Wednesday Nov 03 2010
The skyline outside looks invitingly beautiful, signs of another wonderful day. Felt sick yesterday by evening and hence passed out on the couch. woke up around 2 and went to bed. So ended up skipping dinner that I had put to heat up in the microwave. Only realized that in the morning. Well will have the meat curry with rice for todays lunch.... turned out too spicy for my un-challenged stomach. So watering it down to make it mildly spicy.
Got to wrk by 8:20am,, sliding down with the sun rise happening around 7am. well feels much better than the rainny gloomy Vancouver weather for sure with briht skies. Not liking having to scrub off the layer of ice on the wind shield of my car every morning.
Hope I get to a warmer place after this in 2 months.
Did the test on T5 for dt...
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Nov 2, low motivation
Tuesday, Nov 02 2010 (11-02-2010)
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Another days of 2s, 1s and 0s. not much motivated to go to work. hmmmm lets see got a couple of test to run. send out emails. and thats it.
maybe try to get some PMP done... ahhhhh that feels good. Purpose in life is a good driving factor.
Tested for dt code good. sent out msg. now need to do the Sop , funny how people seem to be more into twisting things than following standards. Well atleast I am not going to be here for long..... wishing the days would go faster and then I would be out of this place. Keeping fingers crossed with hopes of getting job in Dallas..... it would be awesome there with ani.
back to work after curd-rice lunch.
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Another days of 2s, 1s and 0s. not much motivated to go to work. hmmmm lets see got a couple of test to run. send out emails. and thats it.
maybe try to get some PMP done... ahhhhh that feels good. Purpose in life is a good driving factor.
Tested for dt code good. sent out msg. now need to do the Sop , funny how people seem to be more into twisting things than following standards. Well atleast I am not going to be here for long..... wishing the days would go faster and then I would be out of this place. Keeping fingers crossed with hopes of getting job in Dallas..... it would be awesome there with ani.
back to work after curd-rice lunch.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Nov 1, 60 days to new year
Monday 1st of Nov 2010
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Start of week, month... got some tough meetings up today. Its like everyone seems to have invited everyone for the meeting I set up. Ahhh I hate to be in the middle of the stage. Stage fright has been my greatest weakness. Afraid of attention. Afraid that something bad will happen and always to me.
Other people seem so at ease and seem to want attention more and more. But not me. I just shy away from it. But don't mind loving attention from one person at a time. But that does not seem to happen too often as I wish. :) hehehe lifes sweet twist and turns.
off to work.
Was thinking about k who I saw yesterday on the hike. She seems to have such a sincere and honest looking face. And also a wall around her. Felt like reaching out to her and was wondering how it would be to be in love with someone like that. Seems to be very educated with a degree or a masters from the mid-west.
Next time gonna ask her out and see how it goes. Just that I don't get to meet her frequently.
was thinking about Sara too, but looks like she does not feel the same intensity as i do.
Feeling much good and better about myself after getting to the root cause of the problem that was troubing the Mok application. With all the fingers getting pointed towards the code I developed. It feels good to know that the issues or root cause of the issues is else where.
Thanks to the extra effort that i had to put in over the weekend screwing up all my fun and enjoyment. But the feeling I am feeling now with discovering the root cause and knowing the solution if a particular requirement needs to be met. Makes me feel much better about myself. And I am sure the bosses feel the same about me and my week end efforts. Feels nice to be unselfishily appreciated and made to feel good by people.
If only some other people who I so foolishly fell for and was hoping that they would realize how their Overly selfish actions was hurting me felt even a bit of the same gratitude towards the care and sacrifice I made to constantly make them happy..... But again they are who they are and I am who I am, and the lesson learnt is that I should have listened to my instincts when I first saw their self-centered attitude and JUST WALKED AWAY.
And its not worth all the effort, pain, constant Stress, heart break, been taken for granted and kicked around as thou nothing about me and my thoughts, my feelings mattered. Even if the feeling of love was overwhelming.
Its just not worth the effort to try to communicate with someone who has a closed mind about their own actions and self. That is I am too perfect to be corrected. And I don't want to analyze my past actions..... Some people just go bull dozing into the future without trying to learn from their past.
The sad part is, it takes some time and getting to see some of their behavior and a few attempts before we can convince ourself that its a lost cause And most of all that its not our fault that they are who they are.
Euphoric feeling after having got to the root cause of the issue and knowing that its got nothing to do with my code.
And other feather with after organizing the meeting between all the screwed up political game players in the company..... wish and hope i do not have to do those kind of things again and keep away from such people.
back home around 6:30 called up venkat to see if he is there. left msg.
trying to decide if I should go to my fav salsa place on monday. or with the sub zero temp today, should I just stay home as most of the people in Philly have had been to the salsa festival that was happening during the weekend and must be resting it out.,,,?????
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Start of week, month... got some tough meetings up today. Its like everyone seems to have invited everyone for the meeting I set up. Ahhh I hate to be in the middle of the stage. Stage fright has been my greatest weakness. Afraid of attention. Afraid that something bad will happen and always to me.
Other people seem so at ease and seem to want attention more and more. But not me. I just shy away from it. But don't mind loving attention from one person at a time. But that does not seem to happen too often as I wish. :) hehehe lifes sweet twist and turns.
off to work.
Was thinking about k who I saw yesterday on the hike. She seems to have such a sincere and honest looking face. And also a wall around her. Felt like reaching out to her and was wondering how it would be to be in love with someone like that. Seems to be very educated with a degree or a masters from the mid-west.
Next time gonna ask her out and see how it goes. Just that I don't get to meet her frequently.
was thinking about Sara too, but looks like she does not feel the same intensity as i do.
Feeling much good and better about myself after getting to the root cause of the problem that was troubing the Mok application. With all the fingers getting pointed towards the code I developed. It feels good to know that the issues or root cause of the issues is else where.
Thanks to the extra effort that i had to put in over the weekend screwing up all my fun and enjoyment. But the feeling I am feeling now with discovering the root cause and knowing the solution if a particular requirement needs to be met. Makes me feel much better about myself. And I am sure the bosses feel the same about me and my week end efforts. Feels nice to be unselfishily appreciated and made to feel good by people.
If only some other people who I so foolishly fell for and was hoping that they would realize how their Overly selfish actions was hurting me felt even a bit of the same gratitude towards the care and sacrifice I made to constantly make them happy..... But again they are who they are and I am who I am, and the lesson learnt is that I should have listened to my instincts when I first saw their self-centered attitude and JUST WALKED AWAY.
And its not worth all the effort, pain, constant Stress, heart break, been taken for granted and kicked around as thou nothing about me and my thoughts, my feelings mattered. Even if the feeling of love was overwhelming.
Its just not worth the effort to try to communicate with someone who has a closed mind about their own actions and self. That is I am too perfect to be corrected. And I don't want to analyze my past actions..... Some people just go bull dozing into the future without trying to learn from their past.
The sad part is, it takes some time and getting to see some of their behavior and a few attempts before we can convince ourself that its a lost cause And most of all that its not our fault that they are who they are.
Euphoric feeling after having got to the root cause of the issue and knowing that its got nothing to do with my code.
And other feather with after organizing the meeting between all the screwed up political game players in the company..... wish and hope i do not have to do those kind of things again and keep away from such people.
back home around 6:30 called up venkat to see if he is there. left msg.
trying to decide if I should go to my fav salsa place on monday. or with the sub zero temp today, should I just stay home as most of the people in Philly have had been to the salsa festival that was happening during the weekend and must be resting it out.,,,?????
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Oct 31 Fun Day Sunday
Sunday OCt 31 2010
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End of another month, 2 more months and this heart breaking and enlightening year comes to an end.
The year I tired to make so many compromises, but god of the universe decided other wise. Maybe for the better. Maybe I will look back and thank god and the universe for all the un-answered prayers. :)
Anyways heading for a hike into Valley Forge National Park. Thats another off the To-Do list :)
Get cracking and moving.
Got to connect with RajDanny on Facebook after 4 years. Thats another nice thing. Always end up connecting with him when its time to go to India.
=================
End of another month, 2 more months and this heart breaking and enlightening year comes to an end.
The year I tired to make so many compromises, but god of the universe decided other wise. Maybe for the better. Maybe I will look back and thank god and the universe for all the un-answered prayers. :)
Anyways heading for a hike into Valley Forge National Park. Thats another off the To-Do list :)
Get cracking and moving.
Got to connect with RajDanny on Facebook after 4 years. Thats another nice thing. Always end up connecting with him when its time to go to India.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Oct 30 2010 end of month
Saturday Oct 30 2010
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Last day of the month..
woke up debating to go for a hike or not. as its in the same neighbor hood that I have been so many times. well just decided to go and get some physical movement.
Sundays hike is going to be at Valley forge, thats the one I wanted to go.
Posted the rent for Nov. Its going to be 7 months mid of nov. and in 2 more months it will be time for me to move.
liked the apt, but not the location.
Went to the office to see if the moc mcs behaved the same way on a incoming call. and it turns out that they do. So its got to do something with the machine setting.
Sent out a mail to joe and snagi.
Got home and was chatting with anil and mentioned the strange behavior to him looked into the regedit after searching on google. Seems to be offering a solution, remains to be seen tomrrow .
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Last day of the month..
woke up debating to go for a hike or not. as its in the same neighbor hood that I have been so many times. well just decided to go and get some physical movement.
Sundays hike is going to be at Valley forge, thats the one I wanted to go.
Posted the rent for Nov. Its going to be 7 months mid of nov. and in 2 more months it will be time for me to move.
liked the apt, but not the location.
Went to the office to see if the moc mcs behaved the same way on a incoming call. and it turns out that they do. So its got to do something with the machine setting.
Sent out a mail to joe and snagi.
Got home and was chatting with anil and mentioned the strange behavior to him looked into the regedit after searching on google. Seems to be offering a solution, remains to be seen tomrrow .
Friday, October 29, 2010
Oct 29 2010, Time for new JOB
Friday Oct 29 2010
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After talk with Aji yesterday, got to know that I will not b with the client past Jan. So its time to look for a new job.
Kind of mixed feelings, was feeling useless with not much happening in terms of work here or potential work. That way felt any new job could give me a better feeling of having contributed to the world and my own self worth
But now with the uncertainty of the economy and then the scope for openings in my particular specialty, its scary too. MIXED feeling
------------------
After talk with Aji yesterday, got to know that I will not b with the client past Jan. So its time to look for a new job.
Kind of mixed feelings, was feeling useless with not much happening in terms of work here or potential work. That way felt any new job could give me a better feeling of having contributed to the world and my own self worth
But now with the uncertainty of the economy and then the scope for openings in my particular specialty, its scary too. MIXED feeling
Thursday, October 28, 2010
OCt 28, Cuba calling
Thursday Oct 28 2010
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It was really strange how Mei and me are connecting. I sent her a msg yesterday on FB and she sends me a msg on yahoo from Cuba.
internet there costs about 20 dollars per hour. Must be the costiliest internet service. Anyways hope to call her when during the weekend.
Chakir and the others in vancouver are going to cuba last week of Nov. Wish I could have gone with them. But thats the time when the project is going live. Well I stil do have that place to visit, in my list of places to visit.
need to get more details from Mei soon. she has a return ticket for mid of nov thou.
It was so strange way to meet her in Lisboa , dance salsa with her to the music played by a Slovakian guy. Then next day to run into each other in the heart of Madrid. Coincidence just like they show happening in movies.
These series of coincidence was what got me closer to Evil last year. Well its nature doing its work to help me learn and to do what I am supposed to do, experience, learn and make an effort to become a better person.
lets see how things work out.
Getting a lil impatient here at work with, not able to learn anything new or enough cooperation from the Avaya team who seem to more interested in playing some kind of mischief.
Just draggin along to save up some cash for the rainy day.
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It was really strange how Mei and me are connecting. I sent her a msg yesterday on FB and she sends me a msg on yahoo from Cuba.
internet there costs about 20 dollars per hour. Must be the costiliest internet service. Anyways hope to call her when during the weekend.
Chakir and the others in vancouver are going to cuba last week of Nov. Wish I could have gone with them. But thats the time when the project is going live. Well I stil do have that place to visit, in my list of places to visit.
need to get more details from Mei soon. she has a return ticket for mid of nov thou.
It was so strange way to meet her in Lisboa , dance salsa with her to the music played by a Slovakian guy. Then next day to run into each other in the heart of Madrid. Coincidence just like they show happening in movies.
These series of coincidence was what got me closer to Evil last year. Well its nature doing its work to help me learn and to do what I am supposed to do, experience, learn and make an effort to become a better person.
lets see how things work out.
Getting a lil impatient here at work with, not able to learn anything new or enough cooperation from the Avaya team who seem to more interested in playing some kind of mischief.
Just draggin along to save up some cash for the rainy day.
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