Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Jul 26, 2011. count down to move.

Tuesday, jul 26 2011

Starting the blog with my daily horoscope.

Daily Horoscope for Tuesday, July 26
Other people are more selfish than usual, but not you. That could mean it's much easier to take advantage of you, so do your best to cushion yourself from the worst of it.

Well tell me something I don't know, been taken advantage of by others seem to be my life story. :)

need to focus on getting a few things done.
feeling a bit energised by the mail from bos, potential interview again short term, maybe 6 months. in a new thing on demand. trained recently but not experienced. so have to see how it will work out, atleast part of it I have exp from last project.

So to get cracking and get motivated to do some hard core reading,,, ahahaha.. I just wish that I had the ability like many people to stay focused and objective like that.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Jul 25 2011, last week in st sq

Monday, Jul 25 2011

Well for one, I am looking like most people in the world, to make good, sensible, compatible friends. And in the process if I get to meet some one who I feel a stronger connection with, GREAT.
So here goes, I am a simple down to earth guy, live a simple life. Go out and dance the Salsa, bachata, merengue, cha-cha, cumbia.

Lately I have been falling more deeply in love with cumbia and got goose bumps the last time I danced it. People around felt it and came to compliment me about my dancing, but the fact was I just did basic steps/moves and really enjoyed dancing it with my heart.

That told me something about life. All you have to do is, love something that you do or do something that you love.
It does not have to be something complicated or trying to do something complex. Just keep life simple and live simple. :)

Just do it for the love of doing it and enjoy doing it with all your deep sincerity. And you will automatically find that you are smiling from ear to ear. When other people see that sincere-happy smile, they all like it.

And there you are doing one of lifes greatest deeds, "Spreading Goodness Around".

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Jul 24, 2011 , Last full sunday

Sunday, Jul 24 2011.

Today is going to be my last full sunday at this apt. feel sad to let go, it was a very nice place to live in.
I am a fool who gets easily attached to people, places and things. Glad I do not have any friends in this apt. or it would have been even more difficult.
Even then letting go is such a painful experience. Getting out of a comfort zone I was in for the past year and half.

Get started with more packing.
Check out home depot for rental truck or u haul

Despite all this up and downs :

JUST FEEL LIKE SAYING, I LOVE MY LIFE :)

afternoon go to temple and then from there to nar's house, End up talking for a few hours catching up on each others lives. had dinner there and reached back home around 11:30pm about 1 hr and 30 mins drive for 70plus miles.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Jul 23 2011, heat wave

Saturday, jul 23 2011

The heat wave continues, not in any mood to step out of the house and face the 105 deg temp. enjoying the 80 deg in the apt.

Watched some internet videos yesterday night after getting back from Borders. How nice it would have been had they had the same kind of crowd come in every day. But now they are going out of business with discounts of upto 40 %.

was reading the book by dale carnegie.

A small man flies into a rage over the slightest of criticism, but the wise man is eager to learn from those who have censured him and reproved him and disputed the passage with him.

Walt Whitman -> Have you learned lessons only of those who admired you and were tender with you, and stood aside for you?
Have you not learned great lessons from those who rejected you, and braced themselves against you, or disputed the passage with you?

well got to get back to packing my stuff and get ready for the move.

Still trying to motivate myself to stay focused and get some studying done to improve my knowledge.

Friday, July 22, 2011

july 22 Friday, end of week, one more to go

Friday, jul 22, 2011

Early morning interview, with a few people calling from ind for job in us. it went well, just put off by the fact that dumbos from dumb companies have suddenly risen to be managers rank in ind and are having the control over blocking my lifes direction.

About time I either get out of this rut I am stuck in for about 10 years or continue to be here and become redundant in the market. Or reposition myself into management.

Temperatures are soaring here in the East coast, funny been in a second Summer in one year, one in india and now in the Us.

Have to now get down to the last packing of my stuff and be ready to move out by the end of next week.

Was nice dancing with the girl with the sweetest beautiful innocent smile, how nice it would be to be loved by someone like that, just that ever present smile would be an all positive reaffirmation and motivation to help me get thru any bad day. Just thinking about her smile makes my heart smile and go flush. :),,, love love love.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Jul 21 2011, Thursday

Thursday, Jul 21 2011,

Atleast I can look forward to a night of salsa tonite.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Jul 20 2011, day of unravelling

Wednesday, Jul 20 2011,

The day , have a feeling that its going to reveal itself like layers of Onion been peeled. In a way arousing my own curiosity as to what lays ahead.

Yesterday signed up for the new apartment, again for 3 month only. So unsure of the next steps related to the job I may get. So far no one contacted me and its been 3 weeks. So soon they may either kick me out and in that case will be moving to a new short term project in an entirely different location.

Looking for a perm job, but non seems to be materializing.

And this opportunity to study some great subjects is in front of me and I am not making any good use of it. So totally feeling unmotivated and on the border of depression. Which in turn is making me lazy and not able to motivate myself to do any work out or go for a run. Which again is causing me to become fatter and fatter..... ahhhhh

Monday, July 18, 2011

Jul 18, inspiring day

Monday, Jul 18 2011

Life and happiness I am discovering are all about our ability to control our desires.

The more we are able to let go of our attachments to worldly entities, the more we are in control of our faculties to control our own happiness.

One learns from ones past, but lost are those who ignore the past and bull doze into the future. And the result, history repeating itself.
Then they wonder with bitter feelings and words. When the answer is right there hehehehe.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Jul 17 Sunday, Humbleness

2011 Jul 17 Sunday, Humbleness


What thoughts can I think today to help me feel HUMBLE, grounded and down to earth.

The constant thoughts of Grandeur and actions Filled with excitement, desiring, craving the highs of Excitement often seems to lead to loosing control soon and feelings of regret going forward.


Comes back to Lifes purpose????? --> Choice of Spreading goodness around :)

We are all constantly thinking and that thinking leads of seeking to ful fill our predominant thoughts and desires. In essence if we think in terms of Grandeur, wanting to be royalty, treated like royalty, been the center of attention, seeking excitement which again leads to seeking higher and higher levels as doing the same things which were exciting at one point always seem lead to boredom. The point is people seeking the superficial highs tend to go in a direction which is like entering a tunnel of destruction which never ends.

Which again brings me to what I need to do, and it dawned upon me, that its just my own thoughts. If I would consciously try to think thoughts that are humbling in nature, it would help me stay in a plateau of peace and harmony.

I do not have to go to exotic places to seek that, I could just do that where ever I am. In my own room, just in my own mind and body, I would not need the help or company of others to achieve that - those thoughts and state.

Just have to sincerely make the effort to think the humble thoughts about myself and believe in the greatness and greater powers of the universe.

That again starts with been honest with my own self.

The more honest one is to oneself about oneself, the easier it is to understand what we truly are doing and need to do to improve our-self.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Jul 16 2011, lowest Customer service

Sat Jul 16 2011

After coming across the lowest excuses in the customer service I received of recent, I was feeling a bit low and confused.

The movers were all quoting high rates there by making it impossible to think of hiring a mover.

And then the sick nickle and diming from the lady debbie mol at the rental office of Scully Company, wanting $50 towards admin fee in addition to the rent I Would be giving for moving in a day early.....
that room has and is vacant there and if I move in a day early, the company would benefit,
And had I rather applied again, it would have costed me just $40 with the credit check.

It feels so funny that people come up with weirdest excuses to not do their job of providing good customer service, instead leave customers with a bad taste after their interaction.
her excuse is that she would have to redo every thing, REdo every thing? you just have to change the dates by one day and I had not even given the security deposit.

It was just sick and feel that even the US there are people who tend to behave in such a lowly way.

Wanted to move in a day early as I was not able to find any movers to come on Sunday the jul 31st

Its not like I was asking for this to make things difficult for everyone. In fact she seems to have taken on herself to make life difficult for everyone, if this is the welcome I got now, wonder how their customer service would be latter. ahhh ,,,, would not recommend this place to anyone and would rather try to move away after my 3 months stay.

Wonder if this is the vision statement of their company to make life difficult for people moving into their rental apartment.

Or maybe the employees are just propagating the Vision and attitude of the Higher Management. Good retarded job by Scully Company.

Well at least it gives me some material for my job in Customer Relationship Management (CRM).
Great example of what should not be done and how business is lost by even one persons crude behavior. :) cheers.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Jul 12, 2011, another day of house hunting`

Tuesday, Jul 12, 2011
Was ready and fully charged for facing today, especially after the great out door run I had for this month.
Kind of too hot to run in the heat, or is it because I did not run much after my constant visits to the mid-west.

Anyways got to the hat apts. and was pleased to hear about some good deals. Would easily save me about $500 per month. The area looked good and seemed to have a hiking trail just besides it. And lots of Indians.... Just that its a bit away from the shopping areas, so what. for $500 I could easily do the extra driving.

Called up Raj who is the head of callcenter in US for cog.. turned up that he was with me in my 1st company in us. wow that is something nice to know and connect with.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Jul 11 , 11 (2011). Uncertainty reins

Jul 11 , 11 (2011). Monday,
Uncertainty reins again, where should I move to, what if I get laid off, what if I get a job with another company. What if cog asks me to move, well that is ok as they will pay for the relocation and other things.

just got back from hatfield, close by town, there seem to be a good apt there, well okay compared to where I am now. hope to go there tomorrow and see if they have any for leasing and have to see if they have short term lease.

now the pain starts with the lap top battery not getting charged.. something happened on my last visit to lacros. dammm all these lousy crap thats causing unwanted expenses.

Don't feel like going out to dance either. kind of loosing the motivation to go out 40 miles and return 40 miles. with the cost of gas going up, it does not feel worthy to take the long trip. would have been worth it if I was interested in someone there. hmmmmm maybe, but I am not that inspired by them right now.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Jul 09 2011 .. search for the new apt

Sat Jul 09 2011

The search for new apt starts now... got to go out and start hunting for a cheaper place to stay.

Maybe head to some tranquil place and pray and meditate. Seems to be a very hot and warm day, can feel the heat seeping into the house.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Jul 08 Friday... rain. lightening and thunder

Friday, Jul 08 2011

Start of a slow day, with plans to do some major reading, and now its about 3:30pm and have not got anything done.
Eyes seem to be tired.
And its raining cats and dogs with major lightening and thunder. was thinking of stepping out for some milk and checking out the housing for rental.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Jul 07 thursday, why is it....

Thursday, Jul 07, 2011

Why is it that the things we want most always seems to be so elusive. Was putting down on paper a couple of things that are most important to me and they seem to elude me. WHY.

Something from Osho... never ever thought that I would get back to Osho again after about 20 years. But some of his words do make sense thou not all his contradictory statements and claims of been an incarnation of Buddha.

"Everybody has been a child, and everybody has the same urge to get love; and nobody is born in any other way. So all are asking, "Give us love" and there is nobody to give, because the other person is also brought up in the same way. So one has to be alert and aware that just an incident of birth should not remain a constant prevailing state of your mind. Rather than asking, "Give me love," start giving love.

Forget about getting, simply give; and I guarantee you, you will get much." Osho
Love without clinging
Let go of expectations, rules, and demands
Free yourself from the fear of being alone
Be fully present in your relationships
Keep your love fresh and alive
Become a life partner with whom someone could continue to grow and change
Surrender your ego so you can surrender to love.

So I guess that its the inner child in me crying out for give me love and have been chasing it. But even when I decided to just let go and love for the sake of love, only ended up loving the wrong person and hurting my self, when I should have sensibly pulled out at the right time. good lessons of life learnt . :)



dads house and ancestral property:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVvsFP_fHD0

hmm my video of deshusking and working early morning at home 6:30am.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59V-6hLiwG0


Should I go for the biriyani today or just let go? maybe if I can make it out by 7:30 should be able to get there before 8:30 and get some biriyani packed for the week end.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Jul 06 Wed.. The wait and confusing starts

Wednesday, Jul 06 2011,

ITs confusing waiting and not knowing whats in store. Bos called back yesterday, thou he said somethings, he did not sound encouraging and optimistic. Was like he himself was not sure.
Now the question is should I start to apply . Not able to motivate myself to do it.

Was able to get some household chores done and my care inspection passed and oil changed. Submitted the expense report too.

Its like I need something challenging or rather that keeps me not too stressed, but still gives me the sense of been useful and doing something useful and contributing something useful to the society.

Just had my yummy salmon curry and then had canned fruits and blue berries for dinner yesterday.

Kind of gloomy today, nothing much seems to be happening, got chatting with vib in kerala in the afternoon.
Don't feel motivated to go for a run, might go out for a walk after the mad mony show.
or better skip that too.
Atleast got FB having video now to chat.

It was another frustrating instance getting a call for a job from a guy, totally Tamil. Trying all kinds of funny talk and not answering my questions with direct answers and playing around with words. at first he says it maybe a fly in fly out kind of job and then he wants me to re-locate to san-deigo.. so I ask him why and he comes up with the vaugest answers .
Then when I ask him the salary, he starts talking about H1B visa and Green card and stuff...... got so frustrated and just told him,, hey listen, I am not interested in your h1 visa and green card, I am happy with my canadian, so stop trying to tell me or sell me on that and tell me how much you can pay me.... at which he gave me a fig that was like 40 percent less than what I am making now.... so told him sorry I am not interested and just hung up with a thank you.

Good god the amount of time that guy wasted talking round and round in circles. lousy prick like that will only try and take things for granted going forward. Better to cut off these kind of people in all walks of our life and not let them in, nothing good EVER comes out of any kind of relationships with liars and crooked manipulative people.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Jul 04 2011 Back home and full of adventure

Monday, July 04 2011,

Just got back from a 56 mile bike ride..... phew never ever thought that I would or could do that. Thanks to mal baby for coming up with the idea and pushing it thru. She was and has a good sense of adventure.
Just that after all the hours of biking my arse hurt really bad. And by the way this was the first time I biked in the US. used to bike in India out of necessity unlike the people in the west who bike for recreation, which again I don't think the people in the developed countries can ever understand.

And day before it was a great hike with syd and gang on Sat, was good to see chistina, seemed to be a bit on the down side, usually the bubbly gal who lit up the surrounding with her sincere smile seemed to be down.

Drive on Friday from lacrosse to wassu was so scenic. loved the green beauty of the American country side. Especially the sweet and nice people. So many blonds there all from the Norwegian area who came and settled in US.
drove for about 3hrs to reach wassu. then the flight from wassau to Detroit, dinner at detroit airport, with a tang of beer. And then the flight to Phl, looks like I got upgraded to Sky sliver by the delta airline, as now I got into zone 2 and a seat with lots of leg room. cheers to that and many more flights to come...

good god, I have been traveling and spending most of my time at the airports this year. Guess my life is one huge adventure of traveling all over the world. Got to stop resisting it and enjoying the travel and looking forward to many more.

now to get a beer and watch some world come games... and yes kingfisher beer.. ;)

Got to see how it will go with mal baby in the coming future, she seemed to be very reasonable in her arguments.. just that she is a indian who was born with a silver spoon and does not understand that the rest of india is not fortunate like her and are struggling to get even one meal a day.