Apr 21 2012 Saturday

Saturday, Apr 21 2012

Again another sad day after talking with parents.
Not sure how to make my dad happy. well again again he has proved that I am not worthy and he is fixated on my kid brother, who does not even care to make a call home.

What am I supposed to do.

ITs like a lost cause and yet here I am going back into the same old pattern of been the good son and trying to get them to be happy ... and when I call up all my mom says is. is it a.... my kid brother,,, its like they are always waiting for him to call. And as always ,,, no one cares about me.

Guess I am just destined to be the one no one cares about and foolish me keeps going out of my way trying to get people to like me.

Fk them all.

I have to keep reminding myself to just not care about the rest of the world and just to care about my own self..... thats the easiest and toughest part, I am just not the uncaring and selfish person, like many pampered  single kid. single male or single female in the family. Selfish and self centered to the core.

Again mom was talking about some call she got from a lady whos daughter did her phd and is now working in the gulf. seems to have told mom that they could get me a job in the gulf along with her.  yea ,,,hmmmm. need to ponder.

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Also realized that I am a sucker for nerdy gals. Fall easily for them.
Given my current emotional conditions, I could easily fall for any gal who would be even a bit nice nice and caring to me.
Almost fell flat for the neuro genious from Frans va at tango. must be fate that took her away on a trip or going by the kind and caring and encouraging way she was partnering up with me while learning and taking blame even for my goof ups and encouraging me thru, said tons about her.... hmmm wish I had someone like that permantly in my life who cared like that...... 
well I can hope and dream. thats for sure for free and no one can steal that from me as long as I have a working brain.

Wonder when she will be back

Apr 20 2012,, Weekend could not have come sooner

Friday, Apr 20 2012

At last a weekend that I do not have any plans and don't feel like going out for salsa dancing....
There does not seem to be any tango either that I can bravely go for. wish that french gal caro could have been here , then atleast could have bravely stepped out with her or practiced with her.

Should I go for a run or go have a Vodka martini.

Apr 19,, interviewing fake people

Thursday, Apr 19

6:30 pm interviewed a guy telephonically, suspect not to be the person who applied or was the candidate.

Apr 18, to Tango or not to

Wednesday, Apr 18

was all focused on completing the test script when i get the mail to conduct 3 interviews.

wanted to go for the classes in tango. to continue my new hobby. so sent out msg to caro to see if she would be able to motivate me. But ,,,,, did not get much swing from her and ended up getting a msg of been away for 10 days. lets see how it goes after that. maybe next week.

Apr 17 2012...

Tuesday, Apr 17 2012

reached work around 8 and had subway for lunch.

was thinking of caro and wondering whats up.
my reply to her must have got her thinking or she has other options... hate it when people don't reply back in time.

well if its ment to happen it will. but was surprised to get the mail from sha suggesting we get together and practice sometime..... hmmmm

Apr 16 2012, taxes

Monday Apr 16 2012..

On a Tango high......
wanted to go out dancing again in the evening.. but decided to get home...
and got two invitations to partner up and practice tango....
the french connection, carol is so sweet. but she wants to go for the intermediate stage.. and i should bh eoing for the adv beginner classes next thou.

well lets see what she has to say.
Feeling flattered and confused.... wow a neuro doctor. wow must be a really brilliant person. And I am a sucker for nerdy gals. :) easily falls in love head over heals.
hmmmm life happens as its ment to happen.

April 15 2012,,,, Tango on a rainny day

Sunday, April 15 2012

Intense Tango day 2.... and boy oh boy,,, the french connection was awesome with cor. I was hoping to ask her number and before I could she asked me for my email... hmmmmm
just sad that she is going west for a few days.. hopefully we can catch up after that and join up for classes together.