What does God think?
The Bible is God’s Guide Book. To determine if each is "marriage material," both partners should evaluate themselves, and each other, in the light of scripture.
Ladies
o According to the Word of God, the future husband should be a good provider. He should "tend and keep the garden" (Genesis 2:15) as the first husband did. A young man should have a stable job and a history of managing his money well, to insure financial security for his future bride.
o Jesus later emulated Adam’s obvious servant leadership when, for example he partook in footwashing with his disciples. Christ’s example is the basis for the instruction given to husbands: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her." (Ephesians 5:25) Certainly, this leaves no room for abuse or tyranny directed toward a wife. Girls, pay close attention to how your young man presides over younger siblings, children, and pets because that is a good indication of how he will govern you!
Men
o Scripture also tells us that the future wife should be a "a helpmeet" (Genesis 2:18), a comforter (Genesis 24:67), and an encourager (Proverbs 31:26). Clearly, a wife should be committed to the calling that God has placed on her husband. She should be submissive to his servant leadership, and she should be willing to make their home a place of refuge and encouragement. Guys, carefully observe how your young lady reacts to the instructions of her parents, pastor or employer, for that is how she will respond to your headship!
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This goes well with the theory of mine related to Salsa dancing. When two people are compatible, they can dance for ever. The man leading and the women following the lead. After countless experiences and having talked with a very wide variety of dancers and comparing notes about the different partners they have danced. Salsa dancing (or any other partner dancing) is the fastest way to know if you are compatible with each other.
One of the common experiences among the men has been the ease of leading Japanese gals during social dancing, even thou they are raw beginners. So in other words, even your socio-cultural upbringing seems to play a role.
I find it particularly difficult to lead most western women.
There were few that I was able to lead effortlessly. And the ones who I was able to lead easily, I often found out that they were closer to their mothers.
Does that mean that women who grew up with closer ties with their moms are better Mates ? I think 'maybe so'. More because they get to watch and learn from a experienced person the way to be good partners and mates.
Also observed that its usually the gals who have been spoilt by their dads that end up as mean, selfish, self-serving partners and make life miserable for their men. In turn leading to troubled marital life.
Also interesting has been the remark from one of my aunts, told me to go for a gal who is from a larger family and to avoid single kids or gals who is the only daughter in the family. The idea been that the gal from such background would have been molded into the attitude of and learnt to live as a team, she would know NOT to put her desires and greed above others and learnt one of the most important ingredient for the success of a relationship "Compromise".
Individuality maybe good to some extend. But breeds more of a selfish attitude, great for personal achievements. Not a great ingredient for a successful relationship.
My mom has a tendency towards wanting a gal who is low in EGO. That she says is essential to balance the HUGE EGO in men, having raise two men and lived with one, her thoughts seem to hold well.
And then when it comes to wisdom of some of my uncles, the shallow ones just seem to be interested in saying "Go for the hot and pretty one". If not anything you can have something to send your imagination running wild and don't have to look far. And then as per them, all women do is try and control, no matter from which part of the world they are in. Its always hyped up by the women themselves that they are victims, but in reality they are the ones who are very well equipped (mentally and physically) to hypnotize the men with their looks and pampering the mens EGOs and getting what they want.
Ask any good manager, they are usually people who have managed to learn the art of managing EGO's. And women are naturally born with it, from having a womb to giving birth to raising the new born into Adult hood.
I tired of all dis-trust and dis-honesty that the gals I meet are invoking in me. Guess I have not had the fortune of meeting the right one thus far. So its best to stick to just go have fun and then move on with no commitment.
All the gals seem to think is that by not revealing or talking everything that matters to the other person is equal to honesty. They think that not telling is equal to not lying.
Well to me its lying if for example someone has some Venereal disease and does not reveal that before having unprotected sex. Would they be okay if someone has AIDS and has un-protected sex with them????? The person with the disease could go, you did not ask so I did not tell.
To me its the moral obligation of the people involved to let the other person know anything and everything, as it might impact them or their values and give them the right of choice. And if after that they make a decision that is something I would consider Right.
Also goes with the fact that its just the right thing to do, if one is seeing of dating someone else and not keep someone else in the blind. As one friend said, it sucks to be the last person to know from the one person who is supposed to be the first to tell you. And its just unfair to be tortured with and left wondering with a hundred thousand questions running thru your head. And if someone is doing that torturing and not been prepared to answer the questions and doubts, then its time to move or start preparing for the inevitable.... the total break up. Just wish that the other was honest about it.
The signs are always there.
From been too busy to communicate,
Not been open and forthcoming with information.
Vauge talk about subjects that just needs simple clarification.
Needing 100,000 questions to clarify little things.
To asking you to spend more time with your friends. No one who is in love would prefer their loved one to spend time with their friends over their love. That is a sure sign of that person is distancing you from them selves.
to be continued........ feel free to put in your 2 cents.
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