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Caring out of love v/s out of sense of duty or obligation !!

 It is one of the reasons I think its difficult to find someone to do the care-giving work to our satisfaction, Since almost all of them do it out of the obligation of getting paid or if its a relative, they do it out of sense of society-imposed duty,,,
which for sure helps in getting them started, but then its just a matter of time before their good behavior collapses and they start getting angry and resentful, And they tend to take it out on the very person they are supposed to care for and on others.

the feeling of energy drained out and not even able to call up any one for, just a chat.... the few hours I get for myself,, I just collapse in bed... Now its past 2am and this is the time I really get to do any kind of catch up ,, well that is if I have the energy for that...  just cannot believe that its been over 4 years and almost end of 5th year , with out even a day off.... 

But one thing I had the fortune of realizing is (courtesy of some malu movie) that ,,, if you are doing things out of a sense of duty, responsibility or obligation,,,, soon you will start getting frustrated and angry ... but if you do it with a sense of love and learn to love doing it,,, energy level is totally different.... And with 5 years just flying by, tells a lot .... 

Dementia, a cruel demon !

 

*************************** May-8-2022 Sunday

Dementia,,, a cruel demon, that turns grown men into a baby, in mentality and behavior.

Dementia,,, a cruel demon, that tortures the loved ones who are themselves lost and trying to comprehend about their loved ones change in behavior..

,,, the struggle to remember, what was once a no-brainier,

the struggle to remember where the toilet was,

reaching the toilet and the struggle to remember, why one was there,

the struggle to remember to drink water,

the struggle to remember how to eat, what to eat.

Sitting down to eat, spoon in hand, staring at the food and wondering , what am I supposed to do now ??

The struggle or rather the inability to remember to brush ones teeth and how to brush !!?? ......

The STRUGGLE !!!

That HEART WARMING golden moment, when dad looks at you, recognizes you after days of blank stares, smiles and seem to say " I am glad, I have you in my corner " !!!!! <3 fills up my heart and makes every moment spent with him, worth it.. 😍