TU_day, May 25, 2010
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Woke up around 6am and was aiming for work at 7am, but as usualy now its 8:03 and I am only just ready to get out.
Made masala tea and put in container to take to work, then the salmon curry packed for lunch.
Saw the touching reply from Lubo and Martha. again felt like crying . ahhh so nice people.
just got on to the net to check imp mails and checked e`s blog and saw a reply. Felt happy to connect with her. She is the sweetest when she wants to be, and at that time I feel like conquering the world for her. I hope she always remains the sweet girl I fell madly in love with. Always happy.
Wish we could just get back together here in US, as its easier for her to come. Unlike in Canada, where I was not even sure of a job. And even my concern that I might end up in a place where she might not like turned out to be I am in a place she would love to be. with lots of nature and calmness. The city far away for the occasional salsa dancing.
yesterday I went out for some free salsa dancing, as usual the salsa crowd every where is cheap, they love free places to dance. More people turned out. Wished she was here to enjoy salsa than getting roasted and screwing up her health in the hottest city in India.
8:08 off to work.
Reached desk at 8:35, after struggling to find parking in the parking high raise building. Its surprising how many people turn up early with the hope to avoid traffic. And the indians working with me turn around 9:30am,, hehehe.
Saw that Evi had replied to another blog too. awww she is still the one I love. If only she loved me likewise.
Got to file the Claim for damage to my goods when it was been shipped to US. More concered about the damage to the car.
12:00 got the salmon curry rice from the car, heated it in the microwave and had a full stomach lunch.
Life seems to have changed in many ways, feel a bit more secure and also unsecure. Not sure what will happen, where the waves of future will take me.
Have stopped watching TV its been like more than 2 months now. did not even feel like watching TV when I was in Vancouver.
Eva will be proud to have brought about this change in me. As it goes with her thinking and life style.
Had meeting around 1 to 2pm with the middle ware team and was surprised to know that they have not yet decided on the design and approach for the MOC piece for the screen pop.
Well thats something we can start our work on soon.
Canada just had it long week end, this coming week end its going to be in the US. Other than going to NJ for narayans babys induction into the world of letters (education) ceremony at the temple on saturday. I have nothing planned out. Most of the guys are going around US to Niagra or New York or visiting some historic place, I don't seem to have much other than go out salsa dancing.
5pm training, got out around 7pm dropped off Raj at his house on the way.
wow that is like about 11 hrs at work. its now 7:20 and its bright outside.
Should I go for a run or do some light work out. I did some light work out in the morning.!!???.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
want to over come the feeling
Mooonday, May 24, 2010
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woke up at 6 and was aiming for 7 to be at work. But as usual practical issues take over. now its 7:35 and just thought of updating the blog before I run out with my home cooked food. Which is yesterdays dinner. Salmon curry. The whole room is smelling of curry now. Lucky I closed the bedroom door, is it open now.. Damm it was, anyways closed it .
Was thinking about my feelings. Everytime I think of another gal, I feel as thou I am cheating on Eva. Why is that, she already dumped me and moved on to other guys. Why should I still feel like that? is it cause deep inside I still love her and wish that she would return, surely there is no hope, but there are wishes. Hope I could if she was even thinking like me.
How do I over come this feeling of not been true?
And if I try to hook up with someone for a rebound, even that would not be fair to the other person. Who might really love me and I would not be able to lover her back in return the same way. Ohh how do I over come this feeling???
8:00am reach work desk after parking.
12:00 have luch, which is my last night dinner.
What a life. Peaceful, yet something missing. The security, of living and hope for the next day. My life does not seem to have that thing called security, rather plenty of insecurity, just like the stock market. Up one day, down the next.
Got to start calling up the moving company and claim the damage and also call up geico about having sent the canadian drivers history.
Then bank for some reason they wanted me to call back.
just wondering if this is the real life I want. Feel home sick and with the news of Aunts sickness makes me feel really leathergic.
have to find optimism in something creative.
Called up Bank and got the green signal that nothing is bad and it was just a promo call.
Called up Katie at the Fry wagnor moving and same story of not picking up my call. left a msg about the damage.
Called up Geico and was told that they got my canadian history that i faxed and they need to check my US history. not sure if my premium will change cause of that.
Feel a bit relieve cause of that.
Changed address of Att to lansdale. Tried calling Anil regarding the bill for $96 he was talking about, as I don't see any online.
Sent out mail to Ajit and sangeeta regarding the issues with mrk timesheet.
2:30 called up katie again and got to her thru the receptionist paging her. Said Patty will contact me by tomorrow and have the documents to me for filing in the claims.
Checked E's blog, feels nice that she is getting into Meditation, hope her out look on life and her ability to control her angry outbursts improve. Much needed for her.
3:45 called up Radhish regarding the payment and he seems to be stalling for time. and said some rajshekar the HR guy from satyam is negotiating with them. Told him that I will just go to the labor court and complain about them all. And asked him to give me the email address of Rajshekar.
Tempted to send Eva a mail asking her again if she would like to try out been together in US and see how it all goes. Wish she would have been a bit more mature minded and not shoot to extremes like breaking up and then regreting it..... kind of unstable way of thinking by a person when we both were comitted to achieving the ultimate , marriage.
4:30 meeting
6:25 call up Niti Mehta of Apex-2000 regarding the status of my salary. and she was non-commitive and was trying to blame me. got irritate and told her that I did give enough notice unlike she is making it out to be. 703-961-0288 x 101.
Will wait for one more week, send out an official mail to her tonite with all the other concerned people involved. And look at the opitions of going to Labour Dept and complaining about them.
Gosh almost spent $4000 on all this.
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woke up at 6 and was aiming for 7 to be at work. But as usual practical issues take over. now its 7:35 and just thought of updating the blog before I run out with my home cooked food. Which is yesterdays dinner. Salmon curry. The whole room is smelling of curry now. Lucky I closed the bedroom door, is it open now.. Damm it was, anyways closed it .
Was thinking about my feelings. Everytime I think of another gal, I feel as thou I am cheating on Eva. Why is that, she already dumped me and moved on to other guys. Why should I still feel like that? is it cause deep inside I still love her and wish that she would return, surely there is no hope, but there are wishes. Hope I could if she was even thinking like me.
How do I over come this feeling of not been true?
And if I try to hook up with someone for a rebound, even that would not be fair to the other person. Who might really love me and I would not be able to lover her back in return the same way. Ohh how do I over come this feeling???
8:00am reach work desk after parking.
12:00 have luch, which is my last night dinner.
What a life. Peaceful, yet something missing. The security, of living and hope for the next day. My life does not seem to have that thing called security, rather plenty of insecurity, just like the stock market. Up one day, down the next.
Got to start calling up the moving company and claim the damage and also call up geico about having sent the canadian drivers history.
Then bank for some reason they wanted me to call back.
just wondering if this is the real life I want. Feel home sick and with the news of Aunts sickness makes me feel really leathergic.
have to find optimism in something creative.
Called up Bank and got the green signal that nothing is bad and it was just a promo call.
Called up Katie at the Fry wagnor moving and same story of not picking up my call. left a msg about the damage.
Called up Geico and was told that they got my canadian history that i faxed and they need to check my US history. not sure if my premium will change cause of that.
Feel a bit relieve cause of that.
Changed address of Att to lansdale. Tried calling Anil regarding the bill for $96 he was talking about, as I don't see any online.
Sent out mail to Ajit and sangeeta regarding the issues with mrk timesheet.
2:30 called up katie again and got to her thru the receptionist paging her. Said Patty will contact me by tomorrow and have the documents to me for filing in the claims.
Checked E's blog, feels nice that she is getting into Meditation, hope her out look on life and her ability to control her angry outbursts improve. Much needed for her.
3:45 called up Radhish regarding the payment and he seems to be stalling for time. and said some rajshekar the HR guy from satyam is negotiating with them. Told him that I will just go to the labor court and complain about them all. And asked him to give me the email address of Rajshekar.
Tempted to send Eva a mail asking her again if she would like to try out been together in US and see how it all goes. Wish she would have been a bit more mature minded and not shoot to extremes like breaking up and then regreting it..... kind of unstable way of thinking by a person when we both were comitted to achieving the ultimate , marriage.
4:30 meeting
6:25 call up Niti Mehta of Apex-2000 regarding the status of my salary. and she was non-commitive and was trying to blame me. got irritate and told her that I did give enough notice unlike she is making it out to be. 703-961-0288 x 101.
Will wait for one more week, send out an official mail to her tonite with all the other concerned people involved. And look at the opitions of going to Labour Dept and complaining about them.
Gosh almost spent $4000 on all this.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
wake up with night mare
Sunday, May 23, 2010
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
woke up with some kind of night mare again at 2am, confused as to the day of the week, is it sunday or monday. Do i have to go to work. So far have not done any real work and its almost 2 months. april may. And I have not got paid for the 2 weeks at Satyam-apex2000.
ok try to get back to sleeping. need to start working out, this week was lost and only work out was dancing crazy salsa and one merengue with a cute Italian looking gal.
Have a feeling something major is going to happen soon. Need to start focusing on career. Thou my heart is crying out for someone dear and near in my life. All the artificial created egoistic walls. If only they were easy to climb.
From the first girl (Sr) who left a huge gap in my life with her betrayal, by prefering to marry a rich guy over me,
to (Ni) my crush with the sweet smile and seemingly innocent behavior.
to (MP) who I liked but never really loved, She knew it well as I never said I did love her nor said any lie to mislead her. Was partially my need for companion ship when in mumbai.
to (AsM) who was so sweet and ideal, like soul mates in happiness, but then my own conservative requirement to only marry a malu,
to the one (NaP) the pediatrician, who I almost got engaged to and whos parents turned out to be family friends of my parents, and family friends for 100`s of years, who betrayed me by leading me on to believe that she wants to spend all her life with me, no matter what her dad says and went on to marry another docter her dad arranged for, and who had more guy friends than girls.
to (Su) mechanial Engg, like me, who I spend hrs talking into the late nights and was on a swing of emotions and who prefered men friends over girl friends.
to (Jo) who was a free spiritied gal, turned out had a preference for too many men friends in her life and prefered muscled white men,
to (GiL) who I fell head over heals for all the saddness and trouble she faced in life and who betrayed me by cheating on me with her ex.
to (MaAn) who I ended up in bed the fastest for her deep need for an Indian boyfriend to my need to validate myself after the betrayal by Gi. And who moved away as soon as she came into my life.
To (LiB) who was playing the game of trying to have me and other at the same time and trying to control,
to (TaB) who was trying to give me the excuse of, I am going to have lots of friends and I don`t care what you think (only her friends also happened to be fuck buddies).
To (EvS) who was also exibiting the same traits of wanting too many guy friends but stopped short of becoming fuck buddies to all the guy friends she tries to have and calls all girl friends as stupid.
She was the one I was hoping to spend the rest of my life. The one i opened up my life and heart of recent with lots of hesitation after about 2 years, to the extend of wanting to go against my own parents wishes. But who turned out to be in love with someone else really and I was just another stepping stone for her. Thought that I could trust her unlike the other gals, but soon she started exhibiting the lying pattern of behavior that I have become so familiar with. The same dialogues, the same vauge talk, the same words of leaving too much to imagination to simple questions, hahahaha,, after sometime it becomes so easy to spot a lying cheating female. They all have the same pattern of behavior, all cheating humans do. EvS was the one I was so looking forward to having lots of kids with and a great bubbling happy family. But like someone said so appropriately, she still needs to find herself. Just that by the time she finds herself, it will be too late to be with me. Thats the choice she had and thats the choice she made.
I gave up my significant career, just to be with her and spend time with her travelling on the west coast of US. And all I got in return was a load of pain and anguish from her self-centered behavior.
Before the trip it was, i don`t care about hiking, just want to spend time with you, within 24 hrs of landing, she just dumped me and the food (that I was not interested in) and walked away , with out even a word. Not even the common courtesy and decency to say, `I am going down for the hike`.
And then she has the nerve to tell me about behaving like a civilized person and how to talk decently and respectfully. Well lady, how about practicing before expecting something like that in return.
The Dozen who came into my life, my one sided affairs and my just kiss for the moment on the dance floor, a few passionate bachata dancers, who danced like we were having sex with cloths on, don`t remember most of the rest much. These are the top 12 from my first to my last so far.
There are few others who i met briefly, but circumstances did not permit for things to develop, like SaB and Del. Two sweet and nice gals, if circumstances were different or I had met them at different times, would have probably ended up marrying one of them.
There were many more small time affairs and one sided crushes, in between not significant.
Common thread, gals with too many guy friends, always trouble and never going to be in love forever, with me.
Too much of gypsy mentality.
And most of these gals made the move on me. Another thing to avoid.
I think I choose the easy path as, these gals were already interested in me when I was not really interested or available. And gave into the temptation.
And then when I started getting too deeply involved, they just backed out. It was like they were interested in me when I was a challenge and once they got me, they lost interest.
Back to sleep. And wait the real purpose in my life. Got to start focusing on my career, too much time lost chasing dreams and excitement that took me nowhere. While all the lousy guys seems to have made it big, with their own house(s) and family and steady life.
Woke up again from a night mare I could not remember around 7:am. To many disturbing thoughts and dreams, have to get back into mediating mode again.
Cleaned up the washroom a bit. surprising how much of scum gets accumulated even by one person in a month.
Maybe go to the temple in NJ around afternoon. now its 9: maybe call up home, then do more organizing and unpâcking and then head off around 11am or better still in the afternoon to avoid rush. Sounds like a plan.
9:45 called up home and no one picked up the phone. Called again, dad picks up and says that they just got back from a party.
Its seems Cousins son ``ATHUL`` got an award for topping the exams of High School, from the state government last year. He got the award given to him about 1,250 US dollars just a few days ago. He was among the 2 people who got it.
So there was a small little family party at an hotel. And there were 25 people. let me see, ahhh even if I count the closest family its more than 25, so some must not have come. And even his baby sister ``Ankitha`` got top marks this year A+. Thats another party next year. Wow it must be the water there. All my cousins even my mom topped their regional exams. Feels nice to be part of an elite group of intellectual people.
Sad news, my fav aunt Shailaja, got re-admitted to hospital after her breast cancer which was supposed to have been cured appeared or rather spread to some other areas. Other aunts are taking time to spend with her in the hospital. Feel like crying.
1:00pm head out and drive towards temple, talk with AV and narayan briefly on the way.
2:30 reach temple.
3:00 get into the cafetria of temple after prayers and bit of mediation and order 3 tamrind rice to take out.
3:30 start off from temple
5:30 reach home after filling up gas on the way, just before entering the Penn state border in New Jersey.
1st attempt to cook my salmon curry.
atlast motivate myself to do it. now its almost 9:45pm and maybe I will let it boil for another 15 mins on low. Not feeling hungry at all. Friday just had one hot dog, Even on Saturday did not eat anything, and only had tamrind rice in the evening today. Kind of becoming a person who can live on with out food. Or is it depression that I am going thru??
Thinking of aunt and wishing her and praying for her well being. Its been almost 4 years since I have seen anyone in my family. Whats happening to me and my life, when will I be able to go to my lovely land of gods. Natural and serene in its virgin beauty. Green that seems to make my eyes relax like an open eyed meditation.
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
woke up with some kind of night mare again at 2am, confused as to the day of the week, is it sunday or monday. Do i have to go to work. So far have not done any real work and its almost 2 months. april may. And I have not got paid for the 2 weeks at Satyam-apex2000.
ok try to get back to sleeping. need to start working out, this week was lost and only work out was dancing crazy salsa and one merengue with a cute Italian looking gal.
Have a feeling something major is going to happen soon. Need to start focusing on career. Thou my heart is crying out for someone dear and near in my life. All the artificial created egoistic walls. If only they were easy to climb.
From the first girl (Sr) who left a huge gap in my life with her betrayal, by prefering to marry a rich guy over me,
to (Ni) my crush with the sweet smile and seemingly innocent behavior.
to (MP) who I liked but never really loved, She knew it well as I never said I did love her nor said any lie to mislead her. Was partially my need for companion ship when in mumbai.
to (AsM) who was so sweet and ideal, like soul mates in happiness, but then my own conservative requirement to only marry a malu,
to the one (NaP) the pediatrician, who I almost got engaged to and whos parents turned out to be family friends of my parents, and family friends for 100`s of years, who betrayed me by leading me on to believe that she wants to spend all her life with me, no matter what her dad says and went on to marry another docter her dad arranged for, and who had more guy friends than girls.
to (Su) mechanial Engg, like me, who I spend hrs talking into the late nights and was on a swing of emotions and who prefered men friends over girl friends.
to (Jo) who was a free spiritied gal, turned out had a preference for too many men friends in her life and prefered muscled white men,
to (GiL) who I fell head over heals for all the saddness and trouble she faced in life and who betrayed me by cheating on me with her ex.
to (MaAn) who I ended up in bed the fastest for her deep need for an Indian boyfriend to my need to validate myself after the betrayal by Gi. And who moved away as soon as she came into my life.
To (LiB) who was playing the game of trying to have me and other at the same time and trying to control,
to (TaB) who was trying to give me the excuse of, I am going to have lots of friends and I don`t care what you think (only her friends also happened to be fuck buddies).
To (EvS) who was also exibiting the same traits of wanting too many guy friends but stopped short of becoming fuck buddies to all the guy friends she tries to have and calls all girl friends as stupid.
She was the one I was hoping to spend the rest of my life. The one i opened up my life and heart of recent with lots of hesitation after about 2 years, to the extend of wanting to go against my own parents wishes. But who turned out to be in love with someone else really and I was just another stepping stone for her. Thought that I could trust her unlike the other gals, but soon she started exhibiting the lying pattern of behavior that I have become so familiar with. The same dialogues, the same vauge talk, the same words of leaving too much to imagination to simple questions, hahahaha,, after sometime it becomes so easy to spot a lying cheating female. They all have the same pattern of behavior, all cheating humans do. EvS was the one I was so looking forward to having lots of kids with and a great bubbling happy family. But like someone said so appropriately, she still needs to find herself. Just that by the time she finds herself, it will be too late to be with me. Thats the choice she had and thats the choice she made.
I gave up my significant career, just to be with her and spend time with her travelling on the west coast of US. And all I got in return was a load of pain and anguish from her self-centered behavior.
Before the trip it was, i don`t care about hiking, just want to spend time with you, within 24 hrs of landing, she just dumped me and the food (that I was not interested in) and walked away , with out even a word. Not even the common courtesy and decency to say, `I am going down for the hike`.
And then she has the nerve to tell me about behaving like a civilized person and how to talk decently and respectfully. Well lady, how about practicing before expecting something like that in return.
The Dozen who came into my life, my one sided affairs and my just kiss for the moment on the dance floor, a few passionate bachata dancers, who danced like we were having sex with cloths on, don`t remember most of the rest much. These are the top 12 from my first to my last so far.
There are few others who i met briefly, but circumstances did not permit for things to develop, like SaB and Del. Two sweet and nice gals, if circumstances were different or I had met them at different times, would have probably ended up marrying one of them.
There were many more small time affairs and one sided crushes, in between not significant.
Common thread, gals with too many guy friends, always trouble and never going to be in love forever, with me.
Too much of gypsy mentality.
And most of these gals made the move on me. Another thing to avoid.
I think I choose the easy path as, these gals were already interested in me when I was not really interested or available. And gave into the temptation.
And then when I started getting too deeply involved, they just backed out. It was like they were interested in me when I was a challenge and once they got me, they lost interest.
Back to sleep. And wait the real purpose in my life. Got to start focusing on my career, too much time lost chasing dreams and excitement that took me nowhere. While all the lousy guys seems to have made it big, with their own house(s) and family and steady life.
Woke up again from a night mare I could not remember around 7:am. To many disturbing thoughts and dreams, have to get back into mediating mode again.
Cleaned up the washroom a bit. surprising how much of scum gets accumulated even by one person in a month.
Maybe go to the temple in NJ around afternoon. now its 9: maybe call up home, then do more organizing and unpâcking and then head off around 11am or better still in the afternoon to avoid rush. Sounds like a plan.
9:45 called up home and no one picked up the phone. Called again, dad picks up and says that they just got back from a party.
Its seems Cousins son ``ATHUL`` got an award for topping the exams of High School, from the state government last year. He got the award given to him about 1,250 US dollars just a few days ago. He was among the 2 people who got it.
So there was a small little family party at an hotel. And there were 25 people. let me see, ahhh even if I count the closest family its more than 25, so some must not have come. And even his baby sister ``Ankitha`` got top marks this year A+. Thats another party next year. Wow it must be the water there. All my cousins even my mom topped their regional exams. Feels nice to be part of an elite group of intellectual people.
Sad news, my fav aunt Shailaja, got re-admitted to hospital after her breast cancer which was supposed to have been cured appeared or rather spread to some other areas. Other aunts are taking time to spend with her in the hospital. Feel like crying.
1:00pm head out and drive towards temple, talk with AV and narayan briefly on the way.
2:30 reach temple.
3:00 get into the cafetria of temple after prayers and bit of mediation and order 3 tamrind rice to take out.
3:30 start off from temple
5:30 reach home after filling up gas on the way, just before entering the Penn state border in New Jersey.
1st attempt to cook my salmon curry.
atlast motivate myself to do it. now its almost 9:45pm and maybe I will let it boil for another 15 mins on low. Not feeling hungry at all. Friday just had one hot dog, Even on Saturday did not eat anything, and only had tamrind rice in the evening today. Kind of becoming a person who can live on with out food. Or is it depression that I am going thru??
Thinking of aunt and wishing her and praying for her well being. Its been almost 4 years since I have seen anyone in my family. Whats happening to me and my life, when will I be able to go to my lovely land of gods. Natural and serene in its virgin beauty. Green that seems to make my eyes relax like an open eyed meditation.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
morning after night out
Sat, May 22, 2010
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Woke up after a late night of Salsa in the city. Found two places to dance salsa in downtown now.
It was an amazing nite dancing with some really hot looking girls who were able to follow. One girl came and asked me to dance twice, one on a cha-cha and then surprisingly she came all the way from across the room and asked me dance on a bachata.
Is there something there? She waved a very shy bye-bye before she left for the night. And she seemed to be looking at me when she was dancing with other guys.
Not sure what will happen. Girls are all mysterious. She is undoubtedly very pretty and her friend also was very hot looking. Her friend was so easy to dance salsa with, she seemed so happy after I dipped her a couple of times. She loved it most , was smiling from ear to ear and looked like she was going to kiss me, had I not moved my face and it ended up in a side kiss and hug. Her eyes and expression looked the same way evas was when she surprised me with a tongue lock kiss on top of cypress.
Ahhhh I am not one who likes to have a relationship with someone because she is hot. Yes it does help in the sexual attraction department.
And then met a girl from Brazil who looked so much like an indian and her boy friend comes and asks me to dance with her. wow! Either I have become a better dancer by not dancing for so many months or something magical is about to happen.
Surprising I don`t remember any of their names, its like I don`t care what your name is, you are going to be another of those sluts who will just use me for what ever you see on the outside and then dump me for another bigger better deal (BBD). Its all like the business deals for you in the west. Just business. :) So why should I treat you different. I will also use u for what ever you are worth. That way I don`t have much emotion committed to you.
Got msg on Skype from Lubo about letter arriving , that I sent with Evas tax returns.
The online status showed that it came about 15 days ago to their country. And missy Eva did not even have the courtesy to reply to my mail. After her trip to Delhi and feeling like an arrogant celebrity, it looks like she thinks that every one should just come and kiss up her back. And that she can just cut people off like some cold hearted slut... yes slut is the word that Amit used and she proved him right. Have to agree with amit and also Nilesh that this is what you can expect from the people of the west. And I just turned out to be the fool who sent her dresses and collector items for her birth day. And all the while she was really going to »India to meet him and be with him. She might not be slut in the physical sense (not yet), but on the emotional side, she is big time. And does what most sluts do, fool themselves into believing that they are very poius and pure and are very consicious about critizism from their close ones and try to project a different image to their close people.
Again proving my instincts right that I did not travel to India with her or commit to going to India to travel to Kerala with her, as she just needed me as back up if Amit does not fall into her trap. Or who know that guy Rishit or her kiss buddy Mihir. Like I foresaw, she would end up with someone there, as is her character with in the month. And another one the next. .. Much against what she said, how can I get into another relationship so soon.... well here u go.
It feels so sick that she just wanted to maintain a cordial relationship till she got her check and then as soon as she got her check and returned from Delhi she decided to cut off on facebook. Something that I did not have the heart to do.
And now it feels so strange to be in communication with her parents, who were potential in-laws. Well she is the product of their creation, if I am feeling sick of her overall behavior, then they have to take some blame too. Her selfish mother most of all. Her mother does not come across to me as a honest person. Maybe very sensitive person, but she is not honest with herself. And that is one trait that Eva seems to have in her a lot. A LOT.
Well like beena said``
She has focus mostly on defining the problem wrong. And hence will continue to do the same mistakes as she goes on ahead. Until such time as she decides to face the honest reality of her own actions.
Its great to read about good positive words, but whats the use if your actions are contradicting your words. And everything she writes on the Facebook wall feels like pretty boxes with junk in them. As whats inside is so shallow and superficial.
Hope that her new move into mediation might help her improve her inner self. Or again if she chooses the easier way of combining her own comfort level mixing junk with it, then its a lost cause.
Got to move on, maybe she and others before her are just some kind of trial runs for me before the real love comes into my life. But it feels so sick and not right. Why did so many things happen, why so many co-incidences. And why did I put in so much energy and my life into it, working and hoping that she was the one. Only to have her kick and stomp my heart like some crazy ball or to be crushed like a grape.
I still never under stood her fettish for kissing and been kissed by strangers. I thought and others think too that the may 1st kiss should be by someone we love not just random strangers or friends. Its celebrating lovers day by that special kiss . Not the love between friends, between friends its on the cheeks not mouth to mouth.
Guess she is not even aware of the pics raymondo posted on the web of them kissing last year. It felt so sick to see those pics, it was not just one kiss, it was so many and she calls it ahh just a kiss between friends,, yea right,,, stop bullshiting yourself first. He was just using that as a stage to get to the next stage of having sex as just friends. just like so many other guys in salsa , who use tricks like that to induce and seduce girls, step by step. Either she is truly an idot or she is someone who is not aware of the boundaries of relationship and where to draw the line or is like other girls who get easily seduced by playboys who know how to exploit weak character women.
I surely would not be able to live with someone kissing my wife or lover on the mouth. I would die of jealousy. And to me it is as holy as having loyalty and faithfullness towards my partner. But her values seem to be different or the values she liked to adopt. And its not anything to do with culture. Its all about man-women relationship and its sacredness to ones own heart. The fact that she so easily broke off everytime she got angry says that she does not hold the union and relationship to the high standards that I hold. For her its just an ego boost or just another kiss with some stranger on the mouth.
Well its not like that for me.
Good lesson learnt, next time there is someone who is showing any sick behavior like that, just cut them off and move away.
Well she will either become someone who will just go around the world changing boyfriends every month and become a true slut like amit said or will end up marrying Amit if she is lucky to trap him. Or who knows he must be a smarter guy who will just seduce her with his words and just use her for what ever ideas he has. He atleast seems to have screwed it up big time between me and her or no, she was already setting it up to appear that way so that it will be easier to convince him or her next lover that I was an ass hole. Good for her and her Karma. cheers.
1:00pm, After noon set out to go shopping at costco, Patel grocerries and wal mart.
Funny how I just said kem-cho to a lady giving out samples at costco and she just started talking to me in gujarathi and I was just looking at her not knowing what to say.
4:00pm returned back home and noticed that there are a bunch of girls living opposite to my apartment and they were having a party... hmm would be nice to get to meet them.
New neighbor replaced the Indian from hyderabad. New guy is from Haiti. Seems to be having a bit of snobbishness about him. The french ascent even thou he is of african origin.
Wanted to cook my first salmon curry, had Bru Coffee that I brought at the Patel store, thought that it would be instant coffee, but it was not, so kind of disappointed there.
Feeling so sleepy, passed out in the couch, this time with out TV. woke up with some kind of night mare again at 2am, confused as to the day of the week, is it sunday or monday. Do i have to go to work. So far have not done any real work and its almost 2 months. april may. And I have not got paid for the 2 weeks at Satyam-apex2000.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Woke up after a late night of Salsa in the city. Found two places to dance salsa in downtown now.
It was an amazing nite dancing with some really hot looking girls who were able to follow. One girl came and asked me to dance twice, one on a cha-cha and then surprisingly she came all the way from across the room and asked me dance on a bachata.
Is there something there? She waved a very shy bye-bye before she left for the night. And she seemed to be looking at me when she was dancing with other guys.
Not sure what will happen. Girls are all mysterious. She is undoubtedly very pretty and her friend also was very hot looking. Her friend was so easy to dance salsa with, she seemed so happy after I dipped her a couple of times. She loved it most , was smiling from ear to ear and looked like she was going to kiss me, had I not moved my face and it ended up in a side kiss and hug. Her eyes and expression looked the same way evas was when she surprised me with a tongue lock kiss on top of cypress.
Ahhhh I am not one who likes to have a relationship with someone because she is hot. Yes it does help in the sexual attraction department.
And then met a girl from Brazil who looked so much like an indian and her boy friend comes and asks me to dance with her. wow! Either I have become a better dancer by not dancing for so many months or something magical is about to happen.
Surprising I don`t remember any of their names, its like I don`t care what your name is, you are going to be another of those sluts who will just use me for what ever you see on the outside and then dump me for another bigger better deal (BBD). Its all like the business deals for you in the west. Just business. :) So why should I treat you different. I will also use u for what ever you are worth. That way I don`t have much emotion committed to you.
Got msg on Skype from Lubo about letter arriving , that I sent with Evas tax returns.
The online status showed that it came about 15 days ago to their country. And missy Eva did not even have the courtesy to reply to my mail. After her trip to Delhi and feeling like an arrogant celebrity, it looks like she thinks that every one should just come and kiss up her back. And that she can just cut people off like some cold hearted slut... yes slut is the word that Amit used and she proved him right. Have to agree with amit and also Nilesh that this is what you can expect from the people of the west. And I just turned out to be the fool who sent her dresses and collector items for her birth day. And all the while she was really going to »India to meet him and be with him. She might not be slut in the physical sense (not yet), but on the emotional side, she is big time. And does what most sluts do, fool themselves into believing that they are very poius and pure and are very consicious about critizism from their close ones and try to project a different image to their close people.
Again proving my instincts right that I did not travel to India with her or commit to going to India to travel to Kerala with her, as she just needed me as back up if Amit does not fall into her trap. Or who know that guy Rishit or her kiss buddy Mihir. Like I foresaw, she would end up with someone there, as is her character with in the month. And another one the next. .. Much against what she said, how can I get into another relationship so soon.... well here u go.
It feels so sick that she just wanted to maintain a cordial relationship till she got her check and then as soon as she got her check and returned from Delhi she decided to cut off on facebook. Something that I did not have the heart to do.
And now it feels so strange to be in communication with her parents, who were potential in-laws. Well she is the product of their creation, if I am feeling sick of her overall behavior, then they have to take some blame too. Her selfish mother most of all. Her mother does not come across to me as a honest person. Maybe very sensitive person, but she is not honest with herself. And that is one trait that Eva seems to have in her a lot. A LOT.
Well like beena said``
"When you fall, don't see the place where you fell, instead see the place from where you slipped. Life is about correcting mistakes."
She has focus mostly on defining the problem wrong. And hence will continue to do the same mistakes as she goes on ahead. Until such time as she decides to face the honest reality of her own actions.
Its great to read about good positive words, but whats the use if your actions are contradicting your words. And everything she writes on the Facebook wall feels like pretty boxes with junk in them. As whats inside is so shallow and superficial.
Hope that her new move into mediation might help her improve her inner self. Or again if she chooses the easier way of combining her own comfort level mixing junk with it, then its a lost cause.
Got to move on, maybe she and others before her are just some kind of trial runs for me before the real love comes into my life. But it feels so sick and not right. Why did so many things happen, why so many co-incidences. And why did I put in so much energy and my life into it, working and hoping that she was the one. Only to have her kick and stomp my heart like some crazy ball or to be crushed like a grape.
I still never under stood her fettish for kissing and been kissed by strangers. I thought and others think too that the may 1st kiss should be by someone we love not just random strangers or friends. Its celebrating lovers day by that special kiss . Not the love between friends, between friends its on the cheeks not mouth to mouth.
Guess she is not even aware of the pics raymondo posted on the web of them kissing last year. It felt so sick to see those pics, it was not just one kiss, it was so many and she calls it ahh just a kiss between friends,, yea right,,, stop bullshiting yourself first. He was just using that as a stage to get to the next stage of having sex as just friends. just like so many other guys in salsa , who use tricks like that to induce and seduce girls, step by step. Either she is truly an idot or she is someone who is not aware of the boundaries of relationship and where to draw the line or is like other girls who get easily seduced by playboys who know how to exploit weak character women.
I surely would not be able to live with someone kissing my wife or lover on the mouth. I would die of jealousy. And to me it is as holy as having loyalty and faithfullness towards my partner. But her values seem to be different or the values she liked to adopt. And its not anything to do with culture. Its all about man-women relationship and its sacredness to ones own heart. The fact that she so easily broke off everytime she got angry says that she does not hold the union and relationship to the high standards that I hold. For her its just an ego boost or just another kiss with some stranger on the mouth.
Well its not like that for me.
Good lesson learnt, next time there is someone who is showing any sick behavior like that, just cut them off and move away.
Well she will either become someone who will just go around the world changing boyfriends every month and become a true slut like amit said or will end up marrying Amit if she is lucky to trap him. Or who knows he must be a smarter guy who will just seduce her with his words and just use her for what ever ideas he has. He atleast seems to have screwed it up big time between me and her or no, she was already setting it up to appear that way so that it will be easier to convince him or her next lover that I was an ass hole. Good for her and her Karma. cheers.
1:00pm, After noon set out to go shopping at costco, Patel grocerries and wal mart.
Funny how I just said kem-cho to a lady giving out samples at costco and she just started talking to me in gujarathi and I was just looking at her not knowing what to say.
4:00pm returned back home and noticed that there are a bunch of girls living opposite to my apartment and they were having a party... hmm would be nice to get to meet them.
New neighbor replaced the Indian from hyderabad. New guy is from Haiti. Seems to be having a bit of snobbishness about him. The french ascent even thou he is of african origin.
Wanted to cook my first salmon curry, had Bru Coffee that I brought at the Patel store, thought that it would be instant coffee, but it was not, so kind of disappointed there.
Feeling so sleepy, passed out in the couch, this time with out TV. woke up with some kind of night mare again at 2am, confused as to the day of the week, is it sunday or monday. Do i have to go to work. So far have not done any real work and its almost 2 months. april may. And I have not got paid for the 2 weeks at Satyam-apex2000.
Friday, May 21, 2010
slept like a log
Frieeedddday, May 21, 2010
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
slept like a log,,, wooo that sounded like Eva. strange that I notice that I have taken up many of her words and thoughts. Guess if we had lived together I we would probably end becoming like each other, who knows, I will end up hating TV and she will end up loving TV and we will end up having a fight for that and i will be probably walking out of the house in a huff.
6:30am , just got out of the wash room ,lets see how soon I can make it to work.
Make it to work in 5 mins , just 2.5miles from my parking to work parking. Get parking on the ground floor. But amazingly there was lots of traffic at 7:40am. Reached desk @ 7:50am. Next target is to make it in by 7am.
Start working on the Vaccine call center related files. to get a better handle as regards to the flow of calls. Get georges help with a few doubts.
12 noon kannan wants to do to Delaware to get some of his stuff that he left off there during the last visit. So agreed to go along with him.
Got mail from Radish regarding my pay for the 2 weeks in Newyork. so far nothing seems to have been resolved. If things come to shove, only alternative for me is to go to the labor court, I spent a ton of money traveling there and also staying in hotel, paying all out of my own pocket.
12:40 get out of work to go to Delaware (neighboring state) to the costco there with Kannan.
Have the famous hotdog and drink for $1.50. Kannan has cheese pizza slice as he does not eat beef. I am not a big pizza guy, as I end up with stomach issues.
Initially went there to just give Kannan comany, then ended up buying 4 bottles of Alcohol. Jonnnywalker, Hennesy, Chilean wine and Smirnoff Vodka. And Delaware state does not have state taxes. Thats nice if the stuff I need to buy is more than $200 or if I am travelling in that direction.
Get back to work around 4:30 to attend the training.
6:30 get back home droping Rajshekar who live a bit off the street (1 mile).
Have the mutton curry that I got last sunday from Narayans house. Assembled my blender. Still need to do the unpacking of about 50% stuff. That maybe stuff I might not need immediately.
Wonder what would have happened if Evi was here. I would have just let her decorate and take care of the interior design and layout of the house as she fancies. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
slept like a log,,, wooo that sounded like Eva. strange that I notice that I have taken up many of her words and thoughts. Guess if we had lived together I we would probably end becoming like each other, who knows, I will end up hating TV and she will end up loving TV and we will end up having a fight for that and i will be probably walking out of the house in a huff.
6:30am , just got out of the wash room ,lets see how soon I can make it to work.
Make it to work in 5 mins , just 2.5miles from my parking to work parking. Get parking on the ground floor. But amazingly there was lots of traffic at 7:40am. Reached desk @ 7:50am. Next target is to make it in by 7am.
Start working on the Vaccine call center related files. to get a better handle as regards to the flow of calls. Get georges help with a few doubts.
12 noon kannan wants to do to Delaware to get some of his stuff that he left off there during the last visit. So agreed to go along with him.
Got mail from Radish regarding my pay for the 2 weeks in Newyork. so far nothing seems to have been resolved. If things come to shove, only alternative for me is to go to the labor court, I spent a ton of money traveling there and also staying in hotel, paying all out of my own pocket.
12:40 get out of work to go to Delaware (neighboring state) to the costco there with Kannan.
Have the famous hotdog and drink for $1.50. Kannan has cheese pizza slice as he does not eat beef. I am not a big pizza guy, as I end up with stomach issues.
Initially went there to just give Kannan comany, then ended up buying 4 bottles of Alcohol. Jonnnywalker, Hennesy, Chilean wine and Smirnoff Vodka. And Delaware state does not have state taxes. Thats nice if the stuff I need to buy is more than $200 or if I am travelling in that direction.
Get back to work around 4:30 to attend the training.
6:30 get back home droping Rajshekar who live a bit off the street (1 mile).
Have the mutton curry that I got last sunday from Narayans house. Assembled my blender. Still need to do the unpacking of about 50% stuff. That maybe stuff I might not need immediately.
Wonder what would have happened if Evi was here. I would have just let her decorate and take care of the interior design and layout of the house as she fancies. :)
Thursday, May 20, 2010
lazy start of day
Thuurssssday, May 20, 2010
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Woke up 6:30 thought that I would be able to get to work early with my car. But it is happening the opposite way.
After late night of wild Salsa dancing and getting high of compliments. and scary getting lost aroud 3am in downtown philly with no gas in the car. Made it back and just dropped into my luxury bed. Thanks to the GPS on my iPhone.
Dragging myself to the wash and then to work. :)(
Reach work around 10am, no break fast , stomach grumbling, parking on the 6th floor of the parking building. my first time at work doing that.
meet tiwari on my way down. he is another person from my university but not my college.
Start with reply to the dumb mail from the manager in India. he replied with keywords about CTI to a question asking him for the current model and documentation I would need for doing the same for this client and using his own existing resources.
If he going to behave like a idiot then god help in getting the project from here.
11am back to priyas mail about the requirement they are looking for and trying to understand the wider scope and technicalities involved for the requirement.
People here are already planning about the long weekend on May31. some going to niagrah, some to New york. I just don't feel like going anywhere. Wish that E was here and then maybe I would have been motivated to plane something into the wilderness.
Narayan seems to be intersted in trying something. maybe will talk to him now.
11:45 went home driving for lunch/breakfast. That is very convinent. now I even save money not eating in the cafeteria. I should try to cook eary and then take it to work for lunch. instead of doing up and down trips.
tried to meditate and relax after having lunch that narayans wife and given us during the weekend and had herbal tea (which again reminds me of eva as i never used that before). She is still in me, with me and everywhere and in everything I seem to be doing.
Fell asleep mediating and woke up around 1:pm and reached work around 1:20pm.
heart is beating like crazy for lack of sleep.
4:30 meeting training and 7 back home sweet home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Woke up 6:30 thought that I would be able to get to work early with my car. But it is happening the opposite way.
After late night of wild Salsa dancing and getting high of compliments. and scary getting lost aroud 3am in downtown philly with no gas in the car. Made it back and just dropped into my luxury bed. Thanks to the GPS on my iPhone.
Dragging myself to the wash and then to work. :)(
Reach work around 10am, no break fast , stomach grumbling, parking on the 6th floor of the parking building. my first time at work doing that.
meet tiwari on my way down. he is another person from my university but not my college.
Start with reply to the dumb mail from the manager in India. he replied with keywords about CTI to a question asking him for the current model and documentation I would need for doing the same for this client and using his own existing resources.
If he going to behave like a idiot then god help in getting the project from here.
11am back to priyas mail about the requirement they are looking for and trying to understand the wider scope and technicalities involved for the requirement.
People here are already planning about the long weekend on May31. some going to niagrah, some to New york. I just don't feel like going anywhere. Wish that E was here and then maybe I would have been motivated to plane something into the wilderness.
Narayan seems to be intersted in trying something. maybe will talk to him now.
11:45 went home driving for lunch/breakfast. That is very convinent. now I even save money not eating in the cafeteria. I should try to cook eary and then take it to work for lunch. instead of doing up and down trips.
tried to meditate and relax after having lunch that narayans wife and given us during the weekend and had herbal tea (which again reminds me of eva as i never used that before). She is still in me, with me and everywhere and in everything I seem to be doing.
Fell asleep mediating and woke up around 1:pm and reached work around 1:20pm.
heart is beating like crazy for lack of sleep.
4:30 meeting training and 7 back home sweet home.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Hopefully last day of shuttle
Wedding day Wednesday, May 19, 2010
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Went to sleep early and kept waking up early. Atlast 8 hrs sleep. Don`t remember the last time I went to sleep like that.
Got to rush out already 6:30am. meetings, delivery of house hold , car.... will be a action filled day. maybe go out salsa dancing tonite. hehehe.. and make my presence in Philly. got to join up a group, that looked active on the internet atleast. With indian gal salsa dancing.. will be interesting to see that, As I hardly got to meet any Indian girl in Vancouver salsa.
Almost of week of not even able to see anything on Evas Facebook . After she deleted and blocked me for what ever reasons of Anger and resentment she seems to have built up. But that seems to be acting in a good way for me. Now thats less of her I will be thinking and been concerned about.
She did not even have the courtesy to reply to my mail asking her about the check from the Tax dept i sent to her address. And like a fool i sent it by registered post paying 14 dollars when I could have just mailed to her by regular.
Guess she just was trying to maintain a friendly attitude till she got her check and then decided, I have no further use of this guy, so lets cut him off from Facebook. Cool, thats another side of hers that I got to see.
Why do I always get the feeling that women just come to use men. And then when men do that, they are very bad. But every women thinks its her right to abuse men and then paint them as bad people when her wishes are not met.
Reminds me of the chat with guiermo, even he was saying women are strange like that, so use them before they use you.
Well who knew that just the Madhya-ma-ranju would cause this much pain and suffering. Even with ideal 9 out of 10 star compatibility. Maybe thats why we met and connected so well. almost perfect.
And maybe thats why mom said that the first 3 to 4 astrologers refused to compare our astrological charts.
But I was of the opinion that she would have it in her , the will to work and accomplishing. Like the way she climbed cypress with me. Or maybe she gave up, because she really loves someone else. Or maybe she is only motivated to climb and hike and not really capable of using that attitude in real life situations.
Atleast i tried and tried. And she made me crawl and I crawled by putting my ego aside.
That I think is the end. Atleast I have the satisfaction of having tried and lost and rather not have the guilty conscious of not having tried. It told me a lot about my own character of willing to work at making relationship work. Maybe its because of my Indian upbringing and attitude. That I found was true. Because on sunday I realised that most Indians are unconsciously trained by their parents. And the girls are constantly reminded to behave good to make good husbands and trained to behave and act in a way that makes them ideal wifes. And guys are trained to Not drink and smoke and to be faithful to their wifes and to work hard to provide for the family.
Something I guess Eva missed out as her parents were always away and her mom was hardly even there for her, when her period started. ahh I feel so much for her pain and lack of proper guidance from her mother during her crucial formative years. Guess its a great learning experience for me to learn what happens to kids when their parents are not there to give them guidance. And I am sure Eva will continue to the same to her kids. Which is something I would not want for our kids.
7:30 at the shuttle stop, get chatting with the guy from Philly, about work and other places and comparing Canada and US work and efficiency.
12:00 finish off with all the meetings and call up jeff, who seems to be already there at my apartment. Ask Murali for a ride and he gives me.
reach home and meet the driver from Winnipeg. Jeff. Very friendly man, who did all the carrying up of my stuff.
Only that they broke one of my lamps. yet to find my blender. only got to unpack a few essential boxes.
then around 2:30 go to get my car. noticed that the handle to open the hood is broken. Damaged. arrrgghhh. make a note of that and sign the docs.
So far everything seems to be in order.
3:30 help the driver go drop off the shuttle truck he came in and gave him a ride back from the shuttle rental to his trailer truck.
Went over to Mc donalds and had a burger for my lunch and my own way of celebrating the arrival of my lifes closest and dearest, now that I am single and no one else is closer and dearer to me than my own personal stuff. :). Sticking by me thru thick and thin.
4:00pm back to work with my CAR and parking. Saw george on his way out.
4:30 again training and
5:45 Raj asks me if I can going home. Told him that I can and then dropped him off at his apt.
6pm get home and start un-packing.. woooo.
put the bedsheets and pillow into the washer.. and then the dryer.. so convenient . Ahh to luxury.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Went to sleep early and kept waking up early. Atlast 8 hrs sleep. Don`t remember the last time I went to sleep like that.
Got to rush out already 6:30am. meetings, delivery of house hold , car.... will be a action filled day. maybe go out salsa dancing tonite. hehehe.. and make my presence in Philly. got to join up a group, that looked active on the internet atleast. With indian gal salsa dancing.. will be interesting to see that, As I hardly got to meet any Indian girl in Vancouver salsa.
Almost of week of not even able to see anything on Evas Facebook . After she deleted and blocked me for what ever reasons of Anger and resentment she seems to have built up. But that seems to be acting in a good way for me. Now thats less of her I will be thinking and been concerned about.
She did not even have the courtesy to reply to my mail asking her about the check from the Tax dept i sent to her address. And like a fool i sent it by registered post paying 14 dollars when I could have just mailed to her by regular.
Guess she just was trying to maintain a friendly attitude till she got her check and then decided, I have no further use of this guy, so lets cut him off from Facebook. Cool, thats another side of hers that I got to see.
Why do I always get the feeling that women just come to use men. And then when men do that, they are very bad. But every women thinks its her right to abuse men and then paint them as bad people when her wishes are not met.
Reminds me of the chat with guiermo, even he was saying women are strange like that, so use them before they use you.
Well who knew that just the Madhya-ma-ranju would cause this much pain and suffering. Even with ideal 9 out of 10 star compatibility. Maybe thats why we met and connected so well. almost perfect.
And maybe thats why mom said that the first 3 to 4 astrologers refused to compare our astrological charts.
But I was of the opinion that she would have it in her , the will to work and accomplishing. Like the way she climbed cypress with me. Or maybe she gave up, because she really loves someone else. Or maybe she is only motivated to climb and hike and not really capable of using that attitude in real life situations.
Atleast i tried and tried. And she made me crawl and I crawled by putting my ego aside.
That I think is the end. Atleast I have the satisfaction of having tried and lost and rather not have the guilty conscious of not having tried. It told me a lot about my own character of willing to work at making relationship work. Maybe its because of my Indian upbringing and attitude. That I found was true. Because on sunday I realised that most Indians are unconsciously trained by their parents. And the girls are constantly reminded to behave good to make good husbands and trained to behave and act in a way that makes them ideal wifes. And guys are trained to Not drink and smoke and to be faithful to their wifes and to work hard to provide for the family.
Something I guess Eva missed out as her parents were always away and her mom was hardly even there for her, when her period started. ahh I feel so much for her pain and lack of proper guidance from her mother during her crucial formative years. Guess its a great learning experience for me to learn what happens to kids when their parents are not there to give them guidance. And I am sure Eva will continue to the same to her kids. Which is something I would not want for our kids.
7:30 at the shuttle stop, get chatting with the guy from Philly, about work and other places and comparing Canada and US work and efficiency.
12:00 finish off with all the meetings and call up jeff, who seems to be already there at my apartment. Ask Murali for a ride and he gives me.
reach home and meet the driver from Winnipeg. Jeff. Very friendly man, who did all the carrying up of my stuff.
Only that they broke one of my lamps. yet to find my blender. only got to unpack a few essential boxes.
then around 2:30 go to get my car. noticed that the handle to open the hood is broken. Damaged. arrrgghhh. make a note of that and sign the docs.
So far everything seems to be in order.
3:30 help the driver go drop off the shuttle truck he came in and gave him a ride back from the shuttle rental to his trailer truck.
Went over to Mc donalds and had a burger for my lunch and my own way of celebrating the arrival of my lifes closest and dearest, now that I am single and no one else is closer and dearer to me than my own personal stuff. :). Sticking by me thru thick and thin.
4:00pm back to work with my CAR and parking. Saw george on his way out.
4:30 again training and
5:45 Raj asks me if I can going home. Told him that I can and then dropped him off at his apt.
6pm get home and start un-packing.. woooo.
put the bedsheets and pillow into the washer.. and then the dryer.. so convenient . Ahh to luxury.
9:30 start towards downtown Philly for some salsa. got lost again when entering highway 76 and went the wrong direction. used the GPS on the iphone to get back.
10:30 reach downtown philly almost on empty tank. have to find a place to fill up , but the first requirement is for finding a place to park. Luckily after 10pm its free parking.
get in with $5 cover. Enter to a fully packed Wendnesday night at Brasil. no place to walk too, how are they going dance with this crowd. Seems there is a theme party of all "white" dress going on. So many people came in all white.
Start by watching the level of dancers. got a good dancer to start off and was flattered by the way people were looking at me dance. Hope it does not get to my ego. Then a couple of people who were very new found it challengling to dance with them. One quite in the middle and the other continued with a smile, that is the attitude I like of "NOT QUITING". There is always going to be some kind of difficulty, but we can decide to over come it by facing it or run away from it.
Then had one of my best merengue with a cute Italian looking girl. She was a bit chubby, but followed so easily and it was helping me make new moves. This is what I probably need in my life partner too, someone who can help making living easy and compliments rather than causing and creating issues and obstructions.
Partner dancing shows and teaches so much about how a relationship and attitude of people will be in a relationship.
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