Lazy sunday day of Mourning

Sunday, April 25, 2010

woke up late, called up home talked with parents. And then Anil to wish H-Bday.

Got to know that Chandrika aechi passed away in a very tragic way. She was my mom's, dad's younger brother's, wife.
my Grandfathers sister in law.
She was a very wonderful women, always with a heart warming smile. Looked so young for her age. Was widowed at a very young age too.
People from west will be wondering how come you keep in touch with a relation thats so far off. Well thats how family in India is defined. Its not the nuclear, self-centered group of 3 to 4 people. People who do not care for each other after a certain time in life. people who seem to get so caught up and busy with their own work, party or celebrations or holiday mood and not bother about the others in the family or make an effort to reach out.

Anyways around 12 go to the office of the apt and meet Cathy to tell her about the carpet in the bed room having hairs of some pet. And also clarify about the free rent month of May.

its raining slightly outside, feels like vancouver a bit.

Need to go out for a walk...

Went for a 2 hr long walk thru the empty streets of downtown Lansdale. It felt like a ghost town. But I had my merengue, cumbia and salsa songs to keep me company. And a few music from Evas collection.
The only person I met was a cop, who greeted me. Well these are the few pleasures of a small place.

Walked around thinking and contemplating the happenings of the past few months of my life, rather the last one year. How things fell into place and circumstances led from one thing to another. How deeply I fell in love. To the extend of wanting to move to another country and looking for job there.

Thou now I only want good for her, the feeling of betrayal and been betrayed is all I am able to associate her to.
The feelings do come back in waves, but just taking the attitude of forgiveness and not holding any resentment is helping me over come the unhappiness and helping me smile with my heart. The continuous process is of trying to sustain it. Might take sometime.

Did she and does she do this without even realizing in what I perceive to be her growing up with low parental supervision and guidance?

No I idea, how someone can be so sweet and nice one moment and then suddenly turn out to be this angry evil monster. Is this what many people in the past say, women,,, no ones understood them ever.
Even women do not understand why they do certain things. Atleast some are honest to admit it.

got home and cooked rice. But did not feel like eating it. Was feeling tired and ended up going to sleep in the sleeping bag.

woke up around 1 and put the cooked rice into the fridge.