Thursday Jun, 17 2010
*********************
Got up early after going to sleep early and mentally tired.
Then got to see sweet mail from Eva. Made my day also the Snow ball effect of our thoughts and the need to control them.
Replied back to her mail about my thoughts about the US and Indian way of thinking and life.
Cheers heading to shower now.
Get to work by 6:50am. cheers almost empty parking lot.
7:00am log on to the call and kriss gets in still sleepy at 7:05am. Indian group seemed to be on time today.
7:41 meeting ends with lots of discussion on code changes.
Beautiful day, was smiling and getting smiles back even from drivers who were driving by me. And its bright and sunny outside, not hot, not cold.
Just pleasent.
Chatted with Eva for some time. Wish she would open up more. Because like before., it always seems that she is just listening and I am having a monlouge . Not really sure if its just her personality to listen or if what I am trying to communicate is way above her ability to understand. Or if she is just taking in the information and not able to process it or she is just too taken in by all the new things I keep thinking and rolling off to her.
But she has this way of making me think about things no other women made me think. Only wish that we had met under better circumstances.
But now when the circumstances have improved and was good for us to try living as a couple and trying to see how we can work out our life and synchronize.
She is just not willing to. And seems to have a huge wall up. Well I tried all possible.
11:am got chating with Li about the Moc pop, she is in New Jersey and needed info about the Siebel works with Avaya
Series of emails back and forth between people. And I got chatting with Li on the internal company chat app
12:30 head home have the rest of the frozen pizza and a glass of milk.
Get back to work. still trying to figure out the solution for the issue with the program code. Trying asking Kriss for help he seemed to be busy. Think I will make one last attempt. almost frustrating to the point of giving up
Suddenly have another brain strom. And apply that . Wooo hooo it worked like magic after compiling.
Ahhh what a sense of achievement. It should not have taken more than half a day and I took like 5 days. All because I was looking at it in a very different way. Just had to pull back and look at it differently and the solution appears. I was defining the poblem wrong. I was looking at some symptom and trying to fix that, when in fact the symptom was the result of issues else where.
Just like life, have to just pull back and look where the real issue is.
Feel really charged up after having fixed this bug. Sometimes solutions are right in front of us, but we are not able to see it. So much for my own ego getting kicked in the butt. I am more humbled now. Thats another good learning lesson.
4:30 get to the training again and out by 5:30
Ajit wanted to know the Moc Pop was a desktop app or a Internet browser based. After the training go to the Call center and ask them , also get to see that its a IE based app, not a desktop app.
Feeling really charged. Called up the Dept of labour to complain about the company not having paid me the wages for two weeks of work done in New York. But kept getting the wrong sub -department. might try tomorrow.
Narayan called me again. Trying to get me to commit to meeting the malu lady friend of his.
I kept telling him no, I am not ready to do anything like that. He was trying to have her fly over to Philly and then have me pick her up at the airport. I told him I don't have a car that is registered and I cannot take the risk of driving like that.
Hope I don't get weak and fall for the pressure tactics he is using.
Also have to go out for my customs documentation tomorrow as I am driving a car with out any registration.
Lets see it almost 7pm if I can cook any curry up.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Day, how will it be?
Wednesday Jun-16-2010
===================
Woke up 5am and was up and about. Had a troubled sleep. Because of work, issue of fixing bug, hope that gets resolved soon.
Thinking about aunt and wish there was something I could do.
And over all an uneasy feeling.
Just made it to work around 7:10am joined in the daily conf call.
and found that the meeting of 8:am for CTI in india needed to be moved to 9:30am to 10:30am, which must 7pm to 8pm IST.
Saw a horoscope forecast
Your energy is largely focused on -- if not devoted to -- the concept of love right now. Love really is all you need, especially when it arrives in such an amazing package. Someone has recently entered (or is just about to enter) your life, and you feel like they may actually be too good to be true. Stop pinching yourself and just open your eyes -- this really is happening to you, and you don't want to miss it.
Is this possible, or is this something good to motivate myself into thinking that something positive is going to happen to me soon. Well either way it feels nice to read something flattering and something good to look forward to.
Its in a way like the words or philosophy and positive reaffarmation :)
Lets see how the day moves ahead. almost 7:50 am now
Get chatting with Eva on the iGoogle. saw her blog liked the part
Ideal action = generate energy + avoid dissipation of energy
What generates the dissipation of energy:
- regrets over dead past
- anxieties of unknown future
- excitement over living present (indispensability syndrome)
But i think that is part of living and learning.
It was nice chatting with eva on philosophy, wish she was more verbal and able to articualte her views when we talk. That way we could easily help each other think more and understand the wonderful world of Pshycology , Philosophy, Religion, Behavior, Nature, Dancing, Hiking.
Well what ever happens she is a different girl. Not every one is like her, wish we had better circumstance to have met. All seemed so hurry hurry and not enough time to really get to know each other on a spiritual and emotional level.
And realising that I wanted to get back together and made all possible effort. But she seems to have a very high wall up against me and not even wanting to consider.
Unfortunately relationships need the willingness of two people at the same time in life. :)
Just because one person is willing does not mean there is a possibility of anything happening. Sad reality. I hope she really finds what she is really looking for. And not get confused with what she sees there in India and fall for smooth talking people.
I can only wish the best for her and hope that she stays sincere and not loose the sense of truthfullness and honesty.
Hope that she not be that naieve and foolish to fall into the trap of some smooth talking people. Who will just lead her and use her for what ever self serving reasons.
9:30 meeting with Indian team and the possible future person who will be helping me / assisting me with my work from Bangalore.
10:30 status meeting for r19
12:noon start of with a question to Murali about the feasibility of using EAI for a screen pop. And one by one all the guys chip in and everyone seems to be having a brilliant idea better than the other.
In the end Eaklavs Idea seems to be making much more sense. Go up to the call center and check out with Anish and see that in the past 2 months they had a change in the way of operating. They used to use 2 computer, now they are using only one. So this goes easily with the model suggested by Eaklav.
1pm head off with Raj D to his house and then took him to the post office so that he could post some important doc for his wifes job in India.
1:50 pm reach home have lunch, Curd rice for the 2nd day. no meat, no veggie, no curry. just plain rice and yogurt.
Not able to connect to work again. Reboot system and the try to establish connection with wireless. took some time. Then around 4:15pm head back to work so that I can get to the training at 4:30. Around 6:30 pm get back home.
Sit out and start thinking about the path taken by my life.
Don't feel like going out for a run either, the sky looks like vancouver the whole day. Then saw a pizza delivery guy delivering to the neighboring building. Go over to the fridge and take out the Mediterranean Frozen Pizza I had, put it in the oven and have half. After that do not feel like eating.
Turn on the radio and listen to Rock music. :)
was browsing the greeting site and came across a very wonderful card with touching words. Just could not resist the temptation of sending it to Eva. Not asking her to do anything, just sending her something sweet and wonderful from the heart.
Such was my day.
===================
Woke up 5am and was up and about. Had a troubled sleep. Because of work, issue of fixing bug, hope that gets resolved soon.
Thinking about aunt and wish there was something I could do.
And over all an uneasy feeling.
Just made it to work around 7:10am joined in the daily conf call.
and found that the meeting of 8:am for CTI in india needed to be moved to 9:30am to 10:30am, which must 7pm to 8pm IST.
Saw a horoscope forecast
Your energy is largely focused on -- if not devoted to -- the concept of love right now. Love really is all you need, especially when it arrives in such an amazing package. Someone has recently entered (or is just about to enter) your life, and you feel like they may actually be too good to be true. Stop pinching yourself and just open your eyes -- this really is happening to you, and you don't want to miss it.
Is this possible, or is this something good to motivate myself into thinking that something positive is going to happen to me soon. Well either way it feels nice to read something flattering and something good to look forward to.
Its in a way like the words or philosophy and positive reaffarmation :)
Lets see how the day moves ahead. almost 7:50 am now
Get chatting with Eva on the iGoogle. saw her blog liked the part
Ideal action = generate energy + avoid dissipation of energy
What generates the dissipation of energy:
- regrets over dead past
- anxieties of unknown future
- excitement over living present (indispensability syndrome)
But i think that is part of living and learning.
It was nice chatting with eva on philosophy, wish she was more verbal and able to articualte her views when we talk. That way we could easily help each other think more and understand the wonderful world of Pshycology , Philosophy, Religion, Behavior, Nature, Dancing, Hiking.
Well what ever happens she is a different girl. Not every one is like her, wish we had better circumstance to have met. All seemed so hurry hurry and not enough time to really get to know each other on a spiritual and emotional level.
And realising that I wanted to get back together and made all possible effort. But she seems to have a very high wall up against me and not even wanting to consider.
Unfortunately relationships need the willingness of two people at the same time in life. :)
Just because one person is willing does not mean there is a possibility of anything happening. Sad reality. I hope she really finds what she is really looking for. And not get confused with what she sees there in India and fall for smooth talking people.
I can only wish the best for her and hope that she stays sincere and not loose the sense of truthfullness and honesty.
Hope that she not be that naieve and foolish to fall into the trap of some smooth talking people. Who will just lead her and use her for what ever self serving reasons.
9:30 meeting with Indian team and the possible future person who will be helping me / assisting me with my work from Bangalore.
10:30 status meeting for r19
12:noon start of with a question to Murali about the feasibility of using EAI for a screen pop. And one by one all the guys chip in and everyone seems to be having a brilliant idea better than the other.
In the end Eaklavs Idea seems to be making much more sense. Go up to the call center and check out with Anish and see that in the past 2 months they had a change in the way of operating. They used to use 2 computer, now they are using only one. So this goes easily with the model suggested by Eaklav.
1pm head off with Raj D to his house and then took him to the post office so that he could post some important doc for his wifes job in India.
1:50 pm reach home have lunch, Curd rice for the 2nd day. no meat, no veggie, no curry. just plain rice and yogurt.
Not able to connect to work again. Reboot system and the try to establish connection with wireless. took some time. Then around 4:15pm head back to work so that I can get to the training at 4:30. Around 6:30 pm get back home.
Sit out and start thinking about the path taken by my life.
Don't feel like going out for a run either, the sky looks like vancouver the whole day. Then saw a pizza delivery guy delivering to the neighboring building. Go over to the fridge and take out the Mediterranean Frozen Pizza I had, put it in the oven and have half. After that do not feel like eating.
Turn on the radio and listen to Rock music. :)
was browsing the greeting site and came across a very wonderful card with touching words. Just could not resist the temptation of sending it to Eva. Not asking her to do anything, just sending her something sweet and wonderful from the heart.
Such was my day.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Stressful day
Tuesday Jun-15-2010
********************
Woke up early as usual around 5:am out of bed by 5:20 . Got ready to go about my stuff. Have to complete and fix the bug in my code.
was about to step out when I just got to see the blog by Eva. Was reading it and experiencing her experience when the last part caught my attention.
Some guy was cocky enough to stop her and ask her for sex. India especially seems to be filled up with people like that who think that white women are just there for the fun of having sex and enjoying life. Guess its all the western movies showing the women in every movie as easily meeting and desperately making love. And the Indian movies are all about romancing and maybe one movie showing a lip to lip kiss.
Soon the men tend to think that the white women are just easily available for sex. And Indian women in general are very prude and not that adventures. Unless they are very westernized and behave like sex crazy bitches.
Also the fact that to get a Indian women to have an affair is much more work, compared to a western women.
But that does not mean that someone can just go upto a girl and ask her for sex like she is some kind of person who is a professional sex worker.
Wish that she would be careful. if a desparate person can come and ask her on a busy street, one can imagine what that guy would do if she was hiking or walking alone in a deserted place.
And india is not a place where you can just dial 911 and have the cops come over in a few mins. They don't even bother to come.
Get delayed reading the blog and reach work around 7:05am. get on to the conf bridge and the conf gets over pretty soon.
Latter on when I logged on to iGoogle, saw Eva online. chatted with a few lines. And then she took off.
Was too lost in trying to solve the issue the past few days. Stressed out for lack of any progress. Ask Kriss for help and he has an entirely different approach. Seemed to get angry to even go thru my approach.
So I tell him, okay lets try your approach. And after a few modifications his approach works.
Feel as thou my Ego took a huge beating. But have to accept it.
Ajit comes by and asks me to set up a meeting with the Bangalore office regarding the Siebel CTI work. Gives me a 1800 number to use. So send out a meeting msg to Venu in bangalore and Ajit. for tomrrow wednesday 8am EST.
Around 1:50 pm get out to head home and work from there. But after reaching home I am not able to connect to the Work system.
Try for sometime. then cook some rice and have it with yogurt. 3:30pm back to work After having my breakfast and lunch.
Ajit calls me and suggests to come over to his office in bldg 37. Go over and he seems to have some other idea of handling Moc POP. totally bypassing the Avaya.
Not really sure how that is going to work, seems totally out of my scope of work. But maybe I can get to it. Need to read up on EAI and discuss with other guys who are EAI experts.
Get home around 7pm another 12hrs shift. Really don't feel motivated to do anything even to cook. Coming back to a house of comfort and previlage. Sadly I am missing something that would make my bad feeling day better. Someone who could just hug me and make me feel loved. All the guys have wifes to go back too.
The old lady who came to borrow ice and lives 2 doors away came to return the ice tray. And told me that the two young people who she is living with just married last week.
Wow how different marriages are here. Even the neighbors never get to know. And in India all the neighbors get to know.
Well let me go for a walk and see if it will up lift my mood. Don't feel like going out running or biking.
Get call from Narayan when walking out. Tell him about my feeling frustration and missing having someone special in my life and he said that he called me to introduce me to a Malu girl who is a good friend of his. She is Going to visit him soon and he wants me to take her around New York. I keep trying to find excuses to avoid and he is trying to tell me how good she is and what not.
I am not sure I want to get into a relationship anymore with anyone. Opened up my heart with Eva after a very long time, only to find her drift away. He keeps trying to convince me to meet her and see how it will go. Atleast i get to meet another Malu girl here in US. I told him, now you are sounding like my uncles and parents. hehehe.
Then latter talk with Venkat in California. Again we talk about how my English is becoming more like Indian English and that I am not able to speak that fluently as I used to before. My English language skills are getting affected by been with Indians 12hrs a day.
Still thinking about what Aunt Shaila is going thru. How suddenly it affected her lif e. One day she is so nicely going about living her life taking care of others and suddenly someone has to take care of her.
What is the purpose of my life. So far I have just been going about living and struggling to live on my own. All my friends are married and busy with their own little families and they have something to get back home to. The love of their family to help them forget the stress of their long day at work.
Even this work does not feel satisfying. I rather be out doing the stock market. Atleast I don't have to report to anyone. Just have to be answerable to my own self for the decisions I make , sometimes profitable, most times this year has been good. But the thought of the past few years is very scary. Loosing hunderds of thousands of dollars.
So what is life and its meaning. Money disappears, love betrays. What is it all leading to. Yea yea yea, lots of philosophical words to make you feel better for a few moments,,, meditation, praying, working out,,,,,,,,
and then its back to facing reality of the world and facing the issues and emotions and desires and hopes and wishes and and and and....
Where exactly is it all taking me to.
Hopes of marrying and living with the one I love seems to be lost.
What is the purpose of this life. yea yea eya.. to do good to others and reap the benefits of karma in my next life.... :(
That does not seem to be so good a motivator.
********************
Woke up early as usual around 5:am out of bed by 5:20 . Got ready to go about my stuff. Have to complete and fix the bug in my code.
was about to step out when I just got to see the blog by Eva. Was reading it and experiencing her experience when the last part caught my attention.
Some guy was cocky enough to stop her and ask her for sex. India especially seems to be filled up with people like that who think that white women are just there for the fun of having sex and enjoying life. Guess its all the western movies showing the women in every movie as easily meeting and desperately making love. And the Indian movies are all about romancing and maybe one movie showing a lip to lip kiss.
Soon the men tend to think that the white women are just easily available for sex. And Indian women in general are very prude and not that adventures. Unless they are very westernized and behave like sex crazy bitches.
Also the fact that to get a Indian women to have an affair is much more work, compared to a western women.
But that does not mean that someone can just go upto a girl and ask her for sex like she is some kind of person who is a professional sex worker.
Wish that she would be careful. if a desparate person can come and ask her on a busy street, one can imagine what that guy would do if she was hiking or walking alone in a deserted place.
And india is not a place where you can just dial 911 and have the cops come over in a few mins. They don't even bother to come.
Get delayed reading the blog and reach work around 7:05am. get on to the conf bridge and the conf gets over pretty soon.
Latter on when I logged on to iGoogle, saw Eva online. chatted with a few lines. And then she took off.
Was too lost in trying to solve the issue the past few days. Stressed out for lack of any progress. Ask Kriss for help and he has an entirely different approach. Seemed to get angry to even go thru my approach.
So I tell him, okay lets try your approach. And after a few modifications his approach works.
Feel as thou my Ego took a huge beating. But have to accept it.
Ajit comes by and asks me to set up a meeting with the Bangalore office regarding the Siebel CTI work. Gives me a 1800 number to use. So send out a meeting msg to Venu in bangalore and Ajit. for tomrrow wednesday 8am EST.
Around 1:50 pm get out to head home and work from there. But after reaching home I am not able to connect to the Work system.
Try for sometime. then cook some rice and have it with yogurt. 3:30pm back to work After having my breakfast and lunch.
Ajit calls me and suggests to come over to his office in bldg 37. Go over and he seems to have some other idea of handling Moc POP. totally bypassing the Avaya.
Not really sure how that is going to work, seems totally out of my scope of work. But maybe I can get to it. Need to read up on EAI and discuss with other guys who are EAI experts.
Get home around 7pm another 12hrs shift. Really don't feel motivated to do anything even to cook. Coming back to a house of comfort and previlage. Sadly I am missing something that would make my bad feeling day better. Someone who could just hug me and make me feel loved. All the guys have wifes to go back too.
The old lady who came to borrow ice and lives 2 doors away came to return the ice tray. And told me that the two young people who she is living with just married last week.
Wow how different marriages are here. Even the neighbors never get to know. And in India all the neighbors get to know.
Well let me go for a walk and see if it will up lift my mood. Don't feel like going out running or biking.
Get call from Narayan when walking out. Tell him about my feeling frustration and missing having someone special in my life and he said that he called me to introduce me to a Malu girl who is a good friend of his. She is Going to visit him soon and he wants me to take her around New York. I keep trying to find excuses to avoid and he is trying to tell me how good she is and what not.
I am not sure I want to get into a relationship anymore with anyone. Opened up my heart with Eva after a very long time, only to find her drift away. He keeps trying to convince me to meet her and see how it will go. Atleast i get to meet another Malu girl here in US. I told him, now you are sounding like my uncles and parents. hehehe.
Then latter talk with Venkat in California. Again we talk about how my English is becoming more like Indian English and that I am not able to speak that fluently as I used to before. My English language skills are getting affected by been with Indians 12hrs a day.
Still thinking about what Aunt Shaila is going thru. How suddenly it affected her lif e. One day she is so nicely going about living her life taking care of others and suddenly someone has to take care of her.
What is the purpose of my life. So far I have just been going about living and struggling to live on my own. All my friends are married and busy with their own little families and they have something to get back home to. The love of their family to help them forget the stress of their long day at work.
Even this work does not feel satisfying. I rather be out doing the stock market. Atleast I don't have to report to anyone. Just have to be answerable to my own self for the decisions I make , sometimes profitable, most times this year has been good. But the thought of the past few years is very scary. Loosing hunderds of thousands of dollars.
So what is life and its meaning. Money disappears, love betrays. What is it all leading to. Yea yea yea, lots of philosophical words to make you feel better for a few moments,,, meditation, praying, working out,,,,,,,,
and then its back to facing reality of the world and facing the issues and emotions and desires and hopes and wishes and and and and....
Where exactly is it all taking me to.
Hopes of marrying and living with the one I love seems to be lost.
What is the purpose of this life. yea yea eya.. to do good to others and reap the benefits of karma in my next life.... :(
That does not seem to be so good a motivator.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Start of new week.
Monday, Jun 14 2010
---------------++-----
6:68am made it to work desk. Woke up with some kind of bad dream and was not able to sleep after that. Just remember the feeling of something not right, not able to recollect anything. Maybe its a good thing. Just need to focus on the postive and stay positive.
Just remember that I did not have dinner yesterday night either.
7:08am Kriss comes in late, the rest of the people seem to have been waiting. I need to fix this escript thing , was playing around with the code to understand. need to do research on a similar code.
Put in the memory stick to get to the old code and suddenly a exotic gypsy song starts playing,. Trace it back to the music Eva copied it for me when she was in Vancovuer. Wow about a year latter.
This is the music she uses for belly dancing.
She keeps coming back to me in some way or the other. Hopefully she is doing well and this is not again something thats telling me that she must be in some kind of trouble. (bad dream + music from her) And the music seems to be haunting and of someone in pain. Oh please god. protect that sweet brain and please guide her into a path of Virtue.
Need to keep track of the market today to see how high it will go and be on the path of recovering all my lost material fortune. Hopefully I can atleast get back more than 50 percent this year. Or who know I may get by everything that I lost in the stock market
7:36am and the meeting comes to an end. Issues with not been able to log on to the Server data base. so no work was been done in India today. Paid holiday due to server problem in US. :)
Suddenly saw a mail from CZ something to do with Czech on my iPhone. Not able to access personal mails from work. Forwared the msg to Eva hoping for some translation.
Should I believe in life showing all kinds of hidden and visible message and hints and take actions or just let life take me where ever I am going with out any sense of purpose and direction.
Eka-lavayaa was saying that he was able to get into google chat with iGoogle. let me try that.
Kool it works. Should I use it. Just see Eva and Prameela online. Tempted to chat with Eva and ask about her well being and maybe send her some positivitity. What if she is not interested in chatting with me and is busy with some other. awww, don't want to screw her mood. Don't really know how and what she is thinking.
Start chatting with Prameela. funny how we met thru a kerala marriage web portal, became friends after our horoscope did not match and our castes were different.
she basically grew up in bangalore. Latter got married to a software guy Malu from singapore and is now settled in Chennai. She just said that she got promoted as branch Head of the Chennai branch last month. kool, way to go girl. :)
She was really dissappointed when my parents raised the issuse of caste incompatibility. And now they were even open to me marrying a non- indian. But ,,,
hehehe, she is asking me about marriage and is feeling so bad for me. well what can we do, we can just try. she is trying to motivate me..
Saw translation from Eva about the cz mail. so sent her a msg via google chat.
Pramee is saying that she is feeling sad for me and saying that i have to forget horoscope and just marry. heheehe
she is telling me her husband is now in singapore and her inlaws are helping her with the baby, taking care of the kid when she is out working.
she had something interesting to say:
Prameela: actualy i wasnt interested in marriage at all....but some how whne this proposal came my mind acepted..i felt this is Gud...
may be its the feeling in u rself plays an important role
me: thats how its supposed to happen, when you get the right one you feel that its the right one.
Prameela : ur right the bel wil ring...
Well i felt like that with E, she said she felt it too. But looks like things are happening in a very different way.
Prameela : i m seriously going to find a nice girl fo u
wow.. another person going to look for a girl for me :) hehehe
Eva goes offline. was pleasent chatting with her. Hope we can get back to been nice with each other and be good soul buddies.
Then get lost in the maze of Bug fixing. been working on it for two days now. Its been a long time since I did any e-scripting.
After 12:30 head off home and start working from there. Have my breakfast and yesterday nights dinner all in one.
Around 3pm get call from the Car registration agency that the DMV at harrisburg rejected my documents saying they needed more.
Now I have to go around again to customs offices to figure out what needs to be done.
Go to the agency office and get my documents.
Then go back to office. 4:30 training. then @ 5:30 get back to desk again working on the problem. Get out of work exhausted and drained @7:30pm. been working for 12.5 hrs now. ahhh need a break.
Almost 8pm now and no motivation to cook anything. :(
Better to go out for some Free Monday night salsa. Atleast there will be some girls there who will be all happy and appreciative and complimenting me.
The question is, do I look externally for others appreciation and compliments to make me feel better about myself or do I try the long way of doing good and positive things and feel better about myself. :)
---------------++-----
6:68am made it to work desk. Woke up with some kind of bad dream and was not able to sleep after that. Just remember the feeling of something not right, not able to recollect anything. Maybe its a good thing. Just need to focus on the postive and stay positive.
Just remember that I did not have dinner yesterday night either.
7:08am Kriss comes in late, the rest of the people seem to have been waiting. I need to fix this escript thing , was playing around with the code to understand. need to do research on a similar code.
Put in the memory stick to get to the old code and suddenly a exotic gypsy song starts playing,. Trace it back to the music Eva copied it for me when she was in Vancovuer. Wow about a year latter.
This is the music she uses for belly dancing.
She keeps coming back to me in some way or the other. Hopefully she is doing well and this is not again something thats telling me that she must be in some kind of trouble. (bad dream + music from her) And the music seems to be haunting and of someone in pain. Oh please god. protect that sweet brain and please guide her into a path of Virtue.
Need to keep track of the market today to see how high it will go and be on the path of recovering all my lost material fortune. Hopefully I can atleast get back more than 50 percent this year. Or who know I may get by everything that I lost in the stock market
7:36am and the meeting comes to an end. Issues with not been able to log on to the Server data base. so no work was been done in India today. Paid holiday due to server problem in US. :)
Suddenly saw a mail from CZ something to do with Czech on my iPhone. Not able to access personal mails from work. Forwared the msg to Eva hoping for some translation.
Should I believe in life showing all kinds of hidden and visible message and hints and take actions or just let life take me where ever I am going with out any sense of purpose and direction.
Eka-lavayaa was saying that he was able to get into google chat with iGoogle. let me try that.
Kool it works. Should I use it. Just see Eva and Prameela online. Tempted to chat with Eva and ask about her well being and maybe send her some positivitity. What if she is not interested in chatting with me and is busy with some other. awww, don't want to screw her mood. Don't really know how and what she is thinking.
Start chatting with Prameela. funny how we met thru a kerala marriage web portal, became friends after our horoscope did not match and our castes were different.
she basically grew up in bangalore. Latter got married to a software guy Malu from singapore and is now settled in Chennai. She just said that she got promoted as branch Head of the Chennai branch last month. kool, way to go girl. :)
She was really dissappointed when my parents raised the issuse of caste incompatibility. And now they were even open to me marrying a non- indian. But ,,,
hehehe, she is asking me about marriage and is feeling so bad for me. well what can we do, we can just try. she is trying to motivate me..
Saw translation from Eva about the cz mail. so sent her a msg via google chat.
Pramee is saying that she is feeling sad for me and saying that i have to forget horoscope and just marry. heheehe
she is telling me her husband is now in singapore and her inlaws are helping her with the baby, taking care of the kid when she is out working.
she had something interesting to say:
Prameela: actualy i wasnt interested in marriage at all....but some how whne this proposal came my mind acepted..i felt this is Gud...
may be its the feeling in u rself plays an important role
me: thats how its supposed to happen, when you get the right one you feel that its the right one.
Prameela : ur right the bel wil ring...
Well i felt like that with E, she said she felt it too. But looks like things are happening in a very different way.
Prameela : i m seriously going to find a nice girl fo u
wow.. another person going to look for a girl for me :) hehehe
Eva goes offline. was pleasent chatting with her. Hope we can get back to been nice with each other and be good soul buddies.
Then get lost in the maze of Bug fixing. been working on it for two days now. Its been a long time since I did any e-scripting.
After 12:30 head off home and start working from there. Have my breakfast and yesterday nights dinner all in one.
Around 3pm get call from the Car registration agency that the DMV at harrisburg rejected my documents saying they needed more.
Now I have to go around again to customs offices to figure out what needs to be done.
Go to the agency office and get my documents.
Then go back to office. 4:30 training. then @ 5:30 get back to desk again working on the problem. Get out of work exhausted and drained @7:30pm. been working for 12.5 hrs now. ahhh need a break.
Almost 8pm now and no motivation to cook anything. :(
Better to go out for some Free Monday night salsa. Atleast there will be some girls there who will be all happy and appreciative and complimenting me.
The question is, do I look externally for others appreciation and compliments to make me feel better about myself or do I try the long way of doing good and positive things and feel better about myself. :)
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Great looking morning
Sunday, Jun-13-2010
----------------------------
Wake up late around 9am and check mails and blog.
Clean up house a bit and need to do come shopping.
Machine the hair of my head and now look like a monk again. Great for summer time.
shower and mediate after for a bit. Mind seems to be running about wildly. Need to control the temptations and impulses.
Thinking of aunt and hoping that things will get better for her soon.
Went shopping at Costco. had lobster for the first time. melts in the mouth.
Got Icecream cones for the first time. reading a lot of Icecream , now its my turn to have icecream in summer. :) Also got one item free, chicken popcorns. :) about time.
Was driving towards the Patel grocery when it suddnely started raining like crazy, zero visibility , with lightening and thunder. Pulled over into one of the parking lots, many people followed me in and just sat there in the parking lot waiting for the sudden rains to stop. It was scary for a moment rather for about 30 mins. looked like it would flood soon.
But the rain slowed down after 30mins and felt relieved. It was like suddenly the dam walls of heavens flood gates just opened up and just let all the water from the skies drop down.
Got some frozen masala dosa (udipi style), some medhu vada and just vada. should be great food for emergency and delicious. Enjoying the different regional foods of India away from India. :) what more can I ask for.
Life is kind to me, thank you very much for all the kindness and all the great stuff I have in my life. Thank you for my fortunate and wonderful life. Please also be kind to my aunt in her time of dire need. She is one of the most wonderful persons in the world. She should be a saint. Also please help guide E in her time of confusion and protect her from creeps and sleezy characters who just will take advantage of her foolish innocent novice thinking.
3:30 get back home and watch FIFA football on laptop, thru streaming internet.
heat up 2 of the masalsa dosas and found it to be really good treat. :)
Still bothered by aunt shailaja's cancer and the way it spread. Life is so filled with uncertainties.
So many things could happen and change ones life.
One small mistake,
one small uncontrolled event,
one illness.
Just one something and a whole new twist to life.
Sometimes affecting the lifes of all those close to us.
Sometimes affecting the rest of our life.
Maybe Physically,
Maybe Emotionally,
Like a scar, caused by fire.
We could have listened to others experience,
Or we could put our hand in the fire and burn our hand,
Great first hand experience,
Then we would be scared for life.
The choice there is something we make.
We can try and should try to prevent the preventable
And then we would not latter regret, that we did not try
Sometimes things happen beyond our control.
That we cannot see and cannot control.
Let that be like a passing storm.
It will pass and we will emerge strong.
Talked with Sara for a long time. She just finished her running.
Told me about her life story and relationship, struggles with trying to work and study at the same time and keeping up with her hobby of running.
Feel so sad for her and people like her, they have to struggle so much just to make it thru college. No help from parents or anyone to pay off the college fees. And she had to go thru so much just the past 7 months. But now she seems to be reaching some stability in life.
Maybe one of these days she will be able to make it to Philly and we can go out hiking and salsa dancing. Right now she has her sisters wedding to make arrangements for and is finding it tough to manage the finances. poor gal.
So flattering and heart warming that she thinks I am the best salsa dance partner she ever had. :) Atleast she thinks I am worthy of something. Thank you so much.
----------------------------
Wake up late around 9am and check mails and blog.
Clean up house a bit and need to do come shopping.
Machine the hair of my head and now look like a monk again. Great for summer time.
shower and mediate after for a bit. Mind seems to be running about wildly. Need to control the temptations and impulses.
Thinking of aunt and hoping that things will get better for her soon.
Went shopping at Costco. had lobster for the first time. melts in the mouth.
Got Icecream cones for the first time. reading a lot of Icecream , now its my turn to have icecream in summer. :) Also got one item free, chicken popcorns. :) about time.
Was driving towards the Patel grocery when it suddnely started raining like crazy, zero visibility , with lightening and thunder. Pulled over into one of the parking lots, many people followed me in and just sat there in the parking lot waiting for the sudden rains to stop. It was scary for a moment rather for about 30 mins. looked like it would flood soon.
But the rain slowed down after 30mins and felt relieved. It was like suddenly the dam walls of heavens flood gates just opened up and just let all the water from the skies drop down.
Got some frozen masala dosa (udipi style), some medhu vada and just vada. should be great food for emergency and delicious. Enjoying the different regional foods of India away from India. :) what more can I ask for.
Life is kind to me, thank you very much for all the kindness and all the great stuff I have in my life. Thank you for my fortunate and wonderful life. Please also be kind to my aunt in her time of dire need. She is one of the most wonderful persons in the world. She should be a saint. Also please help guide E in her time of confusion and protect her from creeps and sleezy characters who just will take advantage of her foolish innocent novice thinking.
3:30 get back home and watch FIFA football on laptop, thru streaming internet.
heat up 2 of the masalsa dosas and found it to be really good treat. :)
Still bothered by aunt shailaja's cancer and the way it spread. Life is so filled with uncertainties.
So many things could happen and change ones life.
One small mistake,
one small uncontrolled event,
one illness.
Just one something and a whole new twist to life.
Sometimes affecting the lifes of all those close to us.
Sometimes affecting the rest of our life.
Maybe Physically,
Maybe Emotionally,
Like a scar, caused by fire.
We could have listened to others experience,
Or we could put our hand in the fire and burn our hand,
Great first hand experience,
Then we would be scared for life.
The choice there is something we make.
We can try and should try to prevent the preventable
And then we would not latter regret, that we did not try
Sometimes things happen beyond our control.
That we cannot see and cannot control.
Let that be like a passing storm.
It will pass and we will emerge strong.
Talked with Sara for a long time. She just finished her running.
Told me about her life story and relationship, struggles with trying to work and study at the same time and keeping up with her hobby of running.
Feel so sad for her and people like her, they have to struggle so much just to make it thru college. No help from parents or anyone to pay off the college fees. And she had to go thru so much just the past 7 months. But now she seems to be reaching some stability in life.
Maybe one of these days she will be able to make it to Philly and we can go out hiking and salsa dancing. Right now she has her sisters wedding to make arrangements for and is finding it tough to manage the finances. poor gal.
So flattering and heart warming that she thinks I am the best salsa dance partner she ever had. :) Atleast she thinks I am worthy of something. Thank you so much.
Hiking, princeton, lunch, salsa
Saturday, Jun-12-2010
----------------------------
Woke up late, hung over from yesterdays vodka and cranberry juice. Needed to get to the hike by 11:15am in New Jersey. (Its a different state/province) neighboring Pennsylvania.
Start organizing the stuff and as Malini suggested may go for having something to eat after the hike and salsa maybe after. So need to pack up a fresh pair of shirts too. And for the salsa in Philly, these guys are getting picky with the shoes too. Ahhh I hate to dance in the leather shoes.
Have break fast, with the remaining chicken curry and rice.
was aiming at starting off at 9:30 but could only start by 10:am. Its about one and half hour drive.
Call up parents and talk to them on the cell while driving hands free. Mom tells me Shaila aunts cancer has got worse even after the chemo-therapy. As she is very weak after the chemo secession and will not be able to take more chemo. So the doctors said they cannot do anything anymore. She now needs assistance to walk and is staying with the other aunt.
Worst part is that with no direction and hope, they have now gone to take some medicine from Malaysia, which is supposed to be a mix of Ayurveda and Homeopathy .... how the hell is that possible that Ayurveda and Homeopathy can mix up. They are so different in approach and concept.
I hate these crooks and rouges who take advantage of helpless people and exploit their sense and want for some kind of hope and relief. And these medicines are so costly too. And I am working for a Big Pharma. And these are not medicines from the the Big Pharma either, its just some random person getting out some funny stuff and exploiting the cancer stricken people with heavy false propaganda.
Helpless people like people who are drowning will latch on to anything that they can get their hands on to.
Feel so helpless and sick not been there to be of any help.
Dad seems to take the opinion of not saying anything. Then he says there is out break of Dengu epidimic. I thought that they had it under control along with the H1N1 and chicken fever. Looks like there are fresh cases getting reported the heavy rain.
One of my aunts neighbors house got stuck by lightening. luckiely no one was there in the house at that time. Burned off one of the side walls. Cost of living in paradise.
Maybe Eva not able to go to Kerala is a good thing now, as its a very bad climate and conditions to go visit especially when there is fresh out break of Dengu. Let me try sending her the msg by mail.
anyways drive to the location of hiking using the GPS on my cell phone. And reach there by 11:20am. See a lot of cars parked but non seem to be from PA, so it was a relief. Check the mail using iphone and see that the hike is only starting at 11:45am. So I was early. :)
That was a relief.
Slowly people start arriving by 11:30am.
Its 11:50am and no Malini. She is the one that lives closest to this hike, as its near to Princeton University. So send her a text msg. She arrives around 12. Ah Nice to see someone who I can talk with and relate to.
Start off the hike and all are so busy talking we forget to keep track of the trail and loose our way. That was wonderful adventure of walking around the mountain side with out knowing where we are supposed to go. After some walking around we get back to the trail. Some of the people were so bitching about this and that. Hey where is your sense of adventure. ahhh some people
Get talking with malini during the latter part of the hike again we are like kids comparing our experience of Indian life style and how things are. Get to know that we both are working for Big Pharma. she is working for Some Bristol Myers as an Internal Auditor.
She keeps traveling all over during the week and only back home during weekends. She seems to have issues with her H1B work visa too. As it will come to an end by one more year. She wants to go to Sydney Australia. I suggest that she go to Vancouver as its got plenty of hiking trails and one of the best cities in the world to live in. With all year round activities.
Then we start discussing about cooking curries and her experience in Kerala. She lives about 60kms from the Kerala border.
Get around to talking about Srilankan food and Hyderabadi biriyani. yuuummm.
Another thing that caught me by surprise was when she mentioned that she loves the Canadian Indian comedian Russel Peter. wow and we keep talking about his jokes for sometime laughing like crazy on the hike and the others are wondering what was happening. hehehehe. Lovely connection. ;)
She seems so nice and down to earth. Does not wear make up. That was a huge surprise for me in an Indian girl.
Very sophisticated, upper class Indian. As she went to one the best Boarding High Schools in India for the Richy-rich people. So I guess she never had to work for minimum wages like me and would not know much about living a financially insecure life. She was speaking of her sister visiting her in US from India and she did not even know how to cook milk. As they have people for cooking at home and taking care of everything.
That was one thing, I always hate about some of my cousin sisters too. They are all so spoilt brats, they don't know what hard work is. How its tough for other people who are not financially sound and how they have to live at the mercy of conditions beyond their control. They don't know how we have to think 10 times before we spend money on some thing and cannot go about throwing our money everywhere.
Sidney the hiking lead. suggests that we all go for lunch after the hike. I said, I am in, malini seemed uncertain, In the end she got in too. yeah girl.
We all go to the little town of Princeton. Filled with lots of people as its a University town and many students from across the world. Ivy League college.
We go to Alchemist restaurant. It seemed pricey to me. The waitress Ana Bela was so very sweet and nice. She was really down to earth too. Was very accommodating to our requests. There was the FIFA match going on, US vs UK. which ended in a draw.
Had Veggie burger with veggie chips. And also had a beer. costed about $23 with tips.
After paying the bills dropped off malini near to her car. She seemed too tired so Salsa was doubtful. Tell her to give me a call and let me know.
I drive around Princeton and take the I95, my fav highway as I worked on my first US-GIS maps project involving I-95 in Jacksonville florida when I was in India in 1993 as team lead. One day will travel the whole i-95 and go visit Jacksonville and drive around that City.
get home feel tired and worn out. after about 20 mins around 7pm Malini calls up and says she is feeling too tired to come out salsa dancing. As she has to drive about 1.5 hrs to reach Philly downtown. And on her own she promises to come out after two weeks when she returns from New Orleans. She is going there to Audit for 2 weeks.
Around 9pm I am tempted to go out dancing or not to. Thought about it, have nothing much to do, as I don't have TV either. Get out into the car, go the gas station and fill up full tank of 13 gallons for about $32 and just start driving towards Philly downtown.
The streets are filled up with lots of young crowd. Some kind of graduation for most colleges. Get into salsa with the door man bitching about my shoes. Next time got to wear the leather shoes. such a turn off.
Dance with a few people there. End up dancing with a very pretty girl non stop for many songs and a sensual bachata with her. Jenny and she started talking with me in spanish. I told her I don't speak Spanish. But it was an awesome connection after such a long time.
Latter when I was just standing by the fan a girl comes by me and starts talking in spanish with me. Again, am I looking that Latino? After I tell her that I am not latin, she starts talking in english, non stop and was been very nice and comforting with her attention. Her friends came a took a few pics of her and me. She started posing with me.. She looked like she was about to kiss me. I turned my face away. They all came together to celebrate her sisters birthday. Well I am currently not available and not looking either.
Funny how you end up getting so much when you really are not interested. And the one person I am interested in is not even interested in talking to me.
Life has its own direction. Waiting and watching where it will take me and who will be my partner for life.
----------------------------
Woke up late, hung over from yesterdays vodka and cranberry juice. Needed to get to the hike by 11:15am in New Jersey. (Its a different state/province) neighboring Pennsylvania.
Start organizing the stuff and as Malini suggested may go for having something to eat after the hike and salsa maybe after. So need to pack up a fresh pair of shirts too. And for the salsa in Philly, these guys are getting picky with the shoes too. Ahhh I hate to dance in the leather shoes.
Have break fast, with the remaining chicken curry and rice.
was aiming at starting off at 9:30 but could only start by 10:am. Its about one and half hour drive.
Call up parents and talk to them on the cell while driving hands free. Mom tells me Shaila aunts cancer has got worse even after the chemo-therapy. As she is very weak after the chemo secession and will not be able to take more chemo. So the doctors said they cannot do anything anymore. She now needs assistance to walk and is staying with the other aunt.
Worst part is that with no direction and hope, they have now gone to take some medicine from Malaysia, which is supposed to be a mix of Ayurveda and Homeopathy .... how the hell is that possible that Ayurveda and Homeopathy can mix up. They are so different in approach and concept.
I hate these crooks and rouges who take advantage of helpless people and exploit their sense and want for some kind of hope and relief. And these medicines are so costly too. And I am working for a Big Pharma. And these are not medicines from the the Big Pharma either, its just some random person getting out some funny stuff and exploiting the cancer stricken people with heavy false propaganda.
Helpless people like people who are drowning will latch on to anything that they can get their hands on to.
Feel so helpless and sick not been there to be of any help.
Dad seems to take the opinion of not saying anything. Then he says there is out break of Dengu epidimic. I thought that they had it under control along with the H1N1 and chicken fever. Looks like there are fresh cases getting reported the heavy rain.
One of my aunts neighbors house got stuck by lightening. luckiely no one was there in the house at that time. Burned off one of the side walls. Cost of living in paradise.
Maybe Eva not able to go to Kerala is a good thing now, as its a very bad climate and conditions to go visit especially when there is fresh out break of Dengu. Let me try sending her the msg by mail.
anyways drive to the location of hiking using the GPS on my cell phone. And reach there by 11:20am. See a lot of cars parked but non seem to be from PA, so it was a relief. Check the mail using iphone and see that the hike is only starting at 11:45am. So I was early. :)
That was a relief.
Slowly people start arriving by 11:30am.
Its 11:50am and no Malini. She is the one that lives closest to this hike, as its near to Princeton University. So send her a text msg. She arrives around 12. Ah Nice to see someone who I can talk with and relate to.
Start off the hike and all are so busy talking we forget to keep track of the trail and loose our way. That was wonderful adventure of walking around the mountain side with out knowing where we are supposed to go. After some walking around we get back to the trail. Some of the people were so bitching about this and that. Hey where is your sense of adventure. ahhh some people
Get talking with malini during the latter part of the hike again we are like kids comparing our experience of Indian life style and how things are. Get to know that we both are working for Big Pharma. she is working for Some Bristol Myers as an Internal Auditor.
She keeps traveling all over during the week and only back home during weekends. She seems to have issues with her H1B work visa too. As it will come to an end by one more year. She wants to go to Sydney Australia. I suggest that she go to Vancouver as its got plenty of hiking trails and one of the best cities in the world to live in. With all year round activities.
Then we start discussing about cooking curries and her experience in Kerala. She lives about 60kms from the Kerala border.
Get around to talking about Srilankan food and Hyderabadi biriyani. yuuummm.
Another thing that caught me by surprise was when she mentioned that she loves the Canadian Indian comedian Russel Peter. wow and we keep talking about his jokes for sometime laughing like crazy on the hike and the others are wondering what was happening. hehehehe. Lovely connection. ;)
She seems so nice and down to earth. Does not wear make up. That was a huge surprise for me in an Indian girl.
Very sophisticated, upper class Indian. As she went to one the best Boarding High Schools in India for the Richy-rich people. So I guess she never had to work for minimum wages like me and would not know much about living a financially insecure life. She was speaking of her sister visiting her in US from India and she did not even know how to cook milk. As they have people for cooking at home and taking care of everything.
That was one thing, I always hate about some of my cousin sisters too. They are all so spoilt brats, they don't know what hard work is. How its tough for other people who are not financially sound and how they have to live at the mercy of conditions beyond their control. They don't know how we have to think 10 times before we spend money on some thing and cannot go about throwing our money everywhere.
Sidney the hiking lead. suggests that we all go for lunch after the hike. I said, I am in, malini seemed uncertain, In the end she got in too. yeah girl.
We all go to the little town of Princeton. Filled with lots of people as its a University town and many students from across the world. Ivy League college.
We go to Alchemist restaurant. It seemed pricey to me. The waitress Ana Bela was so very sweet and nice. She was really down to earth too. Was very accommodating to our requests. There was the FIFA match going on, US vs UK. which ended in a draw.
Had Veggie burger with veggie chips. And also had a beer. costed about $23 with tips.
After paying the bills dropped off malini near to her car. She seemed too tired so Salsa was doubtful. Tell her to give me a call and let me know.
I drive around Princeton and take the I95, my fav highway as I worked on my first US-GIS maps project involving I-95 in Jacksonville florida when I was in India in 1993 as team lead. One day will travel the whole i-95 and go visit Jacksonville and drive around that City.
get home feel tired and worn out. after about 20 mins around 7pm Malini calls up and says she is feeling too tired to come out salsa dancing. As she has to drive about 1.5 hrs to reach Philly downtown. And on her own she promises to come out after two weeks when she returns from New Orleans. She is going there to Audit for 2 weeks.
Around 9pm I am tempted to go out dancing or not to. Thought about it, have nothing much to do, as I don't have TV either. Get out into the car, go the gas station and fill up full tank of 13 gallons for about $32 and just start driving towards Philly downtown.
The streets are filled up with lots of young crowd. Some kind of graduation for most colleges. Get into salsa with the door man bitching about my shoes. Next time got to wear the leather shoes. such a turn off.
Dance with a few people there. End up dancing with a very pretty girl non stop for many songs and a sensual bachata with her. Jenny and she started talking with me in spanish. I told her I don't speak Spanish. But it was an awesome connection after such a long time.
Latter when I was just standing by the fan a girl comes by me and starts talking in spanish with me. Again, am I looking that Latino? After I tell her that I am not latin, she starts talking in english, non stop and was been very nice and comforting with her attention. Her friends came a took a few pics of her and me. She started posing with me.. She looked like she was about to kiss me. I turned my face away. They all came together to celebrate her sisters birthday. Well I am currently not available and not looking either.
Funny how you end up getting so much when you really are not interested. And the one person I am interested in is not even interested in talking to me.
Life has its own direction. Waiting and watching where it will take me and who will be my partner for life.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Weekend yahoo
Friday, Jun-11-2010
---------------------
Woke up early at 4:30 am not sure what caused me to wake up. But went back to sleep again and then got out of bed by 5:30am. After the morning wash room visit. Just checked mail to see Evas mail. This one was a bit more calmer and peaceful and with positive feelings.
Replied to that and also sent her a email I got from Sailaja. About breathing, it was really a very good mail to forward as it had some simple yoga techniques with explanation.
It is very strange how the human body is build. Its a whole area of unlimited exploration.
Beacause of taking time to reply, I got delayed by a couple of mins and reached desk about 3 mins late for joining the 7am conf call with Kolkota.
hahaaha,, again the Indian teams 7:00am (EST) which is like 4:30pm IST is always 10 mins late.
poor kriss is going crazy trying to explain stuff to the people in India. Hope he will not go mad by the end of this project.
Was thinking about Malini, she seems to be into Hiking too, but she likes to be control, plan everything and go. Guess she is a very organized person.
Not adventurous like me and Eva, just going with out any reservations or major plan. Just go and then try to find a place to stay, hehehehe,, that was some high stressful risk we took. Don't think Eva even realized how stressed I was hoping that we don't have to spend our night in some place with crazy murdering psychos around. Especially in Sanfranciso and when returning at Cedar city.
Wish we had lived for sometime together and established a more working relationship and understanding before we took the risk of testing the relationship with the trip.
Well I tried and like Cecile said, she is still trying to find herself. A women knows what another women is going thru better. And since they seem to come from similar background and Cecile been much more experienced understand her actions better. We all like to think that we have discovered ourself but after sometime and more experience in life, we understand that what we thought and imagined 10 years ago was so foolish and immature.
That is life. Live life today and live it with goodness of heart and intentions. And I am able to sleep peacefully with out any guilty conscious.
Cheers
7:40am and the conf call is still on... i see the message light on my work phone on. have to wait for the conf call to be over to check who left a msg for me.
7:50am Conf call still on. Talks about auditing and stuff. :)
got a interesting quote "The practice of peace and reconciliation is one of the most vital and artistic of human actions"
Guess I am trying to practice that with Eva. And in turn finding healing within myself and the hurt. A great experience of putting my ego and dignity to one side. Did not know that I could go down so much just for the sake of love.
Good to know my commitment limits.
7:55am end of conf, now to get back to my job
:)))
Saw the news that FIFA world cup football started off and there was a draw between mexico and South Africa opening game. Was too late to get it on Espn3.
Was too busy working on trying a way to fix some issue for future development.
12:30pm get out of work and reach home by 12:35. heat up the last of the curry and have it with rice.
1:30 heading out to work again. Everyone at work seems to be in a very relaxed state and already making grand plans for the weekend. That is the huge difference in life style in US and India.
Got to call Malini and see what her plans for the weekend are. Atleast good to know there is a Indian girl who is interested in Salsa dancing and Hiking. cheers ;)
Surprise, surprise for me to in the afternoon surprise to see her mail saying that tonight she maybe busy, she is just retruning from an Audit from boston and that she wants me to come hiking tomorrow (saturday) near to her house in the town of princeton, where the hiking group is meeting. After the hike she wants to go out with me to eat. And then from there go out salsa dancing. She sent the mail via iPhone when driving back. Sweet and thoughtful girl.
Only thing discouraging for me is the long drive. Hopefully she makes it worth while with her company. She promised to give me a software so that I can get all the iPhone apps free. Lets see how that works, do I have to remind her or will she give it to me. Lets see if she is thought full enough to care about what she promises and follow it up.
got back home by 6:30. had a few indian snacks. nothing big. then had a vodka canberry juice (Cosmo). relaxing on the balcony, listening to the birds sweetly romancing with their sweet talk to each other.
---------------------
Woke up early at 4:30 am not sure what caused me to wake up. But went back to sleep again and then got out of bed by 5:30am. After the morning wash room visit. Just checked mail to see Evas mail. This one was a bit more calmer and peaceful and with positive feelings.
Replied to that and also sent her a email I got from Sailaja. About breathing, it was really a very good mail to forward as it had some simple yoga techniques with explanation.
It is very strange how the human body is build. Its a whole area of unlimited exploration.
Beacause of taking time to reply, I got delayed by a couple of mins and reached desk about 3 mins late for joining the 7am conf call with Kolkota.
hahaaha,, again the Indian teams 7:00am (EST) which is like 4:30pm IST is always 10 mins late.
poor kriss is going crazy trying to explain stuff to the people in India. Hope he will not go mad by the end of this project.
Was thinking about Malini, she seems to be into Hiking too, but she likes to be control, plan everything and go. Guess she is a very organized person.
Not adventurous like me and Eva, just going with out any reservations or major plan. Just go and then try to find a place to stay, hehehehe,, that was some high stressful risk we took. Don't think Eva even realized how stressed I was hoping that we don't have to spend our night in some place with crazy murdering psychos around. Especially in Sanfranciso and when returning at Cedar city.
Wish we had lived for sometime together and established a more working relationship and understanding before we took the risk of testing the relationship with the trip.
Well I tried and like Cecile said, she is still trying to find herself. A women knows what another women is going thru better. And since they seem to come from similar background and Cecile been much more experienced understand her actions better. We all like to think that we have discovered ourself but after sometime and more experience in life, we understand that what we thought and imagined 10 years ago was so foolish and immature.
That is life. Live life today and live it with goodness of heart and intentions. And I am able to sleep peacefully with out any guilty conscious.
Cheers
7:40am and the conf call is still on... i see the message light on my work phone on. have to wait for the conf call to be over to check who left a msg for me.
7:50am Conf call still on. Talks about auditing and stuff. :)
got a interesting quote "The practice of peace and reconciliation is one of the most vital and artistic of human actions"
Guess I am trying to practice that with Eva. And in turn finding healing within myself and the hurt. A great experience of putting my ego and dignity to one side. Did not know that I could go down so much just for the sake of love.
Good to know my commitment limits.
7:55am end of conf, now to get back to my job
:)))
Saw the news that FIFA world cup football started off and there was a draw between mexico and South Africa opening game. Was too late to get it on Espn3.
Was too busy working on trying a way to fix some issue for future development.
12:30pm get out of work and reach home by 12:35. heat up the last of the curry and have it with rice.
1:30 heading out to work again. Everyone at work seems to be in a very relaxed state and already making grand plans for the weekend. That is the huge difference in life style in US and India.
Got to call Malini and see what her plans for the weekend are. Atleast good to know there is a Indian girl who is interested in Salsa dancing and Hiking. cheers ;)
Surprise, surprise for me to in the afternoon surprise to see her mail saying that tonight she maybe busy, she is just retruning from an Audit from boston and that she wants me to come hiking tomorrow (saturday) near to her house in the town of princeton, where the hiking group is meeting. After the hike she wants to go out with me to eat. And then from there go out salsa dancing. She sent the mail via iPhone when driving back. Sweet and thoughtful girl.
Only thing discouraging for me is the long drive. Hopefully she makes it worth while with her company. She promised to give me a software so that I can get all the iPhone apps free. Lets see how that works, do I have to remind her or will she give it to me. Lets see if she is thought full enough to care about what she promises and follow it up.
got back home by 6:30. had a few indian snacks. nothing big. then had a vodka canberry juice (Cosmo). relaxing on the balcony, listening to the birds sweetly romancing with their sweet talk to each other.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)