Sar, jul 17th 2010
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Called up home and talked for about 30 mins.
By 10:30am was out of the house to go hiking with the group.
While driving to the hike,
Called up Eva and she asked to call back after about 30 mins
Called up Tara and left a msg.
Reached Sidneys place around 11:15am.
parked car there and took a ride in sidneys car, $2 paid to him after reaching the start of the hike-> Chamounix Mansion.
There were about 27 people various ages and countries and back ground. nice.
On the bridge over the river watching the regatta of rowers, called up Eva, was not able to hear her properly. And some where in between the call got cut off with too much disturbance.
Around 2:30pm we reached the Japanese Horticultural center, $4 for a tour.
was too exhausted by 5.pm
Talked with Anil V for sometime. then got a msg from tara saying will call back in 1hr.
Tara called and we made plans to go to Peace Valley tomorow the sunday, as she hikes there. Wanted to try out rowing the kayak too. Lets see. :)
was too exhausted and passed out.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Jul16, friday, weekend salsa
Fri, jul16th 2010
-----------------
Woke up on the couch around 2am did not feel like going to the Broom. heard the microwave beeping with the food that I had tried to heat up around 10pm at night.
Was feeling too tired to even go switch that off.
Whats happening, am I coming down with some kind of virus or is it plain laziness.
Got to work by 7am just about beating one train gate, got stuck at the 2nd. Yet made it to work station by 7. 1st to log on to the call .was talking with kris about the stone walling by the avya team of mat and tony.
Had got a meeting invite by joe F to map out the CTI on Sangets instruction. Got to see what that is all about at 9:30.
Cit seems to have not made big progress in its profit announcement along with BankAmerica . Golman seems to be doing well with its settlement yesterday with Sec.
11: drive RajD and his wife to Khols for shopping and he said he has made arrangements to get back.
12: tried to call up eva from home, the ph seems to be ringing but not picking up, hoping that things are fine with her, its about 9:30 india time. will try again in a few mins to see that things are well with her, as per last talk, she should be in Varnasi and ready to go back to Ahmadabad.
12:30called her no up again, no response.
Back to work.
joe arranged a meeting with Tony and matt for Dev and Moc issues. 3:30pm
Talked with Anil for sometime. Then got call from Malin who was back home from work, to plan out the evening as she said she needed some sleep before been able to salsa.
So asked her to call me after 6.
Then tried calling up Eva again around 1pm , 10:30am her time, again no response. Wondering if she is on the train or if she just turned down the ringer volume or not picking up delibrately.
Got msg from tar about been fine for sat salsa.
Will try one last time now 11:45 ist. to see if e is not is some kind of trouble. Again no response.
Got back home around 7pm got a couple of calls from Mali. :)
Was wondering if the purity of love and its innocence is lost.
Something that is so pure and delicate,
like the wings of a butter fly,
Something that feels painful even to think of getting the slightest damage.
Is e deliberately not picking up the phone?
is there some other reason?
or is all her sweet innocence and been a sincere person gone
Hardened by the climate and lifes tempering.
Emotionally I am so low on self esteem now, I feel that I may fall for any gal been even a little nice with.
And if its someone wanting to take advantage of me, she could easily manipulate my emotional state.
Guess thats one of the reasons I am getting scared to go out salsa dancing with Mali or tara.
And not even in a strong state of mind to say no. just scared at one end and not wanting to loose the purity and sincerity of my love, want to cherish those feelings towards one special person for ever with all its pure sincerity.
What will happen is something the days will reveal.
-----------------
Woke up on the couch around 2am did not feel like going to the Broom. heard the microwave beeping with the food that I had tried to heat up around 10pm at night.
Was feeling too tired to even go switch that off.
Whats happening, am I coming down with some kind of virus or is it plain laziness.
Got to work by 7am just about beating one train gate, got stuck at the 2nd. Yet made it to work station by 7. 1st to log on to the call .was talking with kris about the stone walling by the avya team of mat and tony.
Had got a meeting invite by joe F to map out the CTI on Sangets instruction. Got to see what that is all about at 9:30.
Cit seems to have not made big progress in its profit announcement along with BankAmerica . Golman seems to be doing well with its settlement yesterday with Sec.
11: drive RajD and his wife to Khols for shopping and he said he has made arrangements to get back.
12: tried to call up eva from home, the ph seems to be ringing but not picking up, hoping that things are fine with her, its about 9:30 india time. will try again in a few mins to see that things are well with her, as per last talk, she should be in Varnasi and ready to go back to Ahmadabad.
12:30called her no up again, no response.
Back to work.
joe arranged a meeting with Tony and matt for Dev and Moc issues. 3:30pm
Talked with Anil for sometime. Then got call from Malin who was back home from work, to plan out the evening as she said she needed some sleep before been able to salsa.
So asked her to call me after 6.
Then tried calling up Eva again around 1pm , 10:30am her time, again no response. Wondering if she is on the train or if she just turned down the ringer volume or not picking up delibrately.
Got msg from tar about been fine for sat salsa.
Will try one last time now 11:45 ist. to see if e is not is some kind of trouble. Again no response.
Got back home around 7pm got a couple of calls from Mali. :)
Was wondering if the purity of love and its innocence is lost.
Something that is so pure and delicate,
like the wings of a butter fly,
Something that feels painful even to think of getting the slightest damage.
Is e deliberately not picking up the phone?
is there some other reason?
or is all her sweet innocence and been a sincere person gone
Hardened by the climate and lifes tempering.
Emotionally I am so low on self esteem now, I feel that I may fall for any gal been even a little nice with.
And if its someone wanting to take advantage of me, she could easily manipulate my emotional state.
Guess thats one of the reasons I am getting scared to go out salsa dancing with Mali or tara.
And not even in a strong state of mind to say no. just scared at one end and not wanting to loose the purity and sincerity of my love, want to cherish those feelings towards one special person for ever with all its pure sincerity.
What will happen is something the days will reveal.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Jul 15 Thu , workshop-precise
Thu, Jul 15 2010
-----------------
Had gone to sleep early, rather was been lazy, did not go for the planned run nor work out.
Wanted to get up early, thou I woke up at 5am a practice which took some time to develope, did not get out of bed till 5:45. So then had to skip the brief yoga and kick boxing work out that I had planned for 5:45 to 6:15am.
Just ended up rushing thru the actions and made it out by 6:45am to beat the train gates and into work by 6:55am.
The first in at the conf. kris and the indian team made it in intervals of 5 mins after 7:10am. Talked to kirs about the issue with mat and his british attitude of probably looking down on us dark skinned. And hence his taking liberty of raising his voice when I am trying to understand the limitations of setting up the Dev envi.
Not one of the best teams to work with if he is going to get too protective about his island.
Anyways, sent out a mail to georg s about needing more help. Atleast he included me in the mail chain that mat did not.
Change and scared of change is a common human thread. People react in different ways.
We now have the new process that seems to be coming on and not every one is open to the use of a new system for internal metrics gathering. As it requires filling up of work break down in an additional system on top of the two different time sheets that are been filled out.
10:05 am got out of work. was planning on stopping by at home on the way. But traffic did not seem to be in my favor. Just managed to reach the Residence inn of marriot by 10:25am
lunch of pasta @12noon.
4:pm out of the workshop, helped a guy start up his car as his battery was down. Then drove to Ajays apt to help start his car and drive to the mechanic as his battery was acting up as well.
Was thinking of sending an mail to malini and as soon as I logged on there was a mail from her asking about going to salsa tomorrow. Wow that is a very strange connection. She sent the msg from Arizona, guess she went hiking to the canyon with her parents.
Then got a txt msg from tara about wanting to go out if she does not get a flight to denv tomorrow.
Wow that is a nice change.
I am now in such a stage after facing all the rude behavior and been taken for granted and with my pride and self esteem so beaten up. That even the slightest gesture of kindness, even as much as a smile from a pretty girl is making me think that they are the best.
-----------------
Had gone to sleep early, rather was been lazy, did not go for the planned run nor work out.
Wanted to get up early, thou I woke up at 5am a practice which took some time to develope, did not get out of bed till 5:45. So then had to skip the brief yoga and kick boxing work out that I had planned for 5:45 to 6:15am.
Just ended up rushing thru the actions and made it out by 6:45am to beat the train gates and into work by 6:55am.
The first in at the conf. kris and the indian team made it in intervals of 5 mins after 7:10am. Talked to kirs about the issue with mat and his british attitude of probably looking down on us dark skinned. And hence his taking liberty of raising his voice when I am trying to understand the limitations of setting up the Dev envi.
Not one of the best teams to work with if he is going to get too protective about his island.
Anyways, sent out a mail to georg s about needing more help. Atleast he included me in the mail chain that mat did not.
Change and scared of change is a common human thread. People react in different ways.
We now have the new process that seems to be coming on and not every one is open to the use of a new system for internal metrics gathering. As it requires filling up of work break down in an additional system on top of the two different time sheets that are been filled out.
10:05 am got out of work. was planning on stopping by at home on the way. But traffic did not seem to be in my favor. Just managed to reach the Residence inn of marriot by 10:25am
lunch of pasta @12noon.
4:pm out of the workshop, helped a guy start up his car as his battery was down. Then drove to Ajays apt to help start his car and drive to the mechanic as his battery was acting up as well.
Was thinking of sending an mail to malini and as soon as I logged on there was a mail from her asking about going to salsa tomorrow. Wow that is a very strange connection. She sent the msg from Arizona, guess she went hiking to the canyon with her parents.
Then got a txt msg from tara about wanting to go out if she does not get a flight to denv tomorrow.
Wow that is a nice change.
I am now in such a stage after facing all the rude behavior and been taken for granted and with my pride and self esteem so beaten up. That even the slightest gesture of kindness, even as much as a smile from a pretty girl is making me think that they are the best.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Jul 14th
Wednesday Jul 14th 2010
=======================
Time is 1:45am, not able to sleep, had coffee in the afternoon before going for the process orientation workshop in Delaware. Damm should have gone for a run.
Now my mind and heart are racing 100miles an hour.
All kinds of crazy thoughts. And really need to sleep if I am to wake up at 5am. thats about 3 hrs from now. grrrrr coffee.
Troubled sleep, guess I must have gone to sleep around 4, woke up at 5 and then went to sleep again to wake up at 6.
Made it to work by 7 only to find that the conf call with India was not going to happen.
Got to move the workshop that was supposed to happen today at Delware to closer to work on Thursday. So back to work on Wed.
need to start documenting and streamlining the work.
Got txt msg from Tara about salsa. which is practically non existent in my life with all the training workshops. Sent her a mail telling her about it.
4:30 training, last two classes I guess. Tomorrow is the precise workshop at the hotel from 10 to 3.
Its been raining on a off on a summer day. strange climate.
=======================
Time is 1:45am, not able to sleep, had coffee in the afternoon before going for the process orientation workshop in Delaware. Damm should have gone for a run.
Now my mind and heart are racing 100miles an hour.
All kinds of crazy thoughts. And really need to sleep if I am to wake up at 5am. thats about 3 hrs from now. grrrrr coffee.
Troubled sleep, guess I must have gone to sleep around 4, woke up at 5 and then went to sleep again to wake up at 6.
Made it to work by 7 only to find that the conf call with India was not going to happen.
Got to move the workshop that was supposed to happen today at Delware to closer to work on Thursday. So back to work on Wed.
need to start documenting and streamlining the work.
Got txt msg from Tara about salsa. which is practically non existent in my life with all the training workshops. Sent her a mail telling her about it.
4:30 training, last two classes I guess. Tomorrow is the precise workshop at the hotel from 10 to 3.
Its been raining on a off on a summer day. strange climate.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Jul 13th tue, Afternoon to Delaware
Tuesday, 13th Jul
-----------------
Nothing major seems to have happened as forecast in the astrological solar eclipse. I am still the same guy, single, not looking really. But with half an eye open.
Was thinking about the comment I got from someone,
I have also learnt a lot from you.
Was it real and sincere,
was it mocking and sarcastic
Well I can say, that if that person learnt from me what I wanted them to learn then they learnt something. And will be happy for them.
But if they just experienced something, and did not think much, did not do any logical reasoning, analytical reasoning, or has poor powers of observation, or choose to ignore the obvious hints and then choose to ignore the bigger picture that I was trying to convey. Then it is not learning.
Rather would classify it as experience they can remember but ignoring any positive content. Which means they did not really learn now.
But if they are fortunate or smart enough with better or improved powers of observation, and analytical thinking. Then maybe they will learn in the future.
Made it out of home by 6:45am and to work by 7am.
again 1st to be in the conf. call. There did not seem to be much to talk about and the call ended by 7:25am
8am called up home and again was bombraded by dad trying to brain wash me into coming to kerala and getting married. Again and again the same old dialouges and emotional black mail.
After that I called up Eva and talked to her for sometime, she seems to have reached Haridwar today morning, had some food at the Shanti ashram in the morning and having upset stomach.
She found dharmashala, kulu, manali as too touristy.
At the ashram they got blessed by someone who thought that they came in there to find themselves and so that guy blessed them with more power and other things :)
-----------------
Nothing major seems to have happened as forecast in the astrological solar eclipse. I am still the same guy, single, not looking really. But with half an eye open.
Was thinking about the comment I got from someone,
I have also learnt a lot from you.
Was it real and sincere,
was it mocking and sarcastic
Well I can say, that if that person learnt from me what I wanted them to learn then they learnt something. And will be happy for them.
But if they just experienced something, and did not think much, did not do any logical reasoning, analytical reasoning, or has poor powers of observation, or choose to ignore the obvious hints and then choose to ignore the bigger picture that I was trying to convey. Then it is not learning.
Rather would classify it as experience they can remember but ignoring any positive content. Which means they did not really learn now.
But if they are fortunate or smart enough with better or improved powers of observation, and analytical thinking. Then maybe they will learn in the future.
Made it out of home by 6:45am and to work by 7am.
again 1st to be in the conf. call. There did not seem to be much to talk about and the call ended by 7:25am
8am called up home and again was bombraded by dad trying to brain wash me into coming to kerala and getting married. Again and again the same old dialouges and emotional black mail.
After that I called up Eva and talked to her for sometime, she seems to have reached Haridwar today morning, had some food at the Shanti ashram in the morning and having upset stomach.
She found dharmashala, kulu, manali as too touristy.
At the ashram they got blessed by someone who thought that they came in there to find themselves and so that guy blessed them with more power and other things :)
Monday, July 12, 2010
Jul 12th Salsa before Delware
Mon, 12th Jul 2010
------------------------
Salsa at Vang tonite before Delware training tomorrow.
Bit of trouble waking up and getting out of bed. Kind of like my rhythm was off.
neyways ready to leave by 6:35am
Made it to work by 6:55am by beating the train/gates.
Ind team was on time by 7:am.
Kris made an announcement that Raj will no longer be able to work in US because of Visa issues. Thats a big bummer. He seems to be a guy who is very sound technically.
Called him up around 8:15am after the conf. Seems to be more a rejection cause of political policies of US than any other. Last day seems to be today and he may go back to Hyd. :(
More pressure on Kris and he is scheduled to leave for India aug 1st week, in about 4 weeks.
Life as a Indian living in US is tough with the sword of Visa rejection always hanging on top our head. Fear of losing a steady income also makes people shrink and scared to say no to unreasonable client requests.
Did not go for the BI training. As I did not see the scope in doing it today and missing out for two days due to training at delaware the next two days
Got home, called up naraya and got his voice. A few mins latter he called back and seems to be down with Cold and had not gone to work.
Was feeling too tired, again the 3 days latter effect. Went to the Bedroom for a nap and ended up getting up around 12midnight with a severe thunderstorm. Guess it was a good thing that I did not go out salsa dancing into the city.
Saw a few missed calls and voice msgs. ahhhhh
------------------------
Salsa at Vang tonite before Delware training tomorrow.
Bit of trouble waking up and getting out of bed. Kind of like my rhythm was off.
neyways ready to leave by 6:35am
Made it to work by 6:55am by beating the train/gates.
Ind team was on time by 7:am.
Kris made an announcement that Raj will no longer be able to work in US because of Visa issues. Thats a big bummer. He seems to be a guy who is very sound technically.
Called him up around 8:15am after the conf. Seems to be more a rejection cause of political policies of US than any other. Last day seems to be today and he may go back to Hyd. :(
More pressure on Kris and he is scheduled to leave for India aug 1st week, in about 4 weeks.
Life as a Indian living in US is tough with the sword of Visa rejection always hanging on top our head. Fear of losing a steady income also makes people shrink and scared to say no to unreasonable client requests.
Did not go for the BI training. As I did not see the scope in doing it today and missing out for two days due to training at delaware the next two days
Got home, called up naraya and got his voice. A few mins latter he called back and seems to be down with Cold and had not gone to work.
Was feeling too tired, again the 3 days latter effect. Went to the Bedroom for a nap and ended up getting up around 12midnight with a severe thunderstorm. Guess it was a good thing that I did not go out salsa dancing into the city.
Saw a few missed calls and voice msgs. ahhhhh
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Jul 11th New moon day/night
Sunday Jul 11 2010 New Moon
------------------------
Woke up a bit late and was lazy to pack up and move from the Days Inn in Ridgefield to Marriot at Teaneck bag and baggage. :)
At the training our table of 6 guys ended up winning the most points for the whole 3 days of accumulated points, for been on time and the quiz questions.
Reached back home by 5:45pm after starting around 3:45pm. There was one major accident besides the NewArk airport.
On the way, got a call from Bal Atwal via skype that was routed to my cell phone. Talked for a few, did not recognize him for a bit, was wondering who it was.
He asked about Eva, told him had called her a few times nothing much happening there. And as she seems to be having her own plans which I am not a part off. Looks from her blog that her interests are else where.
Well just need to keep myself busy and busier and fill up my brain with so much that I would not have time for my own personal life.
Three days of training and EATING I have gained about 5 lbs. :(
Go for a long walk around 8:pm sit by the lil lake for about 2 hrs watching the stars and sky. Its a new moon night. And supposed to be Solar eclipse in the pacific cook islands. Astrologically a very powerful time for changes.
------------------------
Woke up a bit late and was lazy to pack up and move from the Days Inn in Ridgefield to Marriot at Teaneck bag and baggage. :)
At the training our table of 6 guys ended up winning the most points for the whole 3 days of accumulated points, for been on time and the quiz questions.
Reached back home by 5:45pm after starting around 3:45pm. There was one major accident besides the NewArk airport.
On the way, got a call from Bal Atwal via skype that was routed to my cell phone. Talked for a few, did not recognize him for a bit, was wondering who it was.
He asked about Eva, told him had called her a few times nothing much happening there. And as she seems to be having her own plans which I am not a part off. Looks from her blog that her interests are else where.
Well just need to keep myself busy and busier and fill up my brain with so much that I would not have time for my own personal life.
Three days of training and EATING I have gained about 5 lbs. :(
Go for a long walk around 8:pm sit by the lil lake for about 2 hrs watching the stars and sky. Its a new moon night. And supposed to be Solar eclipse in the pacific cook islands. Astrologically a very powerful time for changes.
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