating with Li about the Moc pop, she is in New Jersey and needed info about the Siebel works with Avaya
Series of emails back and forth between people. And I got chatting with Li on the internal company chat app
12:30 head home have the rest of the frozen pizza and a glass of milk.
Get back to work. still trying to figure out the solution for the issue with the program code. Trying asking Kriss for help he seemed to be busy. Think I will make one last attempt. almost frustrating to the point of giving up
Suddenly have another brain strom. And apply that . Wooo hooo it worked like magic after compiling.
Ahhh what a sense of achievement. It should not have taken more than half a day and I took like 5 days. All because I was looking at it in a very different way. Just had to pull back and look at it differently and the solution appears. I was defining the poblem wrong. I was looking at some symptom and trying to fix that, when in fact the symptom was the result of issues else where.
Just like life, have to just pull back and look where the real issue is.
Feel really charged up after having fixed this bug. Sometimes solutions are right in front of us, but we are not able to see it. So much for my own ego getting kicked in the butt. I am more humbled now. Thats another good learning lesson.
4:30 get to the training again and out by 5:30
Ajit wanted to know the Moc Pop was a desktop app or a Internet browser based. After the training go to the Call center and ask them , also get to see that its a IE based app, not a desktop app.
Feeling really charged. Called up the Dept of labour to complain about the company not having paid me the wages for two weeks of work done in New York. But kept getting the wrong sub -department. might try tomorrow.
Narayan called me again. Trying to get me to commit to meeting the malu lady friend of his.
I kept telling him no, I am not ready to do anything like that. He was trying to have her fly over to Philly and then have me pick her up at the airport. I told him I don't have a car that is registered and I cannot take the risk of driving like that.
Hope I don't get weak and fall for the pressure tactics he is using.
Also have to go out for my customs documentation tomorrow as I am driving a car with out any registration.
Lets see it almost 7pm if I can cook any curry up.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Day, how will it be?
Wednesday Jun-16-2010
===================
Woke up 5am and was up and about. Had a troubled sleep. Because of work, issue of fixing bug, hope that gets resolved soon.
Thinking about aunt and wish there was something I could do.
And over all an uneasy feeling.
Just made it to work around 7:10am joined in the daily conf call.
and found that the meeting of 8:am for CTI in india needed to be moved to 9:30am to 10:30am, which must 7pm to 8pm IST.
Saw a horoscope forecast
Your energy is largely focused on -- if not devoted to -- the concept of love right now. Love really is all you need, especially when it arrives in such an amazing package. Someone has recently entered (or is just about to enter) your life, and you feel like they may actually be too good to be true. Stop pinching yourself and just open your eyes -- this really is happening to you, and you don't want to miss it.
Is this possible, or is this something good to motivate myself into thinking that something positive is going to happen to me soon. Well either way it feels nice to read something flattering and something good to look forward to.
Its in a way like the words or philosophy and positive reaffarmation :)
Lets see how the day moves ahead. almost 7:50 am now
Get chatting with Eva on the iGoogle. saw her blog liked the part
Ideal action = generate energy + avoid dissipation of energy
What generates the dissipation of energy:
- regrets over dead past
- anxieties of unknown future
- excitement over living present (indispensability syndrome)
But i think that is part of living and learning.
It was nice chatting with eva on philosophy, wish she was more verbal and able to articualte her views when we talk. That way we could easily help each other think more and understand the wonderful world of Pshycology , Philosophy, Religion, Behavior, Nature, Dancing, Hiking.
Well what ever happens she is a different girl. Not every one is like her, wish we had better circumstance to have met. All seemed so hurry hurry and not enough time to really get to know each other on a spiritual and emotional level.
And realising that I wanted to get back together and made all possible effort. But she seems to have a very high wall up against me and not even wanting to consider.
Unfortunately relationships need the willingness of two people at the same time in life. :)
Just because one person is willing does not mean there is a possibility of anything happening. Sad reality. I hope she really finds what she is really looking for. And not get confused with what she sees there in India and fall for smooth talking people.
I can only wish the best for her and hope that she stays sincere and not loose the sense of truthfullness and honesty.
Hope that she not be that naieve and foolish to fall into the trap of some smooth talking people. Who will just lead her and use her for what ever self serving reasons.
9:30 meeting with Indian team and the possible future person who will be helping me / assisting me with my work from Bangalore.
10:30 status meeting for r19
12:noon start of with a question to Murali about the feasibility of using EAI for a screen pop. And one by one all the guys chip in and everyone seems to be having a brilliant idea better than the other.
In the end Eaklavs Idea seems to be making much more sense. Go up to the call center and check out with Anish and see that in the past 2 months they had a change in the way of operating. They used to use 2 computer, now they are using only one. So this goes easily with the model suggested by Eaklav.
1pm head off with Raj D to his house and then took him to the post office so that he could post some important doc for his wifes job in India.
1:50 pm reach home have lunch, Curd rice for the 2nd day. no meat, no veggie, no curry. just plain rice and yogurt.
Not able to connect to work again. Reboot system and the try to establish connection with wireless. took some time. Then around 4:15pm head back to work so that I can get to the training at 4:30. Around 6:30 pm get back home.
Sit out and start thinking about the path taken by my life.
Don't feel like going out for a run either, the sky looks like vancouver the whole day. Then saw a pizza delivery guy delivering to the neighboring building. Go over to the fridge and take out the Mediterranean Frozen Pizza I had, put it in the oven and have half. After that do not feel like eating.
Turn on the radio and listen to Rock music. :)
was browsing the greeting site and came across a very wonderful card with touching words. Just could not resist the temptation of sending it to Eva. Not asking her to do anything, just sending her something sweet and wonderful from the heart.
Such was my day.
===================
Woke up 5am and was up and about. Had a troubled sleep. Because of work, issue of fixing bug, hope that gets resolved soon.
Thinking about aunt and wish there was something I could do.
And over all an uneasy feeling.
Just made it to work around 7:10am joined in the daily conf call.
and found that the meeting of 8:am for CTI in india needed to be moved to 9:30am to 10:30am, which must 7pm to 8pm IST.
Saw a horoscope forecast
Your energy is largely focused on -- if not devoted to -- the concept of love right now. Love really is all you need, especially when it arrives in such an amazing package. Someone has recently entered (or is just about to enter) your life, and you feel like they may actually be too good to be true. Stop pinching yourself and just open your eyes -- this really is happening to you, and you don't want to miss it.
Is this possible, or is this something good to motivate myself into thinking that something positive is going to happen to me soon. Well either way it feels nice to read something flattering and something good to look forward to.
Its in a way like the words or philosophy and positive reaffarmation :)
Lets see how the day moves ahead. almost 7:50 am now
Get chatting with Eva on the iGoogle. saw her blog liked the part
Ideal action = generate energy + avoid dissipation of energy
What generates the dissipation of energy:
- regrets over dead past
- anxieties of unknown future
- excitement over living present (indispensability syndrome)
But i think that is part of living and learning.
It was nice chatting with eva on philosophy, wish she was more verbal and able to articualte her views when we talk. That way we could easily help each other think more and understand the wonderful world of Pshycology , Philosophy, Religion, Behavior, Nature, Dancing, Hiking.
Well what ever happens she is a different girl. Not every one is like her, wish we had better circumstance to have met. All seemed so hurry hurry and not enough time to really get to know each other on a spiritual and emotional level.
And realising that I wanted to get back together and made all possible effort. But she seems to have a very high wall up against me and not even wanting to consider.
Unfortunately relationships need the willingness of two people at the same time in life. :)
Just because one person is willing does not mean there is a possibility of anything happening. Sad reality. I hope she really finds what she is really looking for. And not get confused with what she sees there in India and fall for smooth talking people.
I can only wish the best for her and hope that she stays sincere and not loose the sense of truthfullness and honesty.
Hope that she not be that naieve and foolish to fall into the trap of some smooth talking people. Who will just lead her and use her for what ever self serving reasons.
9:30 meeting with Indian team and the possible future person who will be helping me / assisting me with my work from Bangalore.
10:30 status meeting for r19
12:noon start of with a question to Murali about the feasibility of using EAI for a screen pop. And one by one all the guys chip in and everyone seems to be having a brilliant idea better than the other.
In the end Eaklavs Idea seems to be making much more sense. Go up to the call center and check out with Anish and see that in the past 2 months they had a change in the way of operating. They used to use 2 computer, now they are using only one. So this goes easily with the model suggested by Eaklav.
1pm head off with Raj D to his house and then took him to the post office so that he could post some important doc for his wifes job in India.
1:50 pm reach home have lunch, Curd rice for the 2nd day. no meat, no veggie, no curry. just plain rice and yogurt.
Not able to connect to work again. Reboot system and the try to establish connection with wireless. took some time. Then around 4:15pm head back to work so that I can get to the training at 4:30. Around 6:30 pm get back home.
Sit out and start thinking about the path taken by my life.
Don't feel like going out for a run either, the sky looks like vancouver the whole day. Then saw a pizza delivery guy delivering to the neighboring building. Go over to the fridge and take out the Mediterranean Frozen Pizza I had, put it in the oven and have half. After that do not feel like eating.
Turn on the radio and listen to Rock music. :)
was browsing the greeting site and came across a very wonderful card with touching words. Just could not resist the temptation of sending it to Eva. Not asking her to do anything, just sending her something sweet and wonderful from the heart.
Such was my day.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Stressful day
Tuesday Jun-15-2010
********************
Woke up early as usual around 5:am out of bed by 5:20 . Got ready to go about my stuff. Have to complete and fix the bug in my code.
was about to step out when I just got to see the blog by Eva. Was reading it and experiencing her experience when the last part caught my attention.
Some guy was cocky enough to stop her and ask her for sex. India especially seems to be filled up with people like that who think that white women are just there for the fun of having sex and enjoying life. Guess its all the western movies showing the women in every movie as easily meeting and desperately making love. And the Indian movies are all about romancing and maybe one movie showing a lip to lip kiss.
Soon the men tend to think that the white women are just easily available for sex. And Indian women in general are very prude and not that adventures. Unless they are very westernized and behave like sex crazy bitches.
Also the fact that to get a Indian women to have an affair is much more work, compared to a western women.
But that does not mean that someone can just go upto a girl and ask her for sex like she is some kind of person who is a professional sex worker.
Wish that she would be careful. if a desparate person can come and ask her on a busy street, one can imagine what that guy would do if she was hiking or walking alone in a deserted place.
And india is not a place where you can just dial 911 and have the cops come over in a few mins. They don't even bother to come.
Get delayed reading the blog and reach work around 7:05am. get on to the conf bridge and the conf gets over pretty soon.
Latter on when I logged on to iGoogle, saw Eva online. chatted with a few lines. And then she took off.
Was too lost in trying to solve the issue the past few days. Stressed out for lack of any progress. Ask Kriss for help and he has an entirely different approach. Seemed to get angry to even go thru my approach.
So I tell him, okay lets try your approach. And after a few modifications his approach works.
Feel as thou my Ego took a huge beating. But have to accept it.
Ajit comes by and asks me to set up a meeting with the Bangalore office regarding the Siebel CTI work. Gives me a 1800 number to use. So send out a meeting msg to Venu in bangalore and Ajit. for tomrrow wednesday 8am EST.
Around 1:50 pm get out to head home and work from there. But after reaching home I am not able to connect to the Work system.
Try for sometime. then cook some rice and have it with yogurt. 3:30pm back to work After having my breakfast and lunch.
Ajit calls me and suggests to come over to his office in bldg 37. Go over and he seems to have some other idea of handling Moc POP. totally bypassing the Avaya.
Not really sure how that is going to work, seems totally out of my scope of work. But maybe I can get to it. Need to read up on EAI and discuss with other guys who are EAI experts.
Get home around 7pm another 12hrs shift. Really don't feel motivated to do anything even to cook. Coming back to a house of comfort and previlage. Sadly I am missing something that would make my bad feeling day better. Someone who could just hug me and make me feel loved. All the guys have wifes to go back too.
The old lady who came to borrow ice and lives 2 doors away came to return the ice tray. And told me that the two young people who she is living with just married last week.
Wow how different marriages are here. Even the neighbors never get to know. And in India all the neighbors get to know.
Well let me go for a walk and see if it will up lift my mood. Don't feel like going out running or biking.
Get call from Narayan when walking out. Tell him about my feeling frustration and missing having someone special in my life and he said that he called me to introduce me to a Malu girl who is a good friend of his. She is Going to visit him soon and he wants me to take her around New York. I keep trying to find excuses to avoid and he is trying to tell me how good she is and what not.
I am not sure I want to get into a relationship anymore with anyone. Opened up my heart with Eva after a very long time, only to find her drift away. He keeps trying to convince me to meet her and see how it will go. Atleast i get to meet another Malu girl here in US. I told him, now you are sounding like my uncles and parents. hehehe.
Then latter talk with Venkat in California. Again we talk about how my English is becoming more like Indian English and that I am not able to speak that fluently as I used to before. My English language skills are getting affected by been with Indians 12hrs a day.
Still thinking about what Aunt Shaila is going thru. How suddenly it affected her lif e. One day she is so nicely going about living her life taking care of others and suddenly someone has to take care of her.
What is the purpose of my life. So far I have just been going about living and struggling to live on my own. All my friends are married and busy with their own little families and they have something to get back home to. The love of their family to help them forget the stress of their long day at work.
Even this work does not feel satisfying. I rather be out doing the stock market. Atleast I don't have to report to anyone. Just have to be answerable to my own self for the decisions I make , sometimes profitable, most times this year has been good. But the thought of the past few years is very scary. Loosing hunderds of thousands of dollars.
So what is life and its meaning. Money disappears, love betrays. What is it all leading to. Yea yea yea, lots of philosophical words to make you feel better for a few moments,,, meditation, praying, working out,,,,,,,,
and then its back to facing reality of the world and facing the issues and emotions and desires and hopes and wishes and and and and....
Where exactly is it all taking me to.
Hopes of marrying and living with the one I love seems to be lost.
What is the purpose of this life. yea yea eya.. to do good to others and reap the benefits of karma in my next life.... :(
That does not seem to be so good a motivator.
********************
Woke up early as usual around 5:am out of bed by 5:20 . Got ready to go about my stuff. Have to complete and fix the bug in my code.
was about to step out when I just got to see the blog by Eva. Was reading it and experiencing her experience when the last part caught my attention.
Some guy was cocky enough to stop her and ask her for sex. India especially seems to be filled up with people like that who think that white women are just there for the fun of having sex and enjoying life. Guess its all the western movies showing the women in every movie as easily meeting and desperately making love. And the Indian movies are all about romancing and maybe one movie showing a lip to lip kiss.
Soon the men tend to think that the white women are just easily available for sex. And Indian women in general are very prude and not that adventures. Unless they are very westernized and behave like sex crazy bitches.
Also the fact that to get a Indian women to have an affair is much more work, compared to a western women.
But that does not mean that someone can just go upto a girl and ask her for sex like she is some kind of person who is a professional sex worker.
Wish that she would be careful. if a desparate person can come and ask her on a busy street, one can imagine what that guy would do if she was hiking or walking alone in a deserted place.
And india is not a place where you can just dial 911 and have the cops come over in a few mins. They don't even bother to come.
Get delayed reading the blog and reach work around 7:05am. get on to the conf bridge and the conf gets over pretty soon.
Latter on when I logged on to iGoogle, saw Eva online. chatted with a few lines. And then she took off.
Was too lost in trying to solve the issue the past few days. Stressed out for lack of any progress. Ask Kriss for help and he has an entirely different approach. Seemed to get angry to even go thru my approach.
So I tell him, okay lets try your approach. And after a few modifications his approach works.
Feel as thou my Ego took a huge beating. But have to accept it.
Ajit comes by and asks me to set up a meeting with the Bangalore office regarding the Siebel CTI work. Gives me a 1800 number to use. So send out a meeting msg to Venu in bangalore and Ajit. for tomrrow wednesday 8am EST.
Around 1:50 pm get out to head home and work from there. But after reaching home I am not able to connect to the Work system.
Try for sometime. then cook some rice and have it with yogurt. 3:30pm back to work After having my breakfast and lunch.
Ajit calls me and suggests to come over to his office in bldg 37. Go over and he seems to have some other idea of handling Moc POP. totally bypassing the Avaya.
Not really sure how that is going to work, seems totally out of my scope of work. But maybe I can get to it. Need to read up on EAI and discuss with other guys who are EAI experts.
Get home around 7pm another 12hrs shift. Really don't feel motivated to do anything even to cook. Coming back to a house of comfort and previlage. Sadly I am missing something that would make my bad feeling day better. Someone who could just hug me and make me feel loved. All the guys have wifes to go back too.
The old lady who came to borrow ice and lives 2 doors away came to return the ice tray. And told me that the two young people who she is living with just married last week.
Wow how different marriages are here. Even the neighbors never get to know. And in India all the neighbors get to know.
Well let me go for a walk and see if it will up lift my mood. Don't feel like going out running or biking.
Get call from Narayan when walking out. Tell him about my feeling frustration and missing having someone special in my life and he said that he called me to introduce me to a Malu girl who is a good friend of his. She is Going to visit him soon and he wants me to take her around New York. I keep trying to find excuses to avoid and he is trying to tell me how good she is and what not.
I am not sure I want to get into a relationship anymore with anyone. Opened up my heart with Eva after a very long time, only to find her drift away. He keeps trying to convince me to meet her and see how it will go. Atleast i get to meet another Malu girl here in US. I told him, now you are sounding like my uncles and parents. hehehe.
Then latter talk with Venkat in California. Again we talk about how my English is becoming more like Indian English and that I am not able to speak that fluently as I used to before. My English language skills are getting affected by been with Indians 12hrs a day.
Still thinking about what Aunt Shaila is going thru. How suddenly it affected her lif e. One day she is so nicely going about living her life taking care of others and suddenly someone has to take care of her.
What is the purpose of my life. So far I have just been going about living and struggling to live on my own. All my friends are married and busy with their own little families and they have something to get back home to. The love of their family to help them forget the stress of their long day at work.
Even this work does not feel satisfying. I rather be out doing the stock market. Atleast I don't have to report to anyone. Just have to be answerable to my own self for the decisions I make , sometimes profitable, most times this year has been good. But the thought of the past few years is very scary. Loosing hunderds of thousands of dollars.
So what is life and its meaning. Money disappears, love betrays. What is it all leading to. Yea yea yea, lots of philosophical words to make you feel better for a few moments,,, meditation, praying, working out,,,,,,,,
and then its back to facing reality of the world and facing the issues and emotions and desires and hopes and wishes and and and and....
Where exactly is it all taking me to.
Hopes of marrying and living with the one I love seems to be lost.
What is the purpose of this life. yea yea eya.. to do good to others and reap the benefits of karma in my next life.... :(
That does not seem to be so good a motivator.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Start of new week.
Monday, Jun 14 2010
---------------++-----
6:68am made it to work desk. Woke up with some kind of bad dream and was not able to sleep after that. Just remember the feeling of something not right, not able to recollect anything. Maybe its a good thing. Just need to focus on the postive and stay positive.
Just remember that I did not have dinner yesterday night either.
7:08am Kriss comes in late, the rest of the people seem to have been waiting. I need to fix this escript thing , was playing around with the code to understand. need to do research on a similar code.
Put in the memory stick to get to the old code and suddenly a exotic gypsy song starts playing,. Trace it back to the music Eva copied it for me when she was in Vancovuer. Wow about a year latter.
This is the music she uses for belly dancing.
She keeps coming back to me in some way or the other. Hopefully she is doing well and this is not again something thats telling me that she must be in some kind of trouble. (bad dream + music from her) And the music seems to be haunting and of someone in pain. Oh please god. protect that sweet brain and please guide her into a path of Virtue.
Need to keep track of the market today to see how high it will go and be on the path of recovering all my lost material fortune. Hopefully I can atleast get back more than 50 percent this year. Or who know I may get by everything that I lost in the stock market
7:36am and the meeting comes to an end. Issues with not been able to log on to the Server data base. so no work was been done in India today. Paid holiday due to server problem in US. :)
Suddenly saw a mail from CZ something to do with Czech on my iPhone. Not able to access personal mails from work. Forwared the msg to Eva hoping for some translation.
Should I believe in life showing all kinds of hidden and visible message and hints and take actions or just let life take me where ever I am going with out any sense of purpose and direction.
Eka-lavayaa was saying that he was able to get into google chat with iGoogle. let me try that.
Kool it works. Should I use it. Just see Eva and Prameela online. Tempted to chat with Eva and ask about her well being and maybe send her some positivitity. What if she is not interested in chatting with me and is busy with some other. awww, don't want to screw her mood. Don't really know how and what she is thinking.
Start chatting with Prameela. funny how we met thru a kerala marriage web portal, became friends after our horoscope did not match and our castes were different.
she basically grew up in bangalore. Latter got married to a software guy Malu from singapore and is now settled in Chennai. She just said that she got promoted as branch Head of the Chennai branch last month. kool, way to go girl. :)
She was really dissappointed when my parents raised the issuse of caste incompatibility. And now they were even open to me marrying a non- indian. But ,,,
hehehe, she is asking me about marriage and is feeling so bad for me. well what can we do, we can just try. she is trying to motivate me..
Saw translation from Eva about the cz mail. so sent her a msg via google chat.
Pramee is saying that she is feeling sad for me and saying that i have to forget horoscope and just marry. heheehe
she is telling me her husband is now in singapore and her inlaws are helping her with the baby, taking care of the kid when she is out working.
she had something interesting to say:
Prameela: actualy i wasnt interested in marriage at all....but some how whne this proposal came my mind acepted..i felt this is Gud...
may be its the feeling in u rself plays an important role
me: thats how its supposed to happen, when you get the right one you feel that its the right one.
Prameela : ur right the bel wil ring...
Well i felt like that with E, she said she felt it too. But looks like things are happening in a very different way.
Prameela : i m seriously going to find a nice girl fo u
wow.. another person going to look for a girl for me :) hehehe
Eva goes offline. was pleasent chatting with her. Hope we can get back to been nice with each other and be good soul buddies.
Then get lost in the maze of Bug fixing. been working on it for two days now. Its been a long time since I did any e-scripting.
After 12:30 head off home and start working from there. Have my breakfast and yesterday nights dinner all in one.
Around 3pm get call from the Car registration agency that the DMV at harrisburg rejected my documents saying they needed more.
Now I have to go around again to customs offices to figure out what needs to be done.
Go to the agency office and get my documents.
Then go back to office. 4:30 training. then @ 5:30 get back to desk again working on the problem. Get out of work exhausted and drained @7:30pm. been working for 12.5 hrs now. ahhh need a break.
Almost 8pm now and no motivation to cook anything. :(
Better to go out for some Free Monday night salsa. Atleast there will be some girls there who will be all happy and appreciative and complimenting me.
The question is, do I look externally for others appreciation and compliments to make me feel better about myself or do I try the long way of doing good and positive things and feel better about myself. :)
---------------++-----
6:68am made it to work desk. Woke up with some kind of bad dream and was not able to sleep after that. Just remember the feeling of something not right, not able to recollect anything. Maybe its a good thing. Just need to focus on the postive and stay positive.
Just remember that I did not have dinner yesterday night either.
7:08am Kriss comes in late, the rest of the people seem to have been waiting. I need to fix this escript thing , was playing around with the code to understand. need to do research on a similar code.
Put in the memory stick to get to the old code and suddenly a exotic gypsy song starts playing,. Trace it back to the music Eva copied it for me when she was in Vancovuer. Wow about a year latter.
This is the music she uses for belly dancing.
She keeps coming back to me in some way or the other. Hopefully she is doing well and this is not again something thats telling me that she must be in some kind of trouble. (bad dream + music from her) And the music seems to be haunting and of someone in pain. Oh please god. protect that sweet brain and please guide her into a path of Virtue.
Need to keep track of the market today to see how high it will go and be on the path of recovering all my lost material fortune. Hopefully I can atleast get back more than 50 percent this year. Or who know I may get by everything that I lost in the stock market
7:36am and the meeting comes to an end. Issues with not been able to log on to the Server data base. so no work was been done in India today. Paid holiday due to server problem in US. :)
Suddenly saw a mail from CZ something to do with Czech on my iPhone. Not able to access personal mails from work. Forwared the msg to Eva hoping for some translation.
Should I believe in life showing all kinds of hidden and visible message and hints and take actions or just let life take me where ever I am going with out any sense of purpose and direction.
Eka-lavayaa was saying that he was able to get into google chat with iGoogle. let me try that.
Kool it works. Should I use it. Just see Eva and Prameela online. Tempted to chat with Eva and ask about her well being and maybe send her some positivitity. What if she is not interested in chatting with me and is busy with some other. awww, don't want to screw her mood. Don't really know how and what she is thinking.
Start chatting with Prameela. funny how we met thru a kerala marriage web portal, became friends after our horoscope did not match and our castes were different.
she basically grew up in bangalore. Latter got married to a software guy Malu from singapore and is now settled in Chennai. She just said that she got promoted as branch Head of the Chennai branch last month. kool, way to go girl. :)
She was really dissappointed when my parents raised the issuse of caste incompatibility. And now they were even open to me marrying a non- indian. But ,,,
hehehe, she is asking me about marriage and is feeling so bad for me. well what can we do, we can just try. she is trying to motivate me..
Saw translation from Eva about the cz mail. so sent her a msg via google chat.
Pramee is saying that she is feeling sad for me and saying that i have to forget horoscope and just marry. heheehe
she is telling me her husband is now in singapore and her inlaws are helping her with the baby, taking care of the kid when she is out working.
she had something interesting to say:
Prameela: actualy i wasnt interested in marriage at all....but some how whne this proposal came my mind acepted..i felt this is Gud...
may be its the feeling in u rself plays an important role
me: thats how its supposed to happen, when you get the right one you feel that its the right one.
Prameela : ur right the bel wil ring...
Well i felt like that with E, she said she felt it too. But looks like things are happening in a very different way.
Prameela : i m seriously going to find a nice girl fo u
wow.. another person going to look for a girl for me :) hehehe
Eva goes offline. was pleasent chatting with her. Hope we can get back to been nice with each other and be good soul buddies.
Then get lost in the maze of Bug fixing. been working on it for two days now. Its been a long time since I did any e-scripting.
After 12:30 head off home and start working from there. Have my breakfast and yesterday nights dinner all in one.
Around 3pm get call from the Car registration agency that the DMV at harrisburg rejected my documents saying they needed more.
Now I have to go around again to customs offices to figure out what needs to be done.
Go to the agency office and get my documents.
Then go back to office. 4:30 training. then @ 5:30 get back to desk again working on the problem. Get out of work exhausted and drained @7:30pm. been working for 12.5 hrs now. ahhh need a break.
Almost 8pm now and no motivation to cook anything. :(
Better to go out for some Free Monday night salsa. Atleast there will be some girls there who will be all happy and appreciative and complimenting me.
The question is, do I look externally for others appreciation and compliments to make me feel better about myself or do I try the long way of doing good and positive things and feel better about myself. :)
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Great looking morning
Sunday, Jun-13-2010
----------------------------
Wake up late around 9am and check mails and blog.
Clean up house a bit and need to do come shopping.
Machine the hair of my head and now look like a monk again. Great for summer time.
shower and mediate after for a bit. Mind seems to be running about wildly. Need to control the temptations and impulses.
Thinking of aunt and hoping that things will get better for her soon.
Went shopping at Costco. had lobster for the first time. melts in the mouth.
Got Icecream cones for the first time. reading a lot of Icecream , now its my turn to have icecream in summer. :) Also got one item free, chicken popcorns. :) about time.
Was driving towards the Patel grocery when it suddnely started raining like crazy, zero visibility , with lightening and thunder. Pulled over into one of the parking lots, many people followed me in and just sat there in the parking lot waiting for the sudden rains to stop. It was scary for a moment rather for about 30 mins. looked like it would flood soon.
But the rain slowed down after 30mins and felt relieved. It was like suddenly the dam walls of heavens flood gates just opened up and just let all the water from the skies drop down.
Got some frozen masala dosa (udipi style), some medhu vada and just vada. should be great food for emergency and delicious. Enjoying the different regional foods of India away from India. :) what more can I ask for.
Life is kind to me, thank you very much for all the kindness and all the great stuff I have in my life. Thank you for my fortunate and wonderful life. Please also be kind to my aunt in her time of dire need. She is one of the most wonderful persons in the world. She should be a saint. Also please help guide E in her time of confusion and protect her from creeps and sleezy characters who just will take advantage of her foolish innocent novice thinking.
3:30 get back home and watch FIFA football on laptop, thru streaming internet.
heat up 2 of the masalsa dosas and found it to be really good treat. :)
Still bothered by aunt shailaja's cancer and the way it spread. Life is so filled with uncertainties.
So many things could happen and change ones life.
One small mistake,
one small uncontrolled event,
one illness.
Just one something and a whole new twist to life.
Sometimes affecting the lifes of all those close to us.
Sometimes affecting the rest of our life.
Maybe Physically,
Maybe Emotionally,
Like a scar, caused by fire.
We could have listened to others experience,
Or we could put our hand in the fire and burn our hand,
Great first hand experience,
Then we would be scared for life.
The choice there is something we make.
We can try and should try to prevent the preventable
And then we would not latter regret, that we did not try
Sometimes things happen beyond our control.
That we cannot see and cannot control.
Let that be like a passing storm.
It will pass and we will emerge strong.
Talked with Sara for a long time. She just finished her running.
Told me about her life story and relationship, struggles with trying to work and study at the same time and keeping up with her hobby of running.
Feel so sad for her and people like her, they have to struggle so much just to make it thru college. No help from parents or anyone to pay off the college fees. And she had to go thru so much just the past 7 months. But now she seems to be reaching some stability in life.
Maybe one of these days she will be able to make it to Philly and we can go out hiking and salsa dancing. Right now she has her sisters wedding to make arrangements for and is finding it tough to manage the finances. poor gal.
So flattering and heart warming that she thinks I am the best salsa dance partner she ever had. :) Atleast she thinks I am worthy of something. Thank you so much.
----------------------------
Wake up late around 9am and check mails and blog.
Clean up house a bit and need to do come shopping.
Machine the hair of my head and now look like a monk again. Great for summer time.
shower and mediate after for a bit. Mind seems to be running about wildly. Need to control the temptations and impulses.
Thinking of aunt and hoping that things will get better for her soon.
Went shopping at Costco. had lobster for the first time. melts in the mouth.
Got Icecream cones for the first time. reading a lot of Icecream , now its my turn to have icecream in summer. :) Also got one item free, chicken popcorns. :) about time.
Was driving towards the Patel grocery when it suddnely started raining like crazy, zero visibility , with lightening and thunder. Pulled over into one of the parking lots, many people followed me in and just sat there in the parking lot waiting for the sudden rains to stop. It was scary for a moment rather for about 30 mins. looked like it would flood soon.
But the rain slowed down after 30mins and felt relieved. It was like suddenly the dam walls of heavens flood gates just opened up and just let all the water from the skies drop down.
Got some frozen masala dosa (udipi style), some medhu vada and just vada. should be great food for emergency and delicious. Enjoying the different regional foods of India away from India. :) what more can I ask for.
Life is kind to me, thank you very much for all the kindness and all the great stuff I have in my life. Thank you for my fortunate and wonderful life. Please also be kind to my aunt in her time of dire need. She is one of the most wonderful persons in the world. She should be a saint. Also please help guide E in her time of confusion and protect her from creeps and sleezy characters who just will take advantage of her foolish innocent novice thinking.
3:30 get back home and watch FIFA football on laptop, thru streaming internet.
heat up 2 of the masalsa dosas and found it to be really good treat. :)
Still bothered by aunt shailaja's cancer and the way it spread. Life is so filled with uncertainties.
So many things could happen and change ones life.
One small mistake,
one small uncontrolled event,
one illness.
Just one something and a whole new twist to life.
Sometimes affecting the lifes of all those close to us.
Sometimes affecting the rest of our life.
Maybe Physically,
Maybe Emotionally,
Like a scar, caused by fire.
We could have listened to others experience,
Or we could put our hand in the fire and burn our hand,
Great first hand experience,
Then we would be scared for life.
The choice there is something we make.
We can try and should try to prevent the preventable
And then we would not latter regret, that we did not try
Sometimes things happen beyond our control.
That we cannot see and cannot control.
Let that be like a passing storm.
It will pass and we will emerge strong.
Talked with Sara for a long time. She just finished her running.
Told me about her life story and relationship, struggles with trying to work and study at the same time and keeping up with her hobby of running.
Feel so sad for her and people like her, they have to struggle so much just to make it thru college. No help from parents or anyone to pay off the college fees. And she had to go thru so much just the past 7 months. But now she seems to be reaching some stability in life.
Maybe one of these days she will be able to make it to Philly and we can go out hiking and salsa dancing. Right now she has her sisters wedding to make arrangements for and is finding it tough to manage the finances. poor gal.
So flattering and heart warming that she thinks I am the best salsa dance partner she ever had. :) Atleast she thinks I am worthy of something. Thank you so much.
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