Jul16, friday, weekend salsa

Fri, jul16th 2010
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Woke up on the couch around 2am did not feel like going to the Broom. heard the microwave beeping with the food that I had tried to heat up around 10pm at night.

Was feeling too tired to even go switch that off.

Whats happening, am I coming down with some kind of virus or is it plain laziness.

Got to work by 7am just about beating one train gate, got stuck at the 2nd. Yet made it to work station by 7. 1st to log on to the call .was talking with kris about the stone walling by the avya team of mat and tony.
Had got a meeting invite by joe F to map out the CTI on Sangets instruction. Got to see what that is all about at 9:30.

Cit seems to have not made big progress in its profit announcement along with BankAmerica . Golman seems to be doing well with its settlement yesterday with Sec.

11: drive RajD and his wife to Khols for shopping and he said he has made arrangements to get back.

12: tried to call up eva from home, the ph seems to be ringing but not picking up, hoping that things are fine with her, its about 9:30 india time. will try again in a few mins to see that things are well with her, as per last talk, she should be in Varnasi and ready to go back to Ahmadabad.

12:30called her no up again, no response.
Back to work.
joe arranged a meeting with Tony and matt for Dev and Moc issues. 3:30pm

Talked with Anil for sometime. Then got call from Malin who was back home from work, to plan out the evening as she said she needed some sleep before been able to salsa.
So asked her to call me after 6.

Then tried calling up Eva again around 1pm , 10:30am her time, again no response. Wondering if she is on the train or if she just turned down the ringer volume or not picking up delibrately.

Got msg from tar about been fine for sat salsa.

Will try one last time now 11:45 ist. to see if e is not is some kind of trouble. Again no response.

Got back home around 7pm got a couple of calls from Mali. :)

Was wondering if the purity of love and its innocence is lost.
Something that is so pure and delicate,
like the wings of a butter fly,
Something that feels painful even to think of getting the slightest damage.

Is e deliberately not picking up the phone?
is there some other reason?
or is all her sweet innocence and been a sincere person gone
Hardened by the climate and lifes tempering.


Emotionally I am so low on self esteem now, I feel that I may fall for any gal been even a little nice with.
And if its someone wanting to take advantage of me, she could easily manipulate my emotional state.

Guess thats one of the reasons I am getting scared to go out salsa dancing with Mali or tara.

And not even in a strong state of mind to say no. just scared at one end and not wanting to loose the purity and sincerity of my love, want to cherish those feelings towards one special person for ever with all its pure sincerity.

What will happen is something the days will reveal.