Wednesday, Mar 28 2012
feel charged with Energy,, lets see how the day goes by,, it was great reading loudly the book by dale carnige.. can't believe its been years that I had this book and only readying here and there based on random selection of chapters or pages...
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Mar 26 2012, meditation and salsa
Monday, MAr 26 2012
reached work around 8:45 got out by 5 15 and was at the meditation by 6:30.. interesting subject of discussion;. about happiness and how to keep a tab and control on our generic urge to feel happy at the loss that someone suffer,, especially the freaky kind of happiness one feels at the loss suffered by someone who hurt us.
It was great dancing the salsa and bachata after such a long time.. and what a night it was... great crowd, of super hot gals.. like the doors of heaven just opened up and rained hoties .
reached work around 8:45 got out by 5 15 and was at the meditation by 6:30.. interesting subject of discussion;. about happiness and how to keep a tab and control on our generic urge to feel happy at the loss that someone suffer,, especially the freaky kind of happiness one feels at the loss suffered by someone who hurt us.
It was great dancing the salsa and bachata after such a long time.. and what a night it was... great crowd, of super hot gals.. like the doors of heaven just opened up and rained hoties .
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Mar 25 2012, Latin culture based on deception in mariage
Sunday, Mar 25 2012
Was looking at some of the latin related comments and relating it to the latin culture that I got to experience and come across during my interactions.
There seems to be a deep level of conservative inclination in the way of life, very religious, seems to be very deeply involved in religions festivals and other community acitvity.
But when it comes to maintaining matrimonial alliance , maintaining loyalty and been faithful to ones partners..... Its considered something of a low level part of character.
In fact people are more encouraged to have affairs after marrying and guys are encouraged to have a girlfriend on the side.
When asked, what if their wifes have affairs (which they seem to do), some laugh off and say, "as long as I don't know about it, I am fine."
Interesting, how they have accepted that and rather like to live a life that is FAKE and maintain the show of family, love, honesty, loyalty ,,,, when deep down they just behave like animals.
No wonder, me and Jas thought that sure the spanish gals are just very sexy in appearence and would interest us only in matter of sex and not a group that we would consider for a long term married life and family.
Still think of the gal in madrid when dancing salsa, who was rubbing herself all over me and telling "you are the man, ...." Then I get to know that she is there with her boyfriend. Because as soon as he came in she kind of pulled away a bit from me. Did not feel like going in between them. Not a good thing to do that. It would be like stealing some elses dreams.
And during the course of the night, there was a situation where they both got into a fight because she danced with another guy and he walked away after hitting her on the shoulder. And I did see her sitting in the corner and talking on the phone. easy pick when one is emotionally down or had just got out dumped or got out of an affair. most gals just fall for the next guy who gives her his shoulder..... (another thing for me to always look out for, how long they have been single.... need to be more than 6 months atleast, other wise it will be another rebound relation after another that they always seem to get into, the never ending parade of relationships of the fake and foolish)
No not for me. The thing that intrigues me is, she looked like a nerd and a very intelligent gal, who among the few spanish people who was able to speak intelligently. my weakness for intelligent nerdy gals who can hold a conversation, unlike the dumb ones who make we want to run away.
Again back to the deception and lack of loyalty in relationship that seems to be MAN thing to do for the latin men, (as women would not come out with their stories for fear of been branded a bitch).
Even in the salsa scene, many latin men just come out to hunt for the foolish eastern european women who are looking in their own ways to match their fantasies of a latin lover. But little do they realize that the stories are far from reality of the mens fantasies,,,, hehehe cause most of these men are just looking for a quick fuck or a random booty call to fulfill they quest for quick fuck. For which they would go out of their way to serenade the idiotically foolish women. Mostly see eastern european and japanese gals in Salsa clubs fall for these guys and then latter end up crying and bitching about how they were cheated, how they latter got to know that the guy has had multiple partners and then some of the gals got threatened by the guys wifes.. .. so much of drama.
Suddenly reminded of one of the guy in salsa, vit du, who eva dated. hehehe, it was fun watching him running about the polish hall trying to seduce one eastern european gal after another. The gals who knew about his desperation just asked him to get lost, but that despot would never back off. Kept going after yet another new gal. I hope I never become that cheap and desparate. eva was not the only one, there was kim, rutie, tamar and a few otherss.. ahh ha, not go forget how he was trying a smooth line on gia. She not been that foolish did not fall for his lines, or alteast from what she told me. unlike what kim, rutie and tamar told me. And to see that eva had these type of taste in men was a revaltion from others. Well she was always on the fence when it came to honesty, wanting to be honest, but yet again like her mom, she just was not honest and loyal. More leaning towards a life of fake deception and thinking that she could get away with lying and playing games. Games,,, that was what love was to her. Still shocked that she said I was not playing a good game....
Well just wish her the best and send out good vibrations for her and hopefully she will mature into a better person with stronger character.
Its also funny, all these gals who I thought were nice and nerdy, were all involved with these guys, were hit on by the likes of vit dur, then the nutty palestin guy nidl, and a few of the smooth talking persian guys in the salsa crowd,, all these guys were there just to score. And in the end all these gals gravitated towards me, lucky I got to know about the other gals association with these crazy bastards before I got any closer, except for eva, who I ended up with as I did not know what had happened during my time away from Van and living in winter peg.
Glad to see rut, and kim now in a committed relationship , maturing up and sticking to their guys thru thick and thin. And very glad I did not get into deep relationship with these gals when they were rebounding from their earlier foolish adventrues.
But it does say a thing about me, that I was getting attracted to gals who seem to be come off after been dumped. And in my foolishness assuming that they may be looking like me for long term relationships, when they might have been after been burnt on the short term one, at that time.
Guess I was and am a strange attraction for people who incline towards long term, but deep down they are not ready for the long term at that time. I make them feel special and great about them selves and suddenly they start thinking that hmmmmm I am special, I deserve much more, why spend my life away with this guy..... and there they go,, again on the witch hunt from short term after another... just like tamar, joha and eva.
cheeers to their life and them discovering or rather coming out of that cycle and not keep repeating the same mistakes of going for short term. Which will only happen if they can back off from the cycle, for an year or more and be able to analyze their behavior latter. Its just not possible to take a look at our own behavior when we are deeply there in the pond. only after we get out of it on to the shore will we be able to take an analytical approach and try to work on stopping our urge and instinct to be sucked into a particular direction.
I am so glad that this time in Philly and dalls has given me enough time to improve on my instincts and proud that I was able to resist the urge to get drawn and drowned in the same cycle of attraction. So glad I was able to refuse the temptation and proud to have not lowered my character.
Which in turn made me wonder today about the latin guys and their constantly been revolving in the same circle of behavior and karma. It takes getting out of it to realise that . or we are doomed to be repeating the same mistakes.
Afternoon, head off to costco..... the best part was the lovely , reaching out smile from a baby who was in a cart and been pushed by the dad. she just looked at me , her face lit up like she recognized an old best friend and smiled wide.... okay that could be written off as some kind of freak happening, baby must be thinking of something else..... okay after a few more mins of walking around our paths cross again in an alise... she had the nipple sucker in her mouth.. was passing by the cart she was in and again our eyes met... she removed the nipple sucker from her mouth and gave me a huge smile and that baby did not have even a tooth..... wooooow.. my heart is touched and feel blessed. Babies know a pure soul when they see one and they reach out like they know someone who is like them... .pure and true .... I am smiling from ear to ear thinking about that sweet , sincere, pure smile toothless, lovely smile.. .hehehe...
Was looking at some of the latin related comments and relating it to the latin culture that I got to experience and come across during my interactions.
There seems to be a deep level of conservative inclination in the way of life, very religious, seems to be very deeply involved in religions festivals and other community acitvity.
But when it comes to maintaining matrimonial alliance , maintaining loyalty and been faithful to ones partners..... Its considered something of a low level part of character.
In fact people are more encouraged to have affairs after marrying and guys are encouraged to have a girlfriend on the side.
When asked, what if their wifes have affairs (which they seem to do), some laugh off and say, "as long as I don't know about it, I am fine."
Interesting, how they have accepted that and rather like to live a life that is FAKE and maintain the show of family, love, honesty, loyalty ,,,, when deep down they just behave like animals.
No wonder, me and Jas thought that sure the spanish gals are just very sexy in appearence and would interest us only in matter of sex and not a group that we would consider for a long term married life and family.
Still think of the gal in madrid when dancing salsa, who was rubbing herself all over me and telling "you are the man, ...." Then I get to know that she is there with her boyfriend. Because as soon as he came in she kind of pulled away a bit from me. Did not feel like going in between them. Not a good thing to do that. It would be like stealing some elses dreams.
And during the course of the night, there was a situation where they both got into a fight because she danced with another guy and he walked away after hitting her on the shoulder. And I did see her sitting in the corner and talking on the phone. easy pick when one is emotionally down or had just got out dumped or got out of an affair. most gals just fall for the next guy who gives her his shoulder..... (another thing for me to always look out for, how long they have been single.... need to be more than 6 months atleast, other wise it will be another rebound relation after another that they always seem to get into, the never ending parade of relationships of the fake and foolish)
No not for me. The thing that intrigues me is, she looked like a nerd and a very intelligent gal, who among the few spanish people who was able to speak intelligently. my weakness for intelligent nerdy gals who can hold a conversation, unlike the dumb ones who make we want to run away.
Again back to the deception and lack of loyalty in relationship that seems to be MAN thing to do for the latin men, (as women would not come out with their stories for fear of been branded a bitch).
Even in the salsa scene, many latin men just come out to hunt for the foolish eastern european women who are looking in their own ways to match their fantasies of a latin lover. But little do they realize that the stories are far from reality of the mens fantasies,,,, hehehe cause most of these men are just looking for a quick fuck or a random booty call to fulfill they quest for quick fuck. For which they would go out of their way to serenade the idiotically foolish women. Mostly see eastern european and japanese gals in Salsa clubs fall for these guys and then latter end up crying and bitching about how they were cheated, how they latter got to know that the guy has had multiple partners and then some of the gals got threatened by the guys wifes.. .. so much of drama.
Suddenly reminded of one of the guy in salsa, vit du, who eva dated. hehehe, it was fun watching him running about the polish hall trying to seduce one eastern european gal after another. The gals who knew about his desperation just asked him to get lost, but that despot would never back off. Kept going after yet another new gal. I hope I never become that cheap and desparate. eva was not the only one, there was kim, rutie, tamar and a few otherss.. ahh ha, not go forget how he was trying a smooth line on gia. She not been that foolish did not fall for his lines, or alteast from what she told me. unlike what kim, rutie and tamar told me. And to see that eva had these type of taste in men was a revaltion from others. Well she was always on the fence when it came to honesty, wanting to be honest, but yet again like her mom, she just was not honest and loyal. More leaning towards a life of fake deception and thinking that she could get away with lying and playing games. Games,,, that was what love was to her. Still shocked that she said I was not playing a good game....
Well just wish her the best and send out good vibrations for her and hopefully she will mature into a better person with stronger character.
Its also funny, all these gals who I thought were nice and nerdy, were all involved with these guys, were hit on by the likes of vit dur, then the nutty palestin guy nidl, and a few of the smooth talking persian guys in the salsa crowd,, all these guys were there just to score. And in the end all these gals gravitated towards me, lucky I got to know about the other gals association with these crazy bastards before I got any closer, except for eva, who I ended up with as I did not know what had happened during my time away from Van and living in winter peg.
Glad to see rut, and kim now in a committed relationship , maturing up and sticking to their guys thru thick and thin. And very glad I did not get into deep relationship with these gals when they were rebounding from their earlier foolish adventrues.
But it does say a thing about me, that I was getting attracted to gals who seem to be come off after been dumped. And in my foolishness assuming that they may be looking like me for long term relationships, when they might have been after been burnt on the short term one, at that time.
Guess I was and am a strange attraction for people who incline towards long term, but deep down they are not ready for the long term at that time. I make them feel special and great about them selves and suddenly they start thinking that hmmmmm I am special, I deserve much more, why spend my life away with this guy..... and there they go,, again on the witch hunt from short term after another... just like tamar, joha and eva.
cheeers to their life and them discovering or rather coming out of that cycle and not keep repeating the same mistakes of going for short term. Which will only happen if they can back off from the cycle, for an year or more and be able to analyze their behavior latter. Its just not possible to take a look at our own behavior when we are deeply there in the pond. only after we get out of it on to the shore will we be able to take an analytical approach and try to work on stopping our urge and instinct to be sucked into a particular direction.
I am so glad that this time in Philly and dalls has given me enough time to improve on my instincts and proud that I was able to resist the urge to get drawn and drowned in the same cycle of attraction. So glad I was able to refuse the temptation and proud to have not lowered my character.
Which in turn made me wonder today about the latin guys and their constantly been revolving in the same circle of behavior and karma. It takes getting out of it to realise that . or we are doomed to be repeating the same mistakes.
Afternoon, head off to costco..... the best part was the lovely , reaching out smile from a baby who was in a cart and been pushed by the dad. she just looked at me , her face lit up like she recognized an old best friend and smiled wide.... okay that could be written off as some kind of freak happening, baby must be thinking of something else..... okay after a few more mins of walking around our paths cross again in an alise... she had the nipple sucker in her mouth.. was passing by the cart she was in and again our eyes met... she removed the nipple sucker from her mouth and gave me a huge smile and that baby did not have even a tooth..... wooooow.. my heart is touched and feel blessed. Babies know a pure soul when they see one and they reach out like they know someone who is like them... .pure and true .... I am smiling from ear to ear thinking about that sweet , sincere, pure smile toothless, lovely smile.. .hehehe...
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Mar 24 2012, SAT day of household work
Saturday, Mar 24 2012
Woke up slowly out of bed by around 10 ,,,,, slowly and lazly and got cooking on the ginger tea... yumm.
then called up home and listened to the complaints from parents about how hot it is there for the summer,, could not help by laugh at their complaining about 32 deg C temp and with all the greenry around. Well guess its a very human nature to complain when suddenly, well not suddenly , but when ever put in situations that would be different from their ideal comfort zone.
But nature itself is not like that, it is always changing and swining into extremes in pockets of the world. One could use that to spread the Fear psychosis of doom and calamity or just take it in stride and ride it out , like riding out a storm.
Same with life, in the end we all are going to die and perish. its just that our ego of immortality and been extra special compared to other living creatures or assumption of everlasting immortality been our speciality makes us do and want things , we can easily live without having.
Woke up slowly out of bed by around 10 ,,,,, slowly and lazly and got cooking on the ginger tea... yumm.
then called up home and listened to the complaints from parents about how hot it is there for the summer,, could not help by laugh at their complaining about 32 deg C temp and with all the greenry around. Well guess its a very human nature to complain when suddenly, well not suddenly , but when ever put in situations that would be different from their ideal comfort zone.
But nature itself is not like that, it is always changing and swining into extremes in pockets of the world. One could use that to spread the Fear psychosis of doom and calamity or just take it in stride and ride it out , like riding out a storm.
Same with life, in the end we all are going to die and perish. its just that our ego of immortality and been extra special compared to other living creatures or assumption of everlasting immortality been our speciality makes us do and want things , we can easily live without having.
Mar 23 2012 , the day just breezes by
Friday, Mar 23 2012
It was funny how I got to work with the resulution of getting things done and started of working on the elearning and got couple of courses done and then instead of 1 hr it took around 3 hrs to complete and when I started of on the other part of getting the scripts and cases ,,,, got interrupted and after that was not able to get back on track... got lost in coversations.
it was night talking with raj bal. atleast we have a common enemy to be carefull about. the crooked lady ush... damm what a chatter box piece of mouth and too boot it with has a very crooked attitude and mentality. just hope that rav does not get too carried away with her stories.
It was funny how I got to work with the resulution of getting things done and started of working on the elearning and got couple of courses done and then instead of 1 hr it took around 3 hrs to complete and when I started of on the other part of getting the scripts and cases ,,,, got interrupted and after that was not able to get back on track... got lost in coversations.
it was night talking with raj bal. atleast we have a common enemy to be carefull about. the crooked lady ush... damm what a chatter box piece of mouth and too boot it with has a very crooked attitude and mentality. just hope that rav does not get too carried away with her stories.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Mar 22 2012.. leading the stutus meeting,, Phew!
Thursday, Mar 22 2012,
leading the stutus meeting was a huge hurdle in personally over coming my fears and trying to keep my thoughts and wits together.
thou not the best of performance , it was not the worst from me either......
have to get more confident about my own abilites and work on improving my persentation skills, over come my shyness and stop been scared of public attention.
Wonder how it came naturally to Eva and others to be seeking the center of attention and rather been able to thrive in it, unlike me who thrived in my own cocoun and world and collapsed personally when all eyes are on me.
leading the stutus meeting was a huge hurdle in personally over coming my fears and trying to keep my thoughts and wits together.
thou not the best of performance , it was not the worst from me either......
have to get more confident about my own abilites and work on improving my persentation skills, over come my shyness and stop been scared of public attention.
Wonder how it came naturally to Eva and others to be seeking the center of attention and rather been able to thrive in it, unlike me who thrived in my own cocoun and world and collapsed personally when all eyes are on me.
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