Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Oct 09 2012, no mans land

Tuesday, Oct 09 2012

Again finding myself , wel-fed, rested, entertained and in no particular hurry to reach or go anywhere.
Directionless, or at peace or at a uncertain phase .

No objective other than the hope of getting on to a project and work on been productive and contributing to the betterment of society.

Had got dressed and all ready to go meditating and salsa dancing. But about 4 miles into the drive and seeing the clutter of traffic and the drizzle in COLD weather acted as a catalyst to make me turn around.
Went to Wal mrt and brought couple of warm shirts , lime and a box of cut fruit box meldy.

Was going thru facebook of a Friends Friend and noticed that the person had gone down the west coast in sep 2009, around the same time I had gone. Its funny to see all these people end up coming back and getting married. Looks like mine was the only trip that was ended up screwed.
Well now as I look back, I was just the driver for a self centered princess, who expected me to be her servant and handy man. Atleast I got to know sooner. :)

Good learning exp on understanding and studying human selfishness.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Oct 08 2012 Monday, start of new week

Monday, Oct 08 2012

start of new week

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Oct 07 2012 , Lazy sunday

Sunday, Oct 07 2012


Salsa night out on Friday, 4hrs sleep and then on Saturday followed by 10 hrs intense (for me) hiking and 12hrs of sleep :)))) ,,, Good morning to Lazy Sundays :)

Had some very awakening conversation with Nar regarding family, behavior, self awareness and improving self.

Was around 3 pm when I got out and went to cost co. 

Wow was really tired after the hike around green lane resv. 

Watched the Broncos play the Pats. interesting game.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Oct 05 2012 Some good news

Friday Oct 05 2012

Some good news with the call from bos, felt a ray of hope after that. The hopeless feeling was crushing me and my positivity.

So sent out the resume..

then got call from nar and had a uplifting conversation with him.

was thinking about my inclination to speculate, seems to be in my DNA, going by the profession of my Grand dad.
Should that be the one that I should be taking up, seems to be well suited except that my speculation is getting over ridden by greedy hopes and screwing up my covering time or selling timing.

Again seem to add to the theory of natural gratification and attraction to speculative professions.

So now the question for today, should I go out to downtown for dancing? have not been there for more than five months,, still thinking of the great time I had last time I went there on the weekend. That was too great a day.


Thursday, October 4, 2012

Oct 04 2012 Life mates

Thursday Oct 4


hmm nothing much happening.. except trying to wake up from listening to the US pres debate yesterday. Romney seems to be on the attack on a sleep and trired looking Obama. Something I was afraid that would happen.
If that continues,, gone is Obama and in comes Rom.

gloomy weather outside. stuck watching cnbc and the stock market. nothing much happening there either other than that I lost most of my earning again over all.

lousy sick feeling. awww well life. wonder whats the meaning of all this and what is it going to lead to.

like all I want to have a loving family that I can provide for and take care of. But with not much hope in careeer and earning to look forward to, it looks like a hopeless situation. Don't even feel like going out and looking for a mate. Rather filled with self doubt and end up building blocks and chasing potential mates away.

The salsa music at pax was just great today, but sad1y not many to dance, ended up dancing with a couple. It felt good and in fact felt great. Wish they could get the same DJ again.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Oct 03 2012 Washing day

Wednesday, Oct 03 2012

Day of washing, woke up trying to motivate my self into looking forward to a beautiful day and waking up with a smile, even thou the mind was drifting towards all the other issues and problems thats happening in the family, with parents and my own personal job front.

its about afternoon now and so far seems to be ok. 
just got the washed cloths into the dryer and tried using SIRI to set up a reminder..
Created Reminders using SIRI,,, "Dry Cloths" - reminder created --> "Break notes" ;)

hehahaha... thats funny

debating to call raj and bos to check on the job status,, but had called up yesterday and left msgs....

This time around I seem to be taking the issue lightly, some kind of intution about it. But not been able to put my finger on it. Not even sure if its positive or negative.

And not able to motivate myself into focusing on studying a particular subject that I could try to navigate my career on.

So much confusion regarding the future of technology and with my current skills that seems to be going out of market....ahhhhh frustration.

got to see whats in store for the presidential debate of US today.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Oct 02 2012 Tuesday, New month

Tuesday, Oct 02 2012,

Rainy day. but still feeling bouyant. trying not to think of things happening back with parents there. Who seem to be living in the world of kings and zamindars. Dad still has not learnt to talk with people past the time  his dad used to have lots of servants and treated them with not much respect.

Respect for other human beings and creatures is the core for every human being. Taking people for granted was the norm of the time, duing the days of kings and land lords, who just thrived on the fear and slavery and never really did any real work.

3pm Called up raj and bos regarding job opening,, ended up leaving voice msg for both.

cooked salmon curry atlast for the first time (maybe) this year. yummyyyy

Monday Oct  1  2012

Early morning got a Fedex.. turns out that my pass sent out for renewal to the canadian office came back because they noticed a shadow behind my head in the photo.

dang,,, another $hundred down the drain to resend.

Atleast the walgreens was very customer friendly and did not charge me for the photo taken again. Even thou I wanted to pay for it as a matter of taking accountability for my failure to have raised the issue at that time and letting it slide thru.
It was totally my fault. So I should pay for it..

Accountability, accountability, accountability,,,,, that is what I need to face, accept and pay for, for my thoughts, choices, actions and reactions :)))))


Well atleast ended up sending the package again to canada thru fedex.. funny , that thou the weight was the same,, fedex charged me a few cents more thiis time. wonder whats their criteria for fee calculations?


Sunday Sep 30 2012

Went out hiking with the group after such a long time. It was nice to see Den again... she is remarkably sweet. Felt like there was some kind of under current going on between us, eyes meeting, darting, smiliing on the sly, trying to joke about something trival,,,, but not happening smoothy, with the strange tension of shyness on both sides.

Felt like huggin her.

Was impressed how she was brave enough to chase the snake away, while I ran the opposite direction. seems she had a snake for pet. wow , effects of having hippy parents. But more than that was her impressive phd.