Wednesday, 21 Jul 2010
//////////////////////
Just past mid night into the new start of another day. Strange the new day starts always in darkness. Man sleeps thru the dark part and tries to wake up at sunrise and starts the day with a ahhh new day, new sun. But in fact the day went thru a very dark phase before it got lit up by the sunlight. Its like we all live the initial part of our life in the darkness of our ignorance and then suddenly wake up to the bright sunlight like happiness of life. And then during the course of the day, go thru a series of ups and downs and depending on how we are feeling towards the end of the day, we either want the day to last for ever or to end as soon as possible. Paradox of life that seem to swing in the glowing brightness of life.
ne ways heading to bed now.
wake up by 5 and out of bed by 5:30am. reach work by 6:50am. as I skipped making coffee / tea.
the conf call was very brief, from 7:10 to 7:25am. And kris asked if I could drop him off at JFK airport on Aug 7th for his trip to India.
he needs to be there by 8am and so we need to start off from lansdale by 5:30am. Maybe after that I will head over to narayans place or the temple. Been a long time since I have been to the temple. Malini said her parents are going off by Aug14.
Called up eva after the conf call and chatted for about an hr. Seems to be down with problems of stomach again. Nice to know her point of view about her trip to India. She finds Ahmadabad cleaner than the other parts of india she visited. Wonder what she will think of gods own country kerala.
8:50 get to the mechanic shop, a new guy is sitting there and did not know anything about the test and inspection I was promised yesterday by the guy Al.
He wanted me to leave the car at the shop, I said I need the car. Said will give me a call.
10am to 11am team meeting. voiced my concern about the dev set up for cti.
Went home for lunch @12 and was back by 1.
Mat invited me for conducting some CTI test for DTC new scripts@3:30 went on till 5pm. got out around 6pm.
In between the guys were still harassing kris and it felt more sick that they were continuing on the same old subject and it felt like these sick guys were still stuck in 7th grade.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Jul 20th Tuesday, got to send out the presentation
Tuesday Jul 20th 2010
=====================
Woke up as usual around 5am. Good practice of habit now.
but lay there thinking about the day ahead and the modification I need to make to the call flow presentation and the examples I can put in.
Wonder if E made it safely to Gujju land.
Wil call her after the conf call to check.
Got to work by 6:50am and saw the mail from kris that todays meeting has been canceled. good thing. 8:10am finished up the .ppt for call flow and sent it to Joe for review.
8:20 (5:50pm IST) called up Eva and got to know that she reached safely in the morning. she Said was busy with friends and that we can talk tomorrow.
Well atleast glad to know that she has made it back to Ahmadabad safely.
Series of mails to and fro regarding needing another layout of the vaccine call center.
neways have meeting with George to know about it around 2pm
11:30 go to the mechanic shop to get the quote for the hood latch of my car that got tampered with during the move to US.
As I was already there, got the oil change done too. wanted to get the PA state emmision and check done. Got appointment for it to be done tomorrow. Thats going to be tricky as I remember Sang my mechanic in Vancity saying that I need to have the motors running for atleast 15 mins before the inspection.
2 to 3 have a very informative secession with George in the war room. Then go down to the stable where the other guys seem to be still harassing kris and teasing him. Was feeling really pissed off at the same school boy behavior from married men with kids. And when mohan tried to get me involved, thinking that my been silent was an invitation for him to start poking fun at me. Turned around and told him not to get my name involved.
Guess that serious tone was enough to break the party up. The laughter that they were having at the expense of Kris stopped.
Sick shits.
Got the srf from server and tried to run it on as the local and found that the asso cont button was active here, then why is it not getting active on the server??
When heading home kris wanted me to come call him up around 8pm to talk about the button. Told him I may not call and have other things to do.
Went looking for the honda show room near cowpath for another quote for the latch, seems to have been closed and moved to new location.
Got home around 7pm was feeling hungry and just passed out. Had wanted to go out running and do some work out.
Woke up around 9: and then cooked some rice and had it with yogurt and ginger pickle.
logged on to check the assoc cont button and then when I was not able to log on to the server realised that there was a shut down happening that george had sent a mail in the morning about. :(
Watched the episode of the Bachelorette on the web and felt for ali and the emotions she seems to have gone thru, and when she said "it always happens to me and I wonder if I am not good enough" I felt the raw pain that I am always hiding and trying to over come. Betrayal of honor and loyalty gone to dogs.
Well thats life, as the old man who owns the mechanic shop told me when I was waiting for the oil change. He is living with cancer of the lungs and had an operation. And his daughter is going thru cancer treatment the past 4 years.
We just have to learn to deal with it. Life always throws its surprises when we least expect it.
That again brings me back to, why, what is this all leading to?
=====================
Woke up as usual around 5am. Good practice of habit now.
but lay there thinking about the day ahead and the modification I need to make to the call flow presentation and the examples I can put in.
Wonder if E made it safely to Gujju land.
Wil call her after the conf call to check.
Got to work by 6:50am and saw the mail from kris that todays meeting has been canceled. good thing. 8:10am finished up the .ppt for call flow and sent it to Joe for review.
8:20 (5:50pm IST) called up Eva and got to know that she reached safely in the morning. she Said was busy with friends and that we can talk tomorrow.
Well atleast glad to know that she has made it back to Ahmadabad safely.
Series of mails to and fro regarding needing another layout of the vaccine call center.
neways have meeting with George to know about it around 2pm
11:30 go to the mechanic shop to get the quote for the hood latch of my car that got tampered with during the move to US.
As I was already there, got the oil change done too. wanted to get the PA state emmision and check done. Got appointment for it to be done tomorrow. Thats going to be tricky as I remember Sang my mechanic in Vancity saying that I need to have the motors running for atleast 15 mins before the inspection.
2 to 3 have a very informative secession with George in the war room. Then go down to the stable where the other guys seem to be still harassing kris and teasing him. Was feeling really pissed off at the same school boy behavior from married men with kids. And when mohan tried to get me involved, thinking that my been silent was an invitation for him to start poking fun at me. Turned around and told him not to get my name involved.
Guess that serious tone was enough to break the party up. The laughter that they were having at the expense of Kris stopped.
Sick shits.
Got the srf from server and tried to run it on as the local and found that the asso cont button was active here, then why is it not getting active on the server??
When heading home kris wanted me to come call him up around 8pm to talk about the button. Told him I may not call and have other things to do.
Went looking for the honda show room near cowpath for another quote for the latch, seems to have been closed and moved to new location.
Got home around 7pm was feeling hungry and just passed out. Had wanted to go out running and do some work out.
Woke up around 9: and then cooked some rice and had it with yogurt and ginger pickle.
logged on to check the assoc cont button and then when I was not able to log on to the server realised that there was a shut down happening that george had sent a mail in the morning about. :(
Watched the episode of the Bachelorette on the web and felt for ali and the emotions she seems to have gone thru, and when she said "it always happens to me and I wonder if I am not good enough" I felt the raw pain that I am always hiding and trying to over come. Betrayal of honor and loyalty gone to dogs.
Well thats life, as the old man who owns the mechanic shop told me when I was waiting for the oil change. He is living with cancer of the lungs and had an operation. And his daughter is going thru cancer treatment the past 4 years.
We just have to learn to deal with it. Life always throws its surprises when we least expect it.
That again brings me back to, why, what is this all leading to?
Monday, July 19, 2010
Jul 19th, monday gathering info on CTI Architecture
Mon Jul 19th 2010
=================
Woke up early 5am, but was trying out some kind of mind management techniques and ended up getting out of bed by 6:10am and rushed thru to reach office by 7:05am. In time for the conf call.
New guy replacing RajD comes in from kolkata. seems to have had a hard 36 hr flight.
Had called up evi yesterday night around mid-night. she seems to have reached New Delhi and was waiting for her connecting train. Ended up calling her after seeing the head line news of Train accident in India. But the accident seems to have happend near to Kolkata. So many lives just lost for some little carelessness by some people. So many families suffering from the tragedy.
Been sitting at the desk for about 11 hrs staright and now feeling hungry. Had lunch rather Brunch around 12 at desk. Microwaved the uppma that I had cooked yesterday.
Kind of trying to put a good document together to present to joe and rob about the cti call flow.
head aeching now. need to get out.
Out of work around 6:30 after the supposed to be training from 4:30pm
Just did not have it in me to cook or go for a run. Mentally exhausted.
Went for a brief walk around 9pm with the sun setting, checked the mail box for letter, just the phone bill.
Got back home and sat on the balcony upto 10pm just looking at the stars and meditating on life.
What direction is my life going, where is it all leading to? What is the purpose of all this. Is there a higher purpose for everything that seems to be happening around me, to me?
=================
Woke up early 5am, but was trying out some kind of mind management techniques and ended up getting out of bed by 6:10am and rushed thru to reach office by 7:05am. In time for the conf call.
New guy replacing RajD comes in from kolkata. seems to have had a hard 36 hr flight.
Had called up evi yesterday night around mid-night. she seems to have reached New Delhi and was waiting for her connecting train. Ended up calling her after seeing the head line news of Train accident in India. But the accident seems to have happend near to Kolkata. So many lives just lost for some little carelessness by some people. So many families suffering from the tragedy.
Been sitting at the desk for about 11 hrs staright and now feeling hungry. Had lunch rather Brunch around 12 at desk. Microwaved the uppma that I had cooked yesterday.
Kind of trying to put a good document together to present to joe and rob about the cti call flow.
head aeching now. need to get out.
Out of work around 6:30 after the supposed to be training from 4:30pm
Just did not have it in me to cook or go for a run. Mentally exhausted.
Went for a brief walk around 9pm with the sun setting, checked the mail box for letter, just the phone bill.
Got back home and sat on the balcony upto 10pm just looking at the stars and meditating on life.
What direction is my life going, where is it all leading to? What is the purpose of all this. Is there a higher purpose for everything that seems to be happening around me, to me?
Sunday, July 18, 2010
jul 18th hiking the Peace valley
Sun, Jul 18 2010
================
Woke up early as it has now become a habit. :)
Tried calling up Eva, she picked up the second time around and was not able to hear, hear a loud squeaking sound behind her. Will have to call her latter.
by 11:30 planning on going to Tara place and then from there to peace valley. 4 hrs to kill till then, might as well start with vacuuming and cleaning up the house.
Finished vacuuming and then called up E and got her on board the train to Delhi. She left her ex-room mate who is going back home via nepal and tibet back to China.
Was not able to hear eva clearly most of the time as the people besides them were talking too loudly and I could hear them speak more clearly than eva. It sounded like a Husband and Wife talk, where the wife was saying something rather ordering and the husband was coming up with a hundered different excuses. hehehe
11:30 reached taras house, and from there the we went to Peace Valley. We rented a kayak for an hour and to my surprise I did not feel scared or any kind of anxiety. We paddled around half of the Peace valley lake. It was so peacefull and beautiful. Loved it, it was more like Deer lake in Burnaby. :)
But the water and surrounding seemed to be more well maintained than Deer lake. To top it all in the sun there was a very pleasant breeeze and wind blowing. Loved it there.
After that we went for a hike partially around the lake.
On our way back, we went and had lunch at Zoto's. cute lil place mostly suburban white folks and workers.
Got back to Taras place a bit exhausted. Got my stuff into my car and then got back home. Dropped off my new bag and then went straight to Costco to get my box of Ice cream cones. :)
Returned back home and had an urge to have a cool fruit smoothie... made one and now writing the blog sipping in the smoothie... yummmm and refreshing.
================
Woke up early as it has now become a habit. :)
Tried calling up Eva, she picked up the second time around and was not able to hear, hear a loud squeaking sound behind her. Will have to call her latter.
by 11:30 planning on going to Tara place and then from there to peace valley. 4 hrs to kill till then, might as well start with vacuuming and cleaning up the house.
Finished vacuuming and then called up E and got her on board the train to Delhi. She left her ex-room mate who is going back home via nepal and tibet back to China.
Was not able to hear eva clearly most of the time as the people besides them were talking too loudly and I could hear them speak more clearly than eva. It sounded like a Husband and Wife talk, where the wife was saying something rather ordering and the husband was coming up with a hundered different excuses. hehehe
11:30 reached taras house, and from there the we went to Peace Valley. We rented a kayak for an hour and to my surprise I did not feel scared or any kind of anxiety. We paddled around half of the Peace valley lake. It was so peacefull and beautiful. Loved it, it was more like Deer lake in Burnaby. :)
But the water and surrounding seemed to be more well maintained than Deer lake. To top it all in the sun there was a very pleasant breeeze and wind blowing. Loved it there.
After that we went for a hike partially around the lake.
On our way back, we went and had lunch at Zoto's. cute lil place mostly suburban white folks and workers.
Got back to Taras place a bit exhausted. Got my stuff into my car and then got back home. Dropped off my new bag and then went straight to Costco to get my box of Ice cream cones. :)
Returned back home and had an urge to have a cool fruit smoothie... made one and now writing the blog sipping in the smoothie... yummmm and refreshing.
jul 17th hiking and Japanese
Sar, jul 17th 2010
------------------
Called up home and talked for about 30 mins.
By 10:30am was out of the house to go hiking with the group.
While driving to the hike,
Called up Eva and she asked to call back after about 30 mins
Called up Tara and left a msg.
Reached Sidneys place around 11:15am.
parked car there and took a ride in sidneys car, $2 paid to him after reaching the start of the hike-> Chamounix Mansion.
There were about 27 people various ages and countries and back ground. nice.
On the bridge over the river watching the regatta of rowers, called up Eva, was not able to hear her properly. And some where in between the call got cut off with too much disturbance.
Around 2:30pm we reached the Japanese Horticultural center, $4 for a tour.
was too exhausted by 5.pm
Talked with Anil V for sometime. then got a msg from tara saying will call back in 1hr.
Tara called and we made plans to go to Peace Valley tomorow the sunday, as she hikes there. Wanted to try out rowing the kayak too. Lets see. :)
was too exhausted and passed out.
------------------
Called up home and talked for about 30 mins.
By 10:30am was out of the house to go hiking with the group.
While driving to the hike,
Called up Eva and she asked to call back after about 30 mins
Called up Tara and left a msg.
Reached Sidneys place around 11:15am.
parked car there and took a ride in sidneys car, $2 paid to him after reaching the start of the hike-> Chamounix Mansion.
There were about 27 people various ages and countries and back ground. nice.
On the bridge over the river watching the regatta of rowers, called up Eva, was not able to hear her properly. And some where in between the call got cut off with too much disturbance.
Around 2:30pm we reached the Japanese Horticultural center, $4 for a tour.
was too exhausted by 5.pm
Talked with Anil V for sometime. then got a msg from tara saying will call back in 1hr.
Tara called and we made plans to go to Peace Valley tomorow the sunday, as she hikes there. Wanted to try out rowing the kayak too. Lets see. :)
was too exhausted and passed out.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Jul16, friday, weekend salsa
Fri, jul16th 2010
-----------------
Woke up on the couch around 2am did not feel like going to the Broom. heard the microwave beeping with the food that I had tried to heat up around 10pm at night.
Was feeling too tired to even go switch that off.
Whats happening, am I coming down with some kind of virus or is it plain laziness.
Got to work by 7am just about beating one train gate, got stuck at the 2nd. Yet made it to work station by 7. 1st to log on to the call .was talking with kris about the stone walling by the avya team of mat and tony.
Had got a meeting invite by joe F to map out the CTI on Sangets instruction. Got to see what that is all about at 9:30.
Cit seems to have not made big progress in its profit announcement along with BankAmerica . Golman seems to be doing well with its settlement yesterday with Sec.
11: drive RajD and his wife to Khols for shopping and he said he has made arrangements to get back.
12: tried to call up eva from home, the ph seems to be ringing but not picking up, hoping that things are fine with her, its about 9:30 india time. will try again in a few mins to see that things are well with her, as per last talk, she should be in Varnasi and ready to go back to Ahmadabad.
12:30called her no up again, no response.
Back to work.
joe arranged a meeting with Tony and matt for Dev and Moc issues. 3:30pm
Talked with Anil for sometime. Then got call from Malin who was back home from work, to plan out the evening as she said she needed some sleep before been able to salsa.
So asked her to call me after 6.
Then tried calling up Eva again around 1pm , 10:30am her time, again no response. Wondering if she is on the train or if she just turned down the ringer volume or not picking up delibrately.
Got msg from tar about been fine for sat salsa.
Will try one last time now 11:45 ist. to see if e is not is some kind of trouble. Again no response.
Got back home around 7pm got a couple of calls from Mali. :)
Was wondering if the purity of love and its innocence is lost.
Something that is so pure and delicate,
like the wings of a butter fly,
Something that feels painful even to think of getting the slightest damage.
Is e deliberately not picking up the phone?
is there some other reason?
or is all her sweet innocence and been a sincere person gone
Hardened by the climate and lifes tempering.
Emotionally I am so low on self esteem now, I feel that I may fall for any gal been even a little nice with.
And if its someone wanting to take advantage of me, she could easily manipulate my emotional state.
Guess thats one of the reasons I am getting scared to go out salsa dancing with Mali or tara.
And not even in a strong state of mind to say no. just scared at one end and not wanting to loose the purity and sincerity of my love, want to cherish those feelings towards one special person for ever with all its pure sincerity.
What will happen is something the days will reveal.
-----------------
Woke up on the couch around 2am did not feel like going to the Broom. heard the microwave beeping with the food that I had tried to heat up around 10pm at night.
Was feeling too tired to even go switch that off.
Whats happening, am I coming down with some kind of virus or is it plain laziness.
Got to work by 7am just about beating one train gate, got stuck at the 2nd. Yet made it to work station by 7. 1st to log on to the call .was talking with kris about the stone walling by the avya team of mat and tony.
Had got a meeting invite by joe F to map out the CTI on Sangets instruction. Got to see what that is all about at 9:30.
Cit seems to have not made big progress in its profit announcement along with BankAmerica . Golman seems to be doing well with its settlement yesterday with Sec.
11: drive RajD and his wife to Khols for shopping and he said he has made arrangements to get back.
12: tried to call up eva from home, the ph seems to be ringing but not picking up, hoping that things are fine with her, its about 9:30 india time. will try again in a few mins to see that things are well with her, as per last talk, she should be in Varnasi and ready to go back to Ahmadabad.
12:30called her no up again, no response.
Back to work.
joe arranged a meeting with Tony and matt for Dev and Moc issues. 3:30pm
Talked with Anil for sometime. Then got call from Malin who was back home from work, to plan out the evening as she said she needed some sleep before been able to salsa.
So asked her to call me after 6.
Then tried calling up Eva again around 1pm , 10:30am her time, again no response. Wondering if she is on the train or if she just turned down the ringer volume or not picking up delibrately.
Got msg from tar about been fine for sat salsa.
Will try one last time now 11:45 ist. to see if e is not is some kind of trouble. Again no response.
Got back home around 7pm got a couple of calls from Mali. :)
Was wondering if the purity of love and its innocence is lost.
Something that is so pure and delicate,
like the wings of a butter fly,
Something that feels painful even to think of getting the slightest damage.
Is e deliberately not picking up the phone?
is there some other reason?
or is all her sweet innocence and been a sincere person gone
Hardened by the climate and lifes tempering.
Emotionally I am so low on self esteem now, I feel that I may fall for any gal been even a little nice with.
And if its someone wanting to take advantage of me, she could easily manipulate my emotional state.
Guess thats one of the reasons I am getting scared to go out salsa dancing with Mali or tara.
And not even in a strong state of mind to say no. just scared at one end and not wanting to loose the purity and sincerity of my love, want to cherish those feelings towards one special person for ever with all its pure sincerity.
What will happen is something the days will reveal.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Jul 15 Thu , workshop-precise
Thu, Jul 15 2010
-----------------
Had gone to sleep early, rather was been lazy, did not go for the planned run nor work out.
Wanted to get up early, thou I woke up at 5am a practice which took some time to develope, did not get out of bed till 5:45. So then had to skip the brief yoga and kick boxing work out that I had planned for 5:45 to 6:15am.
Just ended up rushing thru the actions and made it out by 6:45am to beat the train gates and into work by 6:55am.
The first in at the conf. kris and the indian team made it in intervals of 5 mins after 7:10am. Talked to kirs about the issue with mat and his british attitude of probably looking down on us dark skinned. And hence his taking liberty of raising his voice when I am trying to understand the limitations of setting up the Dev envi.
Not one of the best teams to work with if he is going to get too protective about his island.
Anyways, sent out a mail to georg s about needing more help. Atleast he included me in the mail chain that mat did not.
Change and scared of change is a common human thread. People react in different ways.
We now have the new process that seems to be coming on and not every one is open to the use of a new system for internal metrics gathering. As it requires filling up of work break down in an additional system on top of the two different time sheets that are been filled out.
10:05 am got out of work. was planning on stopping by at home on the way. But traffic did not seem to be in my favor. Just managed to reach the Residence inn of marriot by 10:25am
lunch of pasta @12noon.
4:pm out of the workshop, helped a guy start up his car as his battery was down. Then drove to Ajays apt to help start his car and drive to the mechanic as his battery was acting up as well.
Was thinking of sending an mail to malini and as soon as I logged on there was a mail from her asking about going to salsa tomorrow. Wow that is a very strange connection. She sent the msg from Arizona, guess she went hiking to the canyon with her parents.
Then got a txt msg from tara about wanting to go out if she does not get a flight to denv tomorrow.
Wow that is a nice change.
I am now in such a stage after facing all the rude behavior and been taken for granted and with my pride and self esteem so beaten up. That even the slightest gesture of kindness, even as much as a smile from a pretty girl is making me think that they are the best.
-----------------
Had gone to sleep early, rather was been lazy, did not go for the planned run nor work out.
Wanted to get up early, thou I woke up at 5am a practice which took some time to develope, did not get out of bed till 5:45. So then had to skip the brief yoga and kick boxing work out that I had planned for 5:45 to 6:15am.
Just ended up rushing thru the actions and made it out by 6:45am to beat the train gates and into work by 6:55am.
The first in at the conf. kris and the indian team made it in intervals of 5 mins after 7:10am. Talked to kirs about the issue with mat and his british attitude of probably looking down on us dark skinned. And hence his taking liberty of raising his voice when I am trying to understand the limitations of setting up the Dev envi.
Not one of the best teams to work with if he is going to get too protective about his island.
Anyways, sent out a mail to georg s about needing more help. Atleast he included me in the mail chain that mat did not.
Change and scared of change is a common human thread. People react in different ways.
We now have the new process that seems to be coming on and not every one is open to the use of a new system for internal metrics gathering. As it requires filling up of work break down in an additional system on top of the two different time sheets that are been filled out.
10:05 am got out of work. was planning on stopping by at home on the way. But traffic did not seem to be in my favor. Just managed to reach the Residence inn of marriot by 10:25am
lunch of pasta @12noon.
4:pm out of the workshop, helped a guy start up his car as his battery was down. Then drove to Ajays apt to help start his car and drive to the mechanic as his battery was acting up as well.
Was thinking of sending an mail to malini and as soon as I logged on there was a mail from her asking about going to salsa tomorrow. Wow that is a very strange connection. She sent the msg from Arizona, guess she went hiking to the canyon with her parents.
Then got a txt msg from tara about wanting to go out if she does not get a flight to denv tomorrow.
Wow that is a nice change.
I am now in such a stage after facing all the rude behavior and been taken for granted and with my pride and self esteem so beaten up. That even the slightest gesture of kindness, even as much as a smile from a pretty girl is making me think that they are the best.
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